WOULD YOU STOP, OR WOULD YOU BOOK IT?

Remember, folks: if a sweet old banjo-plucker with a thick Southern drawl tells you not to go wanderin’ in them there woods… that’s not folksy charm. That’s a warning. Listen to the man.

Banjo never lies

the fact she doesn't 100% know her husband's name is definitely a red flag

Kevin never existed

I learned from Men in Black to not trust Little Tiffany

Kevin’s not missing. Kevin’s recruiting.

I'm hauling ass faster than Forest Gump.

"I think his names Kevin" so anyway, I started casting fireball

Flawless Logic!

Grim Prairie Tales, anyone..?

When it has that many red flags? Only one thing to do!