The Coachspeak Index

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fantasy football’s first & only coachspeak solver // created by @gregbrainos // every important note from every HC/OC/GM presser: https://t.co/Djpi7aO5ww

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new John Harbaugh injury update / existential poem just dropped: they’re on schedule what that means, I don’t really know because nobody knows [edit] they’re doing well

it was a more active trade deadline because the young whippersnapper GMs are so trade horny from their days of playing fantasy football

Liam Coen does not give a shit about your stupid fantasy football teams

#Rams coach Sean McVay on why he went for a touchdown with two minutes left, instead of kneeling the ball and then kicking a field goal to go up 11: “Kyren’s on my fantasy team”

#Patriots HC Mike Vrabel on Sunday’s officiating: “The Bills lead the NFL in offensive holding… That would be hard for me to understand how the team that is coming into the game leading — and that’s how they play — didn’t have one yesterday. That’s hard for me to understand.”

it’s only Week 1, and Brian Callahan is already on the verge of asking a reporter if they want to take it outside

Todd Monken subtweeting James Gladstone from the top rope

not a single question was asked in Mike Tomlin’s postgame presser lol

#Vikings HC Kevin O’Connell on the taunting flag thrown on Justin Jefferson’s touchdown celebration: “We’ve gotta be smart about the direction at which we Griddy, I guess.”

#Eagles OC Sean Mannion omitting a very prominent name when talking about Philly’s WR room today 👀

#Browns HC Kevin Stefanski on a player comp for #Steelers TE Darnell Washington:

Sutton, Bryant, Franklin 🧐

Sean Payton saw all your lambasting tweets yesterday

he gets so rude and mean sometimes, I hate it

Harold Fannin Jr.

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Dan Patrick wasn’t having any of Kevin O’Connell’s coachspeak on QB1

Jahmyr Gibbs nooooooooooooo

#Falcons HC Raheem Morris on Drake London’s gun celebration that was flagged: “Drake is a great kid. His intent was not as a use of a weapon. He probably was shooting t-shirts into the stands, to be honest with you, because he’s just that kind of a guy.”

the complementary statistic to “teams who ran the ball 40+ times in a game are 155-2”

#Chargers OC Mike McDaniel printed out wanted posters for Keaton Mitchell and Alec Ingold, and put the posters up on GM Joe Hortiz’s wall

Liam Coen breaking down all the Brian Thomas Jr. fantasy points that Trevor Lawrence cost you in Week 1:

I don’t watch defensive coordinator press conferences, but I may have to make an exception for #Lions DC Kelvin Sheppard

“To be quite frank with you, I kinda enjoyed beating Matt LaFleur twice a year.” BEN JOHNSON COMIN’ IN HOT

#Jaguars HC Liam Coen on how Bhayshul Tuten is looking: “He put the ball on the ground today, that kinda stands out… Good learning experience, first time in a live setting in the National Football League on your first carry — hopefully you learn something from that moment.”

I mean c’mon dude

that deep bomb to Rhamondre Stevenson yesterday was originally designed for TreVeyon Henderson 🫠

#Lions coach Dan Campbell talking today about David Montgomery’s workload Sounds familiar!

#Jaguars HC Liam Coen on Logan Cooke threatening to kill Julius Chestnut during yesterday’s game: “I’ve probably heard that said, like, a hundred times, from players in games. So, whatever.”

John Harbaugh just buried your Keaton Mitchell bags 20,000 feet deep

#Packers OC Adam Stenavich on Ben Johnson’s shot at Matt LaFleur: “You take it personal, for sure. I’ll just leave it at that.”

#Bears HC Ben Johnson on running hook-and-ladder plays: “I think we’re just scratching the surface of what you can do in that lateral world. Would like to see if we can’t take that to the next level, over the course of the next few seasons”