Hoodlum 🇺🇸

@NotHoodlum • 228,726 subscribers

Commentary • Satirical Emeritus • Highlights: https://t.co/346RRUl7n3

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Hoodlum 🇺🇸

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Elect a clown, expect a circus. And boy, did we get one.

Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary was asked if he’d add Starlink to the airline’s 650-plane fleet. He called Musk an idiot, saying the antennas would raise fuel burn by 2%, costing $250M a year, and called X a cesspit. Musk now wants to buy Ryanair for $35B.

Trump is canceling a series of concerts commemorating the country’s 250th anniversary after a slew of artists dropped out and is giving a speech instead.

Not the Steve Miller Band we wanted. I did Nazi this coming.

The hits keep on coming. 😂

Donald Trump is scheduled to be at Walter Reed tomorrow for his fourth annual physical exam in 15 months. Apparently, unaware of the meaning of annual.

Can you give me directions to Walter Reed?

Eric Trump calls the Ayatollah’s son an incompetent moron who only got his position through nepotism. Irony is dead.

It's sad, so sad, it's a sad, sad situation And it's getting more and more absurd.

Trump claimed that painting the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool would cost $1.8 million. Now the project has ballooned to $13.1 million. Isn’t this exactly what he tried to indict Jerome Powell for, cost overruns?”#CompleteHypocrites

“I have secured an indictment against Jenny. This bitch will think twice before she threatens the president again.” — Extreme alcohol enthusiast, Jeanine Pirro

Here’s the Mexican Marines removing signs warning that the Mexican beach is a restricted area by the US Department of Defense.

I don’t have a problem with him falling asleep. It’s the waking up part I have a huge issue with.

He was detained in Newark and spent five hours in a prison cell at the airport. He was threatened with a $5,000 fine and five years in prison if he didn't turn over his social media passwords. When they found the meme of JD Vance, he was sent back to Oslo.

Elon Musk responds to Susie Wiles, who said he is an avowed ketamine user and sleeps in a sleeping bag in the Executive Office Building during the daytime.

Please do not retweet this. We have enough problems without letting our enemies know that 105,000 Trumpsters will be at the UFC at the White House on Sunday, June 14, 2026.

When your sister and the Kardashians get invited to the Bezos-Sánchez wedding, but you don’t — you can always trash it up at Mar-a-Lago.”

Better lawyer up ABC and Brendan Carr.

NEW: Jeff Bezos has another opinion: “We’ve commissioned Kanye West to design Lauren’s wedding gown. We were looking for something subtle yet classy.”

Bruce Springsteen, Foo Fighters, and Dave Matthews, will headline the star-studded protest festival “Power to the People,” on Oct. 3 at Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, Maryland. Proceeds from all ticket sales will benefit the organizations VoteRiders and HeadCount.

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Stephen Colbert’s replacement, Byron Allen’s Comics Unleashed, ratings have dropped 85%. Good job, CBS. 👏

Trump’s spiritual advisor, Paula White, has agreed to perform songs and exorcisms at his America’s Fyre Festival 250. Her demands are that he doesn’t try to grab her cat and a few bags of cash.

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent: "Because of Joe Biden I was forced to sell my little pink house.” "But you sold it in March of 2025, when Donald Trump was president for $21.25 million.” "Now you're just getting into semantics here. I'm not playing your word games."

Look at this slop job. The only reflecting that should be done here is why 77 million Americans voted for the return of this insane maniac.

Rod Stewart to King Charles III about Donald Trump: “May I say well done in the Americas. You were superb. Absolutely superb. You put that little rat bag in his place.” courtesy of Rebecca English

Thomas Fugate, the 22-year-old former gardener, grocery clerk and Department of Homeland Security official tasked with overseeing violent extremism, was reportedly crushed that he did not get the Acting Director of National Intelligence position.

One of the greatest Kennedy Center Honors performances ever: Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart, Jason Bonham on drums, and Shane Fontayne on electric guitar. It moved Robert Plant to tears as he watched alongside Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones.

Remember when there were real concerts at the Kennedy Center? Rufus Wainwright led a singalong of Piano Man, joined onstage by Garth Brooks and Don Henley. BTW: The Trump Kennedy Center You have eleven days to remove that godforsaken name from the Kennedy Center, per court order.

I checked his math, and it’s accurate. There are 250,000 Americans over the age of 124 collecting workers’ compensation. *Source: his brainworm. 🥴

Opening the Strait of Hormuz by Jordan Klepper

“If President Trump has put a height-weight-body-ratio rule in place, how the hell am I getting into the cage fight?” — Steven Cheung

Lindsey Graham: “JD Vance has agreed to campaign with me in South Carolina and at Disney World.”

Pierogi addict Alan Dershowitz was escorted from a farmers market stand on Martha’s Vineyard after insisting on returning to a vendor who previously refused to serve him — and threatening to sue.

The GOP dumped $2.5 million into a Texas runoff that hasn’t gone blue in 35 years. Trump carried it by 17 points. Trump’s candidate lost by 14. Yes, Donald, it’s you. 🔴 Leigh Wambsganss: $2.5M 🔵 Taylor Rehmet: $380K

Aretha Franklin was a surprise guest performer at the Kennedy Center Honors tribute to Carole King, who co-wrote “Natural Woman.” Aretha noted in a Vogue interview, “Carole didn’t know I was going to be there at all. That’s one reason she was excited.”

Yes, he’s completely insane. And he actually posted this.

Today is the first day of spring. It’s the Trump family’s least favorite day because it’s time to mow their mom.

The note the 'mentalist' held up said pedo.

Sir, those tests results are in.

Guess who was shitposting again at 2:30am? From China terminating ice hockey in Canada and stealing the Stanley Cup, to Musk “bombshells” about Hunter’s laptop, fake JFK Jr. posts, and blocking the Gordie Howe Bridge because Canada has been very unfair to him.