George T. Diano
@georgediano • 197,842 subscribers
Twitter for Satire & Peasants|| Story teller|| MBA- Operations Management|| Inspired by Wahome Mutahi.
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Parents of the students accused of killing others at Utumishi Girls. The actions of some parents in causing drama at the police station appear insensitive to the pain being experienced by the affected families. Instead, they should give the police enough time to conduct investigations into the Utumishi Girls incident. Their children are safe in police custody, while other parents are mourning children who are in the mortuary awaiting identification. The best thing they can do now is hire lawyers to ensure their children are treated fairly, allow the investigation to take its course, and show sympathy to the affected families. To ascertain the culpability (theoretically) of students and the bad influence from home, it may be insightful to observe the behavior and demeanor of the parents as depicted in this video. It is very clear the daughter of this man is among the top planners of arson. So sad. Let him look for a lawyer before Tuesday when the suspects will be arraigned in court.
George T. Diano92,099 Aufrufe • vor 4 Tagen
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That Russian guy really did our women dirty. Daughter of Agrippina was dancing like poverty had personally texted her, “Last warning”. She was spinning, twisting & even doing somersaults,, neck on the line, visa in the heart! Msichana wa reggae amebadilisha miondoko, chesaa! The funniest part is that She’s vibing hard, smiling from ear to ear, not even knowing what the song means. Maybe the song was about hunger or monkeys. But daughter of Agrippina was there dancing like she understands every syllable in Cyrillic. Knowing how Kenyan women are delulu, In her mind, she had already found her God-given rib. Wedding already planned in her head, probably thinking of Honeymoon in Moscow. She was dancing with determination. The way she was entertaining the mikoras, You’d think there was a visa application form hidden under the dance floor. One more mkurundu backflip and the embassy would stamp it automatically. She was moving like a possessed cult member at prophet Owuor’s circus. You remember Samson after his eyes were plucked out by the Philistines? They guy was forced to entertain them like an idiot. Now this is the modern version. Except this time it’s self-sponsored entertainment. No chains, no mijeledis, just vibes & false hope. Modern day colonization is real my pipoos. After disease, fear hunger. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀
George T. Diano1,866,391 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten
It was a very bad day in the office for the Mikoras after their “assets recovery mission” was terminated indefinitely before it even began. The hard-eyed fellows had already coordinated a surprise ambush against the son of Adonija, who was walking helter skelter toward his hacienda like a man carrying government secrets in a polythene bag. But little did they know, the Ninja had already sensed danger & armed himself with Kogalo’s RPG. Before the Mikoras could even smell his wealth, son of Adonija launched a stone missile with the accuracy of a military drone,, Chesaa! That stone flew through the air like it had been sponsored by NASA itself. The brick landed directly on one Mikora head who was majestically seated on a motorbike like a komba mwiko. The impact was so serious the man disconnected from the bike spiritually, emotionally and physically at the same time. For a moment the Mikoras forgot about asset recovery mission and immediately switched to survival mode. The matofali was moving like a bullet from a sophisticated rifle imported straight from Ukraine. One of the Mikora ran so fast his slippers remained behind to continue the mission alone. Luckily for them, their fortieth day had not yet arrived. They escaped the scene nursing serious injuries, confusion and unnecessary embarrassment. Reports indicate one of them is still explaining to his family how a mere pedestrian turned into a one man anti-riot police unit within seconds. Ni Mbaya,, Put STONE!!🥲
George T. Diano86,811 Aufrufe • vor 7 Tagen
In 2011 when the country was facing a similar situation of fuel crisis, the then minister for finance Uhuru Kenyatta addressed the issue with utmost respect & professionalism. Uhuru has always been compassionate with his words since kitambo. There was no tribal profiling or incitement saying Kibaki is being targeted for being a Kikuyu & that people never complained about fuel prices when Mzee Nyayo was president for 24 years. During this time, the Botanist with a PhD in Avocado grafting was busy Assembling new KDF (Kapseret Defense Forces) recruits in Mau Summit to cause violence in the 2012 general elections which was later moved to march. Uhuru was no better, But he at least tried during his tenure. William Ruto can NEVER be anything near Uhuru. NEVER EVER!!! I REPEAT, William Ruto CAN NEVER outdo president Uhuru Kenyatta.
George T. Diano156,734 Aufrufe • vor 16 Tagen
If you are in Nairobi and you are holding a nice phone... there are some ladies who, when they see you with it, they start shouting "mwizi!" so that you get beaten up as they take your phone and vanish! A lady tried this trick but the police arrived on time and caught her. She was told to enter the password but she said she couldn't remember it. The guy who was the rightfully owner, was told to enter the password and he did it perfectly fine. Several men have been switched off due to this nonsense in CBD & this women always get away with such crimes. Such women need to be stoned or burnt to death. That’s why it’s hard nowadays for men to help a woman when they hear her shouting that she’s being robbed. Unaenda kusaidia mtu kumbe malaya ako mboka. Gentlemen, normalize minding your business because daughters of Agrippina hawana huruma huku inje. Chesaa!!
George T. Diano199,504 Aufrufe • vor 22 Tagen
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It was a baad bad day in office for the Mikora Taskforce, an elite squad that had apparently mistaken crime for a side hustle. Daughters of Agrippina were apprehended mid-operation while conducting illegal asset recovery and wealth multiplication inside a boutique that doubles as an M-Pesa shop. These three musketeers had perfected a routine. They walk in like innocent customers, request a withdrawal, then deploy mysterious confusion technology a.k.a kifunga macho on the poor M-Pesa agent and vanish with float yioote. Unfortunately today marked their 40th day and as fate would have it, the prophecy was fulfilled instantly and violently. Before they could toka syakaa, caring walimwengu descended with a comprehensive open air massage package with not so happy endings. And as y'all can see, they were disciplined like burukenge. Nyahunyo zilitembea kwa sunduus namna hatari. As we speak, the trio has checked into the govt owned Airbnb where there's complimentary meals, tight security & zero freedom of movement. Sitting down is now a luxury activity reserved for law abiding citizens, Sundus zinawaka moto hapana machesoo. For the next two weeks, they’ll be conducting all meetings while standing, leaning, or negotiating with gravity. The way Kasongo's economy is taking a toll on walimwengu, Mikoras should know that saizi ukishikwa in the line of duty, Kenyans now has a lethal customer feedback system, you will not survive. Chesaa!!
George T. Diano466,273 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten
Rosemary Alionya with her sponsor Mbadi saw birds of Ngethé today as she tried to convince youths whom they had mobilized that the 2026 finance bill is the only way to Softlife. Kijana Mzee was told to go out there & touch some grass na hiyo kizungu yake ya matakataka. They were reminded that the nation is very ready to hit the streets again come next month if the govt fails to remove those punitive taxes.
George T. Diano99,684 Aufrufe • vor 14 Tagen
Gladys Boss Shollei, the woman whose heart is as dark as her skin saw bad bad things in Moiben. You can see from her eyes the frustration, she was told go out there & spread the message of WANTAM. Aliskumwa aende huko na hizo wig zake za matakataka. Ni mbaya!!!🥲🔥🔥
George T. Diano91,089 Aufrufe • vor 14 Tagen
Mhesh from the County Assembly of West Pokot has decided kama mbaya mbaya. Daughter of Agrippina who appeared to be addressing the nation under the heavy influence of Kanamba Special, is now accusing the Speaker of supplying her with high voltage electricity so that her name could mysteriously appear on the list of waheshimiwa headed to Mombasa for a “very important workshop.” But after Daughter of Agrippina allegedly served the honorable Speaker with food that faces the earth, our boy suddenly developed selective amnesia and looked the other way. Honestly this is pure injustice,, after hearing good, the least he could have done was secure Mhesh a window seat to Mombasa. Ayaaam telling you Omwami, Kenya is not for beginners!!🤣🤣🤣🤣
George T. Diano127,332 Aufrufe • vor 22 Tagen
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The road to Singapore is becoming difiikalt as days go by. It's Monday Morning and walimwengu out there are Behaving as if it's Friday. Daughter of Agrippina are busy nursing Kaswende while sons of Adonija are busy hearing good while advancing their appetite for the food that faces the earth. But in all this situation, the monkey assassin carried the day. Kiptoo is right in the confines of cloud 7 taking matters into his own hands. No wonder mahindi imekata kumea vizuri Ript falleey despite moderate rainfall, watu wameingia udevo worshipping. May Yehova Wanyonyi intervene aki.🥹
George T. Diano54,781 Aufrufe • vor 10 Tagen
This one got me off!!😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
George T. Diano150,934 Aufrufe • vor 29 Tagen
