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There are two kinds of narcissists: 1. Grandiose narcissists: Dominant, extraverted, overconfident, exploitative, egotistical, low emotional distress. This is the version of narcissism people tend to be most familiar with. 2. Vulnerable narcissists: Self-centered, introverted, defensive, resentful, high emotional distress. Psychologists call them โ€œhiddenโ€ narcissists because they donโ€™t self-promote the way the grandiose types do. Compared with grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists are more susceptible to narcissistic injury. Narcissistic injury occurs when a narcissist feels that their hidden, โ€œtrue selfโ€ has been revealedโ€”insecure, envious, deceitful, manipulativeโ€”they resent having a mirror held up to them. When their self-image is questionedโ€”they react with rage. Both grandiose and vulnerable narcissists hold high opinions of themselves and believe they deserve special treatment. Grandiose narcissists enjoy any kind of attention. Their positive self-image is resistant to criticism. They always think theyโ€™re amazing no matter what people say. In contrast, vulnerable narcissists have mixed feelings about seeking attention. They are overly excited at the prospect of positive feedback. But excessively sensitive to negative feedback. They have a high opinion of themselves, though this opinion can be thwarted if the external world does not validate it. Both types of narcissists tend to be exploitative and see themselves as superior in some way. Compared to grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists are more sensitive to insults, ruminate more about perceived unfairness, and report more anger when they do not receive what they think they deserve. Although vulnerable narcissists require external feedback to maintain their sense of self, they are often dissatisfied with the feedback they receive. The typical grandiose narcissist is a wolf in wolfโ€™s clothing. You can spot him a mile away. But the vulnerable narcissist is a wolf in sheepโ€™s clothing. They are much harder to detect. From my Peterson Academy lecture series

Rob Henderson

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