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Christmas Vacation

@VacationQuotes • 49,908 subscribers

Can’t see the line, can you Russ?

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Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? Nah I'm doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? Nah I'm doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.

775,891 просмотров

You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced because every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so.

You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced because every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so.

522,717 просмотров

Nervous or excited? Shittin' bricks. You shouldn't use that word. Sorry, shittin' rocks.

Nervous or excited? Shittin' bricks. You shouldn't use that word. Sorry, shittin' rocks.

266,667 просмотров

Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn into the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now.

Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn into the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now.

223,695 просмотров

You serious, Clark?

You serious, Clark?

217,674 просмотров

And if it wouldn’t be too much, I’d like to get something for you, Clark. Something 👌🏼really nice.

And if it wouldn’t be too much, I’d like to get something for you, Clark. Something 👌🏼really nice.

218,736 просмотров

Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, he'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak woman.

Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, he'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak woman.

187,838 просмотров

That's something ain't it, huh? She falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don't know!

That's something ain't it, huh? She falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don't know!

178,246 просмотров

Worse! How could they get any worse?! Take a look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!

Worse! How could they get any worse?! Take a look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!

166,599 просмотров

Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they–hotter than they are!

Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they–hotter than they are!

125,651 просмотров

My counsin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain. I appreciate that, Clark.

My counsin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain. I appreciate that, Clark.

125,325 просмотров

Yes, yes, it is. It's a bit nipply out – I mean nippy out!

Yes, yes, it is. It's a bit nipply out – I mean nippy out!

108,405 просмотров

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? Naw I'm doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? Naw I'm doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.

117,732 просмотров

SQUIRREL!!!

SQUIRREL!!!

84,397 просмотров

He's got another car, he can drive! I have to eat so I can take my back pill!

He's got another car, he can drive! I have to eat so I can take my back pill!

75,294 просмотров

And when Santa squeezes his fat, white ass down that chimney tonight, he's going to find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

And when Santa squeezes his fat, white ass down that chimney tonight, he's going to find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

69,198 просмотров

Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

67,058 просмотров

That thing had nine lives, she just spent 'em all...WOO!

That thing had nine lives, she just spent 'em all...WOO!

60,704 просмотров

You smell something? Fried pussy cat!

You smell something? Fried pussy cat!

38,175 просмотров

Corporate cards...

Corporate cards...

36,660 просмотров

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Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career. College? Carnival.

Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career. College? Carnival.

Christmas Vacation

1,083,987 просмотров • 2 лет назад

And why is the carpet all wet, TODD? I don't KNOW, Margo!

And why is the carpet all wet, TODD? I don't KNOW, Margo!

Christmas Vacation

710,139 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!

Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!

Christmas Vacation

656,135 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Can't see the line. Can you, Russ?

Can't see the line. Can you, Russ?

Christmas Vacation

358,818 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn...the clean, cool chill of the holiday air...and an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.

Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn...the clean, cool chill of the holiday air...and an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.

Christmas Vacation

191,312 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Grace! She passed away thirty years ago!

Grace! She passed away thirty years ago!

Christmas Vacation

130,366 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Only problem is he's got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town.

Only problem is he's got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town.

Christmas Vacation

84,300 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la – take it, Russ! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la – take it, Russ! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Christmas Vacation

84,785 просмотров • 2 лет назад

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the Untied States of America, and to the republic, for which it stands; one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Amen

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the Untied States of America, and to the republic, for which it stands; one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Amen

Christmas Vacation

77,822 просмотров • 2 лет назад

He worked really hard, grandma. So do washing machines.

He worked really hard, grandma. So do washing machines.

Christmas Vacation

77,330 просмотров • 2 лет назад

She wrapped up her damn cat!

She wrapped up her damn cat!

Christmas Vacation

55,784 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!🎵

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!🎵

Christmas Vacation

53,740 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Save the neck for me, Clark!

Save the neck for me, Clark!

Christmas Vacation

50,900 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. And I want him brought from his happy, holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, 🧵

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. And I want him brought from his happy, holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, 🧵

Christmas Vacation

50,344 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Oh he's just yackin' on a bone. He got it up! He's alright now!

Oh he's just yackin' on a bone. He got it up! He's alright now!

Christmas Vacation

49,970 просмотров • 2 лет назад

Oh boy, this is a surprise, Clark. This is just a real nice surprise! Just a real nice surprise!

Oh boy, this is a surprise, Clark. This is just a real nice surprise! Just a real nice surprise!

Christmas Vacation

46,043 просмотров • 2 лет назад

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