idk

@chronicpsycho_ • 59,982 subscribers

virtual diary I inpatient treatment since 2021 I PRO-recovery I disabled+AuDHD+chronically+mentally ill

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idk

Shorts

22/11/25- vent being an amputee is honestly one of the most isolating things ever. the never ending judgement, the never ending grief. a permanent reminder of my past. just because I lost it to mental health reasons does not make it any less distressing.

7/12/25-mood cuz my blood pressure’s perfect even tho i’ve hardly drank or eaten for days. (i miss drinking water &amp; eating, but my brain disagrees, the guilt is a no &amp; I’m so scared of throwing up. send help. I have a feed scheduled tmr and I’m terrified) happy holidays anyway !

16/12/25- lush life for life. I’m going crazy. my weight is the highest it’s ever been and I hate every inch of my body.

22/12/25- “i circle in, it’s all pitch black. the first time an adult called me fat.” I know it’s not just me.

21/12/25- last night shift’s situation. happens too often.

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Her smile is so pretty, ik she doesn’t have an eating disorder, but it’s so inspiring seeing her in such a cheery mood despite battling gastro-paresis and other mental health issues.

25/10/25 //mh vent// “no one noticed” I have a red eye lol

11/12/25- maybe someone will relate? most suicidal people deep down don’t actually wanna die, but just don’t see another end to their pain.

Real. I hate myself.

ate a fruit cup for lunch

19/10/25 //mh vent// THINGS THAT ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY. just venting. not asking for sympathy.

what were we on in 2020 HELP

Vent; If I knew it all then would I do it again? the clock app gave me a ban warning for this private video 😿

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20/12/25- 10 days early but jeez can’t believe it’s gonna be my 5th Christmas in hospital. Also you can see the weight gain throughput the year fml. I was bored and couldn’t sleep so I made this.

why the body check during the binge

8/12/25- uhhh vent ? I think SHe’s alreEaDy back.

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anorexia; “it’s not vanity, it’s self punishment, disguised as control.”

13/12/25- vent? “all because I developed an ed”

How does she purge cheese?

21/12/25- why self care can be hard for some people . it’s not disgusting. It could become your reality. educational vent?

27/10/25 //mh vent// “maybe it’s just a cruel joke on me.” I hate being tube fed without my say, even though I’m at a weight restored, and eating more than adequately.

21/11/25- HUGE PROGRESS!! down to only one feeds a week!!! (with the condition that I eat an apple rn? idk what that logic is but ayyy let’s goooo my hard work is finally paying off!) on a 2:1 rn but it’s all ok!!

Mukbang my huge mealplan

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Did Kat literally make their account to hate on me?? There’s literally like 50 replies to my posts, all hate. Fan behaviour much? Why are you so obsessed?

13/10/25 mh vent

I can’t escape it. 🐇 🚦 🐢

Is this what I think it is? Have you guys seen @ whatdreamsmaycome8 or ‘Littlemissperfect’ on TikTok? Seems like the new chiara

I feel so much pain though the screen for these people posting their binges online. You can see how drained they are, how they’re struggling so much; But the comments are just filled with either people saying “I’m proud of you” While their pain goes unnoticed.

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22/10/25 clean up. the inconsistency is insane. once nurse gave me an IM and mechanical restraints overnight, while another nurse goes; “It’s your choice, I don’t care.” not to mention the mountain of night-staff fall asleep…don’t blame them tho. It just gets confusing.

7/12/25-mood cuz my blood pressure’s perfect even tho i’ve hardly drank or eaten for days. (i miss drinking water & eating, but my brain disagrees, the guilt is a no & I’m so scared of throwing up. send help. I have a feed scheduled tmr and I’m terrified) happy holidays anyway !