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ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

@ShinyMcShine_ • 15,950 subscribers

Henry K. Duff’s Private Reserve of Quotes from #TheSimpsons. https://t.co/Hl39oqQqOP Junior vice president @solotravel101

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"Can we get rid of this ayatollah T-shirt? Khomeini died years ago." "But, Marge, it works on any ayatollah-- Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi. As we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power." "I don't care who's consolidating their power."

"Can we get rid of this ayatollah T-shirt? Khomeini died years ago." "But, Marge, it works on any ayatollah-- Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi. As we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power." "I don't care who's consolidating their power."

3,515,334 просмотров

"There's your giraffe, little girl." "I'm a boy." "That's the spirit. Never give up."

"There's your giraffe, little girl." "I'm a boy." "That's the spirit. Never give up."

784,033 просмотров

"Bart! Have you started smoking?" "No." "Don't lie to me, boy. Uh-huh! Cigarettes. Just as I thought." "My boss said his warehouse was full." "Yeah, right. Son, I'm gonna teach you a lesson. I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke every one of those cigarettes."

"Bart! Have you started smoking?" "No." "Don't lie to me, boy. Uh-huh! Cigarettes. Just as I thought." "My boss said his warehouse was full." "Yeah, right. Son, I'm gonna teach you a lesson. I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke every one of those cigarettes."

1,390,501 просмотров

"See you in hell, candy boys!"

"See you in hell, candy boys!"

2,180,644 просмотров

"Daddy? Daddy? Where are you, Dad--" "So, who wants a Preflight cookie? Fig Newtons? Hydrox?" "Daddy?" "Don't look at me! Don't look at me!"

"Daddy? Daddy? Where are you, Dad--" "So, who wants a Preflight cookie? Fig Newtons? Hydrox?" "Daddy?" "Don't look at me! Don't look at me!"

392,596 просмотров

"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene." "What country is this car from?" "It no longer exists, but take her for a test-drive and you'll agree--zagreb ebnom zlotdik diev." "Put it in "H."

"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene." "What country is this car from?" "It no longer exists, but take her for a test-drive and you'll agree--zagreb ebnom zlotdik diev." "Put it in "H."

496,844 просмотров

"Boy, I sure could go for 100 tacos right about now." "No." "Yes, this should provide adequate sustenance for the Doctor Who marathon."

"Boy, I sure could go for 100 tacos right about now." "No." "Yes, this should provide adequate sustenance for the Doctor Who marathon."

1,089,879 просмотров

"You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage...when pigs fly." "That's a good one." "Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?" "No. I'd still prefer not."

"You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage...when pigs fly." "That's a good one." "Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?" "No. I'd still prefer not."

556,144 просмотров

"Sending your chick a valentine, huh?" "Yep." "Johnny? Johnny? Johnny!" "Cool! I broke his brain."

"Sending your chick a valentine, huh?" "Yep." "Johnny? Johnny? Johnny!" "Cool! I broke his brain."

1,461,691 просмотров

"You're letting me go?" "Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without." "So that's it after 20 years--so long, good luck?" "I don't recall saying good luck."

"You're letting me go?" "Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without." "So that's it after 20 years--so long, good luck?" "I don't recall saying good luck."

348,562 просмотров

"Here are your messages: "You have 30 minutes to move your car." "You have 10 minutes." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have 30 minutes to move your cube." "Y'ello. Mr. Burns's office." "Is it about my cube?"

"Here are your messages: "You have 30 minutes to move your car." "You have 10 minutes." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have 30 minutes to move your cube." "Y'ello. Mr. Burns's office." "Is it about my cube?"

392,294 просмотров

"Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?" "Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders." "He was a zombie?"

"Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?" "Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders." "He was a zombie?"

640,692 просмотров

"Wow! The March 8 newspaper!" "Cool! A book of carpet samples!" "Come on, new bike!" "Ohh. A soiled wig." "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

"Wow! The March 8 newspaper!" "Cool! A book of carpet samples!" "Come on, new bike!" "Ohh. A soiled wig." "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

449,687 просмотров

"Sir, the TV ratings for the launch are the highest in 10 years." "And how's the spacecraft doing?" "I don't know. All this equipment is just used to measure TV ratings."

"Sir, the TV ratings for the launch are the highest in 10 years." "And how's the spacecraft doing?" "I don't know. All this equipment is just used to measure TV ratings."

231,355 просмотров

"Hmm. Whoever did this is in very deep trouble." "And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of "Wiener" is w-i-e-n-e-r, although "e-i" is an acceptable ethnic variant." "Good point. Boys, let's see your hands."

"Hmm. Whoever did this is in very deep trouble." "And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of "Wiener" is w-i-e-n-e-r, although "e-i" is an acceptable ethnic variant." "Good point. Boys, let's see your hands."

276,219 просмотров

"Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase." "Yeah, but this is what they're doing on campus. Besides, it isn't costing us. I swiped the cinder blocks from a construction site." "Sir, six cinder blocks are missing." "There'll be no hospital then. I'll tell the children."

"Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase." "Yeah, but this is what they're doing on campus. Besides, it isn't costing us. I swiped the cinder blocks from a construction site." "Sir, six cinder blocks are missing." "There'll be no hospital then. I'll tell the children."

343,392 просмотров

"Hello? Yes? Oh. If you're looking for that big doughnut of yours, Flanders has it. just smash open his house." "He came to life. Good for him!"

"Hello? Yes? Oh. If you're looking for that big doughnut of yours, Flanders has it. just smash open his house." "He came to life. Good for him!"

392,106 просмотров

"You can't take our donuts!" "Right. Anyone else want to be a hero?"

"You can't take our donuts!" "Right. Anyone else want to be a hero?"

149,981 просмотров

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'Let me get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name... and bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters?" "Oh! I thought the Generals were due! He's spinning the ball on his finger! just take it! Take the ball!"

'Let me get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name... and bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters?" "Oh! I thought the Generals were due! He's spinning the ball on his finger! just take it! Take the ball!"

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"So, you like doughnuts, eh?" "Uh-huh." "Well, have all the doughnuts in the world!"

"So, you like doughnuts, eh?" "Uh-huh." "Well, have all the doughnuts in the world!"

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"Hi. My name is Richie Sakai. I'm an anesthesiologist. And I'd like to dedicate this next song to my wife Patti..." 🎶I was born in the wagon of a travelling show...🎶

"Hi. My name is Richie Sakai. I'm an anesthesiologist. And I'd like to dedicate this next song to my wife Patti..." 🎶I was born in the wagon of a travelling show...🎶

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"Uh...hello, you got a "help wanted" sign in the window?" "Yeah, I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it's safely off the truck."

"Uh...hello, you got a "help wanted" sign in the window?" "Yeah, I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it's safely off the truck."

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"Here we have an Alaskan timber wolf. He weighs 240 pounds, and his jaws can bite through a parking meter. He does get spooked by loud noises." "Loud? That's our secret word for the day!"

"Here we have an Alaskan timber wolf. He weighs 240 pounds, and his jaws can bite through a parking meter. He does get spooked by loud noises." "Loud? That's our secret word for the day!"

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You'll see all your favorite soccer stars, like Ariaga, Ariaga II, Bariaga, Aruglia, and Pizzoza!"

You'll see all your favorite soccer stars, like Ariaga, Ariaga II, Bariaga, Aruglia, and Pizzoza!"

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"Revenge? Of course. But why wound his body with bullets...when I could set his soul afire with a slanderous mambo? Listen, if you will, to my revenge."

"Revenge? Of course. But why wound his body with bullets...when I could set his soul afire with a slanderous mambo? Listen, if you will, to my revenge."

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"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

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"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees... and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?" "Huh? D'oh! Stupid poetic justice!" "Actually, we were just planning the father-son river-rafting trip." "Heh-heh! You don't have a son."

"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees... and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?" "Huh? D'oh! Stupid poetic justice!" "Actually, we were just planning the father-son river-rafting trip." "Heh-heh! You don't have a son."

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"Hey, Maude! Look who's helping me clean the chimney." "Hey. Not now." "Neddie? Where have you been?" "Hi, Maude. Diddly. I've been having fun with my pal Homer. Diddly." "Oh, I'm so relieved. Whenever you go on one of your late-night fog walks, I get so worried." "Relax! I'm fine. But when I do die, I don't want any autopsies." "Well, come on down, you goofy roofy." "Wow. It sure is slippery up here." "My pies are done." "Oh, she missed it."

"Hey, Maude! Look who's helping me clean the chimney." "Hey. Not now." "Neddie? Where have you been?" "Hi, Maude. Diddly. I've been having fun with my pal Homer. Diddly." "Oh, I'm so relieved. Whenever you go on one of your late-night fog walks, I get so worried." "Relax! I'm fine. But when I do die, I don't want any autopsies." "Well, come on down, you goofy roofy." "Wow. It sure is slippery up here." "My pies are done." "Oh, she missed it."

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Mmm sixty four slices of American cheese.

Mmm sixty four slices of American cheese.

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50,048 просмотров • 6 месяцев назад

"Help! Please help me!" "Willie, please! Mr. Van Houten has the floor." "I, for one, would like to see the cafeteria menus in advance, so parents can adjust their dinner menus accordingly. I don't like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day."

"Help! Please help me!" "Willie, please! Mr. Van Houten has the floor." "I, for one, would like to see the cafeteria menus in advance, so parents can adjust their dinner menus accordingly. I don't like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day."

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"Oh, boy! Free trading cards!" "Wow! Joseph of Aramathea! Twenty-six conversions in A.D. 46!" "Whoa! A Methuselah rookie card!" "Who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?" "Religion?" "Learning?" "Let's get outta here!"

"Oh, boy! Free trading cards!" "Wow! Joseph of Aramathea! Twenty-six conversions in A.D. 46!" "Whoa! A Methuselah rookie card!" "Who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?" "Religion?" "Learning?" "Let's get outta here!"

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I'm sorry I can't divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account. Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer. Oh, crap! I shouldn't have said it was a secret. Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal. It's too hot today.

I'm sorry I can't divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account. Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer. Oh, crap! I shouldn't have said it was a secret. Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal. It's too hot today.

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34,872 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

"But beware it carries a terrible curse." "Ooh that's bad." "But it comes with a free frogurt." "That's good." "The frogurt is also cursed." "That's bad." "But you get your choice of topping." "That's good!" "The toppings contain potassium benzoate." "That's bad." "Can I go now?"

"But beware it carries a terrible curse." "Ooh that's bad." "But it comes with a free frogurt." "That's good." "The frogurt is also cursed." "That's bad." "But you get your choice of topping." "That's good!" "The toppings contain potassium benzoate." "That's bad." "Can I go now?"

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"That man ate all our shrimp and two plastic lobsters!" "'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. Arr!" "Six bells. Time for closin'." "Can't talk. Eating." "Fairly warned be thee, says I." "But the sign said, "All you can eat."

"That man ate all our shrimp and two plastic lobsters!" "'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. Arr!" "Six bells. Time for closin'." "Can't talk. Eating." "Fairly warned be thee, says I." "But the sign said, "All you can eat."

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