USELESS MAGICAL ITEMS

All Parts

Imagine a bagpipe war song being played, but you can’t tell where it’s coming from. They are loud enough to roll over the hills and make the direction nearly impossible to pinpoint but now there’s no chance of seeing the player at all. The enemy army could be anywhere… or nowhere.

Theory: there’s two kinds of bagpipe music. The good stuff, and the music they use to scare the English away.

Useless Magical Item The ring of invisibility. You put the ring on and IT turns invisible, not you.

If Scotland just pulled an invisibility cloak, we're all in trouble

The bagpipes would absolutely be useful. An unbearably loud distraction that nobody can see? Would have entire enemy camps scrambling.

Holy fuck the bagpipes of invisibility hahaha

Counterpoint to the Bagpipes of Invisibility... a second person with the spell Silence at the ready, casted before the bagpipes play. No one said the Bagpipes of Invisibility had to be played well for it to work.

We can't see you But, we can HEAR you

Honestly, if I were a bad guy in some dungeon and a guy's trying to sneak past with those bag-pipes, I'd let them go. Guy's bringing some top-notch music to the dungeon after all. lol

Lol these are great. Love your work.

If the potion of perpetual girth can work like a splash potion then that's a one hit kiII projectile you've got ...just gotta make sure you're outside the blast radius

Not to be that guy, but that's specifically NOT how bagpipes work. The bag is there to hold the sound between breaths. You know what? I am that guy.

nuh uh, the bagpipes can be used as a distraction and such. if you're using it well you can be like a TF2 Spy using voice lines around confused enemies. anyways, just be creative and you can make it useful.

Perpetual girth could be very useful for generating fuel. Lipid tissue is still oil as shown by whale oil. This could theoretically be a source of infinite fuel.

Okay but imagine Scotsman being an absolute menace with it as he stalks Aku's castle

I mean the potion can be useful. Either they will be unable to fight or straight up explode.

The potion seems useful if you can get your enemy to drink it

bagpipes of invisibility would go hard buffing scots and spreading fear and confusion to enemies on a Battlefield as they are trying to find out where its coming from but due to its own nature its already hard to pinpoint as you're trying to fight off buffed scots.

No adventure is worth doing if it doesn't have chaos.

There should be a random effect + random Item list in the DM Handbook to create stuff like this per accident aka dice roll on the fly. It whould be too funny.

@MoobDude you would love part 3 drink responsibly

im sorry but if an invisible bagpipe played every morning, it would damage my psyche more than an elder brain ever dreamed

All of these are hilarious! 😅😅😂🤣

Bagpipes of invisibility still give your enemies disadvantage to hit you lol

Hahaha!! Wonderful! Please do more!

🤣🤣🤣

Okay the bagpipes one is actually scary as there's nothing more terrifying than hearing bagpipes and not seeing where they're coming from.

Just gonna write a few of these down, see what the party might think of them showing up in the campaign.

how are there not more of these?!

Okay but I'm just imagining someone being TORMENTED by the bagpipe music that seems to follow them everywhere and they have no idea where the sound is coming from, exactly

During our campaign, my dragonborn character collected useless magical junk to add to his dragon's hoard. I had a nightcap of pleasant dreams, a pacifier that puts anybody who picks up to sleep for a day, and a club enchanted with irresistible dance but does no damage.