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ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

@ShinyMcShine_ • 16,182 subscribers

Henry K. Duff’s Private Reserve of Quotes from #TheSimpsons. https://t.co/Hl39oqPSZh Junior vice president @ReindeerPate

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"Can we get rid of this ayatollah T-shirt? Khomeini died years ago." "But, Marge, it works on any ayatollah-- Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi. As we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power." "I don't care who's consolidating their power."

"Can we get rid of this ayatollah T-shirt? Khomeini died years ago." "But, Marge, it works on any ayatollah-- Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi. As we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power." "I don't care who's consolidating their power."

3,510,801 views

"Daddy? Daddy? Where are you, Dad--" "So, who wants a Preflight cookie? Fig Newtons? Hydrox?" "Daddy?" "Don't look at me! Don't look at me!"

"Daddy? Daddy? Where are you, Dad--" "So, who wants a Preflight cookie? Fig Newtons? Hydrox?" "Daddy?" "Don't look at me! Don't look at me!"

391,765 views

"There's your giraffe, little girl." "I'm a boy." "That's the spirit. Never give up."

"There's your giraffe, little girl." "I'm a boy." "That's the spirit. Never give up."

784,033 views

"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene." "What country is this car from?" "It no longer exists, but take her for a test-drive and you'll agree--zagreb ebnom zlotdik diev." "Put it in "H."

"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene." "What country is this car from?" "It no longer exists, but take her for a test-drive and you'll agree--zagreb ebnom zlotdik diev." "Put it in "H."

496,074 views

"Bart! Have you started smoking?" "No." "Don't lie to me, boy. Uh-huh! Cigarettes. Just as I thought." "My boss said his warehouse was full." "Yeah, right. Son, I'm gonna teach you a lesson. I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke every one of those cigarettes."

"Bart! Have you started smoking?" "No." "Don't lie to me, boy. Uh-huh! Cigarettes. Just as I thought." "My boss said his warehouse was full." "Yeah, right. Son, I'm gonna teach you a lesson. I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke every one of those cigarettes."

1,390,255 views

"You're letting me go?" "Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without." "So that's it after 20 years--so long, good luck?" "I don't recall saying good luck."

"You're letting me go?" "Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without." "So that's it after 20 years--so long, good luck?" "I don't recall saying good luck."

348,166 views

"You can't take our donuts!" "Right. Anyone else want to be a hero?"

"You can't take our donuts!" "Right. Anyone else want to be a hero?"

149,520 views

"You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage...when pigs fly." "That's a good one." "Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?" "No. I'd still prefer not."

"You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage...when pigs fly." "That's a good one." "Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?" "No. I'd still prefer not."

556,071 views

"Boy, I sure could go for 100 tacos right about now." "No." "Yes, this should provide adequate sustenance for the Doctor Who marathon."

"Boy, I sure could go for 100 tacos right about now." "No." "Yes, this should provide adequate sustenance for the Doctor Who marathon."

1,088,790 views

"See you in hell, candy boys!"

"See you in hell, candy boys!"

2,180,403 views

"Sir, the TV ratings for the launch are the highest in 10 years." "And how's the spacecraft doing?" "I don't know. All this equipment is just used to measure TV ratings."

"Sir, the TV ratings for the launch are the highest in 10 years." "And how's the spacecraft doing?" "I don't know. All this equipment is just used to measure TV ratings."

231,024 views

Ohh! I hate these flood pants. Hey, they're working! My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone-dry! Everything's comin' up Milhouse!

Ohh! I hate these flood pants. Hey, they're working! My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone-dry! Everything's comin' up Milhouse!

147,476 views

"Here are your messages: "You have 30 minutes to move your car." "You have 10 minutes." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have 30 minutes to move your cube." "Y'ello. Mr. Burns's office." "Is it about my cube?"

"Here are your messages: "You have 30 minutes to move your car." "You have 10 minutes." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have 30 minutes to move your cube." "Y'ello. Mr. Burns's office." "Is it about my cube?"

391,677 views

"Hmm. Whoever did this is in very deep trouble." "And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of "Wiener" is w-i-e-n-e-r, although "e-i" is an acceptable ethnic variant." "Good point. Boys, let's see your hands."

"Hmm. Whoever did this is in very deep trouble." "And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of "Wiener" is w-i-e-n-e-r, although "e-i" is an acceptable ethnic variant." "Good point. Boys, let's see your hands."

276,059 views

"Wow! The March 8 newspaper!" "Cool! A book of carpet samples!" "Come on, new bike!" "Ohh. A soiled wig." "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

"Wow! The March 8 newspaper!" "Cool! A book of carpet samples!" "Come on, new bike!" "Ohh. A soiled wig." "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

449,616 views

"Lisa, quick! Screw these back on." "Mom, calm down. The party's not for another three hours." "Oh, good. That will give me time to add another coat of glaze to the ham."

"Lisa, quick! Screw these back on." "Mom, calm down. The party's not for another three hours." "Oh, good. That will give me time to add another coat of glaze to the ham."

90,911 views

"Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you." "Batman?" "No, he's a scientist." "Batman's a scientist." "It's not Batman!"

"Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you." "Batman?" "No, he's a scientist." "Batman's a scientist." "It's not Batman!"

73,530 views

"Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?" "Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders." "He was a zombie?"

"Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?" "Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders." "He was a zombie?"

640,057 views

"Sending your chick a valentine, huh?" "Yep." "Johnny? Johnny? Johnny!" "Cool! I broke his brain."

"Sending your chick a valentine, huh?" "Yep." "Johnny? Johnny? Johnny!" "Cool! I broke his brain."

1,461,553 views

"But couldn't we just give in to the British?"

"But couldn't we just give in to the British?"

95,420 views

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"My eyes. The goggles do nothing."

"My eyes. The goggles do nothing."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

399,692 views • 4 months ago

"Here we have an Alaskan timber wolf. He weighs 240 pounds, and his jaws can bite through a parking meter. He does get spooked by loud noises." "Loud? That's our secret word for the day!"

"Here we have an Alaskan timber wolf. He weighs 240 pounds, and his jaws can bite through a parking meter. He does get spooked by loud noises." "Loud? That's our secret word for the day!"

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70,495 views • 1 month ago

"Hi. My name is Richie Sakai. I'm an anesthesiologist. And I'd like to dedicate this next song to my wife Patti..." 🎶I was born in the wagon of a travelling show...🎶

"Hi. My name is Richie Sakai. I'm an anesthesiologist. And I'd like to dedicate this next song to my wife Patti..." 🎶I was born in the wagon of a travelling show...🎶

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

78,326 views • 2 months ago

"Uh...hello, you got a "help wanted" sign in the window?" "Yeah, I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it's safely off the truck."

"Uh...hello, you got a "help wanted" sign in the window?" "Yeah, I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it's safely off the truck."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

77,813 views • 2 months ago

"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh?" "D'oh! Stupid poetic justice!" "Actually, we were just planning the father-son river-rafting trip." "Heh-heh! You don't have a son."

"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh?" "D'oh! Stupid poetic justice!" "Actually, we were just planning the father-son river-rafting trip." "Heh-heh! You don't have a son."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

103,762 views • 3 months ago

'Let me get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name... and bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters?" "Oh! I thought the Generals were due! He's spinning the ball on his finger! just take it! Take the ball!"

'Let me get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name... and bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters?" "Oh! I thought the Generals were due! He's spinning the ball on his finger! just take it! Take the ball!"

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

470,909 views • 1 year ago

"Revenge? Of course. But why wound his body with bullets...when I could set his soul afire with a slanderous mambo? Listen, if you will, to my revenge."

"Revenge? Of course. But why wound his body with bullets...when I could set his soul afire with a slanderous mambo? Listen, if you will, to my revenge."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

56,791 views • 1 month ago

"So, you like doughnuts, eh?" "Uh-huh." "Well, have all the doughnuts in the world!"

"So, you like doughnuts, eh?" "Uh-huh." "Well, have all the doughnuts in the world!"

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

479,239 views • 1 year ago

"Uh-oh. Ooh! Okay, don't panic. Remember what the instructor said." "If you ever get into trouble, all you need to do is--" "Feels like I'm wearin' nothin' at all. Nothin' at all. Nothin' at all." "Stupid sexy Flanders!"

"Uh-oh. Ooh! Okay, don't panic. Remember what the instructor said." "If you ever get into trouble, all you need to do is--" "Feels like I'm wearin' nothin' at all. Nothin' at all. Nothin' at all." "Stupid sexy Flanders!"

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

29,034 views • 1 month ago

"That man ate all our shrimp and two plastic lobsters!" "'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. Arr!" "Six bells. Time for closin'." "Can't talk. Eating." "Fairly warned be thee, says I." "But the sign said, "All you can eat."

"That man ate all our shrimp and two plastic lobsters!" "'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. Arr!" "Six bells. Time for closin'." "Can't talk. Eating." "Fairly warned be thee, says I." "But the sign said, "All you can eat."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

33,767 views • 1 month ago

"Oh, boy! Free trading cards!" "Wow! Joseph of Aramathea! Twenty-six conversions in A.D. 46!" "Whoa! A Methuselah rookie card!" "Who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?" "Religion?" "Learning?" "Let's get outta here!"

"Oh, boy! Free trading cards!" "Wow! Joseph of Aramathea! Twenty-six conversions in A.D. 46!" "Whoa! A Methuselah rookie card!" "Who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?" "Religion?" "Learning?" "Let's get outta here!"

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

40,649 views • 2 months ago

"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

80,420 views • 4 months ago

"Neddy! Neddy!" "He's gaining on us!" "I'm scared!" "Come on, Ned! Move this thing!" "I can't! It's a Geo!" "Hmm. I guess he didn't see me."

"Neddy! Neddy!" "He's gaining on us!" "I'm scared!" "Come on, Ned! Move this thing!" "I can't! It's a Geo!" "Hmm. I guess he didn't see me."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

26,464 views • 1 month ago

"Guess who likes you."

"Guess who likes you."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

50,387 views • 2 months ago

"Now, Homer, don't you eat this pie." "Okay. All right, pie, I'm just gonna do this. And if you get eaten, it's your own fault." "D'oh! Ow! Oh! My--Oh, to hell with it."

"Now, Homer, don't you eat this pie." "Okay. All right, pie, I'm just gonna do this. And if you get eaten, it's your own fault." "D'oh! Ow! Oh! My--Oh, to hell with it."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

32,508 views • 1 month ago

Mmm sixty four slices of American cheese.

Mmm sixty four slices of American cheese.

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

49,994 views • 3 months ago

First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? ...on the best-seller list for 18 months! Every magazine cover had it! ...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?

First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? ...on the best-seller list for 18 months! Every magazine cover had it! ...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

123,025 views • 10 months ago

"Hey, Maude! Look who's helping me clean the chimney." "Hey. Not now." "Neddie? Where have you been?" "Hi, Maude. Diddly. I've been having fun with my pal Homer. Diddly." "Oh, I'm so relieved. Whenever you go on one of your late-night fog walks, I get so worried." "Relax! I'm fine. But when I do die, I don't want any autopsies." "Well, come on down, you goofy roofy." "Wow. It sure is slippery up here." "My pies are done." "Oh, she missed it."

"Hey, Maude! Look who's helping me clean the chimney." "Hey. Not now." "Neddie? Where have you been?" "Hi, Maude. Diddly. I've been having fun with my pal Homer. Diddly." "Oh, I'm so relieved. Whenever you go on one of your late-night fog walks, I get so worried." "Relax! I'm fine. But when I do die, I don't want any autopsies." "Well, come on down, you goofy roofy." "Wow. It sure is slippery up here." "My pies are done." "Oh, she missed it."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

86,726 views • 7 months ago

"Yeah, I know I'm on. But I don't care. I don't read the news until I get my Danish. Go ahead. Try to find a replacement." "A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed 120 people." "¡Ay, chihuahua! whoa, whoa, whoa!"

"Yeah, I know I'm on. But I don't care. I don't read the news until I get my Danish. Go ahead. Try to find a replacement." "A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed 120 people." "¡Ay, chihuahua! whoa, whoa, whoa!"

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

36,962 views • 2 months ago

"One is wearing a green dress, pearls and has a lot of blue hair." "A lot of blue hair? What a freak. Ooh! It's Marge! She's become a crazed criminal just because I didn't take her to the ballet." "That's exactly how Dillinger got started." "Really."

"One is wearing a green dress, pearls and has a lot of blue hair." "A lot of blue hair? What a freak. Ooh! It's Marge! She's become a crazed criminal just because I didn't take her to the ballet." "That's exactly how Dillinger got started." "Really."

ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes

153,252 views • 1 year ago