What Would You Even Call This Weapon??

Its a cudgel.... A long spiked cudgel is most commonly known as a lang ya bang (Wolf's tooth cudgel) in Chinese history, or a kanabō (or tetsubō) in feudal Japan

It's a mace

A tetsubo.

that is a Horseman's Mace..

A spiked two-handed mace.

It's a Kanabo

morgenstern

The Thing That Constantly Gets Stuck In My Enemies

I'd call it a tetsubo, but I don't know the origin of it, so "enhanced stick" will do for now. ;)

A gob-smacker

Cactus Smasher. Interesting design. Looks like tetsubo had romance with Goedendag.

I would call him "George", or possibly "Two-Handed Spiked Mace"

"This thing is called the Thagomizer. After the late Thag Simmons." 😆

That is a morning star or Morgenstern.

You’re going to show me this but then not have watermelons in armor to whack? Brother.

It’s called Morgenstern.

I don't know... effective?

Spiky club.

Lucille

Baseball bat goedendag?

A plançon à picots?

Stick +5

I have one. I just call it “Mr. Backscratcher.” Also recommended for tenderizing beef 🥩. Instructions recommend washing in between dual usage for some reason 🤷‍♂️

reminds me of those japanese clubs everyone loves those

Schlechten Tag

The Rectum Wrecker

i call it the sense stick cuz ill use it to beat some sense into you real quick

I'll stick with goedendag. Not sure if it's technically a goedendag, but the concept of wishing someone a good day and then caving their face in is hilarious.

I believe that’s called a mace?

It seems to fall into the category of 'mace' to me.

It's obviously a type of mace, so "long mace" would make sense

A spiked war mace

Thumpy