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How are insecure attachments repaired? This week I’ve been exploring the concept of attachment (a deep emotional bond created between parents and their children during the earliest months and years of life). In doing so I’ve focused primarily on the goal of secure attachment. But not all attachments begin securely. Which begs a pair of questions: What causes insecure attachments and how can they be strengthened? While anxious and disorganized attachment types can certainly result from erratic parenting, the toxic stress created by unsafe environments, and/or abuse and neglect, it’s important to keep in mind that early relational challenges occur on a broad spectrum of severity and sometimes aren’t the result of any parental shortcoming at all. In fact, some root causes may not even be within parental control. Children born extremely prematurely, for example, may spend weeks or months in a neonatal intensive care unit. While essential to their survival, the situation can limit early interaction with even the most attentive and well equipped parents. What else might impact attachment quality? The list is likely a long one. Severe postpartum depression, a prolonged military deployment… anything that might present a barrier to strong relational health between a parent and child. In complex (traumatic) cases of disorganized attachment, families may require a combination of specialized infant mental health services, therapy, and other professional supports. But in many cases the solution is as simple as a heaping dose of what was missing in the first place: predictably warm and responsive interactions. Children are remarkably resilient - and while it may take time to create updated patterns of interaction and establish them as the “new normal,” insecure attachments can often become secure with focused effort. So take heart. And watch as secure attachment begins to take hold. —— This happy (and securely attached!) duo was shared to IG by tiny.charmzz.

Dan Wuori

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