Dr Julie | Psychologist
@drjulie • 4,800,000 subscribers
Videos
🤫 A little secret about your brain 🧠 Do all your relationships follow the same destructive pattern? So many of us find ourselves repeating the same painful relationship patterns, even when we desperately want something different. From a Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) perspective, we develop "relational patterns" early in life. They become the templates our brains use to predict what relationships should feel like, what to expect from other people, and how to respond in return. Whatever love looked like in childhood, that can be all we know. Familiarity creates a sense of certainty, even when it comes with emotional pain. So we can sometimes mistake it for compatibility. And the people who trigger your deepest wounds can also feel strangely compelling. Not because they're right for you, but because they fit an old pattern. If you like my videos I think you'll love my million-copy Sunday Times bestseller, 'Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?' And my New York Times bestseller, 'Open When.' Find them at the link in my bio.
Dr Julie | Psychologist1,900,000 views • 4 months ago
👉 The biggest mistake that most people make with new year resolutions and lifestyle changes is starting with a big change that can’t be sustained among all the demands of normal life. Aiming for temporary change is not a bad thing. We do this all the time when we take time out to rest or go on a holiday. But when we want to put in a change that will stick, we can’t treat it in the same way that we treat a short term change. We must work out how this new goal is going to fit into everything else that we prioritise. Without doing that, the new changes inevitably become too disruptive to all the other things we care about and we inevitably abandon the new goals altogether. More to come on how to sustain new changes in the next couple of weeks, but for details on how to deal with fluctuations in willpower now, I have a section on this in my new book, Open When. Click the link in my bio to get yours now. Available at all book stores and supermarkets. ⭐️ Amazon has just reduced the price by 24%. ⭐️ Signed copies available from the Waterstones link. ⭐️ Barnes and Noble 🎯 US Special edition now at Target Links are in my bio x
Dr Julie | Psychologist2,300,000 views • 1 year ago
👉 A woman’s mental health is never more vulnerable than in the first year after she has given birth. If you have noticed your wellbeing fluctuating since having a baby, I have a message for you. It’s not your fault. Having a baby has never been easy but our modern world, with all of it’s advantages that make life easier, seems to get this one so wrong. And both Mothers, Fathers and babies pay the price. The reason that mental health is so at risk during this time is because the core pillars of defense are all knocked out from beneath you. Some of those we can’t control, like sleep. Others we could use to help ourselves stay well, like social connection, nutrition and movement. But for anyone living in a place where community no longer exists, and Surestart centres or groups have been shut down, trying to look after your mental health alone, at the time when you need support more than ever, can feel overwhelming. We must do better for families. Feel free to share this message / video ❤️ 👉 For anyone who needs a helping hand through those often dark and lonely moments check out my New York Times / Sunday Times bestselling book ‘Open When...’ it is finally out now worldwide (link in bio) Also check out my million copy bestselling 1st book ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ Both are available across the world in over 35 languages x
Dr Julie | Psychologist1,600,000 views • 1 year ago
👀 Did you spot the shift? 👉 It’s easy to miss it at first, because it is so gradual. But that is how change in emotion state tends to happen too. It’s not the flip of a coin. It’s a gradual shifting that takes time. The trouble with that is we become impatient when the feeling is uncomfortable or painful. We want it gone now. So, the temptation is to do whatever numbs it fast. Every time we do that, we lose touch with the natural course that human emotion will take, when we allow it to be present. It increases in It’s intensity, then slowly comes back down. 👉 ‘When it’s difficult to be with your feelings’ is the title of a whole section of my new No.1 Sunday Times & New York Times Bestseller, Open When. It breaks down into all the emotions we tend to struggle with, and I talk you through how to get through and out the otherside in the best way possible. If you comment the word ‘book’ I will DM you the links to some amazing discounted prices. The link in my bio has links to UK, USA and some international retailers. When I wrote this book I wanted it to be a gift to yourself through hard times, but also to the people you love, when you can’t be there to see them through their own tough moments ❤️
Dr Julie | Psychologist1,500,000 views • 1 year ago
👉Important advice I teach people in therapy. So many of us have been taught to see anxiety as the problem. But it is just information. Sometimes information is right. Sometimes it is wrong. And sometimes it only appears to be wrong because it’s pointing toward the wrong threat. Let me explain. We can feel anxious when there is something to fear. We can feel anxious when we are safe but perceive a threat to be bigger than it is. And we can feel anxious because the brain and body have a bunch of needs that aren’t being met. This means, if you feel anxious on the regular, it is always worth looking at your life more widely. In therapy we call that a formulation. In my experience, once you do that work to understand the picture as a whole, everything that previously felt confusing, suddenly makes complete sense. For more on all of this, the link is in my bio for Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? Which includes an Anxiety Action Plan.
Dr Julie | Psychologist94,100 views • 1 month ago
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