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George T. Diano

@georgediano • 208,710 subscribers

Twitter for Satire & Peasants|| Story teller|| MBA- Operations Management|| Inspired by Wahome Mutahi.

Shorts

Cravings is just a state of mind!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Cravings is just a state of mind!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

99,306 views

Koffi Olomide still behave like a thug. Nothing new about his stature here. It's only that he lived through his life with that.

Koffi Olomide still behave like a thug. Nothing new about his stature here. It's only that he lived through his life with that.

66,491 views

“I made Sifuna” ndio huyo waving at birds of ngethe and buildings in his home turf Vihiga. The guy knows how to make people but he can't make himself. Dust all over. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember him aki.🥹

“I made Sifuna” ndio huyo waving at birds of ngethe and buildings in his home turf Vihiga. The guy knows how to make people but he can't make himself. Dust all over. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember him aki.🥹

143,298 views

The level of corruption and malice happening at JKIA parking by KAA officers is out of this world. Yesterday, an officer directed me where to park and demanded that I squeeze a little bit so that another car could fit. As we were busy removing our bags, the KAA officers clamped the car, insisting that I had parked wrongly by crossing the painted line. I pointed out the traffic officer who had insisted that I park that way, only for the officer to disappear into thin air. The KAA officer then insisted that I either bribe him KSh 4,000 or go to their office and part ways with a KSh 6,000 fine. The cab guys who were there called me and told me, “Bro, hao watu wamezoea kutega hivyo. Walipe tu badala ya maneno mingi.” At that point, I knew this was pure malice. I decided to first take my yellow yellow damsel to catch her flight, then came back few minutes later. The KAA guy approached me, and this time, the bribe had miraculously reduced to KSh 3,000. I asked them where their office was, went there, and paid the KSh 6,000 fine through the government platform. Everyone was looking at me with Sanpanku eyes & one even had the audacity to ask me why I didn't settle things with the guys at the parking lot. These guys needs to be stopped coz they even harassed innocent tourists. As for me, I’d rather pay the fine than being oppressed by my fellow Walala Hoii,, kiino sana. Ata wangeitisha hongo ya thao Moja ama mbili, thao tatu kwani me ni mama yao. The guy on camera is the goon in charge of bribe operation.

The level of corruption and malice happening at JKIA parking by KAA officers is out of this world. Yesterday, an officer directed me where to park and demanded that I squeeze a little bit so that another car could fit. As we were busy removing our bags, the KAA officers clamped the car, insisting that I had parked wrongly by crossing the painted line. I pointed out the traffic officer who had insisted that I park that way, only for the officer to disappear into thin air. The KAA officer then insisted that I either bribe him KSh 4,000 or go to their office and part ways with a KSh 6,000 fine. The cab guys who were there called me and told me, “Bro, hao watu wamezoea kutega hivyo. Walipe tu badala ya maneno mingi.” At that point, I knew this was pure malice. I decided to first take my yellow yellow damsel to catch her flight, then came back few minutes later. The KAA guy approached me, and this time, the bribe had miraculously reduced to KSh 3,000. I asked them where their office was, went there, and paid the KSh 6,000 fine through the government platform. Everyone was looking at me with Sanpanku eyes & one even had the audacity to ask me why I didn't settle things with the guys at the parking lot. These guys needs to be stopped coz they even harassed innocent tourists. As for me, I’d rather pay the fine than being oppressed by my fellow Walala Hoii,, kiino sana. Ata wangeitisha hongo ya thao Moja ama mbili, thao tatu kwani me ni mama yao. The guy on camera is the goon in charge of bribe operation.

192,342 views

Chama ni moja, NEDP! Huyu ni candidate wetu pale Karura Ward. Tulisema mwanamke yieyiootee anataka kiti Lazima atuonyeshe usitoo time ya campaign juu wakifika kwa bunge hakuna kitu wanafanya, kazi ni kupea waheshimiwa ASSprin kutuliza kichwa. Kama huna mafrrrumbanya usiingie debe tafasalii.🌚

Chama ni moja, NEDP! Huyu ni candidate wetu pale Karura Ward. Tulisema mwanamke yieyiootee anataka kiti Lazima atuonyeshe usitoo time ya campaign juu wakifika kwa bunge hakuna kitu wanafanya, kazi ni kupea waheshimiwa ASSprin kutuliza kichwa. Kama huna mafrrrumbanya usiingie debe tafasalii.🌚

50,394 views

Today's man of the match is Mulabbi Ismael. I love the men we are becoming.

Today's man of the match is Mulabbi Ismael. I love the men we are becoming.

165,927 views

As I had highlighted few days ago, Walala had their tent erected 300 meters away from the main event in Kilgoris. They followed the event through a big screen as they enjoy refreshments & minofu bcoz what was needed is only their presence to complete the hustler’s narrative.

As I had highlighted few days ago, Walala had their tent erected 300 meters away from the main event in Kilgoris. They followed the event through a big screen as they enjoy refreshments & minofu bcoz what was needed is only their presence to complete the hustler’s narrative.

102,376 views

These are the kind of things children remember into adulthood. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.🥲

These are the kind of things children remember into adulthood. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.🥲

124,322 views

Watch the video keenly, Oburu Odinga didn't eat the cake Ruto gave him? Watch clearly and see that he later took the cake from his mouth and threw. Winnie Odinga whisper to his uncle before he received the cake from kasongo. There's something this family knows that we don't?

Watch the video keenly, Oburu Odinga didn't eat the cake Ruto gave him? Watch clearly and see that he later took the cake from his mouth and threw. Winnie Odinga whisper to his uncle before he received the cake from kasongo. There's something this family knows that we don't?

330,551 views

Wamesema anadance kama mermaid.😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Wamesema anadance kama mermaid.😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

105,347 views

Our fellow men are hearing good out there. I don't know why such Sundus carrier are always not facially convincing. Anyway, No weapon formed against my wallet shall prosper, hii mwaka Lazima ni chimbe choo Sikhendu.🌚

Our fellow men are hearing good out there. I don't know why such Sundus carrier are always not facially convincing. Anyway, No weapon formed against my wallet shall prosper, hii mwaka Lazima ni chimbe choo Sikhendu.🌚

146,376 views

Daughter of Agrippina after a successful BBL procedure.

Daughter of Agrippina after a successful BBL procedure.

42,878 views

Mailood, he is almost crying. 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Mailood, he is almost crying. 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

330,443 views

Kenyan athlete Nickson Rotich collapsed and died during a morning training run in Iten. Rest in peace champ 🕊️

Kenyan athlete Nickson Rotich collapsed and died during a morning training run in Iten. Rest in peace champ 🕊️

177,204 views

Kimani Ichungwah must be puking blood.🥲

Kimani Ichungwah must be puking blood.🥲

277,543 views

In Emurua Dikirr, the DCP candidate is moving around with a caravan full of Rigathi Gachagua’s pictures. In Ol Kalou, the UDA candidates were avoiding to include William Ruto’s picture on their posters. Kipsigis people are not cowards, we grab the bull by its balls. Chesaa!!

In Emurua Dikirr, the DCP candidate is moving around with a caravan full of Rigathi Gachagua’s pictures. In Ol Kalou, the UDA candidates were avoiding to include William Ruto’s picture on their posters. Kipsigis people are not cowards, we grab the bull by its balls. Chesaa!!

120,609 views

Maina Njenga's tax collectors are back on the streets after being wiped out by the late Michuki 18 years ago. This comes exactly one month after the Mungiki sect leader assured his militia that the government, through Kithure Kindiki, is fully behind their operations.

Maina Njenga's tax collectors are back on the streets after being wiped out by the late Michuki 18 years ago. This comes exactly one month after the Mungiki sect leader assured his militia that the government, through Kithure Kindiki, is fully behind their operations.

357,145 views

Citizen is saving a brother from Yamune killer squad. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Citizen is saving a brother from Yamune killer squad. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

94,623 views

Videos

The owner of this car is called Kirubi, a man equipped with all the horizontal engineering apparatus until proven otherwise. While I was busy in my humble Hacienda, conducting an intensive cutout search operation belonging to my yellow yellow damsel, this man who was high as a kite, decided to use my car as a handbrake. He hit my car and destroyed the bumper and fog lights. Management briefed me about the incident the following morning. After a serious man to man talk, we agreed that I take the car to a well known garage along Mirema Drive, obtain a quotation, and inform him immediately. I followed the agreement to the letter. The car was repaired, but the moment the bill landed, Kirubi performed a disappearing act & refused to pay for the damages. I repainted the bumper from my own pocket & bought new fog lights,, all attempts to reach him became as useless as Kaluma’s brains. Then out of nowhere, the gentleman sent me a video of himself wearing a wig, claiming he is not a man and that I should come collect my money in cash. Hii ni Maajabu ya Musa. The man was trying to seduce me. Imagine taking your car for repairs and returning with a bill, only for the person responsible to return wearing a wig and introducing a new identity into the negotiations! Mama watoto who's an advocate of the high court is wondering whether this case will fall under the small claims court or it's a case of identity crisis. I immediately reminded the mumu that my money has absolutely nothing to do with his personal identity or whatever he is trying to communicate. The agreement was simple,, you damaged my car, you pay for the repairs. The mumu resembles Mulamwah, but apparently he wants walimwengu to identify him as a woman. At this point I need therapy, not only has my money drunk water, I'm equally tormented by this whole whole scenario. Mama watoto who is an Advocate of the High Court is thoroughly confused. She’s wondering whether this is a case for the Small Claims Court or a special case of identity crisis. Hata kuandika demand letter imekuwa ngumu. She doesn’t know whether to address the mumu as Mr or Ms on the letterhead. She has advised me to forget about the money and accept that it has joined the missing persons register. According to her, I should protect my Sundus and avoid turning a car repair dispute into an unnecessary drama with members of team sisi kwa sisi. If anyone knows the owner of this car, it's a prado TX KDJ 401X, tell the mumu that sisi kama walala hoii, we shall find him, and he'll point to us where his Kilgoris is located for him to identify himself as daughter of Agrippina, failure to which he'll see what Onyango One Touch saw in Namba Okana back in 1906. Chesaa!!
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The owner of this car is called Kirubi, a man equipped with all the horizontal engineering apparatus until proven otherwise. While I was busy in my humble Hacienda, conducting an intensive cutout search operation belonging to my yellow yellow damsel, this man who was high as a kite, decided to use my car as a handbrake. He hit my car and destroyed the bumper and fog lights. Management briefed me about the incident the following morning. After a serious man to man talk, we agreed that I take the car to a well known garage along Mirema Drive, obtain a quotation, and inform him immediately. I followed the agreement to the letter. The car was repaired, but the moment the bill landed, Kirubi performed a disappearing act & refused to pay for the damages. I repainted the bumper from my own pocket & bought new fog lights,, all attempts to reach him became as useless as Kaluma’s brains. Then out of nowhere, the gentleman sent me a video of himself wearing a wig, claiming he is not a man and that I should come collect my money in cash. Hii ni Maajabu ya Musa. The man was trying to seduce me. Imagine taking your car for repairs and returning with a bill, only for the person responsible to return wearing a wig and introducing a new identity into the negotiations! Mama watoto who's an advocate of the high court is wondering whether this case will fall under the small claims court or it's a case of identity crisis. I immediately reminded the mumu that my money has absolutely nothing to do with his personal identity or whatever he is trying to communicate. The agreement was simple,, you damaged my car, you pay for the repairs. The mumu resembles Mulamwah, but apparently he wants walimwengu to identify him as a woman. At this point I need therapy, not only has my money drunk water, I'm equally tormented by this whole whole scenario. Mama watoto who is an Advocate of the High Court is thoroughly confused. She’s wondering whether this is a case for the Small Claims Court or a special case of identity crisis. Hata kuandika demand letter imekuwa ngumu. She doesn’t know whether to address the mumu as Mr or Ms on the letterhead. She has advised me to forget about the money and accept that it has joined the missing persons register. According to her, I should protect my Sundus and avoid turning a car repair dispute into an unnecessary drama with members of team sisi kwa sisi. If anyone knows the owner of this car, it's a prado TX KDJ 401X, tell the mumu that sisi kama walala hoii, we shall find him, and he'll point to us where his Kilgoris is located for him to identify himself as daughter of Agrippina, failure to which he'll see what Onyango One Touch saw in Namba Okana back in 1906. Chesaa!!

George T. Diano

285,188 views • 2 days ago