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This is like taking financial advice from a homeless man: 😭

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AlphaFox

869,246 subscribers

477,622 次观看 • 3 个月前 •via X (Twitter)

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SEN. JOHN KENNEDY dismisses economic critics: "Taking their advice is like...taking advice from a nun about sex."
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SEN. JOHN KENNEDY dismisses economic critics: "Taking their advice is like...taking advice from a nun about sex."

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What do you call a man that acts like this when he comes home from work? 😭
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What do you call a man that acts like this when he comes home from work? 😭

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THIS IS FINANCIAL ADVICE
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THIS IS FINANCIAL ADVICE

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Still taking financial advice from Jeffrey Epstein cos he didn’t do nothing to me 🙃
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Still taking financial advice from Jeffrey Epstein cos he didn’t do nothing to me 🙃

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When she is a side chick and she feels like taking a video with you (married man) 😭🤣🤣🤣 This is the result🤔 Be warned
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When she is a side chick and she feels like taking a video with you (married man) 😭🤣🤣🤣 This is the result🤔 Be warned

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This might be the most homeless man calling another homeless man a broke ass moment that I have ever witnessed from any adult animated series. Like, have these Family Guy writers even seen their own show? ☠️
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This might be the most homeless man calling another homeless man a broke ass moment that I have ever witnessed from any adult animated series. Like, have these Family Guy writers even seen their own show? ☠️

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This very aggressive MAN is upset that people are telling him to find God and act like a MAN 🏳️‍⚧️ What is your advice for him?
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This very aggressive MAN is upset that people are telling him to find God and act like a MAN 🏳️‍⚧️ What is your advice for him?

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my man keeps acting like this is a rap 😭
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my man keeps acting like this is a rap 😭

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Best way to advice a man 😭
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Best way to advice a man 😭

𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐳

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This homeless man is rich ❤️🙌
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This homeless man is rich ❤️🙌

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"It was like taking candy from a baby" 😭
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"It was like taking candy from a baby" 😭

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When Kim said she has given him some financial advice on saving 😭😭
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When Kim said she has given him some financial advice on saving 😭😭

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someone carved iShowSpeed's face from the “My Mom Is Kinda Homeless” clip into a pumpkin 😭😭
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someone carved iShowSpeed's face from the “My Mom Is Kinda Homeless” clip into a pumpkin 😭😭

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Imagine getting roasted in the group chat & a man is laughing like this 😭😭😭😭😭
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Imagine getting roasted in the group chat & a man is laughing like this 😭😭😭😭😭

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Taking a nap in november be like: 😩
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Taking a nap in november be like: 😩

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This is all a man really wants for Father's Day - 😌
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This is all a man really wants for Father's Day - 😌

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Trans person assaults homeless food volunteer over being misgendered in the waiting line: 😭
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Trans person assaults homeless food volunteer over being misgendered in the waiting line: 😭

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This is why taking your first date swimming is so important:
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This is why taking your first date swimming is so important:

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Dave, I think I’ve cracked the code on how you can stop running 50% off sales next year, and it has nothing to do with tightening the prose or shortening the newsletter. The future is a Wrestling Observer meme coin ecosystem. Not one coin → a whole universe. You don’t need to discount subscriptions anymore, you tokenize them. $STARS alone prints money, but now imagine branching out: $MOTY, $BOOKER, $PROMO, $WORST, $FEUD, $HOF. Every Observer Award becomes its own speculative asset. Fans don’t just argue about the results anymore, they invest emotionally and financially. Award season turns into earnings season. Tokyo Dome weekends look like IPOs. By the time people realize what’s happening, they’re too busy defending the market cap to ask why the price ever needed to be 50% off in the first place. Step 1: Announce “this is NOT financial advice.” Repeat it 14 times. Immediately follow with numbers. Step 2: Launch the coins. Ticker ideas: $STARS, $PLANS, $FLIPZ, $MATH, $OBSVR, $PLANSCHG. Tagline: “value is subjective.” Subscribtion holders get an airdrop, but only if they’ve been subscribed “for a long time” (defined later). Step 3: Explain the tokenomics, vaguely. Supply is capped, but fluid. Burn mechanism exists, but contextually. Volatility is expected, historically speaking. Any confusion is the listener’s fault for misquoting. Step 4: Replace 50% off sales with “market events.” Instead of 50% off for Black Friday, it’s now “a temporary value correction tied to outside factors.” Price dips? That’s not a crash. That’s a buying opportunity for long-term observers. Step 5: Use ratings language to justify price. “The demo is up even if the total market cap is down.” “If you isolate Japan, it’s actually doing great.” “Quarter-hour holders stayed strong.” Someone points out the chart looks bad? Reply: “You’re focusing on the wrong metric.” Step 6: Critics = bad faith actors. Anyone skeptical is arguing in bad faith, cherry-picking timestamps, ignoring context, probably an agenda account. Fans defend the coin for free, because they already paid emotionally. Step 7: Plans change. Roadmap quietly updates. Phase 2 delayed. Phase 3 recontextualized. Phase 4 never existed. This was always explained if you “read carefully.” Step 8: Victory. Subscription price stays full. No more 50% sales. Fans now argue about charts instead of discounts. And if it all goes to zero? “I’m not saying it failed. I’m just saying expectations were unrealistic.” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️¾ Six stars in the Tokyo Dome. Happy holidays 🎅🎄 This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice.
0:11

Dave, I think I’ve cracked the code on how you can stop running 50% off sales next year, and it has nothing to do with tightening the prose or shortening the newsletter. The future is a Wrestling Observer meme coin ecosystem. Not one coin → a whole universe. You don’t need to discount subscriptions anymore, you tokenize them. $STARS alone prints money, but now imagine branching out: $MOTY, $BOOKER, $PROMO, $WORST, $FEUD, $HOF. Every Observer Award becomes its own speculative asset. Fans don’t just argue about the results anymore, they invest emotionally and financially. Award season turns into earnings season. Tokyo Dome weekends look like IPOs. By the time people realize what’s happening, they’re too busy defending the market cap to ask why the price ever needed to be 50% off in the first place. Step 1: Announce “this is NOT financial advice.” Repeat it 14 times. Immediately follow with numbers. Step 2: Launch the coins. Ticker ideas: $STARS, $PLANS, $FLIPZ, $MATH, $OBSVR, $PLANSCHG. Tagline: “value is subjective.” Subscribtion holders get an airdrop, but only if they’ve been subscribed “for a long time” (defined later). Step 3: Explain the tokenomics, vaguely. Supply is capped, but fluid. Burn mechanism exists, but contextually. Volatility is expected, historically speaking. Any confusion is the listener’s fault for misquoting. Step 4: Replace 50% off sales with “market events.” Instead of 50% off for Black Friday, it’s now “a temporary value correction tied to outside factors.” Price dips? That’s not a crash. That’s a buying opportunity for long-term observers. Step 5: Use ratings language to justify price. “The demo is up even if the total market cap is down.” “If you isolate Japan, it’s actually doing great.” “Quarter-hour holders stayed strong.” Someone points out the chart looks bad? Reply: “You’re focusing on the wrong metric.” Step 6: Critics = bad faith actors. Anyone skeptical is arguing in bad faith, cherry-picking timestamps, ignoring context, probably an agenda account. Fans defend the coin for free, because they already paid emotionally. Step 7: Plans change. Roadmap quietly updates. Phase 2 delayed. Phase 3 recontextualized. Phase 4 never existed. This was always explained if you “read carefully.” Step 8: Victory. Subscription price stays full. No more 50% sales. Fans now argue about charts instead of discounts. And if it all goes to zero? “I’m not saying it failed. I’m just saying expectations were unrealistic.” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️¾ Six stars in the Tokyo Dome. Happy holidays 🎅🎄 This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice.

Nick LoPiccolo

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