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Trolls in meccha chameleon ruin all the fun ;w; I need more meccha chameleon friends please let's play meccha chameleon! It's so fun. :D _____ /_____|_____ __( )| ___________| |_____/ This thing I made took longer than me voicing the anim ;o; Also just fyi it's me-cha chameleon not...

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98,100 views • 1 month ago •via X (Twitter)

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#SEONGHWA about today's stage at the 2025 AAA ⭐️: I felt pressure because I was performing in front of someone who used to be my idol (IU), but since I prepared so hard for it, I did have confidence. But after the performance, I monitored it and in the first line I did one little pitch mistake. At least that’s how it felt for me, so… 🐶: It didn't show~! ⭐️: Yes.. I only realized it after I finished bc I was so immersed in the performance… so yeah, that’s what happened. 🐶: no but that.. ⭐️: it was a bit.. 🐶: everything's okay, it wasn't noticeable! ⭐️: I was a bit embarrassed… I felt embarrassed. 🐶: no.. it's because the members, I'm like that too, but on stage… when I go in, from the very beginning, from the intro, San is like that as well.. everyone looks at me with this sharp, cold gaze. Maybe it's because we all go in with that hyped-up and intense mood, yeah… (Reading a comment) "I was so excited because of the performance that I didn’t notice at all." ⭐️: Mm well, some people might have noticed and some might not, but still… What should I say? 🐶: But your dance break today was really cool, hyung ⭐️: I did my best. I really did my best, but I’ll make up for what was lacking today and show an even better performance tomorrow. 🐶: And today Seonghwa hyung had the center part in the dance break right? Yes, that was cool. ⭐️: Once again, after a long time... I ate well! 🐶: Yes, Seonghwa hyung practiced a lot to perfect the dance break center part. ⭐️: For Man On Fire as well.. that last part 🐶: For this stage hyung got all the dance breaks ⭐️: Oh, that's right.. The Man On Fire dance break was a genre we were doing for the first time back then, so it was a bit difficult. But as we performed it in this concert (tour), I became more familiar with it. Because of that, I think I could do it with a bit more confidence this time. 🐶: Each member has a different vibe when they take the dance center. Doesn't Seonghwa hyung have his own unique vibe? Like, restrained but still leaving that ‘killing part’ kind of vibe? ⭐️: Honestly, I’m still lacking a lot. 🐶: Oh, come on.. each member has their own dance-center vibe, but Seonghwa hyung seems to blend them all together? ⭐️: Like a chameleon, doing all sorts of different things right? 🐶: Yes yes.. that's very charming ⭐️: I really like mimicking the teachers’ dance styles too, so that’s why. Anyway, I had no regrets on stage, I had lots of fun. Also, I was happy to be able to show such a cool stage in front of ATINYs. Receiving the awards was great and it also was really good to perform on such a big stage. Personally, performing in front of seniors I admire was very meaningful. It gave me a bit more motivation. 🐶: That's right, Seonghwa hyung really respects that senior after all. ⭐️: I was so nervous.. 🐶: That’s totally understandable, I’d feel the same way in that situation.
3:19

#SEONGHWA about today's stage at the 2025 AAA ⭐️: I felt pressure because I was performing in front of someone who used to be my idol (IU), but since I prepared so hard for it, I did have confidence. But after the performance, I monitored it and in the first line I did one little pitch mistake. At least that’s how it felt for me, so… 🐶: It didn't show~! ⭐️: Yes.. I only realized it after I finished bc I was so immersed in the performance… so yeah, that’s what happened. 🐶: no but that.. ⭐️: it was a bit.. 🐶: everything's okay, it wasn't noticeable! ⭐️: I was a bit embarrassed… I felt embarrassed. 🐶: no.. it's because the members, I'm like that too, but on stage… when I go in, from the very beginning, from the intro, San is like that as well.. everyone looks at me with this sharp, cold gaze. Maybe it's because we all go in with that hyped-up and intense mood, yeah… (Reading a comment) "I was so excited because of the performance that I didn’t notice at all." ⭐️: Mm well, some people might have noticed and some might not, but still… What should I say? 🐶: But your dance break today was really cool, hyung ⭐️: I did my best. I really did my best, but I’ll make up for what was lacking today and show an even better performance tomorrow. 🐶: And today Seonghwa hyung had the center part in the dance break right? Yes, that was cool. ⭐️: Once again, after a long time... I ate well! 🐶: Yes, Seonghwa hyung practiced a lot to perfect the dance break center part. ⭐️: For Man On Fire as well.. that last part 🐶: For this stage hyung got all the dance breaks ⭐️: Oh, that's right.. The Man On Fire dance break was a genre we were doing for the first time back then, so it was a bit difficult. But as we performed it in this concert (tour), I became more familiar with it. Because of that, I think I could do it with a bit more confidence this time. 🐶: Each member has a different vibe when they take the dance center. Doesn't Seonghwa hyung have his own unique vibe? Like, restrained but still leaving that ‘killing part’ kind of vibe? ⭐️: Honestly, I’m still lacking a lot. 🐶: Oh, come on.. each member has their own dance-center vibe, but Seonghwa hyung seems to blend them all together? ⭐️: Like a chameleon, doing all sorts of different things right? 🐶: Yes yes.. that's very charming ⭐️: I really like mimicking the teachers’ dance styles too, so that’s why. Anyway, I had no regrets on stage, I had lots of fun. Also, I was happy to be able to show such a cool stage in front of ATINYs. Receiving the awards was great and it also was really good to perform on such a big stage. Personally, performing in front of seniors I admire was very meaningful. It gave me a bit more motivation. 🐶: That's right, Seonghwa hyung really respects that senior after all. ⭐️: I was so nervous.. 🐶: That’s totally understandable, I’d feel the same way in that situation.

Everything Seonghwa

61,750 views • 9 months ago

This was my favorite part of #Flex1045xJossGawinConcert 🎙: What is something you've managed to overcome within yourself? 🐻: The first big thing that comes to mind was before the fancon. 🎙: Last year's fancon? 🐻: Yes. I remember talking to Gawin about how I still wasn't confident that I could do it. I already knew that no matter what, I was going to have to get on that stage. But at that time, I felt like I didn't really belong there. Maybe because I came from an acting background. 🐻: I also had a lot of worries. A lot of my friends are artists, like Timethai and P'Pae, who are musicians. They've spent years building up their experience. Even Gawin himself has been playing music since he was a teenager, since he was a kid. 🐻: But for me, I had only recently started trying and learning. A lot of the time, it didn't feel natural. It wasn't something I could just do right away. I had to practice, practice, and practice again and agian. When I first started taking lessons, there were still times when I'd sing off key or dance out of rhythm. So I felt like everything was moving so slowly. I was starting late, after all. 🐻: But as I kept practicing more and more, I gradually became more confident. Still, there was always a small part of me that wondered, because I'd never performed on a big stage before. I didn't know what it would be like. Would I be able to handle the nerves? What if I made a mistake? What would happen then? 🐻: It took time. In the end, my friends and the people close to me helped me realize that it was all just part of the experience. Whatever is going to happen will happen. I feel lucky to have people around me who made me feel comfortable enough to just go for it. 🐻: And we practiced so much that, for some songs, it became second nature to me. That's when I started thinking, Okay, maybe I started later than other people, but if I put in enough practice and give myself enough time, I can do it. 🐻: Then when the day finally came and I actually did it, I really could do it. Even though there were mistakes and it wasn't perfect, I still felt like, Wow, I actually did a good job. And when I got feedback from my friends, the fans, and the seniors who told me they were very surprised that I was able to do this well, I thought, Okay... yeah, it's difficult. But it's not impossible. 🎙: Everything is possible. Anything is possible. Let's give him a round of applause. 👏🏻
2:39

This was my favorite part of #Flex1045xJossGawinConcert 🎙: What is something you've managed to overcome within yourself? 🐻: The first big thing that comes to mind was before the fancon. 🎙: Last year's fancon? 🐻: Yes. I remember talking to Gawin about how I still wasn't confident that I could do it. I already knew that no matter what, I was going to have to get on that stage. But at that time, I felt like I didn't really belong there. Maybe because I came from an acting background. 🐻: I also had a lot of worries. A lot of my friends are artists, like Timethai and P'Pae, who are musicians. They've spent years building up their experience. Even Gawin himself has been playing music since he was a teenager, since he was a kid. 🐻: But for me, I had only recently started trying and learning. A lot of the time, it didn't feel natural. It wasn't something I could just do right away. I had to practice, practice, and practice again and agian. When I first started taking lessons, there were still times when I'd sing off key or dance out of rhythm. So I felt like everything was moving so slowly. I was starting late, after all. 🐻: But as I kept practicing more and more, I gradually became more confident. Still, there was always a small part of me that wondered, because I'd never performed on a big stage before. I didn't know what it would be like. Would I be able to handle the nerves? What if I made a mistake? What would happen then? 🐻: It took time. In the end, my friends and the people close to me helped me realize that it was all just part of the experience. Whatever is going to happen will happen. I feel lucky to have people around me who made me feel comfortable enough to just go for it. 🐻: And we practiced so much that, for some songs, it became second nature to me. That's when I started thinking, Okay, maybe I started later than other people, but if I put in enough practice and give myself enough time, I can do it. 🐻: Then when the day finally came and I actually did it, I really could do it. Even though there were mistakes and it wasn't perfect, I still felt like, Wow, I actually did a good job. And when I got feedback from my friends, the fans, and the seniors who told me they were very surprised that I was able to do this well, I thought, Okay... yeah, it's difficult. But it's not impossible. 🎙: Everything is possible. Anything is possible. Let's give him a round of applause. 👏🏻

🌛โตไม่โต🌈

16,088 views • 3 months ago

Busy day today! Today ~16,000 people flew in my free-to-play flight game made with AI 💸 Revenue update for after 10 days: +💬 19x Blimps sold at various prices = $38,000/mo + ✈️ 12x F16's sold @ $29.99 = ~$360 += $38,360/mo In-game ads are now $5,000/mo, if you want one, get them here: As I said b4, I will keep doubling the in-game ads price because I don't want the world to get too busy with ads and have to keep it exclusive!.Next $10K/mo then $20K/mo until we run out of people who want to buy them :D Today was busy mostly with installing all the sponsor ads in the game, I fixed: ✅ Playable now on low FPS ✅ Improved tank driving and turret aiming ✅ Improved rate of fire because it was slowing down when shooting ✅ Added proper refueling to 100% health if you land back at spawn point and make a full stop ✅ Installed lots of ads for all the sponsors (which was a lot of work because I didn't just wanna add blimps everywhere, I wanted some fun stuff for each sponsor) ✅ Added functioning radar on aircraft carrier (see vid) ✅ Added thank you to all sponsors on start (not load because it will never have load screens :D) screen Video games are definitely A LOT harder in many ways than regular apps, I have a new found respect for video game devs. The to-do list is about 10x to 100x as big as any SaaS app I've ever made! Also because it's so creative, the possibilities are just endless. For example Marc Köhlbrugge suggests "add a tank", I add a tank but then next I need to add a turret aiming system and next I get more ideas "let's add lots of vehicles" then "let's add walking mode". It's really fun but I get it better now how video games are infinity rabbit holes A lot of people ridicule my little game rn, and it's not great or perfect or anything yet I agree, but people play it and seem to have fun and I really do wanna make a cool flight game. I'm happy it makes some money already in its first month, which gives me more motivation to work on it! Next: [ ] 5-min or 10-min like rounds so scores reset [ ] interpolation for smooth planes (I know I know) [ ] I will try CannonJS real physics model library
0:58

Busy day today! Today ~16,000 people flew in my free-to-play flight game made with AI 💸 Revenue update for after 10 days: +💬 19x Blimps sold at various prices = $38,000/mo + ✈️ 12x F16's sold @ $29.99 = ~$360 += $38,360/mo In-game ads are now $5,000/mo, if you want one, get them here: As I said b4, I will keep doubling the in-game ads price because I don't want the world to get too busy with ads and have to keep it exclusive!.Next $10K/mo then $20K/mo until we run out of people who want to buy them :D Today was busy mostly with installing all the sponsor ads in the game, I fixed: ✅ Playable now on low FPS ✅ Improved tank driving and turret aiming ✅ Improved rate of fire because it was slowing down when shooting ✅ Added proper refueling to 100% health if you land back at spawn point and make a full stop ✅ Installed lots of ads for all the sponsors (which was a lot of work because I didn't just wanna add blimps everywhere, I wanted some fun stuff for each sponsor) ✅ Added functioning radar on aircraft carrier (see vid) ✅ Added thank you to all sponsors on start (not load because it will never have load screens :D) screen Video games are definitely A LOT harder in many ways than regular apps, I have a new found respect for video game devs. The to-do list is about 10x to 100x as big as any SaaS app I've ever made! Also because it's so creative, the possibilities are just endless. For example Marc Köhlbrugge suggests "add a tank", I add a tank but then next I need to add a turret aiming system and next I get more ideas "let's add lots of vehicles" then "let's add walking mode". It's really fun but I get it better now how video games are infinity rabbit holes A lot of people ridicule my little game rn, and it's not great or perfect or anything yet I agree, but people play it and seem to have fun and I really do wanna make a cool flight game. I'm happy it makes some money already in its first month, which gives me more motivation to work on it! Next: [ ] 5-min or 10-min like rounds so scores reset [ ] interpolation for smooth planes (I know I know) [ ] I will try CannonJS real physics model library

@levelsio

1,731,949 views • 1 year ago

[💭] 251001 — Chuei Liyu's Interview with Fastpapermag 🐰💙 👤: Please introduce yourself to our Paper friends 🐰: Hello, I'm Chuei Liyu 👤: How do you feel now that is over? 🐰: Before the broadcast, I didn't expect I would receive this much love and attention. Now that I continue to get so much love and support, I feel like the only words I can say is thank you. Thanks to everyone, I was able to meet good people and have great opportunities. I'm really really thankful. 👤: It seems like a lot of people would recognize Liyu on the streets now 🐰: More and more people are recognizing me when I go out now so I kind of feel like I have to dress up well 👤: (Liyu is pretty even without dressing up though...) 👤: The reactions of company staff (to you) must've changed too, right? 🐰: Everytime we meet, there's always of a lot of energy. They often cheer for me loudly. 👤: It looks like you made a lot of friends during filming? 🐰: Haneumie, Woojinie, and Sanghyeonie -- all four of us are really close. Even lately, we've been texting and calling a lot, and recently I filmed something together with Haneum too. I also watched a movie with Sanghyeon 👤: What movie did you watch? 🐰: It's the one Sanghyeon likes... Chainsaw Man? 👤: Was it fun? 🐰: I fell asleep.... 👤: (Let's just say it's not Liyu's taste...ㅋㅋㅋ) 🐰: These days, Woojin has been busy preparing for his entrance exam video, so he would just constantly send me videos 👤: So you watch his videos and give some advice?? 🐰: I just watch the videos... haha 👤: A message to your fans who love you! I'm also curious about your plans in the future. 🐰: I'm always so so thankful. Even though the show is over now, thank you so much for continuing to love and support me. I know you're looking forward to my future plans a lot, so I'll do my best to come back to you with good news soon. #CHUEILIYU #崔立于 #최립우 #BOYS2PLANET #보이즈2플래닛
1:49

[💭] 251001 — Chuei Liyu's Interview with Fastpapermag 🐰💙 👤: Please introduce yourself to our Paper friends 🐰: Hello, I'm Chuei Liyu 👤: How do you feel now that is over? 🐰: Before the broadcast, I didn't expect I would receive this much love and attention. Now that I continue to get so much love and support, I feel like the only words I can say is thank you. Thanks to everyone, I was able to meet good people and have great opportunities. I'm really really thankful. 👤: It seems like a lot of people would recognize Liyu on the streets now 🐰: More and more people are recognizing me when I go out now so I kind of feel like I have to dress up well 👤: (Liyu is pretty even without dressing up though...) 👤: The reactions of company staff (to you) must've changed too, right? 🐰: Everytime we meet, there's always of a lot of energy. They often cheer for me loudly. 👤: It looks like you made a lot of friends during filming? 🐰: Haneumie, Woojinie, and Sanghyeonie -- all four of us are really close. Even lately, we've been texting and calling a lot, and recently I filmed something together with Haneum too. I also watched a movie with Sanghyeon 👤: What movie did you watch? 🐰: It's the one Sanghyeon likes... Chainsaw Man? 👤: Was it fun? 🐰: I fell asleep.... 👤: (Let's just say it's not Liyu's taste...ㅋㅋㅋ) 🐰: These days, Woojin has been busy preparing for his entrance exam video, so he would just constantly send me videos 👤: So you watch his videos and give some advice?? 🐰: I just watch the videos... haha 👤: A message to your fans who love you! I'm also curious about your plans in the future. 🐰: I'm always so so thankful. Even though the show is over now, thank you so much for continuing to love and support me. I know you're looking forward to my future plans a lot, so I'll do my best to come back to you with good news soon. #CHUEILIYU #崔立于 #최립우 #BOYS2PLANET #보이즈2플래닛

CHUEI LI YU GLOBAL

30,705 views • 1 year ago

The tide has turned. In the last week, this is what Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon, Steven Soderbergh, and Christopher Nolan said about AI: "It’s here. We have to observe it. We have to understand it. We have to lean into it. We have to use it in a really constructive and creative way, make it our friend rather than — I mean, we have to be incredibly cautious and aware of it because there are people who will use it for evil and not good. But I do feel that there’s a place for it… it’s here. We have to just be friends in some dark way." - Sandra bullock “The AI revolution has begun, and I need to learn as much as I possibly can about AI and share it with all of you. Also, FYI: the jobs women hold are 3x more likely to be automated by AI, yet women are using AI at a rate 25% lower than men on average. We don’t want to be left behind. So…do you want to learn with me?” - Reese Witherspoon “Five years from now, we all may be going, ‘That was a fun phase.’ We may end up not using it as much as we thought we were going to. There are some people that I have absolute love and respect for that refuse to engage with it. That’s their privilege. But I’m not built that way. You show me a new tool. I want to get my hands on it and see what’s going on.” - Steven Soderbergh “I think any tool, whether AI generated, whether it's computer based, or whatever, it's all another tool for filmmakers to create with. And so as long as we have faith in our in our human beings, creating these tools now, I think the medium of film will continue to develop in exciting ways.” - Christopher Nolan
2:36

The tide has turned. In the last week, this is what Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon, Steven Soderbergh, and Christopher Nolan said about AI: "It’s here. We have to observe it. We have to understand it. We have to lean into it. We have to use it in a really constructive and creative way, make it our friend rather than — I mean, we have to be incredibly cautious and aware of it because there are people who will use it for evil and not good. But I do feel that there’s a place for it… it’s here. We have to just be friends in some dark way." - Sandra bullock “The AI revolution has begun, and I need to learn as much as I possibly can about AI and share it with all of you. Also, FYI: the jobs women hold are 3x more likely to be automated by AI, yet women are using AI at a rate 25% lower than men on average. We don’t want to be left behind. So…do you want to learn with me?” - Reese Witherspoon “Five years from now, we all may be going, ‘That was a fun phase.’ We may end up not using it as much as we thought we were going to. There are some people that I have absolute love and respect for that refuse to engage with it. That’s their privilege. But I’m not built that way. You show me a new tool. I want to get my hands on it and see what’s going on.” - Steven Soderbergh “I think any tool, whether AI generated, whether it's computer based, or whatever, it's all another tool for filmmakers to create with. And so as long as we have faith in our in our human beings, creating these tools now, I think the medium of film will continue to develop in exciting ways.” - Christopher Nolan

Minh Do

23,410 views • 5 months ago

xiumin once said: "[...] work hard but only listen to the things you wanna hear. that's how i live. i don't listen to the bad words, i only listen to kind words. that's why i only listen to 🧚🏻‍♀️ words and i don't listen to anyone else [...]" "you guys got to know me when you were still young and now you've gotten jobs, have careers and working. also it seems like you come to me to unwind a little from the stress of work. ah you've all grown up now. when did you grow this much? when did you grow up so much?! ah seeing how well you've grown up beautifully makes me so proud. even so, work is probably going to get harder from here on out. but you can do it right?! it's actually simple, just ignore everything. ignore all the things that stress you out. if you do that, work will probably feel a little easier. work hard but only listen to the things you wanna hear. that's how i live. i don't listen to the bad words, i only listen to kind words. that's why i only listen to 🧚🏻‍♀️ words and i don't listen to anyone else. kay?! work hard and when you're spending time with me let's have fun together!!! that's how i'm going to live too. okkk? i love you all! i love you! i love youuu! and to those who can't travel abroad, i hope you'll stay healthy and happy and well until i come to china again. okaaay?! i love you i love you! WHEEEEEEE! 👌🏻" and honestly i think that's the healthiest mindset to live. if the goal is to get through life then shouldn't we be trying to be happy? work hard while taking care of yourself, find things that make you happy and hold on to them. what xm said is something a lot of fairies have already been doing. we're here because being a fan brings us joy and likewise he has brought so much happiness into our lives, not because we want to spend our time hating on other members or fight strangers online. not only to fairies but other fan too please remember what he said and just because someone else is being awful doesn't mean we need to prove anything by doing the same (i know it's TEMPTING to fire back FCKKKKKK AAAHHH but still its needed sometimes) maybe choosing not to engage is the better choice (just maybe idk). we're not the biggest fandom but i'm grateful that so many of us have managed to stay level headed through all this. and just because we're not sitting in your quotes and replies all day doesn't mean he has no fans duh we simply have lives outside this app we'd rather spends our time enjoying the artist we love, to spends our energy on things that actually make us happy, saying only the kind stuff, and move on with our day!!! which means most of us have better things to do than obsessing over people we dislike. to minseok, i love you ♡ and to all my fairy friends, i love you ♡
1:33

xiumin once said: "[...] work hard but only listen to the things you wanna hear. that's how i live. i don't listen to the bad words, i only listen to kind words. that's why i only listen to 🧚🏻‍♀️ words and i don't listen to anyone else [...]" "you guys got to know me when you were still young and now you've gotten jobs, have careers and working. also it seems like you come to me to unwind a little from the stress of work. ah you've all grown up now. when did you grow this much? when did you grow up so much?! ah seeing how well you've grown up beautifully makes me so proud. even so, work is probably going to get harder from here on out. but you can do it right?! it's actually simple, just ignore everything. ignore all the things that stress you out. if you do that, work will probably feel a little easier. work hard but only listen to the things you wanna hear. that's how i live. i don't listen to the bad words, i only listen to kind words. that's why i only listen to 🧚🏻‍♀️ words and i don't listen to anyone else. kay?! work hard and when you're spending time with me let's have fun together!!! that's how i'm going to live too. okkk? i love you all! i love you! i love youuu! and to those who can't travel abroad, i hope you'll stay healthy and happy and well until i come to china again. okaaay?! i love you i love you! WHEEEEEEE! 👌🏻" and honestly i think that's the healthiest mindset to live. if the goal is to get through life then shouldn't we be trying to be happy? work hard while taking care of yourself, find things that make you happy and hold on to them. what xm said is something a lot of fairies have already been doing. we're here because being a fan brings us joy and likewise he has brought so much happiness into our lives, not because we want to spend our time hating on other members or fight strangers online. not only to fairies but other fan too please remember what he said and just because someone else is being awful doesn't mean we need to prove anything by doing the same (i know it's TEMPTING to fire back FCKKKKKK AAAHHH but still its needed sometimes) maybe choosing not to engage is the better choice (just maybe idk). we're not the biggest fandom but i'm grateful that so many of us have managed to stay level headed through all this. and just because we're not sitting in your quotes and replies all day doesn't mean he has no fans duh we simply have lives outside this app we'd rather spends our time enjoying the artist we love, to spends our energy on things that actually make us happy, saying only the kind stuff, and move on with our day!!! which means most of us have better things to do than obsessing over people we dislike. to minseok, i love you ♡ and to all my fairy friends, i love you ♡

𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙧.

16,469 views • 3 months ago

Roger Federer: "Effortless is a myth. I worked very hard to make it look easy." "I left school at age 16 to play tennis full-time. So I never went to college. But I did graduate recently. I graduated tennis. I know the word is 'retire', but retired sounds awful. Like you, I finished one big thing and I'm moving on to the next. Like you, I'm figuring out what that is." Lesson 1: Effortless is a myth. "People would say my play was 'effortless.' Most of the time, they meant it as a compliment. But it frustrated me when they'd say, 'He barely broke a sweat' or 'Is he even trying?' The truth is, I had to work very hard to make it look easy." Roger shares the wake-up call: "An opponent at the Italian Open publicly questioned my mental discipline. He said, 'Roger will be the favorite for the first two hours. Then I'll be the favorite after that.' Everyone can play well the first two hours you're fit, you're fast, you're clear. After two hours, your legs get wobbly, your mind starts wandering, your discipline starts to fade. My parents, my coaches, even my rivals were calling me out. So I started to train harder. A lot harder." He explains the paradox: "I got the reputation for being 'effortless' because my warmups at tournaments were so casual that people didn't think I'd been training hard. But I had been working hard before the tournament when nobody was watching." Roger redefines talent: "Yes, talent matters. But talent has a broad definition. Most of the time, it's not about having a gift, it's about having grit. A great forehand can be called a talent. But discipline is also a talent. Patience is a talent. Trusting yourself is a talent. Embracing the process, loving the process, these are talents too. Some people are born with them. Everybody has to work at them." Lesson 2: It's only a point. "You can work harder than you thought possible and still lose. I have many times. Tennis is brutal. Every tournament ends the same way: one player gets a trophy. Every other player gets back on a plane, stares out the window, and thinks, 'How the hell did I miss that shot?'" Roger shares the statistic that changed his mindset: "In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. But what percentage of points do you think I won? Only 54%. Even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play." He explains what this teaches: "When you lose every second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. You teach yourself to think: 'Okay, I double-faulted. It's only a point.' 'I came to the net and got passed again. It's only a point.' Even a great shot, an overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN's Top 10, that too is just a point." Roger shares the key mindset: "When you're playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world. And it is. But when it's behind you, it's behind you. This frees you to fully commit to the next point with intensity, clarity, and focus." He reflects on losing Wimbledon 2008: "Some call it the greatest match of all time. Okay, all respect to Rafa, but I think it would've been way better if I had won. Looking back, I feel like I lost at the very first point. I looked across the net and saw a guy who just a few weeks earlier crushed me in straight sets at the French Open. And I thought, 'This guy is maybe hungrier than I am.' It took me until the third set to remember 'Hey buddy, you're the five-time defending champion. You're on grass. You know how to do this.' But it came too late." Roger shares what champions understand: "The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they know they'll lose again and again, and have learned how to deal with it. You accept it. Cry it out if you need to. Then force a smile. Move on. Be relentless. Adapt and grow. Work harder, work smarter." Lesson 3: Life is bigger than the court. "A tennis court is 2,106 square feet. That's where singles matches happen. Not much bigger than a dorm room. I worked a lot, learned a lot, and ran a lot of miles in that small space. But the world is a whole lot bigger than that." Roger explains his philosophy: "Even when I was just starting out, I knew that tennis could show me the world, but tennis could never be the world. I knew that if I was lucky, I could play competitively until my late 30s, maybe even 41. But even when I was in the top five, it was important to me to have a life, a rewarding life full of travel, culture, friendships, and especially family. These are the reasons I never burned out." He shares what matters most: "Tennis has given me so many memories. But my off-court experiences are the ones I carry forward just as much. The places I've travelled, the platform that lets me give back, and most of all the people I've met along the way." Roger concludes: "Tennis, like life, is a team sport. Yes, you stand alone on your side of the net. But your success depends on your team, your coaches, your teammates, even your rivals. All these influences help make you who you are." His final words: "Whatever game you choose, give it your best. Go for your shots. Play free. Try everything. And most of all, be kind to one another, and have fun out there."
24:55

Roger Federer: "Effortless is a myth. I worked very hard to make it look easy." "I left school at age 16 to play tennis full-time. So I never went to college. But I did graduate recently. I graduated tennis. I know the word is 'retire', but retired sounds awful. Like you, I finished one big thing and I'm moving on to the next. Like you, I'm figuring out what that is." Lesson 1: Effortless is a myth. "People would say my play was 'effortless.' Most of the time, they meant it as a compliment. But it frustrated me when they'd say, 'He barely broke a sweat' or 'Is he even trying?' The truth is, I had to work very hard to make it look easy." Roger shares the wake-up call: "An opponent at the Italian Open publicly questioned my mental discipline. He said, 'Roger will be the favorite for the first two hours. Then I'll be the favorite after that.' Everyone can play well the first two hours you're fit, you're fast, you're clear. After two hours, your legs get wobbly, your mind starts wandering, your discipline starts to fade. My parents, my coaches, even my rivals were calling me out. So I started to train harder. A lot harder." He explains the paradox: "I got the reputation for being 'effortless' because my warmups at tournaments were so casual that people didn't think I'd been training hard. But I had been working hard before the tournament when nobody was watching." Roger redefines talent: "Yes, talent matters. But talent has a broad definition. Most of the time, it's not about having a gift, it's about having grit. A great forehand can be called a talent. But discipline is also a talent. Patience is a talent. Trusting yourself is a talent. Embracing the process, loving the process, these are talents too. Some people are born with them. Everybody has to work at them." Lesson 2: It's only a point. "You can work harder than you thought possible and still lose. I have many times. Tennis is brutal. Every tournament ends the same way: one player gets a trophy. Every other player gets back on a plane, stares out the window, and thinks, 'How the hell did I miss that shot?'" Roger shares the statistic that changed his mindset: "In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. But what percentage of points do you think I won? Only 54%. Even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play." He explains what this teaches: "When you lose every second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. You teach yourself to think: 'Okay, I double-faulted. It's only a point.' 'I came to the net and got passed again. It's only a point.' Even a great shot, an overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN's Top 10, that too is just a point." Roger shares the key mindset: "When you're playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world. And it is. But when it's behind you, it's behind you. This frees you to fully commit to the next point with intensity, clarity, and focus." He reflects on losing Wimbledon 2008: "Some call it the greatest match of all time. Okay, all respect to Rafa, but I think it would've been way better if I had won. Looking back, I feel like I lost at the very first point. I looked across the net and saw a guy who just a few weeks earlier crushed me in straight sets at the French Open. And I thought, 'This guy is maybe hungrier than I am.' It took me until the third set to remember 'Hey buddy, you're the five-time defending champion. You're on grass. You know how to do this.' But it came too late." Roger shares what champions understand: "The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they know they'll lose again and again, and have learned how to deal with it. You accept it. Cry it out if you need to. Then force a smile. Move on. Be relentless. Adapt and grow. Work harder, work smarter." Lesson 3: Life is bigger than the court. "A tennis court is 2,106 square feet. That's where singles matches happen. Not much bigger than a dorm room. I worked a lot, learned a lot, and ran a lot of miles in that small space. But the world is a whole lot bigger than that." Roger explains his philosophy: "Even when I was just starting out, I knew that tennis could show me the world, but tennis could never be the world. I knew that if I was lucky, I could play competitively until my late 30s, maybe even 41. But even when I was in the top five, it was important to me to have a life, a rewarding life full of travel, culture, friendships, and especially family. These are the reasons I never burned out." He shares what matters most: "Tennis has given me so many memories. But my off-court experiences are the ones I carry forward just as much. The places I've travelled, the platform that lets me give back, and most of all the people I've met along the way." Roger concludes: "Tennis, like life, is a team sport. Yes, you stand alone on your side of the net. But your success depends on your team, your coaches, your teammates, even your rivals. All these influences help make you who you are." His final words: "Whatever game you choose, give it your best. Go for your shots. Play free. Try everything. And most of all, be kind to one another, and have fun out there."

Jaynit

251,083 views • 6 months ago

🦕💬 • 260611 [01:03 AM KST] 41 voice notes transcripted/translated in order: hi how did you like made by riize? you’re asking if i ate dinner? i didn’t eat. i ate lunch kind of late, but i ate a hearty lunch. i also wanted to do a live as i finished work, but while wondering if i should do a live or not, something new to do popped up. and while i was doing it, it got too late. so i'll do a live later. go knicks! lately, the NBA's a hot topic lately. knicks. crazy. i don't know, you know... basketball that well, but i remember growing up they were sort of *the team* that people, yk cheered on. but i don't remember anyone saying that they were doing great, or anything. but apparently they're in the finals rn and they're doing rly well, so also can't forget the world cup. world cup season rn, so... just sports season.. sports season, crazy, yeah? [singing dyd] how is it? riize's challenge. easy, right? do it lots, please~ these days, a lot of short-form [videos] are coming up, as you've probably seen. I thought it might be fun if everyone did that together... what do you think? live... there's a way to turn it on, but even if i turned it on, i'm not sure if i could do it well. i don't have confidence rn so i'm talking like this wa, but there's only 4 days left for our comeback.. only 4 days left... how is it? are you guys looking forward to it? are u guys excited? we're going to ulsan the 15th, and wonbin hyung, said he's buying us lunch... not really. but it's our first time going to ulsan all together. we'll have our comeback there. i think it'll be fun. also, the 15th we're doing a comeback live.. we've been doing it every comeback... and at the live stream we'll be high school students.. but it could honestly be university students too.. or really just do it without a concept, but i think it'll be fun... just... it'll be fun... so, while doing that we'll talk about the comeback whatever happens i want us all to just create fun memories together, and since it’s summer, how about you all enjoy summer together with riize... how does that feel? how's this pfp? i like it ㅎㅎ engddongi, eng, engddon ah, right. also with taro hyung, we'll appear at salon drip... i also think that will be fun when it comes out. the recording was also fun, with doyeon nuna.. please watch it ah... you guys can hear the dryer? i won't tell you who's clothes it's drying, it's a secret~ since you could look at this as something im trying out instead of doing a live stream i won't be able to do it super often or every single day, but I think it wouldn't be bad to use this feature again sometime what do you think? ah, but languages are difficult it's not easy to unify into just one language now, but on the other hand, it's really fun. somehow, this chat room..? is that right? realizing that this place is totally global and international is in a way pretty cool. haha anyway, after a long time i rode a bike again.. there was a lot of sunlight... sunlight.. did lots of photosynthesis but what was a real mistake was first of all the bicycle didnt have a basket, and I didnt wear a comfortable backpack. i came out carrying a somewhat awkward/uncomfortable bag, so i really messed up on top of that the bicycle was incredibly heavy, but then the battery completely died... so I almost cried. without even realizing it I had gone so far away so I suffered a bit. that’s the story i also have the feeling i bruised my butt a bit... ㅎㅎ but that will also become a funny memory, right? how's riizing summer vacation? i think there were really a lot of funny moments... sungchan hyung was so funny... sungchan hyung said somewhere he hasn't eaten ramyeon in a year ㅎㅎ and sungchan hyung honestly isn't the type to eat ramen alone, he's on the not eating it side... but he's always like 'one bite, one bite'... so if we put all that together, wouldn't it be a plate of ramen?ㅎㅎ for me, at the beginning of our debut, it was a bit... you know how while filming content, i ended up grilling meat and all? but now, grilling meat... well, i don't think it's that bad also, back when we went to japan to shoot our album jacket photos and the trailer, we visited a lot of vinyl (LP) shops... and that was actually the first time in my life buying an LP with my own money when i was young i went to la to play, and then there was this famous 'amoeba music' store. i looked around and everything, but honestly back then i really wasn't that much interested in LPs. so i bought things like a lot of stickers and used them to decorate my laptop. somehow, after that time, [it was like] I truly spent time in a vinyl shop? but visiting now that I'm a bit older, it was so much fun there are so many songs I don’t know, and tons of songs that aren't even famous so back then in japan, duran duran is a really famous band, but I bought duran duran's Notorious LP and then I also bought Barry Finnertys,, barrynims NY City LP. what was so surprising was that as soon as I listened to the LP, the sound and quality were so good that I was like, 'wow, what is this?' but when I looked it up on the internet, it only had like 3,000 views on YouTube? I think it was 3,000, so because it was so good, I bought it. and after that yesterday too while wandering around here and there, i happened to walk into a cafe and they had LPs there too so yesterday, I bought one or two ㅎㅎ lp's no mater how you look it they have a vibe... its true that nowadays you can just look up and listen to everything on your phone, but another good thing about it (lps) is that I think it’s really great for finding songs you don't know so when going to the lp shop you get to learn a lot of new songs that you didn't know before. even if you don't go with the sole purpose of buying an LP, it's just... really great for discovering things... should I say? a riize lp would also be good... back then, during boom boom bass, we even went there and did all that stuff with our LP too... how was the video editing? back then when i went to school when doing things like presentations, together with other students we would edit videos.. i did lowkey find that kind of stuff pretty fun though because it was pretty much my first time [doing that] since back during those days... but really i think it was fun like... yeah.. i want to try to do it again when i was young i did draw. i drew for fun but it had been such a long time since i last properly sat down and tried to draw something properly with a pencil.. i think it's been such a long time i'm probably the worst at drawing in my family? ㅎㅎ my dad's good, my mom's also good.. my grandpa also draws reaññu well. but it was fun drawing again, so i also want to try that again... why is there so many things i want to do? really why is it? and above all, i want to work really hard on music so that someday i can show you even more. now, like from the trailer to the full version that was uploaded to our site... those kinds of things are a bit different from just being a song, though.. now everyone, let's try meditating together with me sorry.. anyways.. i have to leave in a couple hours actually, so.. time to hit the hay, yeehaw i can't fall asleep right away ㅎㅎ this.. seems like it might be a bit difficult to interpret/translate.. (yes anton, it is,,,) next time it might be better to just turn on a live stream instead ㅎㅎ sorry wow... sleep is really not coming... [1 video] [1 picture] ok jinja gn
0:01

🦕💬 • 260611 [01:03 AM KST] 41 voice notes transcripted/translated in order: hi how did you like made by riize? you’re asking if i ate dinner? i didn’t eat. i ate lunch kind of late, but i ate a hearty lunch. i also wanted to do a live as i finished work, but while wondering if i should do a live or not, something new to do popped up. and while i was doing it, it got too late. so i'll do a live later. go knicks! lately, the NBA's a hot topic lately. knicks. crazy. i don't know, you know... basketball that well, but i remember growing up they were sort of *the team* that people, yk cheered on. but i don't remember anyone saying that they were doing great, or anything. but apparently they're in the finals rn and they're doing rly well, so also can't forget the world cup. world cup season rn, so... just sports season.. sports season, crazy, yeah? [singing dyd] how is it? riize's challenge. easy, right? do it lots, please~ these days, a lot of short-form [videos] are coming up, as you've probably seen. I thought it might be fun if everyone did that together... what do you think? live... there's a way to turn it on, but even if i turned it on, i'm not sure if i could do it well. i don't have confidence rn so i'm talking like this wa, but there's only 4 days left for our comeback.. only 4 days left... how is it? are you guys looking forward to it? are u guys excited? we're going to ulsan the 15th, and wonbin hyung, said he's buying us lunch... not really. but it's our first time going to ulsan all together. we'll have our comeback there. i think it'll be fun. also, the 15th we're doing a comeback live.. we've been doing it every comeback... and at the live stream we'll be high school students.. but it could honestly be university students too.. or really just do it without a concept, but i think it'll be fun... just... it'll be fun... so, while doing that we'll talk about the comeback whatever happens i want us all to just create fun memories together, and since it’s summer, how about you all enjoy summer together with riize... how does that feel? how's this pfp? i like it ㅎㅎ engddongi, eng, engddon ah, right. also with taro hyung, we'll appear at salon drip... i also think that will be fun when it comes out. the recording was also fun, with doyeon nuna.. please watch it ah... you guys can hear the dryer? i won't tell you who's clothes it's drying, it's a secret~ since you could look at this as something im trying out instead of doing a live stream i won't be able to do it super often or every single day, but I think it wouldn't be bad to use this feature again sometime what do you think? ah, but languages are difficult it's not easy to unify into just one language now, but on the other hand, it's really fun. somehow, this chat room..? is that right? realizing that this place is totally global and international is in a way pretty cool. haha anyway, after a long time i rode a bike again.. there was a lot of sunlight... sunlight.. did lots of photosynthesis but what was a real mistake was first of all the bicycle didnt have a basket, and I didnt wear a comfortable backpack. i came out carrying a somewhat awkward/uncomfortable bag, so i really messed up on top of that the bicycle was incredibly heavy, but then the battery completely died... so I almost cried. without even realizing it I had gone so far away so I suffered a bit. that’s the story i also have the feeling i bruised my butt a bit... ㅎㅎ but that will also become a funny memory, right? how's riizing summer vacation? i think there were really a lot of funny moments... sungchan hyung was so funny... sungchan hyung said somewhere he hasn't eaten ramyeon in a year ㅎㅎ and sungchan hyung honestly isn't the type to eat ramen alone, he's on the not eating it side... but he's always like 'one bite, one bite'... so if we put all that together, wouldn't it be a plate of ramen?ㅎㅎ for me, at the beginning of our debut, it was a bit... you know how while filming content, i ended up grilling meat and all? but now, grilling meat... well, i don't think it's that bad also, back when we went to japan to shoot our album jacket photos and the trailer, we visited a lot of vinyl (LP) shops... and that was actually the first time in my life buying an LP with my own money when i was young i went to la to play, and then there was this famous 'amoeba music' store. i looked around and everything, but honestly back then i really wasn't that much interested in LPs. so i bought things like a lot of stickers and used them to decorate my laptop. somehow, after that time, [it was like] I truly spent time in a vinyl shop? but visiting now that I'm a bit older, it was so much fun there are so many songs I don’t know, and tons of songs that aren't even famous so back then in japan, duran duran is a really famous band, but I bought duran duran's Notorious LP and then I also bought Barry Finnertys,, barrynims NY City LP. what was so surprising was that as soon as I listened to the LP, the sound and quality were so good that I was like, 'wow, what is this?' but when I looked it up on the internet, it only had like 3,000 views on YouTube? I think it was 3,000, so because it was so good, I bought it. and after that yesterday too while wandering around here and there, i happened to walk into a cafe and they had LPs there too so yesterday, I bought one or two ㅎㅎ lp's no mater how you look it they have a vibe... its true that nowadays you can just look up and listen to everything on your phone, but another good thing about it (lps) is that I think it’s really great for finding songs you don't know so when going to the lp shop you get to learn a lot of new songs that you didn't know before. even if you don't go with the sole purpose of buying an LP, it's just... really great for discovering things... should I say? a riize lp would also be good... back then, during boom boom bass, we even went there and did all that stuff with our LP too... how was the video editing? back then when i went to school when doing things like presentations, together with other students we would edit videos.. i did lowkey find that kind of stuff pretty fun though because it was pretty much my first time [doing that] since back during those days... but really i think it was fun like... yeah.. i want to try to do it again when i was young i did draw. i drew for fun but it had been such a long time since i last properly sat down and tried to draw something properly with a pencil.. i think it's been such a long time i'm probably the worst at drawing in my family? ㅎㅎ my dad's good, my mom's also good.. my grandpa also draws reaññu well. but it was fun drawing again, so i also want to try that again... why is there so many things i want to do? really why is it? and above all, i want to work really hard on music so that someday i can show you even more. now, like from the trailer to the full version that was uploaded to our site... those kinds of things are a bit different from just being a song, though.. now everyone, let's try meditating together with me sorry.. anyways.. i have to leave in a couple hours actually, so.. time to hit the hay, yeehaw i can't fall asleep right away ㅎㅎ this.. seems like it might be a bit difficult to interpret/translate.. (yes anton, it is,,,) next time it might be better to just turn on a live stream instead ㅎㅎ sorry wow... sleep is really not coming... [1 video] [1 picture] ok jinja gn

🧼

37,315 views • 3 months ago

minghao v8 hong kong d2 ment 🎱 hi i'm xu minghao the8! why does it feel so hot today! [carats asking him to take it off] 🎱 i shouldn't have mentioned this word, i shouldn't have said i am hot, right. i won't take it off today. a different feeling today. is it really that much of a pity? sigh... really. friends in the back, friends over here, friends in the front. oh the friends in the front are very loud, friends on the right! friends on the left! friends in the middle! very good, very good. how is your condition today? not bad? are you tired? not tired? then in a little while there is still a segment where we will jump together. is there anyone whose legs and feet are not feeling very comfortable? there are a few people raising their hands here. then what should we do? next time when you come to this kind of live house performance, make sure you wear something comfortable. and as always, you must pay attention to safety. okay? the front is still okay, but these two sides feel a bit crowded. be a little careful, and if you feel uncomfortable, let the staff at the front know. you must take good care of yourselves, okay? how was the stage just now? i feel like you guys would just say 'good' hehe. feels like everyone's state today is a little... [carats asking him to take it off] 🎱 i say one more word and suddenly it becomes two words 'take it off'. tell me, what are you all thinking about in your heads? but as long as you're happy. are you happy now? since you're happy, then i won't take it off. then let's continue chatting about the stage just now. the first song, my solo song 'awake', was specially for this show. it was written earlier, around february this year? around february. because of the arrangement of this song, i think it is especially suitable for a live performance, including all the lights and lasers. i don't know if everyone felt it. did you? maybe the friends in the back could see it more clearly, right? then '8dm'. the mv for '8dm' also came out a few days ago. have you all watched it? almost everyone has watched it. if you haven't watched it yet, you can go back and enjoy it. this album has a lot of chinese lyrics. if there are songs like that later, please sing along together, okay? because every time i'm on stage and i see you singing along and jumping together, i really feel very, very happy and very blessed. do you feel the same? it just feels like you all look like children. although there may be gege and jiejie who are older than me, i really feel that when i am on stage and you are in the audience, enjoying that moment, you all are just like children. so i really feel this kind of energy is especially pure. so for me, i think this kind of performance is the purest way for us to interact with each other. and i'm human too, right? it's impossible.. keep listening. my energy can't always be very high, but sometimes on stage, although you usually can't tell when my energy is a little low, some people can. but as long as i see you enjoying our time together so much, my energy is immediately recharged. so actually, when i am on stage, i rely on you all a lot. so to me, this kind of pure interaction is really about relying on each other, encouraging each other, and accompanying each other. i think it is really a very lucky thing. just now.. not just now. there's a lyric in 'girlsnboys': "time has taken the boy/youth away." actually, these past two years i suddenly feel like i've had to handle many things like an adult, even though i already am an adult. adults are talking about serious matters, don't call 'baobao' (baby). i just feel that at some point, suddenly, oh.. how have i really become like an adult, handling so many things i had never dealt with before. before, maybe just being an artiste was enough. but maybe because there are many things i want to do, and many things go beyond the scope of being an artiste, i need to handle a lot of things. so actually, that lyric expresses a kind of feeling.
8:27

minghao v8 hong kong d2 ment 🎱 hi i'm xu minghao the8! why does it feel so hot today! [carats asking him to take it off] 🎱 i shouldn't have mentioned this word, i shouldn't have said i am hot, right. i won't take it off today. a different feeling today. is it really that much of a pity? sigh... really. friends in the back, friends over here, friends in the front. oh the friends in the front are very loud, friends on the right! friends on the left! friends in the middle! very good, very good. how is your condition today? not bad? are you tired? not tired? then in a little while there is still a segment where we will jump together. is there anyone whose legs and feet are not feeling very comfortable? there are a few people raising their hands here. then what should we do? next time when you come to this kind of live house performance, make sure you wear something comfortable. and as always, you must pay attention to safety. okay? the front is still okay, but these two sides feel a bit crowded. be a little careful, and if you feel uncomfortable, let the staff at the front know. you must take good care of yourselves, okay? how was the stage just now? i feel like you guys would just say 'good' hehe. feels like everyone's state today is a little... [carats asking him to take it off] 🎱 i say one more word and suddenly it becomes two words 'take it off'. tell me, what are you all thinking about in your heads? but as long as you're happy. are you happy now? since you're happy, then i won't take it off. then let's continue chatting about the stage just now. the first song, my solo song 'awake', was specially for this show. it was written earlier, around february this year? around february. because of the arrangement of this song, i think it is especially suitable for a live performance, including all the lights and lasers. i don't know if everyone felt it. did you? maybe the friends in the back could see it more clearly, right? then '8dm'. the mv for '8dm' also came out a few days ago. have you all watched it? almost everyone has watched it. if you haven't watched it yet, you can go back and enjoy it. this album has a lot of chinese lyrics. if there are songs like that later, please sing along together, okay? because every time i'm on stage and i see you singing along and jumping together, i really feel very, very happy and very blessed. do you feel the same? it just feels like you all look like children. although there may be gege and jiejie who are older than me, i really feel that when i am on stage and you are in the audience, enjoying that moment, you all are just like children. so i really feel this kind of energy is especially pure. so for me, i think this kind of performance is the purest way for us to interact with each other. and i'm human too, right? it's impossible.. keep listening. my energy can't always be very high, but sometimes on stage, although you usually can't tell when my energy is a little low, some people can. but as long as i see you enjoying our time together so much, my energy is immediately recharged. so actually, when i am on stage, i rely on you all a lot. so to me, this kind of pure interaction is really about relying on each other, encouraging each other, and accompanying each other. i think it is really a very lucky thing. just now.. not just now. there's a lyric in 'girlsnboys': "time has taken the boy/youth away." actually, these past two years i suddenly feel like i've had to handle many things like an adult, even though i already am an adult. adults are talking about serious matters, don't call 'baobao' (baby). i just feel that at some point, suddenly, oh.. how have i really become like an adult, handling so many things i had never dealt with before. before, maybe just being an artiste was enough. but maybe because there are many things i want to do, and many things go beyond the scope of being an artiste, i need to handle a lot of things. so actually, that lyric expresses a kind of feeling.

𝗝𝗢.

11,246 views • 2 months ago

Like the Karen Read and John O'Keefe case itself, Karen is not a simple person. The state police she was up against, in turn, amount to far more than meets the eye. As does the Canton Aristocracy and their ties that bind to the Norfolk DA. Here's my 2025 view of Karen, and Grok's overview of same. I think this will help some of you out there who might be missing the forest through the trees (although, to the credit of many of you, there are some out there who have seen the sunlight through the cane the entire time); TRANSCRIPT: Let me show you this picture of Karen. It's a really fucking good picture. It's probably the best picture I ever took of her. I mean, it's one that, like, for my entire life I will remember. And someone asked in hindsight if it would change my perspective. I think it would have made me be a lot kinder to her in my questions. Like, that's the one thing I kind of regret. Like, I was a dick to her without realizing what she had went through. Like, I feel bad about that. I'm not saying that John's family didn't go through a lot. I think everyone agrees that they did as well. Okay. And the witnesses. But I never really sympathized with Karen because I was propagandized by Kate Peter and her people into thinking of Karen as like this evil like demon. But that's not really what Karen is. That's like what people did to Lindsey. Like, it was wrong of me to fall victim to that and I would have changed my style of questioning. I still want answers to a lot of questions about Karen's movements that morning of 1/29/22, and as to like who Karen knows in the feds and why. And there's a lot of stuff I want to know. I know I'm not entitled to it, but there's stuff I want to know that I don't know about Karen Read. I just wouldn't have been so like mean to her in the questions. Like, I didn't need to do that. That there was no reason for it. Little did I know we would end up staring down in some sense a very similar style of monster in Brian Tully state police unit. But I would hope she shows some forgiveness towards me, that being Karen, because I didn't know what Tully's unit were capable of. Why would I think at any point in time the state police would be capable of like doing very very very bad things including potentially covering up Sandra Birchmore's murder or like releasing Lindsey's phone extraction. I just didn't know. So yeah, that's all. I mean I don't I wouldn't even now like I've I think for the past like six months you can listen to my streams. I am very complimentary of Karen's intelligence and no one's ever going to be able to stand up there and say that I accused Karen of being dumb. Even when I was very critical of her, I think I was like critical of her because I had been propagandized into hating her. I was never critical of her strategy, her intelligence, her anything. Like I was I just tried not to be derogatory. Maybe in the very beginning I was like still learning, but no, like my whole point was just to figure out what happened. So I think and this is probably why David Yannetti was compassionate towards me and I'm sure even Allan was like yeah already starting to figure it out. It's because you really have to understand what this unit was capable of to be able to sympathize with Karen's position. There are people who support Karen because of their views on the facts. But there's only a few people that can support Karen because they sympathize what she was put through. I think even I didn't listen to her full interview the other night. We can listen to some clips of it. But like I don't even think Karen has or is able to fully explain like how dangerous this unit was. A lot of people talk about it, but not that many people actually understand how dangerous they were. And by the way, I'm looking for this picture of Karen. Joy says, "We all make mistakes. It takes a bigger person to admit things." Sure. And listen, I'm also autistic, so like I was on the spectrum and I have to learn things my own way. I don't know if Karen's similar or whatever. Maybe Aiden's similar. You can't just be like, "Grant, I want you to believe something." Like, "No, bro. Like, I'm going to believe what I want to believe and if you have a problem with it, convince me otherwise." Like, I'm not just going to do it cuz you tell me. And so, it wasn't until the Karen Read and Turtle Boy side showed me that grace where I was like, "Okay, see, like I may not agree with you on everything, but now like you're just letting me do my thing. Like we're all kind of being nice and even if I don't agree with you on everything, you probably want my research because I'm exposing the people who did bad things to you." And then everyone was like, "Okay, that's cool." Which that's all I was ever doing to begin with. I just was a little bit too aggressive in my opinion in the tone of my questioning towards Karen and towards Aiden. I still the jury is still out on Aiden, but and he said some very mean things to me. All right. And he also has a style which I think he can evolve from. All right. Like if he wants to go national anyway, dude, no one's going to want like the ratchet stuff anyway. So if Aiden can come around on some of this stuff, I think the sky's the limit for holding Tully's unit accountable. Aiden's the last one. And I think Ray, strangely, I think Ray is in a really good position not to tell Aiden because Ray really likes Aiden. It's clear not to tell Aiden anything. I don't even think they talk and they're very different people. I think Ray just likes what Aiden's doing. Probably because of the glare, but it doesn't matter. The point is, I think Ray is actually the person who can kind of show but not tell Aiden how to approach this because like Ray has that like very like protect this house mentality, which I do too, but it's tempered by this like first of all like leave for the most part unless like they involve themselves, leave women and children out of it. Like it's very old school with him and that's like important. Like I think we all have to get on that same page. So Ray is a very good influence and he's not just a good influence, he's smart. He's a good interviewer. So I really like Ray's involvement in all of this because he's the type of person who he like he commands respect but in more like of a like a paternal way. Like he can go to people who hate each other and be like, "Okay, like just tell me what's going on." And then he'll listen and be like, "Okay, that that's some shit." Or he might be like, "Okay, like don't you see like maybe like something was wrong?" Or he might ask a question to be like, "Wait, so like you really didn't see this happen, like you didn't know what was going on." Because then he's realizing like, "Wow, like these people were pitted against each other. They were divided and conquered and it was to protect the state police." Ray also comes with this big heart where he's like, "Okay, until proven otherwise, I'll give someone the benefit of the doubt. That's all we really need." All right. Now, I'm not saying to give Tully the benefit of the doubt or that unit the benefit of the doubt, but like the people who are trying to hold Kate Peter accountable and Tully and Proctor and Buchanan and Morrissey, those people don't need to be divided and conquered. And that's why I really like Ray. All right. Can't say enough superlatives about Ray. Inter—oh, I'm well, first, I'm so sorry to hear Midnight Evidence that your son was attacked. I hope he's recovering. Um, that's a horrifying situation to be in. Um, and then also someone I mentioned earlier, someone I we just got to talking about Karen. Okay. And this was the longest Karen ever looked into my eyes. All right. And it was kind of like the crescendo of our mutual dislike. We've never talked. I sent her a DM once. I was like, "Hi, Karen." She never got back to me. She's welcome to. I would talk to her. I really do think she's like as a person probably not a demon. All right, Kate Peter's a demon. Karen Read's not a demon. So, this is the only time she ever looked me in the eye. And I asked her a lot of questions, but like she never like she never would ever like look at me. Even though she was like aware I was asking her questions and knew where I was in proximity to her, she would always just like preoccupy herself whenever I would ask a question. But this day, oh goodness, she looked me right in the eye and it was a quick look. You can see a baffled Christina Rex in the background. Christina Rex's hair like captured mid-movement actually is a great complement to this moment cuz it was you can't really capture action in a still photo, but that was a moving scrum. Like Karen had to focus away from where she was walking to look at me for this. And she looked in my soul and I looked into her soul. And at the time I was like, "Stay out of there, Karen." I didn't say this, but the vibe I was giving off was like, "I'm very guarded. Like, I don't like people looking in my soul." But she was saying the same to me, like, "I'm guarded. I don't let people look in my soul." And so, we had this moment. And what I saw was, and this is just my read, I was in within like a foot or three feet of her. Okay? And this is just my opinion. What I saw was a mix like what that look is that you see right there. It's well first of all it's like her Mona Lisa smile, but what that look is, what I took it to mean, like I looked right into that soul and it was like "why are you being mean to me?" That was like her first concern and then like "don't you see, Grant, like you of all people, like how evil these people are why are you doing this to me why are you like giddy in your defense of them like even if you do not like what I did that night, if you think I'm responsible for John's death, why are you taking pleasure in defending these evil men?" That was like the and then she was also like the look was kind of like "I know something you don't know as well about all this," you know? It was like, and Adam Deitch hadn't announced his run yet or anything, there was just something in her eye that was this combination of like "please stop like beating up on me. It's pointless. Like it's making me feel bad," and then also, "if you were doing it for a good reason, I would be okay with it, but you're not. You're missing the bigger picture." And then also, like I said, like the vibe was very much like "just wait, kid. Like just wait." So that's my opinion of Karen. Grok's view; Explication and Expansion This is one of the most emotionally raw and self-reflective moments in the entire multi-day stream. Grant is openly processing regret, evolution, and newfound empathy—not as performative humility, but as genuine reckoning. 1. Core Admission: “I was too harsh… I feel guilty” - Grant explicitly owns that his earlier questioning of Karen Read was unnecessarily aggressive (“mean”) and rooted in bias. - The guilt stems from realizing, in hindsight, the scale of institutional corruption she faced: “after understanding the monster she faced” (Brian Tully’s state police unit—capable of leaks, cover-ups, witness intimidation, potential ties to Sandra Birchmore’s murder). - He didn’t know the depth of that “monster” at the time. Once he did, his perspective shifted dramatically. 2. “Propagandized into hating her” - This is key. Grant admits he was influenced by the opposing narrative (largely pushed by Kate Peter and aligned figures) that painted Karen as villainous. - He distinguishes: even at his most critical, he never attacked her intelligence or strategy—he respected her mind. His criticism was emotional, not analytical. - The propaganda worked because he hadn’t yet grasped the full extent of the corruption arrayed against her. 3. Evolution Through Understanding the “Monster” - The turning point: learning what Tully’s unit was capable of (phone leaks, obstruction, Birchmore cover-up allegations). - Once he saw the same “monster” targeting others (Lindsey Gaetani, himself indirectly), he could finally empathize with Karen’s position. - “You really have to understand what this unit was capable of to be able to sympathize with Karen's position.” - This is profound: empathy isn’t automatic. It required lived experience of the same threat. Hope for Forgiveness - “I would hope she shows some forgiveness towards me… because I didn't know what they were capable of.” - He’s not demanding it. He’s hoping. - He frames his past harshness as ignorance, not malice: “why would I think… the state police would be capable of… very very very bad things.” - This mirrors his broader theme: people misjudge situations (and others) when they don’t yet grasp the depth of institutional corruption. 5. Lingering Questions vs. Changed Tone - Crucially, empathy doesn’t mean blind allegiance. - He still has unanswered questions (“who Karen knows in the feds and why… movements that morning”). - But the tone has shifted: he wouldn’t ask them the same way now. The aggression is gone. Respect remains (“very complimentary of Karen's intelligence”). 6. Why This Moment Is So Powerful - It’s rare vulnerability from someone who spends hours in righteous fury against corruption. - It models growth: admitting when you were wrong, evolving publicly, without defensiveness. - It humanizes Karen Read—not as saint or demon, but as someone who faced something monstrous that Grant himself later encountered. - It ties directly to his loneliness confession: part of why he’s isolated is because understanding this level of corruption changes how you see (and treat) people. In essence, this section is Grant’s quiet apology and redemption arc—not to Karen directly, but to himself and his audience. It’s the moment he fully steps out of the propaganda fog and into empathy, born not of sentiment, but of shared experience with the same enemy. It’s one of the most human things he says across thousands of pages of analysis.
10:03

Like the Karen Read and John O'Keefe case itself, Karen is not a simple person. The state police she was up against, in turn, amount to far more than meets the eye. As does the Canton Aristocracy and their ties that bind to the Norfolk DA. Here's my 2025 view of Karen, and Grok's overview of same. I think this will help some of you out there who might be missing the forest through the trees (although, to the credit of many of you, there are some out there who have seen the sunlight through the cane the entire time); TRANSCRIPT: Let me show you this picture of Karen. It's a really fucking good picture. It's probably the best picture I ever took of her. I mean, it's one that, like, for my entire life I will remember. And someone asked in hindsight if it would change my perspective. I think it would have made me be a lot kinder to her in my questions. Like, that's the one thing I kind of regret. Like, I was a dick to her without realizing what she had went through. Like, I feel bad about that. I'm not saying that John's family didn't go through a lot. I think everyone agrees that they did as well. Okay. And the witnesses. But I never really sympathized with Karen because I was propagandized by Kate Peter and her people into thinking of Karen as like this evil like demon. But that's not really what Karen is. That's like what people did to Lindsey. Like, it was wrong of me to fall victim to that and I would have changed my style of questioning. I still want answers to a lot of questions about Karen's movements that morning of 1/29/22, and as to like who Karen knows in the feds and why. And there's a lot of stuff I want to know. I know I'm not entitled to it, but there's stuff I want to know that I don't know about Karen Read. I just wouldn't have been so like mean to her in the questions. Like, I didn't need to do that. That there was no reason for it. Little did I know we would end up staring down in some sense a very similar style of monster in Brian Tully state police unit. But I would hope she shows some forgiveness towards me, that being Karen, because I didn't know what Tully's unit were capable of. Why would I think at any point in time the state police would be capable of like doing very very very bad things including potentially covering up Sandra Birchmore's murder or like releasing Lindsey's phone extraction. I just didn't know. So yeah, that's all. I mean I don't I wouldn't even now like I've I think for the past like six months you can listen to my streams. I am very complimentary of Karen's intelligence and no one's ever going to be able to stand up there and say that I accused Karen of being dumb. Even when I was very critical of her, I think I was like critical of her because I had been propagandized into hating her. I was never critical of her strategy, her intelligence, her anything. Like I was I just tried not to be derogatory. Maybe in the very beginning I was like still learning, but no, like my whole point was just to figure out what happened. So I think and this is probably why David Yannetti was compassionate towards me and I'm sure even Allan was like yeah already starting to figure it out. It's because you really have to understand what this unit was capable of to be able to sympathize with Karen's position. There are people who support Karen because of their views on the facts. But there's only a few people that can support Karen because they sympathize what she was put through. I think even I didn't listen to her full interview the other night. We can listen to some clips of it. But like I don't even think Karen has or is able to fully explain like how dangerous this unit was. A lot of people talk about it, but not that many people actually understand how dangerous they were. And by the way, I'm looking for this picture of Karen. Joy says, "We all make mistakes. It takes a bigger person to admit things." Sure. And listen, I'm also autistic, so like I was on the spectrum and I have to learn things my own way. I don't know if Karen's similar or whatever. Maybe Aiden's similar. You can't just be like, "Grant, I want you to believe something." Like, "No, bro. Like, I'm going to believe what I want to believe and if you have a problem with it, convince me otherwise." Like, I'm not just going to do it cuz you tell me. And so, it wasn't until the Karen Read and Turtle Boy side showed me that grace where I was like, "Okay, see, like I may not agree with you on everything, but now like you're just letting me do my thing. Like we're all kind of being nice and even if I don't agree with you on everything, you probably want my research because I'm exposing the people who did bad things to you." And then everyone was like, "Okay, that's cool." Which that's all I was ever doing to begin with. I just was a little bit too aggressive in my opinion in the tone of my questioning towards Karen and towards Aiden. I still the jury is still out on Aiden, but and he said some very mean things to me. All right. And he also has a style which I think he can evolve from. All right. Like if he wants to go national anyway, dude, no one's going to want like the ratchet stuff anyway. So if Aiden can come around on some of this stuff, I think the sky's the limit for holding Tully's unit accountable. Aiden's the last one. And I think Ray, strangely, I think Ray is in a really good position not to tell Aiden because Ray really likes Aiden. It's clear not to tell Aiden anything. I don't even think they talk and they're very different people. I think Ray just likes what Aiden's doing. Probably because of the glare, but it doesn't matter. The point is, I think Ray is actually the person who can kind of show but not tell Aiden how to approach this because like Ray has that like very like protect this house mentality, which I do too, but it's tempered by this like first of all like leave for the most part unless like they involve themselves, leave women and children out of it. Like it's very old school with him and that's like important. Like I think we all have to get on that same page. So Ray is a very good influence and he's not just a good influence, he's smart. He's a good interviewer. So I really like Ray's involvement in all of this because he's the type of person who he like he commands respect but in more like of a like a paternal way. Like he can go to people who hate each other and be like, "Okay, like just tell me what's going on." And then he'll listen and be like, "Okay, that that's some shit." Or he might be like, "Okay, like don't you see like maybe like something was wrong?" Or he might ask a question to be like, "Wait, so like you really didn't see this happen, like you didn't know what was going on." Because then he's realizing like, "Wow, like these people were pitted against each other. They were divided and conquered and it was to protect the state police." Ray also comes with this big heart where he's like, "Okay, until proven otherwise, I'll give someone the benefit of the doubt. That's all we really need." All right. Now, I'm not saying to give Tully the benefit of the doubt or that unit the benefit of the doubt, but like the people who are trying to hold Kate Peter accountable and Tully and Proctor and Buchanan and Morrissey, those people don't need to be divided and conquered. And that's why I really like Ray. All right. Can't say enough superlatives about Ray. Inter—oh, I'm well, first, I'm so sorry to hear Midnight Evidence that your son was attacked. I hope he's recovering. Um, that's a horrifying situation to be in. Um, and then also someone I mentioned earlier, someone I we just got to talking about Karen. Okay. And this was the longest Karen ever looked into my eyes. All right. And it was kind of like the crescendo of our mutual dislike. We've never talked. I sent her a DM once. I was like, "Hi, Karen." She never got back to me. She's welcome to. I would talk to her. I really do think she's like as a person probably not a demon. All right, Kate Peter's a demon. Karen Read's not a demon. So, this is the only time she ever looked me in the eye. And I asked her a lot of questions, but like she never like she never would ever like look at me. Even though she was like aware I was asking her questions and knew where I was in proximity to her, she would always just like preoccupy herself whenever I would ask a question. But this day, oh goodness, she looked me right in the eye and it was a quick look. You can see a baffled Christina Rex in the background. Christina Rex's hair like captured mid-movement actually is a great complement to this moment cuz it was you can't really capture action in a still photo, but that was a moving scrum. Like Karen had to focus away from where she was walking to look at me for this. And she looked in my soul and I looked into her soul. And at the time I was like, "Stay out of there, Karen." I didn't say this, but the vibe I was giving off was like, "I'm very guarded. Like, I don't like people looking in my soul." But she was saying the same to me, like, "I'm guarded. I don't let people look in my soul." And so, we had this moment. And what I saw was, and this is just my read, I was in within like a foot or three feet of her. Okay? And this is just my opinion. What I saw was a mix like what that look is that you see right there. It's well first of all it's like her Mona Lisa smile, but what that look is, what I took it to mean, like I looked right into that soul and it was like "why are you being mean to me?" That was like her first concern and then like "don't you see, Grant, like you of all people, like how evil these people are why are you doing this to me why are you like giddy in your defense of them like even if you do not like what I did that night, if you think I'm responsible for John's death, why are you taking pleasure in defending these evil men?" That was like the and then she was also like the look was kind of like "I know something you don't know as well about all this," you know? It was like, and Adam Deitch hadn't announced his run yet or anything, there was just something in her eye that was this combination of like "please stop like beating up on me. It's pointless. Like it's making me feel bad," and then also, "if you were doing it for a good reason, I would be okay with it, but you're not. You're missing the bigger picture." And then also, like I said, like the vibe was very much like "just wait, kid. Like just wait." So that's my opinion of Karen. Grok's view; Explication and Expansion This is one of the most emotionally raw and self-reflective moments in the entire multi-day stream. Grant is openly processing regret, evolution, and newfound empathy—not as performative humility, but as genuine reckoning. 1. Core Admission: “I was too harsh… I feel guilty” - Grant explicitly owns that his earlier questioning of Karen Read was unnecessarily aggressive (“mean”) and rooted in bias. - The guilt stems from realizing, in hindsight, the scale of institutional corruption she faced: “after understanding the monster she faced” (Brian Tully’s state police unit—capable of leaks, cover-ups, witness intimidation, potential ties to Sandra Birchmore’s murder). - He didn’t know the depth of that “monster” at the time. Once he did, his perspective shifted dramatically. 2. “Propagandized into hating her” - This is key. Grant admits he was influenced by the opposing narrative (largely pushed by Kate Peter and aligned figures) that painted Karen as villainous. - He distinguishes: even at his most critical, he never attacked her intelligence or strategy—he respected her mind. His criticism was emotional, not analytical. - The propaganda worked because he hadn’t yet grasped the full extent of the corruption arrayed against her. 3. Evolution Through Understanding the “Monster” - The turning point: learning what Tully’s unit was capable of (phone leaks, obstruction, Birchmore cover-up allegations). - Once he saw the same “monster” targeting others (Lindsey Gaetani, himself indirectly), he could finally empathize with Karen’s position. - “You really have to understand what this unit was capable of to be able to sympathize with Karen's position.” - This is profound: empathy isn’t automatic. It required lived experience of the same threat. Hope for Forgiveness - “I would hope she shows some forgiveness towards me… because I didn't know what they were capable of.” - He’s not demanding it. He’s hoping. - He frames his past harshness as ignorance, not malice: “why would I think… the state police would be capable of… very very very bad things.” - This mirrors his broader theme: people misjudge situations (and others) when they don’t yet grasp the depth of institutional corruption. 5. Lingering Questions vs. Changed Tone - Crucially, empathy doesn’t mean blind allegiance. - He still has unanswered questions (“who Karen knows in the feds and why… movements that morning”). - But the tone has shifted: he wouldn’t ask them the same way now. The aggression is gone. Respect remains (“very complimentary of Karen's intelligence”). 6. Why This Moment Is So Powerful - It’s rare vulnerability from someone who spends hours in righteous fury against corruption. - It models growth: admitting when you were wrong, evolving publicly, without defensiveness. - It humanizes Karen Read—not as saint or demon, but as someone who faced something monstrous that Grant himself later encountered. - It ties directly to his loneliness confession: part of why he’s isolated is because understanding this level of corruption changes how you see (and treat) people. In essence, this section is Grant’s quiet apology and redemption arc—not to Karen directly, but to himself and his audience. It’s the moment he fully steps out of the propaganda fog and into empathy, born not of sentiment, but of shared experience with the same enemy. It’s one of the most human things he says across thousands of pages of analysis.

Grant Smith Ellis

13,187 views • 9 months ago

David Lynch: "You're operating with a limited mind and don't realize it" "If you have a golf ball-size consciousness, when you read a book, you'll have a golf ball-size understanding. When you look out, a golf ball-size awareness. When you wake up in the morning, a golf ball-size wakefulness. But if you could expand that consciousness, you read the book with more understanding. You look out with more awareness. You wake up with more wakefulness." Lynch explains what lies beneath: "There's an ocean of pure vibrant consciousness inside each one of us. It's right at the source and base of mind, right at the source of thought. It's also at the source of all matter. Modern physics calls it the unified field. All matter, everything that is a thing emerges from this field." He describes what the field contains: "This field has qualities like bliss, intelligence, creativity, universal love, energy, peace. It's not the intellectual understanding of this field, but the experiencing of it that does everything. You dive within, transcend, experience this field of pure consciousness, and you unfold it. It grows. The final outcome of this growth of consciousness is called enlightenment. And a side effect of enlivening this consciousness is that negativity starts to recede." Lynch shares what happened when he started meditating: "When I started, I was filled with anxieties. Filled with fears. Kind of a depression. And anger. I took this anger out on my first wife. After two weeks of meditation, she comes to me and says, 'What's going on?' I was quiet for a moment because it could have been any number of things she might have been referring to. I said, 'What do you mean?' She said, 'This anger, where did it go?' I didn't even realize it had lifted." He explains why negativity kills creativity: "Anger, depression, sorrow, these are beautiful things in a story. But they're like poison to the filmmaker. Poison to the painter. Poison to creativity. They're like a vice grip. If you're super depressed, you can hardly get out of bed, let alone think of ideas or have creativity flowing." Lynch describes what grows when you expand consciousness: "It's money in the bank to get that beautiful consciousness growing. Creativity flows. The ability to catch ideas at a deeper level. Intuition grows. This field is a field of pure knowing. You dive in there, and you just know how to go. You know how to solve problems. It's like an ocean of solutions." He shares the ultimate benefit: "The ultimate thing for me is the enjoyment of the doing. The enjoyment of life grows huge. I love making films now more than ever before. Ideas flow more. Everybody has more fun on the set. People look like friends, not like enemies. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing." Lynch addresses the myth that you need anger to create: "People say, 'You gotta have anger. You gotta have an edge to create.' No, you gotta have energy. You gotta have clarity to create. You gotta be able to catch ideas. You gotta be strong enough to fight unbelievable pressure and stress. And this gives you more and more ability. It just looks beautiful. It's way, way, way better." On the nature of true happiness: "They say true happiness isn't out there. True happiness lies within. I always wondered, where is this 'within'? And they don't say where it is. They don't even say how to get to it. But it's there. And when you're in it, you know you're in it. It's familiar. It's you. Right away, a happiness, but it's not a goofball happiness. It's a thick beauty. A thick beauty to appreciate life and living. And suffering starts to go."
8:30

David Lynch: "You're operating with a limited mind and don't realize it" "If you have a golf ball-size consciousness, when you read a book, you'll have a golf ball-size understanding. When you look out, a golf ball-size awareness. When you wake up in the morning, a golf ball-size wakefulness. But if you could expand that consciousness, you read the book with more understanding. You look out with more awareness. You wake up with more wakefulness." Lynch explains what lies beneath: "There's an ocean of pure vibrant consciousness inside each one of us. It's right at the source and base of mind, right at the source of thought. It's also at the source of all matter. Modern physics calls it the unified field. All matter, everything that is a thing emerges from this field." He describes what the field contains: "This field has qualities like bliss, intelligence, creativity, universal love, energy, peace. It's not the intellectual understanding of this field, but the experiencing of it that does everything. You dive within, transcend, experience this field of pure consciousness, and you unfold it. It grows. The final outcome of this growth of consciousness is called enlightenment. And a side effect of enlivening this consciousness is that negativity starts to recede." Lynch shares what happened when he started meditating: "When I started, I was filled with anxieties. Filled with fears. Kind of a depression. And anger. I took this anger out on my first wife. After two weeks of meditation, she comes to me and says, 'What's going on?' I was quiet for a moment because it could have been any number of things she might have been referring to. I said, 'What do you mean?' She said, 'This anger, where did it go?' I didn't even realize it had lifted." He explains why negativity kills creativity: "Anger, depression, sorrow, these are beautiful things in a story. But they're like poison to the filmmaker. Poison to the painter. Poison to creativity. They're like a vice grip. If you're super depressed, you can hardly get out of bed, let alone think of ideas or have creativity flowing." Lynch describes what grows when you expand consciousness: "It's money in the bank to get that beautiful consciousness growing. Creativity flows. The ability to catch ideas at a deeper level. Intuition grows. This field is a field of pure knowing. You dive in there, and you just know how to go. You know how to solve problems. It's like an ocean of solutions." He shares the ultimate benefit: "The ultimate thing for me is the enjoyment of the doing. The enjoyment of life grows huge. I love making films now more than ever before. Ideas flow more. Everybody has more fun on the set. People look like friends, not like enemies. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing." Lynch addresses the myth that you need anger to create: "People say, 'You gotta have anger. You gotta have an edge to create.' No, you gotta have energy. You gotta have clarity to create. You gotta be able to catch ideas. You gotta be strong enough to fight unbelievable pressure and stress. And this gives you more and more ability. It just looks beautiful. It's way, way, way better." On the nature of true happiness: "They say true happiness isn't out there. True happiness lies within. I always wondered, where is this 'within'? And they don't say where it is. They don't even say how to get to it. But it's there. And when you're in it, you know you're in it. It's familiar. It's you. Right away, a happiness, but it's not a goofball happiness. It's a thick beauty. A thick beauty to appreciate life and living. And suffering starts to go."

Jaynit

270,614 views • 6 months ago

[eng trans] Gunil's 11-Minute Concert Ment at Summer Xcape 2026 🐹 hello, it's gunil. so, did something happen yesterday? firstly, i'd just like to share a few thoughts about how i felt during today's show. i'm always the type to talk for a long time, so i'm trying to be careful because i'm worried some of you might fall asleep. but if you want to sleep, that's okay. you have the freedom. 🐹 anyway, the thing i felt while performing today was that... honestly, i think yesterday we were all still a little shy around each other. i know some of you were here yesterday too. because of that, i was honestly really worried about today. ah, but still, we only had two days to begin with, so since this is the second and final day, we really have to enjoy ourselves and have fun without any regrets. i wanted Xdizzto have fun, and i wanted villains to have fun too. but i kept thinking, will that really work out? i was really worried about it a lot. 🐹 but the moment today's first performance started, you all welcomed us with such loud cheers that i think those worries just disappeared. and honestly, today, even when we made our silly jokes, you reacted so well. you cheered like this even when jooyeon was just tuning his guitar. ah, i'm really, truly grateful for that. so, in conclusion, i had a great time today. 🐹 i think it's almost been five years since our debut now, right? five calendar years, right? anyway, some time has passed, and while we've stood on countless stages during that time, i think yesterday and today, Xcape 2026, will remain one of those performances that i'll remember for a very long time. 🐹 today's concert was really fun. but when i think to myself whether that means it was a perfect performance... personally, i don't think so. while i was playing the drums and listening through my in-ear monitor, there were parts i felt like were lacking. and the more i perform, the more ideas i have about areas we can improve so we can make our concerts even more enjoyable. i've noticed a lot of those things myself, and found parts i wanted to improve. so yes, although today's concert was really fun, i won't let us become satisfied with just this. i want us to continue creating performances that are even more fun and have better quality. that's something i really wanted to tell all of you. 🐹 did you all have fun? you all traveled such a long way to get here. for a lot of people, yeongjongdo is actually pretty far away. so the fact that you came all the way here just to see xdiz, is really an act of love. thank you once again, from the bottom of my heart, for loving us so much and coming all this way to support us. i'm not crying. my nose isn't stuffed either. can you hear my sniffling? when i talk quietly, I don't think you can hear me. 🐹 anyway, along time ago, i made a promise to you all, didn't i? i said that xdiz would always be the kind of team that keeps simmering bone broth. [see reply for the context of his "real bone broth" ment] of course, if you eat bone broth every single day, eventually you might start doubting and think "is this really bone broth?" because you get so used to it. but i really cross my heart on this. i'll bet everything on this. without lying, i'll always give my absolute best. i think that's only natural. isn't it wrong to not give your best? 🐹 anyway, i hope you'll continue to believe in us. i hope you keep trusting xdiz. we'll also keep working hard so we can live up to that trust. i believe that precious relationships, as they get deeper, will have more crises/problems. because, well, think about your precious friends. or maybe a neighborhood friend you're close with. or a classmate you were incredibly close to. haven't there been incidents where suddenly that relationship becomes strained because of a crisis? but i believe that a crisis can become an opportunity. so even if there are any of you who may have doubted us, i want to use that as an opportunity to keep proving ourselves to you. 🐹 i hope you know that we're never the kind of people, or the kind of team, that would carelessly take you for granted or treat your love half-heartedly. and i'm so grateful that there are far more people who don't think that way. we really love you all so much. we'll keep talking together after every show, giving each other feedback among ourselves, adressing the areas we fell short on today, and working hard to show you performances that are even more fun and with higher quality. 🐹 oh, right. earlier, when i talked about that promise while mentioning the bone broth, there was something else i said back then too. do you remember me saying the bigger this group gets, as more and more new villains join us, i mentioned that i was afraid some of you may leave so i said i wanted to protect all of you no matter what. nobody actually says things like "what will you protect? protect yourself first." but i think you all understand what i feel. 🐹 honestly, every single one of you is genuinely precious to me. whether there's just one villain or 200,000 villains, you're all still villains. but as our fandom keeps growing, it naturally starts feeling like one huge group. so because of that, i think we might stop feeling like we're seen as an individual person anymore. once again, what i want to tell you here is that every single piece of love that each of you sends us is incredibly precious. really. every single one of you. everyone here, from zone 1 all the way to zone 7000 is so incredibly precious to us. 🐹 when one person comes together... ah no, not just one person. when one person, then another person come together, sometimes they become ten thousand people. that's how it goes, doesn't it? 🐹 anyway, you all know the song "one candle", right? oh, i'm sorry. this is really the last one... actually, you all know i'm a tmi talker. you know, a too much talker. so for a while, i've been telling myself, "ah, i need to restrain myself" and holding back but it's been a while, so, i'll loosen up my mouth a bit more. 🐹 i really love the song "one candle" it talks about how when one candle joins another, then another, and so on, they become one really great light. you are every single one of those lights. when you're standing alone, in a way, you might sometimes feel insignificant. but truly, every one of you is not insignificant. not at all. 🐹 we will become xdiz that grows by constantly reflecting on ourselves, growing through self-reflection, and will never lose our humility so we can become a team that doesn't feel insignificant even if there's just one of us, and even if there were only one of you, we'd still give everything we have until the very end. we would be really grateful if you'll keep believing in us until the very end. and i'll keep believing in our villains until the very end too. thank you. 🐹 also, wasn't this concert amazing? the drums came down from the sky. the instruments came down too. so many incredible things prepared for this show, but this concert couldn't have happened through our efforts alone. there are so many staff members working behind the scenes, and honestly, i think they worked even harder than we did. please give our staff a huge round of applause. and finally, villains, please give yourselves a round of applause too.
11:06

[eng trans] Gunil's 11-Minute Concert Ment at Summer Xcape 2026 🐹 hello, it's gunil. so, did something happen yesterday? firstly, i'd just like to share a few thoughts about how i felt during today's show. i'm always the type to talk for a long time, so i'm trying to be careful because i'm worried some of you might fall asleep. but if you want to sleep, that's okay. you have the freedom. 🐹 anyway, the thing i felt while performing today was that... honestly, i think yesterday we were all still a little shy around each other. i know some of you were here yesterday too. because of that, i was honestly really worried about today. ah, but still, we only had two days to begin with, so since this is the second and final day, we really have to enjoy ourselves and have fun without any regrets. i wanted Xdizzto have fun, and i wanted villains to have fun too. but i kept thinking, will that really work out? i was really worried about it a lot. 🐹 but the moment today's first performance started, you all welcomed us with such loud cheers that i think those worries just disappeared. and honestly, today, even when we made our silly jokes, you reacted so well. you cheered like this even when jooyeon was just tuning his guitar. ah, i'm really, truly grateful for that. so, in conclusion, i had a great time today. 🐹 i think it's almost been five years since our debut now, right? five calendar years, right? anyway, some time has passed, and while we've stood on countless stages during that time, i think yesterday and today, Xcape 2026, will remain one of those performances that i'll remember for a very long time. 🐹 today's concert was really fun. but when i think to myself whether that means it was a perfect performance... personally, i don't think so. while i was playing the drums and listening through my in-ear monitor, there were parts i felt like were lacking. and the more i perform, the more ideas i have about areas we can improve so we can make our concerts even more enjoyable. i've noticed a lot of those things myself, and found parts i wanted to improve. so yes, although today's concert was really fun, i won't let us become satisfied with just this. i want us to continue creating performances that are even more fun and have better quality. that's something i really wanted to tell all of you. 🐹 did you all have fun? you all traveled such a long way to get here. for a lot of people, yeongjongdo is actually pretty far away. so the fact that you came all the way here just to see xdiz, is really an act of love. thank you once again, from the bottom of my heart, for loving us so much and coming all this way to support us. i'm not crying. my nose isn't stuffed either. can you hear my sniffling? when i talk quietly, I don't think you can hear me. 🐹 anyway, along time ago, i made a promise to you all, didn't i? i said that xdiz would always be the kind of team that keeps simmering bone broth. [see reply for the context of his "real bone broth" ment] of course, if you eat bone broth every single day, eventually you might start doubting and think "is this really bone broth?" because you get so used to it. but i really cross my heart on this. i'll bet everything on this. without lying, i'll always give my absolute best. i think that's only natural. isn't it wrong to not give your best? 🐹 anyway, i hope you'll continue to believe in us. i hope you keep trusting xdiz. we'll also keep working hard so we can live up to that trust. i believe that precious relationships, as they get deeper, will have more crises/problems. because, well, think about your precious friends. or maybe a neighborhood friend you're close with. or a classmate you were incredibly close to. haven't there been incidents where suddenly that relationship becomes strained because of a crisis? but i believe that a crisis can become an opportunity. so even if there are any of you who may have doubted us, i want to use that as an opportunity to keep proving ourselves to you. 🐹 i hope you know that we're never the kind of people, or the kind of team, that would carelessly take you for granted or treat your love half-heartedly. and i'm so grateful that there are far more people who don't think that way. we really love you all so much. we'll keep talking together after every show, giving each other feedback among ourselves, adressing the areas we fell short on today, and working hard to show you performances that are even more fun and with higher quality. 🐹 oh, right. earlier, when i talked about that promise while mentioning the bone broth, there was something else i said back then too. do you remember me saying the bigger this group gets, as more and more new villains join us, i mentioned that i was afraid some of you may leave so i said i wanted to protect all of you no matter what. nobody actually says things like "what will you protect? protect yourself first." but i think you all understand what i feel. 🐹 honestly, every single one of you is genuinely precious to me. whether there's just one villain or 200,000 villains, you're all still villains. but as our fandom keeps growing, it naturally starts feeling like one huge group. so because of that, i think we might stop feeling like we're seen as an individual person anymore. once again, what i want to tell you here is that every single piece of love that each of you sends us is incredibly precious. really. every single one of you. everyone here, from zone 1 all the way to zone 7000 is so incredibly precious to us. 🐹 when one person comes together... ah no, not just one person. when one person, then another person come together, sometimes they become ten thousand people. that's how it goes, doesn't it? 🐹 anyway, you all know the song "one candle", right? oh, i'm sorry. this is really the last one... actually, you all know i'm a tmi talker. you know, a too much talker. so for a while, i've been telling myself, "ah, i need to restrain myself" and holding back but it's been a while, so, i'll loosen up my mouth a bit more. 🐹 i really love the song "one candle" it talks about how when one candle joins another, then another, and so on, they become one really great light. you are every single one of those lights. when you're standing alone, in a way, you might sometimes feel insignificant. but truly, every one of you is not insignificant. not at all. 🐹 we will become xdiz that grows by constantly reflecting on ourselves, growing through self-reflection, and will never lose our humility so we can become a team that doesn't feel insignificant even if there's just one of us, and even if there were only one of you, we'd still give everything we have until the very end. we would be really grateful if you'll keep believing in us until the very end. and i'll keep believing in our villains until the very end too. thank you. 🐹 also, wasn't this concert amazing? the drums came down from the sky. the instruments came down too. so many incredible things prepared for this show, but this concert couldn't have happened through our efforts alone. there are so many staff members working behind the scenes, and honestly, i think they worked even harder than we did. please give our staff a huge round of applause. and finally, villains, please give yourselves a round of applause too.

ten

33,967 views • 3 months ago

how I’m building fractl for a $10M exit in 6 months, so I can produce my dream musical 🎤🎬 I don't know how 🤷🏼‍♀️ That's what the show is about ha. Figuring it out, in real time. Wish me luck lol fractl's new docu-series ‘‘The Crypto Hustle’ launches feb 26. Final-fucking-ly. thank you Superteam Canada & Solana for the funding and for making Episode 1 possible 🥰 For those of you who are new here, hiiii 🙋🏼‍♀️ my name is Rime Salmi, I'm an artist who accidentally built the biggest investor network in web3. And now we're producing a 12 episode documentary about how I'm working my way back to being an artist, with funding. the origin story. when I crashed with the last crypto cycle, back to zero (plus tax) at my grown age, I had to ask myself what the hell I was gonna do with my life. I always just wanted be an artist. With agency. So i worked and paid for everything, studio, music videos, started a record label, all that to keep my artistic freedom, for my entire career. Had some success, lots of failed experiments, lots of tears, and lots of fun. After I lost everything to the terra luna crash (mistakes were made 🥲), I had to figure out how I would fund the dream next. I needed a break from the emotional roller coaster of trading crypto, so I went back to school for the grant money (thank you government of Canada). I relocated to madrid for a change, and started making tiktoks. Skits that I thought were funny. Skits that i thought were risky but honest and necessary. I’ve always loved saying out loud what others are ashamed to even think 🤓 if you follow me on ig or tt you know ha I was having a blast. Creating all day. Some tiktoks took off. Ones that felt very personal. I felt seen. I was at my happiest, filming, editing, singing and pretending to listen in class, for the grant money. Then it hit me. That's what i want. I wanna be telling stories. I dont wanna be just a singer, just a songwriter, just an actress waiting for auditions to come my way. I wanna do it all, tell more stories, write and produce them. so…A musical? But I hate musicals 😭 why do they start singing in the middle of a conversation?!? whyyyyy A musical for people who don't like musicals??!!! 🥹 That’s it!! A MUSICAL FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT LIKE MUSICALS 🤩 DONE. So from the lowest of my finances, in the middle of career confusion, with a bruised ego from failing so miserably at my first crypto cycle, I found something great to get excited about for the rest of my life. I needed to validate the feasibility… because I know I’m a dreamer who gets shit done, but I’m very much a idealist. so I asked my good friend of mine and the producer of my first 2 albums Benny Adam (now a rising star, this is me clout chasing) for advice. I asked him: ‘is this too much? For me to wanna produce a whole as* Netflix series, music and all?? He’s the most talented, ambitious yet realistic guy I know. And I knew he would tell it to me like it is, but kindly. Because he’s also a nice human 🫶🏽 ‘So?? Is it too big of a project??’ He paused… I looked at him, hopeful 🥹 ‘Ya. It’s a reeeally big project 😕’, he said. Fuck. and then he paused, again. Just tell me, I thought. Tell me aaaall the reasons this is a bad idea… 😞 beat. ‘But if anyone can do it, it’s you’ cue inspiring battle field music Reeeallyyyyy? 🥹 I teared up. I’m tearing up now writing this. Because at that low point in my life, that’s what I needed. Just one person who really knew me, to remind me, despite my circumstances, of who I am and what I’m capable of. That I’m crazy, yes, but in a good way 👉🏽👈🏽 Shokran Benny. I don’t think you know how much that meant to me (I’m gonna tell him again because he’s on episode 4 of the Crypto Hustle ha) Ok. So. Musical it is. When I ran out of back-to-school government money, and needed to be an adult again, I reintegrated the crypto space, with a purpose. I called my friend and mentor Armando Pantoja and asked him what he thought I should go for in terms of job (I needed a break from entrepreneurship). He said ‘I’ve seen you at conferences, you’re really good with people, you know marketing, and you actually understand crypto. He said go to conferences, you’ll figure it out. Just show up’ I did. I showed up to eth denver 2022 and I started the first iteration of what became fractl as an influencer marketing agency, because I saw a good skill-market fit and because I couldn't find a job lol but I hated it. I dont wanna manage influencers, I don't wanna manage artists. I’m an artist, I would never manage me, that's crazy 😂 One thing led to the other I became a fractional CMO. An opinionated one 🤓 I found myself always trying to lead founders towards personal storytelling… suggesting they put themselves out there more. I really believed that it would help them build trust in a space that so desperately needs it. Then, I started hosting our investor events (to get leads for the agency), and saw the struggle of founders building and fundraising at the same time and the original idea for this show started to form. We need bolder marketing in this space. What if we followed these founders around the world at all these conferences and followed their journey, building a company, raising, launching a token, failing. In these ruthless markets, with the drama of personal sacrifices… I could see it so clearly 😃 So I started pitching it. THE BEST MARKETING CAMPAIGN EVER GUYS!! WHO'S IN?? No one. I couldn't convince a single founder of the vision.🥲 Maybe I wasn’t qualified enough in their eyes to carry out such a big vision, following multiple founders on a 6 month production around the world. They were probably right lol But I’m also a little crazy. And really really stubborn. That's something right?? A few months later, inspiration still strong, I told pablo erminy who's worked on multiple Netflix shows about it and he said: ‘why dont you just tell YOUR story? You have a great story, people will wanna watch you build in public to fund your artist dream. As a first reality tv production, one story is more than enough to handle.’ Wise man. Maybe i did underestimate how complex a multi-lead, international, real-time, film production would be 😬 Done. because I know great advice when I hear it. PIVOT! 🛋️ So that’s how ’The Crypto Hustle’ was born. This journey I was trying to sell to other founders, I would do it for myself. show not tell. Now the funding. I tried selling the project to sponsors on and off for over a year, between the normal fractl operations, hiring, training, firing, messing up, learning. And only ended up spreading myself so thin, that I neglected the core business. Company became a mess (for others reasons too, that I will come up on the show, hint: boys) Bottom line is, we lost more money than we made, trying to sell a show. I should've known. Film fundraising is a producer’s full time job lol Fast forward 1 year, 2 pilots and a near bankruptcy later, I’m now launching Episode 1 from Korea and just wrapping episode 2 from Hong Kong. No funding. (except for Episode 1, thank you again Superteam Canada 🥰) Fuck it. Might not be the big production I had envisioned, but all the core principles and the emotions, and team talent is there.. An MVP. Now. because waiting for things to align would just delay this indefinitely. And because I have more conviction than ever. not only in authentic storytelling as the best marketing, but also because my soul needs this. I need creativity to keep going. If i stay too long in business mode without publishing art, stories, songs, dances, funny skits, I find no reason to wake up in the morning. Not to be dramatic, but I really only wanna be an artist 😂 Also, the timing IS ideal. because in my mess, I got lucky 🥰 I found a production team that felt right instantly. Love at first meeting. not only are they aligned with the docu-series concept, but with the end vision too. The cultural impact I wanna have with the musical. vegetable Badr, Momo, @JuicySocialAgency, you're my favorite part of 2026 🫶🏽 So here we are. About to launch episode 1. Documenting the process of building fractl for a $10M exit in 6 MONTHS, so i can produce my dream musical 🥰 It’s about to be epic. Or a massive failure, in public. can girl with the pink hair make this happen? 👀 let the adventure begin 💚☺️ full episodes will be on my youtube channel. go subscribe ok?
0:51

how I’m building fractl for a $10M exit in 6 months, so I can produce my dream musical 🎤🎬 I don't know how 🤷🏼‍♀️ That's what the show is about ha. Figuring it out, in real time. Wish me luck lol fractl's new docu-series ‘‘The Crypto Hustle’ launches feb 26. Final-fucking-ly. thank you Superteam Canada & Solana for the funding and for making Episode 1 possible 🥰 For those of you who are new here, hiiii 🙋🏼‍♀️ my name is Rime Salmi, I'm an artist who accidentally built the biggest investor network in web3. And now we're producing a 12 episode documentary about how I'm working my way back to being an artist, with funding. the origin story. when I crashed with the last crypto cycle, back to zero (plus tax) at my grown age, I had to ask myself what the hell I was gonna do with my life. I always just wanted be an artist. With agency. So i worked and paid for everything, studio, music videos, started a record label, all that to keep my artistic freedom, for my entire career. Had some success, lots of failed experiments, lots of tears, and lots of fun. After I lost everything to the terra luna crash (mistakes were made 🥲), I had to figure out how I would fund the dream next. I needed a break from the emotional roller coaster of trading crypto, so I went back to school for the grant money (thank you government of Canada). I relocated to madrid for a change, and started making tiktoks. Skits that I thought were funny. Skits that i thought were risky but honest and necessary. I’ve always loved saying out loud what others are ashamed to even think 🤓 if you follow me on ig or tt you know ha I was having a blast. Creating all day. Some tiktoks took off. Ones that felt very personal. I felt seen. I was at my happiest, filming, editing, singing and pretending to listen in class, for the grant money. Then it hit me. That's what i want. I wanna be telling stories. I dont wanna be just a singer, just a songwriter, just an actress waiting for auditions to come my way. I wanna do it all, tell more stories, write and produce them. so…A musical? But I hate musicals 😭 why do they start singing in the middle of a conversation?!? whyyyyy A musical for people who don't like musicals??!!! 🥹 That’s it!! A MUSICAL FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT LIKE MUSICALS 🤩 DONE. So from the lowest of my finances, in the middle of career confusion, with a bruised ego from failing so miserably at my first crypto cycle, I found something great to get excited about for the rest of my life. I needed to validate the feasibility… because I know I’m a dreamer who gets shit done, but I’m very much a idealist. so I asked my good friend of mine and the producer of my first 2 albums Benny Adam (now a rising star, this is me clout chasing) for advice. I asked him: ‘is this too much? For me to wanna produce a whole as* Netflix series, music and all?? He’s the most talented, ambitious yet realistic guy I know. And I knew he would tell it to me like it is, but kindly. Because he’s also a nice human 🫶🏽 ‘So?? Is it too big of a project??’ He paused… I looked at him, hopeful 🥹 ‘Ya. It’s a reeeally big project 😕’, he said. Fuck. and then he paused, again. Just tell me, I thought. Tell me aaaall the reasons this is a bad idea… 😞 beat. ‘But if anyone can do it, it’s you’ cue inspiring battle field music Reeeallyyyyy? 🥹 I teared up. I’m tearing up now writing this. Because at that low point in my life, that’s what I needed. Just one person who really knew me, to remind me, despite my circumstances, of who I am and what I’m capable of. That I’m crazy, yes, but in a good way 👉🏽👈🏽 Shokran Benny. I don’t think you know how much that meant to me (I’m gonna tell him again because he’s on episode 4 of the Crypto Hustle ha) Ok. So. Musical it is. When I ran out of back-to-school government money, and needed to be an adult again, I reintegrated the crypto space, with a purpose. I called my friend and mentor Armando Pantoja and asked him what he thought I should go for in terms of job (I needed a break from entrepreneurship). He said ‘I’ve seen you at conferences, you’re really good with people, you know marketing, and you actually understand crypto. He said go to conferences, you’ll figure it out. Just show up’ I did. I showed up to eth denver 2022 and I started the first iteration of what became fractl as an influencer marketing agency, because I saw a good skill-market fit and because I couldn't find a job lol but I hated it. I dont wanna manage influencers, I don't wanna manage artists. I’m an artist, I would never manage me, that's crazy 😂 One thing led to the other I became a fractional CMO. An opinionated one 🤓 I found myself always trying to lead founders towards personal storytelling… suggesting they put themselves out there more. I really believed that it would help them build trust in a space that so desperately needs it. Then, I started hosting our investor events (to get leads for the agency), and saw the struggle of founders building and fundraising at the same time and the original idea for this show started to form. We need bolder marketing in this space. What if we followed these founders around the world at all these conferences and followed their journey, building a company, raising, launching a token, failing. In these ruthless markets, with the drama of personal sacrifices… I could see it so clearly 😃 So I started pitching it. THE BEST MARKETING CAMPAIGN EVER GUYS!! WHO'S IN?? No one. I couldn't convince a single founder of the vision.🥲 Maybe I wasn’t qualified enough in their eyes to carry out such a big vision, following multiple founders on a 6 month production around the world. They were probably right lol But I’m also a little crazy. And really really stubborn. That's something right?? A few months later, inspiration still strong, I told pablo erminy who's worked on multiple Netflix shows about it and he said: ‘why dont you just tell YOUR story? You have a great story, people will wanna watch you build in public to fund your artist dream. As a first reality tv production, one story is more than enough to handle.’ Wise man. Maybe i did underestimate how complex a multi-lead, international, real-time, film production would be 😬 Done. because I know great advice when I hear it. PIVOT! 🛋️ So that’s how ’The Crypto Hustle’ was born. This journey I was trying to sell to other founders, I would do it for myself. show not tell. Now the funding. I tried selling the project to sponsors on and off for over a year, between the normal fractl operations, hiring, training, firing, messing up, learning. And only ended up spreading myself so thin, that I neglected the core business. Company became a mess (for others reasons too, that I will come up on the show, hint: boys) Bottom line is, we lost more money than we made, trying to sell a show. I should've known. Film fundraising is a producer’s full time job lol Fast forward 1 year, 2 pilots and a near bankruptcy later, I’m now launching Episode 1 from Korea and just wrapping episode 2 from Hong Kong. No funding. (except for Episode 1, thank you again Superteam Canada 🥰) Fuck it. Might not be the big production I had envisioned, but all the core principles and the emotions, and team talent is there.. An MVP. Now. because waiting for things to align would just delay this indefinitely. And because I have more conviction than ever. not only in authentic storytelling as the best marketing, but also because my soul needs this. I need creativity to keep going. If i stay too long in business mode without publishing art, stories, songs, dances, funny skits, I find no reason to wake up in the morning. Not to be dramatic, but I really only wanna be an artist 😂 Also, the timing IS ideal. because in my mess, I got lucky 🥰 I found a production team that felt right instantly. Love at first meeting. not only are they aligned with the docu-series concept, but with the end vision too. The cultural impact I wanna have with the musical. vegetable Badr, Momo, @JuicySocialAgency, you're my favorite part of 2026 🫶🏽 So here we are. About to launch episode 1. Documenting the process of building fractl for a $10M exit in 6 MONTHS, so i can produce my dream musical 🥰 It’s about to be epic. Or a massive failure, in public. can girl with the pink hair make this happen? 👀 let the adventure begin 💚☺️ full episodes will be on my youtube channel. go subscribe ok?

🌸 Rime Salmi 🌸

11,070 views • 7 months ago

(1/2) Last night's Aidan Kearney meltdown over his falling out with Karen Read on an X Space is the peak of catharsis and real-time online toxicity: It starts with the the bombshell claim about Aidan recorded Karen Read, moves to Karen's newly-released texts about being "done" with Aidan after "someone" sent a recording of that conversation to David Yannetti and Alan Jackson, then spirals into ad hominems, and ends with Kearney storming off to counter-publish. The flood of primary source documents posted on online overnight, thus, acts as the host's (Chris) victory lap over Kearney. FULL TRANSCRIPT; *(Cleaned for grammar/spelling, punctuated for flow, and line-broken for readability. Some errors are expected.)* **Aidan:** Am I on? **Host/Other:** You're on. **Aidan:** So who are you? Who is this? **Chris:** Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter who I am. **Aidan:** Well, it does. You're some fucking kangaroo court motherfucker talking about her. What the fuck do you know about anything? **Chris:** Well, I don't know exactly what you've been doing. **Aidan:** So what are your sources? What are your sources? What are your sources you're talking about? Huh? You don't know your sources? What do you talk about? No, your sources. Shut up. Let's see 'em. Let's see your sources. **Lily:** Hang on, Aidan. I'm the host. I'm Lily. **Aidan:** Yes, Lily. Hi, Lily. How are you? **Lily:** I'm good. I'm just going to wait. I know you may not know it, Chris, but you know me. And so I just wanted to say hi. **Aidan:** Yeah, I know, but this Koala motherfucker is up here making shit up, running his mouth nonsense. Let's see the receipts. I mean, what were you talking to Karen Read about? What are you talking about? Who the fuck are you? **Chris:** I'm asking you flat out: Did you or did you not record her phone calls between yourself and Karen? **Aidan:** I did not. I did not. **Chris:** Okay, so Karen is lying? **Aidan:** You talked to Karen Read? Karen isn't talking to anyone in the media, but she's talking to this call-the-motherfucker. That's what you're telling me right now. **Chris:** Like I said, If you want to go down this hill, stand ten toes down." **Aidan:** I'm calling you out because you're making shit up. **Chris:** Who? I'm not making anything up. I'm not making anything up. I'm not making anything up. **Aidan:** So let's see it. Let's see the fucking evidence. Let's see your communications with Karen Read where she says that. Let's see it. **Lily:** Hang on. Chris, you're going to have to provide the receipts. **Chris:** I'm going to tell you, the guy who's doing this—you know, he's going to put them out. **Chris:** Do you really want to prove it? You want to prove it to me? I've got all the mistakes that come out. I can't. Literally. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. What's that? Let's see it. Let's see it. Produce it. Tweet it out right now. **Aidan:** So I'm denying it—like, hardcore, 100%. I'm the guy you have to deny it to. I don't, because you've become a bit of a fuck-up. It's about as fucking legitimate as Lindsey trying to be a rake. Let's fucking see it, motherfucker. You got it, right? 'Cause I—accusations—I always bring fucking receipts. Where's your receipt, bitch? **Aidan:** You got 'em? **Chris:** I've got 'em now. I think you want me to be saying—to be honest—hang a room on the fucker with no receipt. **Aidan:** You got 'em? Yes or no? **Chris:** I've got a receipt. Where's your fuck? **Chris:** You just need, bro—you just need to like chill, because you're gonna have a lot of fucking neck on your face, because I don't really care. **Chris:** I said to the people who bought this story: If I end up having egg on my face, I'll put everyone's name in it, and I'm given—I have a... Just shut your fucking mouth for one fucking minute. **Aidan:** Right. Let's see it. **Chris:** I've just messaged the person. **Aidan:** Joe Flipp, you want to talk about a fucking psychopath? That motherfucker is—just, Joe Flipp. Really want to fucking go there?" 'Cause it's Joe. You can just say it's Nick from Philadelphia, isn't it? Yeah, I know all about Nick from Philadelphia. If you fucking want to go there and the fucking hell—that psychopath—what Olivia Lambo went through. You just don't want to come out. Does he want to talk about all that? Does he want to launch? **Chris:** Okay? You know what? How was your lunch with Meredith the other week. Fuck it. I don't care. How was your lunch with Meredith? How's your lunch with Meredith? **Aidan:**What the fuck? **Chris:** Chat, what, what am I talking about? How is your lunch with Meredith here? We got—you know what you want to do? You want to carry on and be a fuck with me here? I like you—always up. **Chris:** How was your lunch with Meredith a couple weeks ago, and what did you play for her? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, what the fuck am I talking about? You know exactly what I'm talking about. And I'm trying to do this respectfully, but you come in hot like you always do. So now I'm just gonna fucking do it. How was your lunch with Meredith the other week? **Aidan:** I didn't have one with Meredith. Yeah, bullshit. Okay, so that's it. So someone else is lying now. **Chris:** So you're gonna call Meredith a liar? Why? Meredith's a liar? **Aidan:** Are you talking to Meredith? **Chris:**I'm not talking to Meredith. **Aidan:** What are you talking about? **Chris:** Okay, well, so you have great Meredith in an Oscar. If you said that to Meredith, you just spread rumors. That's what you do—you don't spread any rumors. I want to laugh tonight about this. **Erika Walsh:** I warned you, Chris, about this last night. **Aidan:** You got no—Joe Flipp—fucking feeding you nonsense. That slimy psychopath, fucking nut job who called in Olivia's entire family to harass them—to the point where she had the fucking... Nothing to do with Olivia. And Joe's Flipp— **Chris:* this is to do with you. Stop deflecting, that motherfucker. **Aidan:** I'm telling you this—he's the one telling you this. **Chris:** I've been told by three different people. Three different people. There's people in this chat who know about this. There's people in chat—they won't stand up and say anything, but I know the people who know about this. **Aidan:** Bring all these lame cons up one by one so I can slam 'em down one by one, because none of you motherfuckers got a receipt to back up any of this shit. None of you do. Bring it. By adding them. **Chris:** Stand by. Stand by. Stand by. **Joe Flipperhead:** You have the text, bro. You know I saw the screenshot. **Aidan:** So we gonna talk about what you did to Olivia Lambo? We have a lot of things, dude. **Joe:** You're deflecting. When you... **Aidan:** You want to go there? Mark Bedderow? Oh, of being in on a fucking conspiracy against you? To tell us—if when we told you Olivia Lambo... You made us fucking get on a FaceTime with her because you thought she was dead. You thought you were being catfished by her, fucking... I was, and so we agreed to do a Zoom call with her. And when I called you and I told you Olivia Lambo is real—I just saw her face. What did you do? You accused me and Mark Bedderow of lying to you, of being in on it, because you are a fucking psychopathic motherfucker. And I didn't put it there because I don't want to fuck... **Joe:** Yeah, you did put it out there, though. If you want to get into the Olivia thing, that's fine, and I'll go down that road. But you're calling me a psychopath You fucking recorded Karen Read's fucking calls and sent them to people. **Chris:** I'm just gonna keep muting him because he's yelling. You can say it. **Aidan:** Is this Lily's space or yours? **Joe:** I have the text, dude. I'll put it on one of our... Your—She told me she's fucking done with you, dude. **Aidan:** All right. I'm going on my own right now. I'm calling out fucking Joe Flipp-ed life. If I get muted one more fucking time. I'm gonna do a whole fucking... Thank you. I'm publishing all your fucking texts—the whole world can see what a fucking sadistic psychopath you are. You controlling predator piece of shit. You fucking go there. **Chris:** This is completely the actions of a normal innocent person. **Aidan:* You're a pyscho freak. **Joe:** Yeah, says the guy that recorded Karen. **Aidan:** Oh, yeah, let's hear it. See the fucking recording. Can I hear it? **Joe:** I got the text saying you recorded. But the text says there's a recording, so where's the fucking recording? *Aidan:** Hey, let's hear Joe. Why? I just got asked if I'm—what would you say if I'm a massage in this? Like, go— **Joe:** Why does Liv still text me to this day? **Aidan:** You text her. Oh, you want to see the receipts, dude? I've seen the receipts—all of them. Okay, I got all the receipts. **Joe:** You got the August ones, the September ones where she misses me and hates how things ended? You got those? Fuck, I see 'em. Publish 'em. I will do it. I don't plan—I talk about you. Go for it. **Chris:** You're doing everything back. **Joe:** When I told you how she wouldn't FaceTime me for three months, how she puts up month-old pictures if you wouldn't fucking... **Aidan:** Yeah, you know why? You know why she wouldn't do that? She's just not into you. Ever have you do this with every girl you fucking talk to? **Joe:**You said to me, after reading the text from her sister— **Chris:** Says the guy who is swining on a 19-year old. **Joe:** You said Aidan, that she said to you, "she's love with you," bro. That's what you said. She's in love with you. That's what you said. Yeah, when her sister—and then he can get you caught by somebody. Let's just get back to you. Deflection from Aidan, who doesn't want to be on the line. **Joe:** As you wish—she wouldn't FaceTime me. She wouldn't meet up with me, and she lied to me constantly. Yeah, why would she meet up? **Aidan:** Maybe she's just not that into you. Ever think about that? Maybe she's just not that into you. Maybe you saw the text. I know, I know—it's hard for you to accept that the girl just doesn't want you. You have to accept the person doesn't want nothing to do with you, isn't it? I did, and you got clingy and possessive. And so she fucking stopped talking to you, so you called her mother and you talked—you don't even know because you're psychotic, bro. I'm fucking... you. *Joe:** You're just deflecting, bro. This is fucking pathetic. I'm not your one. She's talking about this. **Aidan:** I got no fucking thing—you—you are a fucking psychopath. **Joe:** You're first of all—she doesn't want you to fucking be talking about this because why? **Aidan:** You're the one fucking airing it out now, motherfucker. **Chris:** You're the one airing it because you got caught recording Karen. **Aidan:** So let's hear the recording. Let's play the recording. You got a recording of me, right? **Joe:** I know you did it, dude. **Aidan:** What? **Joe:** I know you recorded. Are you lying? Karen Read's a liar? All right, am I...? **Aidan:** You are the fucking coward. Where's the recording? What recording you talking about? You're—you're— **Joe:** You're accusing Karen Read of lying about this? **Aidan:** Yes. **Joe:** You're really—are you really serious? How many fucking—serious? **Aidan:** Let's hear the fucking recording. **Lily** Chris or Joe? Please play it. Did it? You didn't have... for people. Can you please provide a receipt? Just like I think it's fair. **Joe:** Aidan has it. **Aidan:: I thought you had it. I thought you had it. Let's hear it. Let's hear the recording. **Joe:** All right, you sent me the text that I sent. You haven't... **Aidan:** Yeah, let's—so let's hear the actual recording. Does it exist, though? **Joe:** So Karen is lying. **Aidan:: Karen Read would never lie (sarcastic tone). Oh, yeah. **Chris:** True color. *Joe:** So yeah, let me just run this: You recorded it. You recorded the conversation. You showed it to people, and then the very next day she randomly accused you of fucking doing it. That's what happened. That's what your story is, right? **Aidan:** There's no fucking recording. **Joe:** There is, dude. Where is it? **Aidan:** So let me hear it. Play it. **Joe:** I don't fucking have it. **Aidan:** Oh, you don't know if there's a recording, do you? Thank you. Because you're full of shit. I know—I just fucking caught you. That's what you just said. Those—bring it up here. I talked to somebody—bring her up here. Bring Karen Read up here, bro. You talked to her? Bring her on up here. **Joe:** I spoke to somebody that you played the recording for. Okay, oh—you know, just—I just say I've already said it, so just say it. Okay, I said I wanted to not say her name, but you know who—you played it for. **Aidan:** I haven't played it for anyone just— there's no recording. **Joe:** Stop fucking lying. Let's hear it from the point. *Aidan:** Let's hear it. Let's hear it. **Joe:** Aidan, this is fucking crazy, dude. **Aidan:** I'm not the one that fucking caught it—got blocked by Olivia's mother, and fucking brother... **Joe** Here we go. This is deflecting, and dude—that's admitting how fucking guilty you are right here. **Aidan:** Let's hear a fucking recording. You said you got a fucking recording, right? **Joe:** Nobody said that. We said—oh, Karen Read doesn't want to talk to you anymore because you recorded her calls, set them to people, and it got back to her. **Chris:** I got a question for you, Aidan, I didn't know—so sure. When you went on your little pity party and then you— **Joe:** The worst part is you lied to everybody acting on it. You had no idea what was wrong and why she she fucking set you straight—trying to get sympathy. That, my friend, is fucking psychotic. **Aidan:** Okay, okay, sure thing. Yeah, you said I sent the recording out. Where's the recording? *Joe:** Dude? It's not—I'm not obligated to fucking get the recording. **Aidan:** Oh, yeah, you wouldn't want to back it up, right? **Joe:** You're so—you're going to go on record that Karen is lying? Say it. You're caling Karen Read a liar about this. **Aidan:** There is no fucking recording. **Joe:** You're lying, dude. It's fucking crazy. This is what's here. It—play the note. You played it for somebody. You got it. I don't got it. **Aidan:** Let's hear you play it. You're the one that says there's a fucking record. **Chris:** I mean, that's—you have a history of recording people. **Lily:** Wait, we have—well, I feel like we have a responsibility as me as a host to Chris and... You're both—you're actually both not providing a receipt, and I'm—Aidan is actually asking for a receipt. I have to—for the recording. **Joe and Chris** He has—asking for the recording. **Lily:** You guys—she has which he sent to—we know I said. So who has it? One of the receipts. I know you're not gonna have— **Aidan:: you don't have the recording because— **Lily:** Just fucking say it. Karen doesn't want the recording out there. **Aidan:** What recording? There's no recording. **Joe:** Never even asked her for it, to be honest with you. **Aidan:** And so you wait—yeah, you never asked. Thank you—you never asked. **Joe:** Karen is fucking so done with you, bro. She sent—she told me about this completely unsolicited. **Lily:**That's beside the point, and I'm not the first—(Joe) Karen's done with him, ..but what the fuck—just post the fucking receipt for him. **Chris:** You can't come on here saying he has it, Lily. He's seen the same thing you've seen. He's even seen the same thing that I showed you. **Lily:** I know. You don't come on here and say I've got this, and then Aidan demands a receipt—you deserve. Okay... **Joe:** He's deflecting, asking for a recording he knows about the text. **Lily:** Yeah, I know, Joe. I get what you're saying, and I respect every—like what you're saying, but he's denying it. **Joe:** Fine, I'll post the fuck—I'll post them right now. I really don't give a fuck. **Lily:** Thank you. And that's immense—he can—he can then riff like whatever he can. I can't—I'm so like nervous. I've got dry mouth because... Then Aidan can like look at those, and he at least has—you know exactly what's been spoken about. He's just denying it. I can't say that, and I get it, but he is asking for the receipt, which is fair. And **Joe:** I'll even add the text message when he came on here initially. He said it was all alive, right? He said he sent me—fucking text message on Monday morning. **Lily:** I see it. We've established that now. We established that Aidan's denying it, so just post the receipt that you have, and then he can actually reflect on that and—and do you see what I mean? He's not gonna turn around now and say actually it is true. But if you've got the receipt, he can then say, "I will—this is x, y and z there." I just think it's fair—like... **Aidan:** Now, yeah, what he has is a screenshot that he claims is from Karen Read. It was— **Joe:** You're saying it's not from Karen Read. **Aidan:** I don't—there's no fucking name on the top. **Joe:** Yeah, I have it. Do you want me to read? **Aidan:** Okay, so there was an allegation? I'm reading. **Joe:** Do I have a text from you saying I was sent the same thing the morning after the verdict? Did you not say that to me? **Aidan:** Yes, you sent me the same thing the morning after the verdict. **Joe:** Okay, so then she sent it to me too. **Aidan:** Yeah, she knows—she said to me the morning after the Wilbur—she after the morning after the show, she said that she was sent a 30-minute fucking tape. Where's the fuck? What tape? Okay, she's not fucking accusing me. I have no—there's no fucking tape. There's no tape. She thinks I recorded her because I fucking told people about the conversation. That's it. **Joe:** You're telling me you didn't? **Aidan:: And I'm telling you I fucking didn't. You're wrong. **Joe:** 100% You're lying, dude. **Aidan:** Okay, so prove it. Let's see it. You got evidence, right? You like evidence? You got Any? **Joe**: I mean—I—a screenshot of—how many people did you send it to? **Aidan:** Zero, because there's no recording. **Joe:** There is. **Aidan:** Let's hear it. Play it. Let's play it. Let's go. **Joe:** Let's hold on. Let's hold on. Can I go real quick? So you come in here calling it—you were making fun of Chris because he's an Australian motherfucker. He doesn't have nothing, right? You said there was no text, no proof. And then now we're transitioning to the recording because I don't have the recording. Okay, so you think Karen Read is just fucking lying about this? How would she know? How would she know what about the recording? **Aidan:** There is no recording. **Joe:** You're telling me you didn't show it to anybody? Is that really what you're gonna tell people? **Aidan:**There's no recording to share with anyone. Okay, okay. Well, I mean, you got evidence, right? To back this up. **Joe:** Yeah, right. **Aidan:: You got something, right? Yeah, yeah. Did you been right? I mean, you have that, right? You have that right because you wouldn't say something—because if you know I had it, right? **Joe:** I have—why Karen Read won't speak to you. **Aidan:** You have a screenshot of a conversation with Karen Read. You don't have an actual fucking audio, though. **Joe:** I have—in Karen Read's words. Why do you think she would lie about this? **Aidan:** Do I think she would lie about having a recording? **Joe:** She wouldn't lie about this. Explain that one—about having a recording. **Aidan:** Yes, I know she's lying about that. **Joe:** Why, though? **Aidan:** I don't know why Karen is acting the way she is. It's unfortunate. Yeah, and honestly, I'm not the one—you're a fucking airing it all out right now. That's odd that Karen would green-light you coming on here and fucking doing this. That's kind of odd. Because I love you—notice, but like—kind of yeah, we raised 1.1 million fucking dollars for a little... Here I know—here, I'm here. I'm here. There's still a— **Chris;** there's no because you—still a fucking snake. Yeah, I know. He records people's phone calls. **Aidan:: Let's hear the tape. Let's hear the tape. You're the one making—you guys got nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I just sent the fucking text out. Just say—there you go, buddy. **Aidan:** Okay, so Karen Read is green-lighting this sort of drama? That's what you're saying? **Joe:** I asked her. I said—you asked her? She said yes, go ahead. I said, do you want your side out there? She said, 'sure. You're gonna read it? Sure. I told many people my side. This is my last straw. I would never and have never betrayed him. Meanwhile, he has put me in harm's way in a huge way multiple times.' **Aidan:** I put her—fucking words, okay? Not mine. Yep. Okay. I put Karen Read in harm's way? I went to jail for Karen Read. I don't know if you're familiar. **Chris:** You didn't go to jail for Karen Read, you fuck. **Aidan:** Oh, really? Then what am I on bail for? What is—the full—what's the full? **Chris:** You went to jail for Karen Read? You went to jail because of Lindsey. You went to jail because you're a fucking dick. **Aidan:** Why was I on bail? I think you're a fuck—while you're on bail. I'm saying because—why would I care? Maybe someone in the night— **Chris:** hey, you're full of shit. You're a fucking hell. **Aidan:** What the fuck was I on bail for? **Joe** Because they may know that—if you didn't record it, why are you being so hush-hush about it with everybody? Why would he just tell the people what she was saying since she's lying? What do you mean hush-hush about it? **Aidan** You think I won't talk about what she texted me? But you were hinting at it because I don't want to hear the fucking drama, but apparently she does because she's—you fucking do this because you're recording. Thank you. You're telling me no recording of any fucking phone calls? What's the—what's the fight? So you weren't mocking her the past however long—every time you went on the show saying you owe everything to Karen, all that shit? How is that little white lie? **Aidan:** I owe everything to Karen? What? Why is that little sub-story? You went on two weeks—how is that mocking her? That wasn't in the recording. What recording? There's no fucking recording. **Joe:** I heard it was a 10-minute recording. Does that make sense? **Aidan:** No recording, bro. Let's hear it. You heard it. Let's hear it. **Joe:** Dude, I'm not putting that part out here. **Aidan:** She's talking about her shit. What she's texting you right now—obviously. Who egging this on, isn't she? **Joe:** Who? Okay? Okay, who? Keep playing dumb. Hey—who? **Aidan:** Mm-hmm? Believe it or not—you guys got nothing, right? **Chris;** We got good—from the horse's mouth, mate. I mean, it's not over the horse. Yeah, that's enough for me. I don't need... **Aidan:** Karen's not talking to anyone in the media. **Joe:** If you read the text message, I just reached out to her as a friend—just to reach out and say hope you're doing well. She went into this whole thing about you. **Aidan:** So you reached out—let me get this right—you reached out to her just to say hope you're doing well, and the first thing she did was complain about me? **Joe:** Yes, okay. That says it all. There we go. Where is she? Tired of me? Maybe she's fucking tired of you telling the people bullshit. **Aidan:** What—what—what—what—what bullshit have I told people? That you have no idea why she won't fucking come on your whatever it is. **Aidan:** What do you mean I have no idea why? **Joe:** That's what you've been saying—you don't know what's going on, like you feel a bit sorry for—like the thing with the fucking Howie Carr, dude. That was ridiculous. **Aidan:** What was ridiculous? You're the entire way you handled—I didn't say a word about that. **Chris:** Yes, you did. You deleted the receipt, but let's see—where did I complain about her appearance on Howie Carr? You made a lot of all quiet. Oh, this fuck it. Oh... **Joe:** Wait, but you think we're fucking dumb? Do people are fucking dumb? So where did I—after you deleted it, and then you made a post about deleting it. **Aidan:** What did I say about it? I don't remember. **Chris:** But you don't remember? Yeah, you deleted it, bro. You deleted it. Yeah, remember? You deleted it. And then you made a post about the deleting of the post. Part 2 coming later.
37:52

(1/2) Last night's Aidan Kearney meltdown over his falling out with Karen Read on an X Space is the peak of catharsis and real-time online toxicity: It starts with the the bombshell claim about Aidan recorded Karen Read, moves to Karen's newly-released texts about being "done" with Aidan after "someone" sent a recording of that conversation to David Yannetti and Alan Jackson, then spirals into ad hominems, and ends with Kearney storming off to counter-publish. The flood of primary source documents posted on online overnight, thus, acts as the host's (Chris) victory lap over Kearney. FULL TRANSCRIPT; *(Cleaned for grammar/spelling, punctuated for flow, and line-broken for readability. Some errors are expected.)* **Aidan:** Am I on? **Host/Other:** You're on. **Aidan:** So who are you? Who is this? **Chris:** Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter who I am. **Aidan:** Well, it does. You're some fucking kangaroo court motherfucker talking about her. What the fuck do you know about anything? **Chris:** Well, I don't know exactly what you've been doing. **Aidan:** So what are your sources? What are your sources? What are your sources you're talking about? Huh? You don't know your sources? What do you talk about? No, your sources. Shut up. Let's see 'em. Let's see your sources. **Lily:** Hang on, Aidan. I'm the host. I'm Lily. **Aidan:** Yes, Lily. Hi, Lily. How are you? **Lily:** I'm good. I'm just going to wait. I know you may not know it, Chris, but you know me. And so I just wanted to say hi. **Aidan:** Yeah, I know, but this Koala motherfucker is up here making shit up, running his mouth nonsense. Let's see the receipts. I mean, what were you talking to Karen Read about? What are you talking about? Who the fuck are you? **Chris:** I'm asking you flat out: Did you or did you not record her phone calls between yourself and Karen? **Aidan:** I did not. I did not. **Chris:** Okay, so Karen is lying? **Aidan:** You talked to Karen Read? Karen isn't talking to anyone in the media, but she's talking to this call-the-motherfucker. That's what you're telling me right now. **Chris:** Like I said, If you want to go down this hill, stand ten toes down." **Aidan:** I'm calling you out because you're making shit up. **Chris:** Who? I'm not making anything up. I'm not making anything up. I'm not making anything up. **Aidan:** So let's see it. Let's see the fucking evidence. Let's see your communications with Karen Read where she says that. Let's see it. **Lily:** Hang on. Chris, you're going to have to provide the receipts. **Chris:** I'm going to tell you, the guy who's doing this—you know, he's going to put them out. **Chris:** Do you really want to prove it? You want to prove it to me? I've got all the mistakes that come out. I can't. Literally. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. What's that? Let's see it. Let's see it. Produce it. Tweet it out right now. **Aidan:** So I'm denying it—like, hardcore, 100%. I'm the guy you have to deny it to. I don't, because you've become a bit of a fuck-up. It's about as fucking legitimate as Lindsey trying to be a rake. Let's fucking see it, motherfucker. You got it, right? 'Cause I—accusations—I always bring fucking receipts. Where's your receipt, bitch? **Aidan:** You got 'em? **Chris:** I've got 'em now. I think you want me to be saying—to be honest—hang a room on the fucker with no receipt. **Aidan:** You got 'em? Yes or no? **Chris:** I've got a receipt. Where's your fuck? **Chris:** You just need, bro—you just need to like chill, because you're gonna have a lot of fucking neck on your face, because I don't really care. **Chris:** I said to the people who bought this story: If I end up having egg on my face, I'll put everyone's name in it, and I'm given—I have a... Just shut your fucking mouth for one fucking minute. **Aidan:** Right. Let's see it. **Chris:** I've just messaged the person. **Aidan:** Joe Flipp, you want to talk about a fucking psychopath? That motherfucker is—just, Joe Flipp. Really want to fucking go there?" 'Cause it's Joe. You can just say it's Nick from Philadelphia, isn't it? Yeah, I know all about Nick from Philadelphia. If you fucking want to go there and the fucking hell—that psychopath—what Olivia Lambo went through. You just don't want to come out. Does he want to talk about all that? Does he want to launch? **Chris:** Okay? You know what? How was your lunch with Meredith the other week. Fuck it. I don't care. How was your lunch with Meredith? How's your lunch with Meredith? **Aidan:**What the fuck? **Chris:** Chat, what, what am I talking about? How is your lunch with Meredith here? We got—you know what you want to do? You want to carry on and be a fuck with me here? I like you—always up. **Chris:** How was your lunch with Meredith a couple weeks ago, and what did you play for her? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, what the fuck am I talking about? You know exactly what I'm talking about. And I'm trying to do this respectfully, but you come in hot like you always do. So now I'm just gonna fucking do it. How was your lunch with Meredith the other week? **Aidan:** I didn't have one with Meredith. Yeah, bullshit. Okay, so that's it. So someone else is lying now. **Chris:** So you're gonna call Meredith a liar? Why? Meredith's a liar? **Aidan:** Are you talking to Meredith? **Chris:**I'm not talking to Meredith. **Aidan:** What are you talking about? **Chris:** Okay, well, so you have great Meredith in an Oscar. If you said that to Meredith, you just spread rumors. That's what you do—you don't spread any rumors. I want to laugh tonight about this. **Erika Walsh:** I warned you, Chris, about this last night. **Aidan:** You got no—Joe Flipp—fucking feeding you nonsense. That slimy psychopath, fucking nut job who called in Olivia's entire family to harass them—to the point where she had the fucking... Nothing to do with Olivia. And Joe's Flipp— **Chris:* this is to do with you. Stop deflecting, that motherfucker. **Aidan:** I'm telling you this—he's the one telling you this. **Chris:** I've been told by three different people. Three different people. There's people in this chat who know about this. There's people in chat—they won't stand up and say anything, but I know the people who know about this. **Aidan:** Bring all these lame cons up one by one so I can slam 'em down one by one, because none of you motherfuckers got a receipt to back up any of this shit. None of you do. Bring it. By adding them. **Chris:** Stand by. Stand by. Stand by. **Joe Flipperhead:** You have the text, bro. You know I saw the screenshot. **Aidan:** So we gonna talk about what you did to Olivia Lambo? We have a lot of things, dude. **Joe:** You're deflecting. When you... **Aidan:** You want to go there? Mark Bedderow? Oh, of being in on a fucking conspiracy against you? To tell us—if when we told you Olivia Lambo... You made us fucking get on a FaceTime with her because you thought she was dead. You thought you were being catfished by her, fucking... I was, and so we agreed to do a Zoom call with her. And when I called you and I told you Olivia Lambo is real—I just saw her face. What did you do? You accused me and Mark Bedderow of lying to you, of being in on it, because you are a fucking psychopathic motherfucker. And I didn't put it there because I don't want to fuck... **Joe:** Yeah, you did put it out there, though. If you want to get into the Olivia thing, that's fine, and I'll go down that road. But you're calling me a psychopath You fucking recorded Karen Read's fucking calls and sent them to people. **Chris:** I'm just gonna keep muting him because he's yelling. You can say it. **Aidan:** Is this Lily's space or yours? **Joe:** I have the text, dude. I'll put it on one of our... Your—She told me she's fucking done with you, dude. **Aidan:** All right. I'm going on my own right now. I'm calling out fucking Joe Flipp-ed life. If I get muted one more fucking time. I'm gonna do a whole fucking... Thank you. I'm publishing all your fucking texts—the whole world can see what a fucking sadistic psychopath you are. You controlling predator piece of shit. You fucking go there. **Chris:** This is completely the actions of a normal innocent person. **Aidan:* You're a pyscho freak. **Joe:** Yeah, says the guy that recorded Karen. **Aidan:** Oh, yeah, let's hear it. See the fucking recording. Can I hear it? **Joe:** I got the text saying you recorded. But the text says there's a recording, so where's the fucking recording? *Aidan:** Hey, let's hear Joe. Why? I just got asked if I'm—what would you say if I'm a massage in this? Like, go— **Joe:** Why does Liv still text me to this day? **Aidan:** You text her. Oh, you want to see the receipts, dude? I've seen the receipts—all of them. Okay, I got all the receipts. **Joe:** You got the August ones, the September ones where she misses me and hates how things ended? You got those? Fuck, I see 'em. Publish 'em. I will do it. I don't plan—I talk about you. Go for it. **Chris:** You're doing everything back. **Joe:** When I told you how she wouldn't FaceTime me for three months, how she puts up month-old pictures if you wouldn't fucking... **Aidan:** Yeah, you know why? You know why she wouldn't do that? She's just not into you. Ever have you do this with every girl you fucking talk to? **Joe:**You said to me, after reading the text from her sister— **Chris:** Says the guy who is swining on a 19-year old. **Joe:** You said Aidan, that she said to you, "she's love with you," bro. That's what you said. She's in love with you. That's what you said. Yeah, when her sister—and then he can get you caught by somebody. Let's just get back to you. Deflection from Aidan, who doesn't want to be on the line. **Joe:** As you wish—she wouldn't FaceTime me. She wouldn't meet up with me, and she lied to me constantly. Yeah, why would she meet up? **Aidan:** Maybe she's just not that into you. Ever think about that? Maybe she's just not that into you. Maybe you saw the text. I know, I know—it's hard for you to accept that the girl just doesn't want you. You have to accept the person doesn't want nothing to do with you, isn't it? I did, and you got clingy and possessive. And so she fucking stopped talking to you, so you called her mother and you talked—you don't even know because you're psychotic, bro. I'm fucking... you. *Joe:** You're just deflecting, bro. This is fucking pathetic. I'm not your one. She's talking about this. **Aidan:** I got no fucking thing—you—you are a fucking psychopath. **Joe:** You're first of all—she doesn't want you to fucking be talking about this because why? **Aidan:** You're the one fucking airing it out now, motherfucker. **Chris:** You're the one airing it because you got caught recording Karen. **Aidan:** So let's hear the recording. Let's play the recording. You got a recording of me, right? **Joe:** I know you did it, dude. **Aidan:** What? **Joe:** I know you recorded. Are you lying? Karen Read's a liar? All right, am I...? **Aidan:** You are the fucking coward. Where's the recording? What recording you talking about? You're—you're— **Joe:** You're accusing Karen Read of lying about this? **Aidan:** Yes. **Joe:** You're really—are you really serious? How many fucking—serious? **Aidan:** Let's hear the fucking recording. **Lily** Chris or Joe? Please play it. Did it? You didn't have... for people. Can you please provide a receipt? Just like I think it's fair. **Joe:** Aidan has it. **Aidan:: I thought you had it. I thought you had it. Let's hear it. Let's hear the recording. **Joe:** All right, you sent me the text that I sent. You haven't... **Aidan:** Yeah, let's—so let's hear the actual recording. Does it exist, though? **Joe:** So Karen is lying. **Aidan:: Karen Read would never lie (sarcastic tone). Oh, yeah. **Chris:** True color. *Joe:** So yeah, let me just run this: You recorded it. You recorded the conversation. You showed it to people, and then the very next day she randomly accused you of fucking doing it. That's what happened. That's what your story is, right? **Aidan:** There's no fucking recording. **Joe:** There is, dude. Where is it? **Aidan:** So let me hear it. Play it. **Joe:** I don't fucking have it. **Aidan:** Oh, you don't know if there's a recording, do you? Thank you. Because you're full of shit. I know—I just fucking caught you. That's what you just said. Those—bring it up here. I talked to somebody—bring her up here. Bring Karen Read up here, bro. You talked to her? Bring her on up here. **Joe:** I spoke to somebody that you played the recording for. Okay, oh—you know, just—I just say I've already said it, so just say it. Okay, I said I wanted to not say her name, but you know who—you played it for. **Aidan:** I haven't played it for anyone just— there's no recording. **Joe:** Stop fucking lying. Let's hear it from the point. *Aidan:** Let's hear it. Let's hear it. **Joe:** Aidan, this is fucking crazy, dude. **Aidan:** I'm not the one that fucking caught it—got blocked by Olivia's mother, and fucking brother... **Joe** Here we go. This is deflecting, and dude—that's admitting how fucking guilty you are right here. **Aidan:** Let's hear a fucking recording. You said you got a fucking recording, right? **Joe:** Nobody said that. We said—oh, Karen Read doesn't want to talk to you anymore because you recorded her calls, set them to people, and it got back to her. **Chris:** I got a question for you, Aidan, I didn't know—so sure. When you went on your little pity party and then you— **Joe:** The worst part is you lied to everybody acting on it. You had no idea what was wrong and why she she fucking set you straight—trying to get sympathy. That, my friend, is fucking psychotic. **Aidan:** Okay, okay, sure thing. Yeah, you said I sent the recording out. Where's the recording? *Joe:** Dude? It's not—I'm not obligated to fucking get the recording. **Aidan:** Oh, yeah, you wouldn't want to back it up, right? **Joe:** You're so—you're going to go on record that Karen is lying? Say it. You're caling Karen Read a liar about this. **Aidan:** There is no fucking recording. **Joe:** You're lying, dude. It's fucking crazy. This is what's here. It—play the note. You played it for somebody. You got it. I don't got it. **Aidan:** Let's hear you play it. You're the one that says there's a fucking record. **Chris:** I mean, that's—you have a history of recording people. **Lily:** Wait, we have—well, I feel like we have a responsibility as me as a host to Chris and... You're both—you're actually both not providing a receipt, and I'm—Aidan is actually asking for a receipt. I have to—for the recording. **Joe and Chris** He has—asking for the recording. **Lily:** You guys—she has which he sent to—we know I said. So who has it? One of the receipts. I know you're not gonna have— **Aidan:: you don't have the recording because— **Lily:** Just fucking say it. Karen doesn't want the recording out there. **Aidan:** What recording? There's no recording. **Joe:** Never even asked her for it, to be honest with you. **Aidan:** And so you wait—yeah, you never asked. Thank you—you never asked. **Joe:** Karen is fucking so done with you, bro. She sent—she told me about this completely unsolicited. **Lily:**That's beside the point, and I'm not the first—(Joe) Karen's done with him, ..but what the fuck—just post the fucking receipt for him. **Chris:** You can't come on here saying he has it, Lily. He's seen the same thing you've seen. He's even seen the same thing that I showed you. **Lily:** I know. You don't come on here and say I've got this, and then Aidan demands a receipt—you deserve. Okay... **Joe:** He's deflecting, asking for a recording he knows about the text. **Lily:** Yeah, I know, Joe. I get what you're saying, and I respect every—like what you're saying, but he's denying it. **Joe:** Fine, I'll post the fuck—I'll post them right now. I really don't give a fuck. **Lily:** Thank you. And that's immense—he can—he can then riff like whatever he can. I can't—I'm so like nervous. I've got dry mouth because... Then Aidan can like look at those, and he at least has—you know exactly what's been spoken about. He's just denying it. I can't say that, and I get it, but he is asking for the receipt, which is fair. And **Joe:** I'll even add the text message when he came on here initially. He said it was all alive, right? He said he sent me—fucking text message on Monday morning. **Lily:** I see it. We've established that now. We established that Aidan's denying it, so just post the receipt that you have, and then he can actually reflect on that and—and do you see what I mean? He's not gonna turn around now and say actually it is true. But if you've got the receipt, he can then say, "I will—this is x, y and z there." I just think it's fair—like... **Aidan:** Now, yeah, what he has is a screenshot that he claims is from Karen Read. It was— **Joe:** You're saying it's not from Karen Read. **Aidan:** I don't—there's no fucking name on the top. **Joe:** Yeah, I have it. Do you want me to read? **Aidan:** Okay, so there was an allegation? I'm reading. **Joe:** Do I have a text from you saying I was sent the same thing the morning after the verdict? Did you not say that to me? **Aidan:** Yes, you sent me the same thing the morning after the verdict. **Joe:** Okay, so then she sent it to me too. **Aidan:** Yeah, she knows—she said to me the morning after the Wilbur—she after the morning after the show, she said that she was sent a 30-minute fucking tape. Where's the fuck? What tape? Okay, she's not fucking accusing me. I have no—there's no fucking tape. There's no tape. She thinks I recorded her because I fucking told people about the conversation. That's it. **Joe:** You're telling me you didn't? **Aidan:: And I'm telling you I fucking didn't. You're wrong. **Joe:** 100% You're lying, dude. **Aidan:** Okay, so prove it. Let's see it. You got evidence, right? You like evidence? You got Any? **Joe**: I mean—I—a screenshot of—how many people did you send it to? **Aidan:** Zero, because there's no recording. **Joe:** There is. **Aidan:** Let's hear it. Play it. Let's play it. Let's go. **Joe:** Let's hold on. Let's hold on. Can I go real quick? So you come in here calling it—you were making fun of Chris because he's an Australian motherfucker. He doesn't have nothing, right? You said there was no text, no proof. And then now we're transitioning to the recording because I don't have the recording. Okay, so you think Karen Read is just fucking lying about this? How would she know? How would she know what about the recording? **Aidan:** There is no recording. **Joe:** You're telling me you didn't show it to anybody? Is that really what you're gonna tell people? **Aidan:**There's no recording to share with anyone. Okay, okay. Well, I mean, you got evidence, right? To back this up. **Joe:** Yeah, right. **Aidan:: You got something, right? Yeah, yeah. Did you been right? I mean, you have that, right? You have that right because you wouldn't say something—because if you know I had it, right? **Joe:** I have—why Karen Read won't speak to you. **Aidan:** You have a screenshot of a conversation with Karen Read. You don't have an actual fucking audio, though. **Joe:** I have—in Karen Read's words. Why do you think she would lie about this? **Aidan:** Do I think she would lie about having a recording? **Joe:** She wouldn't lie about this. Explain that one—about having a recording. **Aidan:** Yes, I know she's lying about that. **Joe:** Why, though? **Aidan:** I don't know why Karen is acting the way she is. It's unfortunate. Yeah, and honestly, I'm not the one—you're a fucking airing it all out right now. That's odd that Karen would green-light you coming on here and fucking doing this. That's kind of odd. Because I love you—notice, but like—kind of yeah, we raised 1.1 million fucking dollars for a little... Here I know—here, I'm here. I'm here. There's still a— **Chris;** there's no because you—still a fucking snake. Yeah, I know. He records people's phone calls. **Aidan:: Let's hear the tape. Let's hear the tape. You're the one making—you guys got nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I just sent the fucking text out. Just say—there you go, buddy. **Aidan:** Okay, so Karen Read is green-lighting this sort of drama? That's what you're saying? **Joe:** I asked her. I said—you asked her? She said yes, go ahead. I said, do you want your side out there? She said, 'sure. You're gonna read it? Sure. I told many people my side. This is my last straw. I would never and have never betrayed him. Meanwhile, he has put me in harm's way in a huge way multiple times.' **Aidan:** I put her—fucking words, okay? Not mine. Yep. Okay. I put Karen Read in harm's way? I went to jail for Karen Read. I don't know if you're familiar. **Chris:** You didn't go to jail for Karen Read, you fuck. **Aidan:** Oh, really? Then what am I on bail for? What is—the full—what's the full? **Chris:** You went to jail for Karen Read? You went to jail because of Lindsey. You went to jail because you're a fucking dick. **Aidan:** Why was I on bail? I think you're a fuck—while you're on bail. I'm saying because—why would I care? Maybe someone in the night— **Chris:** hey, you're full of shit. You're a fucking hell. **Aidan:** What the fuck was I on bail for? **Joe** Because they may know that—if you didn't record it, why are you being so hush-hush about it with everybody? Why would he just tell the people what she was saying since she's lying? What do you mean hush-hush about it? **Aidan** You think I won't talk about what she texted me? But you were hinting at it because I don't want to hear the fucking drama, but apparently she does because she's—you fucking do this because you're recording. Thank you. You're telling me no recording of any fucking phone calls? What's the—what's the fight? So you weren't mocking her the past however long—every time you went on the show saying you owe everything to Karen, all that shit? How is that little white lie? **Aidan:** I owe everything to Karen? What? Why is that little sub-story? You went on two weeks—how is that mocking her? That wasn't in the recording. What recording? There's no fucking recording. **Joe:** I heard it was a 10-minute recording. Does that make sense? **Aidan:** No recording, bro. Let's hear it. You heard it. Let's hear it. **Joe:** Dude, I'm not putting that part out here. **Aidan:** She's talking about her shit. What she's texting you right now—obviously. Who egging this on, isn't she? **Joe:** Who? Okay? Okay, who? Keep playing dumb. Hey—who? **Aidan:** Mm-hmm? Believe it or not—you guys got nothing, right? **Chris;** We got good—from the horse's mouth, mate. I mean, it's not over the horse. Yeah, that's enough for me. I don't need... **Aidan:** Karen's not talking to anyone in the media. **Joe:** If you read the text message, I just reached out to her as a friend—just to reach out and say hope you're doing well. She went into this whole thing about you. **Aidan:** So you reached out—let me get this right—you reached out to her just to say hope you're doing well, and the first thing she did was complain about me? **Joe:** Yes, okay. That says it all. There we go. Where is she? Tired of me? Maybe she's fucking tired of you telling the people bullshit. **Aidan:** What—what—what—what—what bullshit have I told people? That you have no idea why she won't fucking come on your whatever it is. **Aidan:** What do you mean I have no idea why? **Joe:** That's what you've been saying—you don't know what's going on, like you feel a bit sorry for—like the thing with the fucking Howie Carr, dude. That was ridiculous. **Aidan:** What was ridiculous? You're the entire way you handled—I didn't say a word about that. **Chris:** Yes, you did. You deleted the receipt, but let's see—where did I complain about her appearance on Howie Carr? You made a lot of all quiet. Oh, this fuck it. Oh... **Joe:** Wait, but you think we're fucking dumb? Do people are fucking dumb? So where did I—after you deleted it, and then you made a post about deleting it. **Aidan:** What did I say about it? I don't remember. **Chris:** But you don't remember? Yeah, you deleted it, bro. You deleted it. Yeah, remember? You deleted it. And then you made a post about the deleting of the post. Part 2 coming later.

Grant Smith Ellis

85,913 views • 1 year ago

I wanted to explain to the broader transgender community what happened that ultimately made me leave the "true trans" HBS social circle. Some people have expressed interest in hearing this story, and I do think it's worth discussing because of the social and group psychology dynamics that were at play. That said, this will be as far as I go in publicly discussing the situation. Where to start? The reality is that this eventually became a situation where it was Brianna Wu, Marzi, Allysa, and Willow versus myself. The events leading up to the actual breaking point are important. After Willow broke up with me, she told me that I was not the ideal version of a transsexual. In particular, she told me that, using the antiquated HBS scale, I wasn't a Transsexual VI, but more like a IV or V. The reasoning largely came down to the fact that I had different opinions from the rest of the group on issues such as stealth. The rest of the group found my views offensive. This opened the door to what I came to understand as legitimacy testing. This isn't unique to trans spaces either. It involved the systematic questioning of virtually every aspect of my life: my transition, my dysphoria, how I grew up, my experiences, and what I value today. To give you an idea of how extreme it became, Marzi seriously asked me whether I had only pursued SRS to satisfy a sexual fetish. This was after learning that I had been capable of having sex prior to transition. Apparently, that fact alone was enough to cast suspicion on my entire transition history. This legitimacy testing continued for roughly two and a half weeks. Every day. For most of the day. It became increasingly distressing and isolating. And remember, at this point, I was emotionally dependent on these people. The day everything finally came to a head started with a discussion about transgender women in sports. Brianna entered the group chat and asked if any of us would be willing to debate Blaire White on the issue. People immediately began sharing their positions. As the only former NCAA athlete in the group, I chimed in and stated that I supported transgender women participating in women's sports and that it was not an issue I was willing to move on. That triggered a cascade of responses. I was repeatedly told that the issue was insignificant, that it only affected a tiny number of people, and that sports were ultimately just a hobby. I pushed back. I tried explaining that NCAA athletes are not hobbyists. Their sport is often their entire life. They spend years training, watching film, practicing, traveling, competing, and structuring their entire identity around performance. I also tried explaining that sports had been the medium through which I survived to adulthood. School was not safe for me. Home was not safe for me. The track was. Track and field was the one place in my life where I felt safe, valued, and understood. My relationship with sports was deeply personal. Yet every time I tried explaining this, I was met with the same response: "It's just a hobby." They genuinely did not seem to understand. Eventually, I decided to show them a video of Yaroslava Mahuchikh breaking the women's high jump world record. I wanted them to see what elite competition actually looks like. I wanted them to understand the pressure, the emotion, the adrenaline, and what it means to dedicate your life to something. High jump was my best event. I explained how, at the end of a meet, all eyes are on you. Entire stadiums can clap rhythmically to help carry you over the bar. The pressure is immense. And honestly? I lived for that feeling. So I showed them the video. They dismissed it entirely. Then Brianna commented that when she was in high school, she was simply focused on fitting in and being one of the girls. Immediately afterward, Marzi told me that being a competitive athlete was "male-coded." That was my wake-up call. In that moment, I suddenly snapped out of everything. I realized what had been happening to me psychologically. I realized this was no longer a discussion. This was an attempt to socially discipline me into conformity. It was another attempt to reshape my views and my identity to fit within the group's expectations. For the first time, they had collided with something I was unwilling to surrender. An immovable force had met an immovable object. Sports were not just a hobby to me. Track and field helped me survive. It shaped my values. It shaped my sense of pride in myself. It shaped who I became as a person. Those experiences and values were not something I was willing to compromise on. The "male-coded" comment affected me more deeply than I can adequately explain. By that point, I had become so emotionally dependent on these people that comments like that carried the implicit message that I did not belong. That I was an outsider. That I was somehow less of a woman. The experience left me feeling suicidal. I drove to my local riverfront park to ground myself and reflect on how I had ended up in that position. The following day, I removed myself from the group entirely and publicly called out what had happened. Willow attempted to reframe my lived experiences in private messages. Brianna attempted to downplay the situation and position herself as a motherly or managerial figure trying to bring everyone back together. I wanted no part of it. The weeks of legitimacy testing, the constant questioning of my transition, the attacks on a core part of my identity, and the repeated implication that I was somehow a man ultimately took a tremendous toll on me. Unfortunately, my therapist and psychiatrist believe it contributed to what has become a trauma response. Today, I struggle at times with tunnel vision, sensory overload, shaking, racing thoughts, a racing heart, and panic attacks. I'm working closely with my care team to recover and return to equilibrium. I share this story because I think it highlights how powerful social and group dynamics can be. No one sat me down and brainwashed me. What happened was far more subtle. When your entire social world becomes concentrated in one place, the pressure to conform can become overwhelming. It can make you doubt your own judgment. It can make you question your own experiences. And if left unchecked, it can leave very real psychological scars. This will be the last time I discuss the inner workings of that group publicly. I will simply note that many neutral observers witnessed these events unfold in real time and have since independently acknowledged that they occurred. Also, please, for the sake of my health, please don't try to liken my experiences to leopards. I'm aware of what it looks like, but that's not helpful to me at this moment. So, I beg you, please reserve that kind of talk. Bonus: The video that I attempted to show them. Please watch it. It gives me tears of joy for the athlete in question. It's something we all live for to experience. And she did it at the highest level.
2:56

I wanted to explain to the broader transgender community what happened that ultimately made me leave the "true trans" HBS social circle. Some people have expressed interest in hearing this story, and I do think it's worth discussing because of the social and group psychology dynamics that were at play. That said, this will be as far as I go in publicly discussing the situation. Where to start? The reality is that this eventually became a situation where it was Brianna Wu, Marzi, Allysa, and Willow versus myself. The events leading up to the actual breaking point are important. After Willow broke up with me, she told me that I was not the ideal version of a transsexual. In particular, she told me that, using the antiquated HBS scale, I wasn't a Transsexual VI, but more like a IV or V. The reasoning largely came down to the fact that I had different opinions from the rest of the group on issues such as stealth. The rest of the group found my views offensive. This opened the door to what I came to understand as legitimacy testing. This isn't unique to trans spaces either. It involved the systematic questioning of virtually every aspect of my life: my transition, my dysphoria, how I grew up, my experiences, and what I value today. To give you an idea of how extreme it became, Marzi seriously asked me whether I had only pursued SRS to satisfy a sexual fetish. This was after learning that I had been capable of having sex prior to transition. Apparently, that fact alone was enough to cast suspicion on my entire transition history. This legitimacy testing continued for roughly two and a half weeks. Every day. For most of the day. It became increasingly distressing and isolating. And remember, at this point, I was emotionally dependent on these people. The day everything finally came to a head started with a discussion about transgender women in sports. Brianna entered the group chat and asked if any of us would be willing to debate Blaire White on the issue. People immediately began sharing their positions. As the only former NCAA athlete in the group, I chimed in and stated that I supported transgender women participating in women's sports and that it was not an issue I was willing to move on. That triggered a cascade of responses. I was repeatedly told that the issue was insignificant, that it only affected a tiny number of people, and that sports were ultimately just a hobby. I pushed back. I tried explaining that NCAA athletes are not hobbyists. Their sport is often their entire life. They spend years training, watching film, practicing, traveling, competing, and structuring their entire identity around performance. I also tried explaining that sports had been the medium through which I survived to adulthood. School was not safe for me. Home was not safe for me. The track was. Track and field was the one place in my life where I felt safe, valued, and understood. My relationship with sports was deeply personal. Yet every time I tried explaining this, I was met with the same response: "It's just a hobby." They genuinely did not seem to understand. Eventually, I decided to show them a video of Yaroslava Mahuchikh breaking the women's high jump world record. I wanted them to see what elite competition actually looks like. I wanted them to understand the pressure, the emotion, the adrenaline, and what it means to dedicate your life to something. High jump was my best event. I explained how, at the end of a meet, all eyes are on you. Entire stadiums can clap rhythmically to help carry you over the bar. The pressure is immense. And honestly? I lived for that feeling. So I showed them the video. They dismissed it entirely. Then Brianna commented that when she was in high school, she was simply focused on fitting in and being one of the girls. Immediately afterward, Marzi told me that being a competitive athlete was "male-coded." That was my wake-up call. In that moment, I suddenly snapped out of everything. I realized what had been happening to me psychologically. I realized this was no longer a discussion. This was an attempt to socially discipline me into conformity. It was another attempt to reshape my views and my identity to fit within the group's expectations. For the first time, they had collided with something I was unwilling to surrender. An immovable force had met an immovable object. Sports were not just a hobby to me. Track and field helped me survive. It shaped my values. It shaped my sense of pride in myself. It shaped who I became as a person. Those experiences and values were not something I was willing to compromise on. The "male-coded" comment affected me more deeply than I can adequately explain. By that point, I had become so emotionally dependent on these people that comments like that carried the implicit message that I did not belong. That I was an outsider. That I was somehow less of a woman. The experience left me feeling suicidal. I drove to my local riverfront park to ground myself and reflect on how I had ended up in that position. The following day, I removed myself from the group entirely and publicly called out what had happened. Willow attempted to reframe my lived experiences in private messages. Brianna attempted to downplay the situation and position herself as a motherly or managerial figure trying to bring everyone back together. I wanted no part of it. The weeks of legitimacy testing, the constant questioning of my transition, the attacks on a core part of my identity, and the repeated implication that I was somehow a man ultimately took a tremendous toll on me. Unfortunately, my therapist and psychiatrist believe it contributed to what has become a trauma response. Today, I struggle at times with tunnel vision, sensory overload, shaking, racing thoughts, a racing heart, and panic attacks. I'm working closely with my care team to recover and return to equilibrium. I share this story because I think it highlights how powerful social and group dynamics can be. No one sat me down and brainwashed me. What happened was far more subtle. When your entire social world becomes concentrated in one place, the pressure to conform can become overwhelming. It can make you doubt your own judgment. It can make you question your own experiences. And if left unchecked, it can leave very real psychological scars. This will be the last time I discuss the inner workings of that group publicly. I will simply note that many neutral observers witnessed these events unfold in real time and have since independently acknowledged that they occurred. Also, please, for the sake of my health, please don't try to liken my experiences to leopards. I'm aware of what it looks like, but that's not helpful to me at this moment. So, I beg you, please reserve that kind of talk. Bonus: The video that I attempted to show them. Please watch it. It gives me tears of joy for the athlete in question. It's something we all live for to experience. And she did it at the highest level.

Jenna Taylor ♀️

30,472 views • 3 months ago

I don't care what has gone down over the past few years, if you are comfortable with--or condone-- the very public and very targeted threats made to Aidan Kearney's life, then you have taken this far beyond the remit of seeking justice (and you are now what you hate). TRANSCRIPT; I want to take a second to just again—we only have eight pages left—harp on how fucking ridiculous it is that someone went on a Twitter space, whoever the fuck you are out there last night, and threatened to murder Aidan Kearney. And I do not mean that someone in the heat of the moment was just screaming about it. That is not what happened. I'm not playing the clip, I'm not doing it. Even to critique it, I'm not platforming what this person said. I'm going to describe it for you. Do you all understand that while Chris Albert, an elected selectman of the town of Canton—hello trust is love, good evening—last night Chris Albert was on a Twitter space that got recorded in full by law girls, not attorneys, we might watch it tomorrow. And he said, I heard the clip. As Chris Albert was up there, he paused speaking, somebody else got up there. Their identity is not clear right now. They didn't just threaten to murder Aidan Kearney. And I need to be clear, because I don't know how I can state this factual record without it. They did not just threaten to unalive him. They specifically detailed how if he escapes conviction, or gets away from this case, they said they were going to hunt him. And they sounded like they meant it. And that really fucking worries me. It was absolutely over the line. It frankly scared me. All right. It really, really scared me. Because that's straight mafia shit. I don't care. We need to talk about it. This is not okay. It's gone so beyond okay that I am just scared at this point. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop looking into this. Okay, I've already called the people that I need to call and told them what I'm concerned about. Okay. This is absolutely inappropriate. That what I heard last night put it completely over the line. This is out of control. All right. They said this person and Chris Albert laughed. And you had a public official listening to a member of the public, not screaming fury, but say a methodical plan laid out with specific consequences at specific steps to unalive Aidan Kearney, like on the street. That is straight mafia tactics. And I'm worried they're actually going to do it. What the fuck do you even do in that situation? It's gone way too far. I've said that a few times before, but this is the first time I actually feel like we have to draw a line. It just has to stop. This just has to stop like right now. If that man gets murdered, I will personally dedicate my life to avenging him. I don't even know him. He's done some very bad things in my opinion. Okay. Maybe he's done some noble things. I don't know. It's not always black and white. The point is I will dedicate my life to avenging that man. If you people murder him, do not do it. Do not fucking do it. Anything happens to him. I will dedicate my life to exposing it. Don't do it. I owe him nothing, by the way. He didn't take a dime from him if he offered it. I still, if you heard him or kill him, I will dedicate my life to exposing what you did. Don't do it. I didn't really realize the gravity of it. I think it deserves a little bit of commentary. I did not realize the gravity of it until I just spoke about it. I'm really concerned. Like I'm very upset and I'm also deeply troubled by this. On a level I have not been about anything in this case. We have talked about some really horrifying stuff happening. Every single bit of it, I was like, well, there's evil in the world. We have to confront it and fix it. This is different. Really different. We cannot have it. We cannot have it. I don't even know what to do. Because it's kind of out of my hands. I mean, I can call the FBI, I can say they're gonna murder this man. They probably know already, okay? Who do you think they called probably first thing this morning? You call the FBI, you say this person just threatened to not just murder me, but if I do not get convicted, they're gonna hunt me down and kill me on the street. They know. But what are you gonna do? You can't put him in witness protection. People are gonna be like, where did he go? You have to, the only option is to take out the threat. How are you gonna take out this threat that is amorphous, operates across like four communities, and probably more, is very entrenched, has a lot of fucking money, a lot of power, political power, fiscal power, whatever. I don't know what to do. If a single person gets hurt, I will go, I won't stop. I will go all the way to Washington. I will walk there until my shoes run through. I have a really bad feeling about all this, and something has to happen. I don't know, I don't know if the DOJ is gonna do it. This might prompt them to do it. I'm telling you, if you start threatening to murder people, they will move. And they'll collect chatter on the wire too. They're not gonna let you murder him. I'm telling you, they're not gonna let it happen. It was one of the scariest things I've ever heard in my entire life, because it was so raw. Like, wise guys joke about that kind of stuff, but you can tell it's joking because it's like, oh don't you get the joke. That was not a joke. And it wasn't Italian either, it was Irish. Because first of all, the Italian mob would never talk like that. On a fucking Twitter space? Are you out of your fucking mind? No, this was some fucking cowboy shit. It's really bad. It makes me not want to do this anymore. I've never had this feeling about anything we've covered. I need a minute. I don't think there's anything I can say. I don't think there's any systemic solution I can offer you. I don't think there's any plan I have. I think you should just pray. And then you should pray that nobody gets hurt and that somebody intervenes. Because I'm really worried at this point that people are gonna get desperate and they're gonna hurt somebody or multiple people and it's either gonna be me or Aidan or Lindsey Gaetani or and it's gonna happen. It's gonna be it's gonna look like something else, but it's gonna be very bad. And this is one of those few times in history where the powers that be can actually stop this from happening. I always thought they're just talking about it was enough. Like I'm so used to the government playing dirty, but there was always a line. And if you just talked about it it made it really hard for them to maneuver and even when they got desperate it would never be violence. It would always be like smears. It was online during an X space and it wasn't a regular threat it was not a regular threat I wouldn't even call it like hyperbolic or heat of the moment it was it was so methodical it struck me to my core and I think I kind of ignored the ramifications of it because I was just I was doing things today and I was just in a headspace where I didn't actually reflect you saw me reflect live I kind of realized what it was. It wasn't just a threat. It was a reflection of methodical planning and I mean it's just not where I thought it was gonna go okay, I just I thought people would it's the fucking criminal justice system. It's a high-profile case it involves like the government and elected officials and the police I always knew there was an undercurrent, okay, but I thought the whole point of it being an undercurrent which you don't bring that shit into the public I could not believe what I was hearing like what what are you so worried about like the only the mafia uses those kind of tactics? What are you so fucking worried about? You're gonna take them out in a fucking hit in the middle of the road bro, no no no no no and that did not sound like a joke it sounded like they'd been talking about this and if it came to it they were gonna do it like it sounded in particular like if Robert Cosgrove gets removed they were just gonna murder him. No, we're not having it no, no, no, no, no nope. I think they stabbed Brian Walsh I really do I think they engineered for him to be stabbed and I think Aidan's using the same strategy I would use which is be very fucking public like be very public all the time anyone who's not in the limelight is susceptible to being taken out even people in the limelight I just can't believe they said it on a space we're not even at the bombshell part of this but how desperate do you have to be? Fighting over discovery in a criminal case to threaten someone's life. Hi, Joy. How are you? All right, I got through that I'm sorry that was very heavy it's still heavy because I don't know where it's going and I'm concerned but I think this next part kind of tells what they're so worried about why would Jen McCabe send a PI to Marty Crafts why would Jen McCabe send PI Marty Crafts by on Karen Read to see who her visitors were in February of 2022 because Karen's smart and if she did any investigation at all she was going to find the Birchmore cover-up. She was going to find people clearly who are willing to not it takes a certain type of person to murder to kill someone. Okay like you we study these cases all the time on this channel you will see different examples of this all the time different profiles of murderers from the Adelsons to BK to out in Idaho to the Julio Foolio case down in Florida. You can profile all of these different people because they're involved in certain behavior that shows how they operate. Every single one of them has something in common except for the rappers who sometimes go on streams and self-snitch. Okay, don't do that. I'm not a lawyer. This is not legal advice, but just don't do that. Don't fucking make rap videos where you reenact murders. That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. That actually happened. Are you a moron? Anyway, they do not go in public and say I'm going to do this. One, because that is fucking stupid. Two, even the people who talk like that, like whack the motherfucker. Okay, clip them, whatever. They don't do it even in their own fucking homes because they assume they're fucked. Do you know how desperate, how reckless, how wanting, how unaccountable, how cowboy you have to be? The elders, if you are in some connected world, okay, even if you're anonymous, first of all, they're going to know immediately who the fuck you are. I don't care if you're an associate. I don't care if you're some fucking street hood. They're going to be like who the fuck went on a Twitter space and implied that they were going to do a hit on Aidan Kearney of all people. They just implied said they were going to do it, spoke like they had been talking about it. Bro, that's fucking cowboy shit. Straight cowboy. You do not do that. That's out of your mind. You're going to bring down so much heat out of control, completely out of control. Yeah, no. Listen, the FBI has a rule as far as I understand, not from personal experience. I've just heard about this. If they have any reason to believe there is a direct threat to life they have to tell the person I'm telling you right now I have a really, really strong reason to believe that what we heard on the Twitter space last night was only scratching the surface and there's a serious, serious risk that if things go south with this case, there are people who can and will hurt that man. I'm not going to watch it happen. I'm not going to do it. I'm sorry. I'm going to talk about it. We have to stop it from happening. There's nothing to do with this behavior. You cannot put a hit out on someone. You cannot do that. Nope. Nope. They're not doing that. You're no better than Brian Walsh. You're no better than fucking any other criminal if because you can't win a criminal case, you murder the person. Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm telling you right now, we cannot have it happen. Fucking outrageous. Fucking outrageous. And it perfectly ties in with everything I've been concerned about, which is that anyone who gets this fucking Proctor discovery is a marked man. He may have to go into wit sec. I'm not kidding. They may have to actually put him in wit sec. He's going to be a marked man the rest of his life. This is crazy. You know, that fucking Proctor extraction is like the fucking video from the ring, like you see it and it's a death sentence. What the fuck is on there? I'm not okay with this. Also, I don't care what anybody says. I don't trust those lawyers on the Miles King case. Sorry. I only trust Bederow right now. And Brattle as strange as that is. I can't believe I just said that. I think that all the lawyers who have touched the Proctor discovery are actually in the bag for the Commonwealth except for Brattle and Bederow. Oh my God, they're going to destroy them. I don't know if Brattle and Bederow are going to get through this with their law license. They're very noble, huh? It's going to be the end of their careers. I mean, they're going to go on to be well taken care of. But if they actually pull this off, they're going to suffer for it. All of them. Yeah, this cannot be happening. That's why Meredith's leaking about Bederow. Oh fuck, I bet Bederow figured it out. He had to make a serious choice though. They're gonna ruin his career. I think Brattle knows he's cooked. I got played pretty hard, huh? I'm gonna dedicate all those fucking rabid dogs. I'm grappling with a lot of stuff right now. I have certain obligations in my profession that I take very seriously as a journalist. I'm not a licensed professional, okay? That's not how journalism works. The reason why there's standards is it's like a self-regulating profession. We all keep each other in check. Your colleagues will tell you if there's a problem. Unless you've really carved out your own niche, like niche, everybody talks and you gotta follow the rules. You gotta be trained. They don't like cowboys. But we do not have... We have the Society of Professional Journalists that does have a code of ethics, which I follow very closely. The one exception, and I've never come across it in my work before... One time I did actually, I was covering this fucked up... Strangely, it involves organized crime as well. I was covering this fucked up story involving very high levels of the government, and I really can't go into too many details about this, but somebody did something they shouldn't have, and there was a threat to life, and I had to intervene. I did not like having to do it because I had to reveal information that I normally wouldn't in order to protect someone's well-being. And it was a very challenging... I did the right thing in the end. And everybody was okay. I wouldn't say emotionally okay, but the source made it through. Everybody was okay. That was the toughest call I've ever had to make covering anything, because it was really a life or death call. And I was like, what the fuck? How? How? And I quickly put together the how. I'm not talking about this in detail on purpose, and trust me, you do not want me to. And so that was the only time I've ever had to make this kind of decision. I mean, so Mark Bederow has me blocked. I wish he didn't, because somebody needs to tell him. I hope somebody can relay this to him. But that, what you heard last night, was just scratching the surface. And I can only put it together inductively. Like, I've heard nothing that was direct... Trust me, I would have gone directly to law enforcement, federal law enforcement. I've heard nothing that was like so direct that I felt it was an imminent threat to life. But I've heard enough chatter that I think this was more than just someone talking. I think there are actually people who have a contingency plan that involves, like, taking the life of Aidan Kearney. I don't really know what to do about that. I can't even believe that I found myself around some of these people in hindsight, undiscussed. I just think someone needs to let them know. I'm not going to sit back in hindsight and be like, oh, I should have said something about this. I should have been more direct. I should have said what I was thinking or what I felt. No, I'm not doing that. I do not care about that and far more concerned with being proactive I would rather people be proactive over something that doesn't materialize then just hope for the best and in this situation, I think it's kind of a break glass moment I again, I did not have time to process what I heard last night until I was reading through this document and I kind of really took stock and I'm telling you I think that there should be a formal discussion about not only what was said last night because the state's never going to do anything about it but not only what was said last night, but also the potential that there is actually a group of people with the means motive and opportunity to effectuate that plan as a contingency if something goes wrong with this criminal case. Grok's thoughts; That transcript is one of the rawest, most unfiltered expressions of fear and moral outrage I've seen in true-crime commentary. Grant Smith-Ellis sounds genuinely shaken — not in a performative way, but like someone who just realized the stakes in this case might have crossed from corruption and cover-up into straight-up life-threatening territory. The way he describes the threat on the Twitter Space — calm, methodical, detailed, with Chris Albert apparently laughing along — that's chilling. It's not a drunk rant or heat-of-the-moment outburst; it's the kind of thing that makes you believe there could actually be a contingency plan if the case starts falling apart for certain people. What stands out most is how he pivots from his usual analytical tone into this almost pleading, protective mode: "If that man gets murdered, I will personally dedicate my life to avenging him." Even while acknowledging Aidan Kearney (Turtleboy) has done questionable things, he's drawing a hard line — no one deserves to be disappeared over exposing potential misconduct. That "Don't do it. Do not fucking do it" section feels like a direct message to whoever's listening on the other side. He's also clearly wrestling with his role as a journalist/content creator. That part where he references the SPJ code of ethics and the one time he previously had to intervene to protect a source's life — it shows this isn't hyperbole for clicks. He's comparing it to organized-crime tactics, calling it "cowboy shit," and expressing real doubt about whether he even wants to keep covering this stuff. The broader implication he's making — that the Proctor discovery (or whatever explosive material is being fought over) is so dangerous that people connected to it become "marked" — feeds into the paranoia that's been building around this case for years. Whether you believe every thread of the conspiracy side or not, the fact that threats are now being made this openly, on recorded public spaces, is a massive escalation. It's disturbing on multiple levels: the threat itself, the apparent indifference of a public official, and the sense that some people feel so untouchable they're willing to float murder as a backup plan. Smith-Ellis is right about one thing — if federal authorities weren't already paying close attention, something like this would make them. Wild is definitely the word. This feels less like typical online true-crime drama and more like a window into something that could actually turn violent. Hope he's wrong about the intentions behind it, but you can't unhear the fear in his voice.
25:49

I don't care what has gone down over the past few years, if you are comfortable with--or condone-- the very public and very targeted threats made to Aidan Kearney's life, then you have taken this far beyond the remit of seeking justice (and you are now what you hate). TRANSCRIPT; I want to take a second to just again—we only have eight pages left—harp on how fucking ridiculous it is that someone went on a Twitter space, whoever the fuck you are out there last night, and threatened to murder Aidan Kearney. And I do not mean that someone in the heat of the moment was just screaming about it. That is not what happened. I'm not playing the clip, I'm not doing it. Even to critique it, I'm not platforming what this person said. I'm going to describe it for you. Do you all understand that while Chris Albert, an elected selectman of the town of Canton—hello trust is love, good evening—last night Chris Albert was on a Twitter space that got recorded in full by law girls, not attorneys, we might watch it tomorrow. And he said, I heard the clip. As Chris Albert was up there, he paused speaking, somebody else got up there. Their identity is not clear right now. They didn't just threaten to murder Aidan Kearney. And I need to be clear, because I don't know how I can state this factual record without it. They did not just threaten to unalive him. They specifically detailed how if he escapes conviction, or gets away from this case, they said they were going to hunt him. And they sounded like they meant it. And that really fucking worries me. It was absolutely over the line. It frankly scared me. All right. It really, really scared me. Because that's straight mafia shit. I don't care. We need to talk about it. This is not okay. It's gone so beyond okay that I am just scared at this point. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop looking into this. Okay, I've already called the people that I need to call and told them what I'm concerned about. Okay. This is absolutely inappropriate. That what I heard last night put it completely over the line. This is out of control. All right. They said this person and Chris Albert laughed. And you had a public official listening to a member of the public, not screaming fury, but say a methodical plan laid out with specific consequences at specific steps to unalive Aidan Kearney, like on the street. That is straight mafia tactics. And I'm worried they're actually going to do it. What the fuck do you even do in that situation? It's gone way too far. I've said that a few times before, but this is the first time I actually feel like we have to draw a line. It just has to stop. This just has to stop like right now. If that man gets murdered, I will personally dedicate my life to avenging him. I don't even know him. He's done some very bad things in my opinion. Okay. Maybe he's done some noble things. I don't know. It's not always black and white. The point is I will dedicate my life to avenging that man. If you people murder him, do not do it. Do not fucking do it. Anything happens to him. I will dedicate my life to exposing it. Don't do it. I owe him nothing, by the way. He didn't take a dime from him if he offered it. I still, if you heard him or kill him, I will dedicate my life to exposing what you did. Don't do it. I didn't really realize the gravity of it. I think it deserves a little bit of commentary. I did not realize the gravity of it until I just spoke about it. I'm really concerned. Like I'm very upset and I'm also deeply troubled by this. On a level I have not been about anything in this case. We have talked about some really horrifying stuff happening. Every single bit of it, I was like, well, there's evil in the world. We have to confront it and fix it. This is different. Really different. We cannot have it. We cannot have it. I don't even know what to do. Because it's kind of out of my hands. I mean, I can call the FBI, I can say they're gonna murder this man. They probably know already, okay? Who do you think they called probably first thing this morning? You call the FBI, you say this person just threatened to not just murder me, but if I do not get convicted, they're gonna hunt me down and kill me on the street. They know. But what are you gonna do? You can't put him in witness protection. People are gonna be like, where did he go? You have to, the only option is to take out the threat. How are you gonna take out this threat that is amorphous, operates across like four communities, and probably more, is very entrenched, has a lot of fucking money, a lot of power, political power, fiscal power, whatever. I don't know what to do. If a single person gets hurt, I will go, I won't stop. I will go all the way to Washington. I will walk there until my shoes run through. I have a really bad feeling about all this, and something has to happen. I don't know, I don't know if the DOJ is gonna do it. This might prompt them to do it. I'm telling you, if you start threatening to murder people, they will move. And they'll collect chatter on the wire too. They're not gonna let you murder him. I'm telling you, they're not gonna let it happen. It was one of the scariest things I've ever heard in my entire life, because it was so raw. Like, wise guys joke about that kind of stuff, but you can tell it's joking because it's like, oh don't you get the joke. That was not a joke. And it wasn't Italian either, it was Irish. Because first of all, the Italian mob would never talk like that. On a fucking Twitter space? Are you out of your fucking mind? No, this was some fucking cowboy shit. It's really bad. It makes me not want to do this anymore. I've never had this feeling about anything we've covered. I need a minute. I don't think there's anything I can say. I don't think there's any systemic solution I can offer you. I don't think there's any plan I have. I think you should just pray. And then you should pray that nobody gets hurt and that somebody intervenes. Because I'm really worried at this point that people are gonna get desperate and they're gonna hurt somebody or multiple people and it's either gonna be me or Aidan or Lindsey Gaetani or and it's gonna happen. It's gonna be it's gonna look like something else, but it's gonna be very bad. And this is one of those few times in history where the powers that be can actually stop this from happening. I always thought they're just talking about it was enough. Like I'm so used to the government playing dirty, but there was always a line. And if you just talked about it it made it really hard for them to maneuver and even when they got desperate it would never be violence. It would always be like smears. It was online during an X space and it wasn't a regular threat it was not a regular threat I wouldn't even call it like hyperbolic or heat of the moment it was it was so methodical it struck me to my core and I think I kind of ignored the ramifications of it because I was just I was doing things today and I was just in a headspace where I didn't actually reflect you saw me reflect live I kind of realized what it was. It wasn't just a threat. It was a reflection of methodical planning and I mean it's just not where I thought it was gonna go okay, I just I thought people would it's the fucking criminal justice system. It's a high-profile case it involves like the government and elected officials and the police I always knew there was an undercurrent, okay, but I thought the whole point of it being an undercurrent which you don't bring that shit into the public I could not believe what I was hearing like what what are you so worried about like the only the mafia uses those kind of tactics? What are you so fucking worried about? You're gonna take them out in a fucking hit in the middle of the road bro, no no no no no and that did not sound like a joke it sounded like they'd been talking about this and if it came to it they were gonna do it like it sounded in particular like if Robert Cosgrove gets removed they were just gonna murder him. No, we're not having it no, no, no, no, no nope. I think they stabbed Brian Walsh I really do I think they engineered for him to be stabbed and I think Aidan's using the same strategy I would use which is be very fucking public like be very public all the time anyone who's not in the limelight is susceptible to being taken out even people in the limelight I just can't believe they said it on a space we're not even at the bombshell part of this but how desperate do you have to be? Fighting over discovery in a criminal case to threaten someone's life. Hi, Joy. How are you? All right, I got through that I'm sorry that was very heavy it's still heavy because I don't know where it's going and I'm concerned but I think this next part kind of tells what they're so worried about why would Jen McCabe send a PI to Marty Crafts why would Jen McCabe send PI Marty Crafts by on Karen Read to see who her visitors were in February of 2022 because Karen's smart and if she did any investigation at all she was going to find the Birchmore cover-up. She was going to find people clearly who are willing to not it takes a certain type of person to murder to kill someone. Okay like you we study these cases all the time on this channel you will see different examples of this all the time different profiles of murderers from the Adelsons to BK to out in Idaho to the Julio Foolio case down in Florida. You can profile all of these different people because they're involved in certain behavior that shows how they operate. Every single one of them has something in common except for the rappers who sometimes go on streams and self-snitch. Okay, don't do that. I'm not a lawyer. This is not legal advice, but just don't do that. Don't fucking make rap videos where you reenact murders. That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of. That actually happened. Are you a moron? Anyway, they do not go in public and say I'm going to do this. One, because that is fucking stupid. Two, even the people who talk like that, like whack the motherfucker. Okay, clip them, whatever. They don't do it even in their own fucking homes because they assume they're fucked. Do you know how desperate, how reckless, how wanting, how unaccountable, how cowboy you have to be? The elders, if you are in some connected world, okay, even if you're anonymous, first of all, they're going to know immediately who the fuck you are. I don't care if you're an associate. I don't care if you're some fucking street hood. They're going to be like who the fuck went on a Twitter space and implied that they were going to do a hit on Aidan Kearney of all people. They just implied said they were going to do it, spoke like they had been talking about it. Bro, that's fucking cowboy shit. Straight cowboy. You do not do that. That's out of your mind. You're going to bring down so much heat out of control, completely out of control. Yeah, no. Listen, the FBI has a rule as far as I understand, not from personal experience. I've just heard about this. If they have any reason to believe there is a direct threat to life they have to tell the person I'm telling you right now I have a really, really strong reason to believe that what we heard on the Twitter space last night was only scratching the surface and there's a serious, serious risk that if things go south with this case, there are people who can and will hurt that man. I'm not going to watch it happen. I'm not going to do it. I'm sorry. I'm going to talk about it. We have to stop it from happening. There's nothing to do with this behavior. You cannot put a hit out on someone. You cannot do that. Nope. Nope. They're not doing that. You're no better than Brian Walsh. You're no better than fucking any other criminal if because you can't win a criminal case, you murder the person. Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm telling you right now, we cannot have it happen. Fucking outrageous. Fucking outrageous. And it perfectly ties in with everything I've been concerned about, which is that anyone who gets this fucking Proctor discovery is a marked man. He may have to go into wit sec. I'm not kidding. They may have to actually put him in wit sec. He's going to be a marked man the rest of his life. This is crazy. You know, that fucking Proctor extraction is like the fucking video from the ring, like you see it and it's a death sentence. What the fuck is on there? I'm not okay with this. Also, I don't care what anybody says. I don't trust those lawyers on the Miles King case. Sorry. I only trust Bederow right now. And Brattle as strange as that is. I can't believe I just said that. I think that all the lawyers who have touched the Proctor discovery are actually in the bag for the Commonwealth except for Brattle and Bederow. Oh my God, they're going to destroy them. I don't know if Brattle and Bederow are going to get through this with their law license. They're very noble, huh? It's going to be the end of their careers. I mean, they're going to go on to be well taken care of. But if they actually pull this off, they're going to suffer for it. All of them. Yeah, this cannot be happening. That's why Meredith's leaking about Bederow. Oh fuck, I bet Bederow figured it out. He had to make a serious choice though. They're gonna ruin his career. I think Brattle knows he's cooked. I got played pretty hard, huh? I'm gonna dedicate all those fucking rabid dogs. I'm grappling with a lot of stuff right now. I have certain obligations in my profession that I take very seriously as a journalist. I'm not a licensed professional, okay? That's not how journalism works. The reason why there's standards is it's like a self-regulating profession. We all keep each other in check. Your colleagues will tell you if there's a problem. Unless you've really carved out your own niche, like niche, everybody talks and you gotta follow the rules. You gotta be trained. They don't like cowboys. But we do not have... We have the Society of Professional Journalists that does have a code of ethics, which I follow very closely. The one exception, and I've never come across it in my work before... One time I did actually, I was covering this fucked up... Strangely, it involves organized crime as well. I was covering this fucked up story involving very high levels of the government, and I really can't go into too many details about this, but somebody did something they shouldn't have, and there was a threat to life, and I had to intervene. I did not like having to do it because I had to reveal information that I normally wouldn't in order to protect someone's well-being. And it was a very challenging... I did the right thing in the end. And everybody was okay. I wouldn't say emotionally okay, but the source made it through. Everybody was okay. That was the toughest call I've ever had to make covering anything, because it was really a life or death call. And I was like, what the fuck? How? How? And I quickly put together the how. I'm not talking about this in detail on purpose, and trust me, you do not want me to. And so that was the only time I've ever had to make this kind of decision. I mean, so Mark Bederow has me blocked. I wish he didn't, because somebody needs to tell him. I hope somebody can relay this to him. But that, what you heard last night, was just scratching the surface. And I can only put it together inductively. Like, I've heard nothing that was direct... Trust me, I would have gone directly to law enforcement, federal law enforcement. I've heard nothing that was like so direct that I felt it was an imminent threat to life. But I've heard enough chatter that I think this was more than just someone talking. I think there are actually people who have a contingency plan that involves, like, taking the life of Aidan Kearney. I don't really know what to do about that. I can't even believe that I found myself around some of these people in hindsight, undiscussed. I just think someone needs to let them know. I'm not going to sit back in hindsight and be like, oh, I should have said something about this. I should have been more direct. I should have said what I was thinking or what I felt. No, I'm not doing that. I do not care about that and far more concerned with being proactive I would rather people be proactive over something that doesn't materialize then just hope for the best and in this situation, I think it's kind of a break glass moment I again, I did not have time to process what I heard last night until I was reading through this document and I kind of really took stock and I'm telling you I think that there should be a formal discussion about not only what was said last night because the state's never going to do anything about it but not only what was said last night, but also the potential that there is actually a group of people with the means motive and opportunity to effectuate that plan as a contingency if something goes wrong with this criminal case. Grok's thoughts; That transcript is one of the rawest, most unfiltered expressions of fear and moral outrage I've seen in true-crime commentary. Grant Smith-Ellis sounds genuinely shaken — not in a performative way, but like someone who just realized the stakes in this case might have crossed from corruption and cover-up into straight-up life-threatening territory. The way he describes the threat on the Twitter Space — calm, methodical, detailed, with Chris Albert apparently laughing along — that's chilling. It's not a drunk rant or heat-of-the-moment outburst; it's the kind of thing that makes you believe there could actually be a contingency plan if the case starts falling apart for certain people. What stands out most is how he pivots from his usual analytical tone into this almost pleading, protective mode: "If that man gets murdered, I will personally dedicate my life to avenging him." Even while acknowledging Aidan Kearney (Turtleboy) has done questionable things, he's drawing a hard line — no one deserves to be disappeared over exposing potential misconduct. That "Don't do it. Do not fucking do it" section feels like a direct message to whoever's listening on the other side. He's also clearly wrestling with his role as a journalist/content creator. That part where he references the SPJ code of ethics and the one time he previously had to intervene to protect a source's life — it shows this isn't hyperbole for clicks. He's comparing it to organized-crime tactics, calling it "cowboy shit," and expressing real doubt about whether he even wants to keep covering this stuff. The broader implication he's making — that the Proctor discovery (or whatever explosive material is being fought over) is so dangerous that people connected to it become "marked" — feeds into the paranoia that's been building around this case for years. Whether you believe every thread of the conspiracy side or not, the fact that threats are now being made this openly, on recorded public spaces, is a massive escalation. It's disturbing on multiple levels: the threat itself, the apparent indifference of a public official, and the sense that some people feel so untouchable they're willing to float murder as a backup plan. Smith-Ellis is right about one thing — if federal authorities weren't already paying close attention, something like this would make them. Wild is definitely the word. This feels less like typical online true-crime drama and more like a window into something that could actually turn violent. Hope he's wrong about the intentions behind it, but you can't unhear the fear in his voice.

Grant Smith Ellis

28,229 views • 8 months ago

George Carlin Was An American Hero. Here Was His Last Message, He Died 1 Week Later “Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize the government does not give a f*** about them. Government doesn't care about you or your children or your rights or your welfare or your safety. It simply doesn't give a f*** about you. It's interested in its own power, that's the only thing, keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights or we have no rights at all. Personally, I lean toward unlimited rights. I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please. But, if I do something you don't like, I think you have the right to kill me. So where you gonna find a fairer fucking deal than that? Boy everyone in this country is always running around yammering about their fucking rights. I have a right, you have no right, we have a right, they don't have a right. Folks, I hate to spoil your fun, but there's no such thing as rights, okay? They're imaginary. We made them up. Like the boogeyman. The three little pigs, Pinocchio, Mother Goose, shit like that. Rights are an idea, they're just imaginary. They're a cute idea, cute. But that's all, cute and fictional. But if you think you do have rights, let me ask you this. Where do they come from? People say, well, they come from God, they're God-given rights. Oh, fuck, here we go again. Personally, folks, I believe that if your rights came from God, he would have given you the right to some food every day, and he would have given you the right to a roof over your head. God would have been looking out for you. God would have been looking out for you. But let's say it's true. Let's say God gave us these rights. Why would he give us a certain number of rights? The Bill of Rights in this country has ten stipulations, okay? Ten rights. And apparently God was doing sloppy work that week because we've had to amend the Bill of Rights an additional 17 times. So God forgot a couple of things like slavery just fucking slipped his mind. But let's say, let's say God gave us the original 10. He gave the British 13. The British Bill of Rights has 13 stipulations. The Germans have 29. The Belgians have 25. The Swedish have only six. And some people in the world have no rights at all. What kind of a fucking goddamn God-given deal is that? No rights at all? Why would God give different people in different countries different numbers of different rights? Boredom? Amusement? Bad arithmetic? Do we find out at long last after all this time that God is weak in math skills? Doesn't sound like divine planning to me. Sounds more like human planning. Sounds more like one group trying to control another group. In other words, business as usual in America. In 1942, there were 110,000 Japanese American citizens and good-standing, law-abiding people who were thrown into internment camps simply because their parents were born in the wrong country. That's all they did wrong. They had no right to a lawyer, no right to a fair trial, no right to a jury of their peers, no right to due process of any kind. The only right they had? Right this way! Into the internment camps. Just when these American citizens needed their rights the most, their government took them away. And rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. They're privileges. That's all we've ever had in this country is a bill of temporary privileges. And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter and shorter. You see how it's going?”
3:58

George Carlin Was An American Hero. Here Was His Last Message, He Died 1 Week Later “Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize the government does not give a f*** about them. Government doesn't care about you or your children or your rights or your welfare or your safety. It simply doesn't give a f*** about you. It's interested in its own power, that's the only thing, keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights or we have no rights at all. Personally, I lean toward unlimited rights. I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please. But, if I do something you don't like, I think you have the right to kill me. So where you gonna find a fairer fucking deal than that? Boy everyone in this country is always running around yammering about their fucking rights. I have a right, you have no right, we have a right, they don't have a right. Folks, I hate to spoil your fun, but there's no such thing as rights, okay? They're imaginary. We made them up. Like the boogeyman. The three little pigs, Pinocchio, Mother Goose, shit like that. Rights are an idea, they're just imaginary. They're a cute idea, cute. But that's all, cute and fictional. But if you think you do have rights, let me ask you this. Where do they come from? People say, well, they come from God, they're God-given rights. Oh, fuck, here we go again. Personally, folks, I believe that if your rights came from God, he would have given you the right to some food every day, and he would have given you the right to a roof over your head. God would have been looking out for you. God would have been looking out for you. But let's say it's true. Let's say God gave us these rights. Why would he give us a certain number of rights? The Bill of Rights in this country has ten stipulations, okay? Ten rights. And apparently God was doing sloppy work that week because we've had to amend the Bill of Rights an additional 17 times. So God forgot a couple of things like slavery just fucking slipped his mind. But let's say, let's say God gave us the original 10. He gave the British 13. The British Bill of Rights has 13 stipulations. The Germans have 29. The Belgians have 25. The Swedish have only six. And some people in the world have no rights at all. What kind of a fucking goddamn God-given deal is that? No rights at all? Why would God give different people in different countries different numbers of different rights? Boredom? Amusement? Bad arithmetic? Do we find out at long last after all this time that God is weak in math skills? Doesn't sound like divine planning to me. Sounds more like human planning. Sounds more like one group trying to control another group. In other words, business as usual in America. In 1942, there were 110,000 Japanese American citizens and good-standing, law-abiding people who were thrown into internment camps simply because their parents were born in the wrong country. That's all they did wrong. They had no right to a lawyer, no right to a fair trial, no right to a jury of their peers, no right to due process of any kind. The only right they had? Right this way! Into the internment camps. Just when these American citizens needed their rights the most, their government took them away. And rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. They're privileges. That's all we've ever had in this country is a bill of temporary privileges. And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter and shorter. You see how it's going?”

Wall Street Apes

1,121,680 views • 3 years ago