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George T. Diano

@georgediano • 203,632 subscribers

Twitter for Satire & Peasants|| Story teller|| MBA- Operations Management|| Inspired by Wahome Mutahi.

Shorts

The level of corruption and malice happening at JKIA parking by KAA officers is out of this world. Yesterday, an officer directed me where to park and demanded that I squeeze a little bit so that another car could fit. As we were busy removing our bags, the KAA officers clamped the car, insisting that I had parked wrongly by crossing the painted line. I pointed out the traffic officer who had insisted that I park that way, only for the officer to disappear into thin air. The KAA officer then insisted that I either bribe him KSh 4,000 or go to their office and part ways with a KSh 6,000 fine. The cab guys who were there called me and told me, “Bro, hao watu wamezoea kutega hivyo. Walipe tu badala ya maneno mingi.” At that point, I knew this was pure malice. I decided to first take my yellow yellow damsel to catch her flight, then came back few minutes later. The KAA guy approached me, and this time, the bribe had miraculously reduced to KSh 3,000. I asked them where their office was, went there, and paid the KSh 6,000 fine through the government platform. Everyone was looking at me with Sanpanku eyes & one even had the audacity to ask me why I didn't settle things with the guys at the parking lot. These guys needs to be stopped coz they even harassed innocent tourists. As for me, I’d rather pay the fine than being oppressed by my fellow Walala Hoii,, kiino sana. Ata wangeitisha hongo ya thao Moja ama mbili, thao tatu kwani me ni mama yao. The guy on camera is the goon in charge of bribe operation.

The level of corruption and malice happening at JKIA parking by KAA officers is out of this world. Yesterday, an officer directed me where to park and demanded that I squeeze a little bit so that another car could fit. As we were busy removing our bags, the KAA officers clamped the car, insisting that I had parked wrongly by crossing the painted line. I pointed out the traffic officer who had insisted that I park that way, only for the officer to disappear into thin air. The KAA officer then insisted that I either bribe him KSh 4,000 or go to their office and part ways with a KSh 6,000 fine. The cab guys who were there called me and told me, “Bro, hao watu wamezoea kutega hivyo. Walipe tu badala ya maneno mingi.” At that point, I knew this was pure malice. I decided to first take my yellow yellow damsel to catch her flight, then came back few minutes later. The KAA guy approached me, and this time, the bribe had miraculously reduced to KSh 3,000. I asked them where their office was, went there, and paid the KSh 6,000 fine through the government platform. Everyone was looking at me with Sanpanku eyes & one even had the audacity to ask me why I didn't settle things with the guys at the parking lot. These guys needs to be stopped coz they even harassed innocent tourists. As for me, I’d rather pay the fine than being oppressed by my fellow Walala Hoii,, kiino sana. Ata wangeitisha hongo ya thao Moja ama mbili, thao tatu kwani me ni mama yao. The guy on camera is the goon in charge of bribe operation.

191,872 views

As I had highlighted few days ago, Walala had their tent erected 300 meters away from the main event in Kilgoris. They followed the event through a big screen as they enjoy refreshments & minofu bcoz what was needed is only their presence to complete the hustler’s narrative.

As I had highlighted few days ago, Walala had their tent erected 300 meters away from the main event in Kilgoris. They followed the event through a big screen as they enjoy refreshments & minofu bcoz what was needed is only their presence to complete the hustler’s narrative.

102,376 views

Today's man of the match is Mulabbi Ismael. I love the men we are becoming.

Today's man of the match is Mulabbi Ismael. I love the men we are becoming.

165,682 views

These are the kind of things children remember into adulthood. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.🥲

These are the kind of things children remember into adulthood. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.🥲

124,322 views

Wamesema anadance kama mermaid.😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Wamesema anadance kama mermaid.😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

105,212 views

Watch the video keenly, Oburu Odinga didn't eat the cake Ruto gave him? Watch clearly and see that he later took the cake from his mouth and threw. Winnie Odinga whisper to his uncle before he received the cake from kasongo. There's something this family knows that we don't?

Watch the video keenly, Oburu Odinga didn't eat the cake Ruto gave him? Watch clearly and see that he later took the cake from his mouth and threw. Winnie Odinga whisper to his uncle before he received the cake from kasongo. There's something this family knows that we don't?

329,291 views

Our fellow men are hearing good out there. I don't know why such Sundus carrier are always not facially convincing. Anyway, No weapon formed against my wallet shall prosper, hii mwaka Lazima ni chimbe choo Sikhendu.🌚

Our fellow men are hearing good out there. I don't know why such Sundus carrier are always not facially convincing. Anyway, No weapon formed against my wallet shall prosper, hii mwaka Lazima ni chimbe choo Sikhendu.🌚

146,376 views

Ama aliongea Kizungu. Vumbi everywhere... Ni mbaya!!😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Ama aliongea Kizungu. Vumbi everywhere... Ni mbaya!!😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

35,170 views

Sifuna sounds slightly brilliant than Oscar Sudi. But I think this is AI Kumaliza Omwami!😂😂

Sifuna sounds slightly brilliant than Oscar Sudi. But I think this is AI Kumaliza Omwami!😂😂

34,954 views

In Emurua Dikirr, the DCP candidate is moving around with a caravan full of Rigathi Gachagua’s pictures. In Ol Kalou, the UDA candidates were avoiding to include William Ruto’s picture on their posters. Kipsigis people are not cowards, we grab the bull by its balls. Chesaa!!

In Emurua Dikirr, the DCP candidate is moving around with a caravan full of Rigathi Gachagua’s pictures. In Ol Kalou, the UDA candidates were avoiding to include William Ruto’s picture on their posters. Kipsigis people are not cowards, we grab the bull by its balls. Chesaa!!

120,609 views

Wetiin be this!!!😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Wetiin be this!!!😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

38,297 views

Kenyan athlete Nickson Rotich collapsed and died during a morning training run in Iten. Rest in peace champ 🕊️

Kenyan athlete Nickson Rotich collapsed and died during a morning training run in Iten. Rest in peace champ 🕊️

177,140 views

Mailood, he is almost crying. 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Mailood, he is almost crying. 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

330,356 views

Kimani Ichungwah must be puking blood.🥲

Kimani Ichungwah must be puking blood.🥲

277,543 views

Citizen is saving a brother from Yamune killer squad. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Citizen is saving a brother from Yamune killer squad. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

94,623 views

Maina Njenga's tax collectors are back on the streets after being wiped out by the late Michuki 18 years ago. This comes exactly one month after the Mungiki sect leader assured his militia that the government, through Kithure Kindiki, is fully behind their operations.

Maina Njenga's tax collectors are back on the streets after being wiped out by the late Michuki 18 years ago. This comes exactly one month after the Mungiki sect leader assured his militia that the government, through Kithure Kindiki, is fully behind their operations.

357,145 views

Nairobi is not for the weak!! Pale Cbd imebidi Mama Mbithe ainuiwe matawi na apigie firimbi to cooperate and blend in, matunda zisiende na waombolezaji. Awuoro!😭😭😂😂😂😂

Nairobi is not for the weak!! Pale Cbd imebidi Mama Mbithe ainuiwe matawi na apigie firimbi to cooperate and blend in, matunda zisiende na waombolezaji. Awuoro!😭😭😂😂😂😂

206,893 views

Maria Josefu Family of Heaven,, our gal Alionya was left staring at the Abyss with her sanpanku eyes. Chesaa!!😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Maria Josefu Family of Heaven,, our gal Alionya was left staring at the Abyss with her sanpanku eyes. Chesaa!!😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

48,572 views

Ruto has launched a project in foreign land where the president of that country has no idea. Mama Samia Suluhu amewaka moto hapana machesoo!!🥲😂😂😂😂😂

Ruto has launched a project in foreign land where the president of that country has no idea. Mama Samia Suluhu amewaka moto hapana machesoo!!🥲😂😂😂😂😂

82,730 views

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WAIT TILL YOU FIND OUT WHAT THIS ADVERT IS ACTUALLY ABOUT!!😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂
0:42
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WAIT TILL YOU FIND OUT WHAT THIS ADVERT IS ACTUALLY ABOUT!!😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂

George T. Diano

1,537,154 views • 9 days ago

Since men became wise on their finances women live in resentment. We are Unplugged madam.
0:37
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Since men became wise on their finances women live in resentment. We are Unplugged madam.

George T. Diano

422,366 views • 6 days ago

Rosemary Chemutai and her husband Kevin were featured on Perfect Marriage three years ago. Everything seemed well, and you can’t help but wonder: where did the rain start beating them? May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.
4:53
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Rosemary Chemutai and her husband Kevin were featured on Perfect Marriage three years ago. Everything seemed well, and you can’t help but wonder: where did the rain start beating them? May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.

George T. Diano

186,915 views • 4 days ago

That statement from Kaluma stabbed Milly right in the heart. Kaluma has become something else ever since he was Sodomized in Russia.🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️
0:46
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That statement from Kaluma stabbed Milly right in the heart. Kaluma has become something else ever since he was Sodomized in Russia.🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️

George T. Diano

275,421 views • 8 days ago

The day Fridah Onduso was appointed to the Linda Mwananchi Youth League, Kasmuel disappeared from interviews. The lady is eloquent, very intelligent, and sophisticated. He was used to kina Gen Z baddie who don't even know the difference between a circle & a sphere. Saizi Kasmuel hawezi onekana mahali Onduso ako, katamaliswa!
0:50
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The day Fridah Onduso was appointed to the Linda Mwananchi Youth League, Kasmuel disappeared from interviews. The lady is eloquent, very intelligent, and sophisticated. He was used to kina Gen Z baddie who don't even know the difference between a circle & a sphere. Saizi Kasmuel hawezi onekana mahali Onduso ako, katamaliswa!

George T. Diano

92,163 views • 3 days ago

Sayuni's WiFi technicians were working overtime. It's bad bad bad!!!😬😬🥶🥶🥶🥶
0:33
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Sayuni's WiFi technicians were working overtime. It's bad bad bad!!!😬😬🥶🥶🥶🥶

George T. Diano

255,467 views • 11 days ago

When will the society start talking on men's mental health. Bro has reached rock bottom.💔🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️
2:16
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When will the society start talking on men's mental health. Bro has reached rock bottom.💔🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️

George T. Diano

28,524 views • 1 day ago

It breaks my heart seeing a man, a father, a brother and an uncle to someone being roughed up like that. Who's that imbecile with the flower shirt?🤦🏽‍♂️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
1:00
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It breaks my heart seeing a man, a father, a brother and an uncle to someone being roughed up like that. Who's that imbecile with the flower shirt?🤦🏽‍♂️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

George T. Diano

132,766 views • 9 days ago

The Chapati making machine is here but walimwengu are asking why the county opted to procured Chapati choma machine instead of soft layered one. Buana zinatoka zikiwa zimekauka namna hatari. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember our little pikiins studying in poling stations.
0:26
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The Chapati making machine is here but walimwengu are asking why the county opted to procured Chapati choma machine instead of soft layered one. Buana zinatoka zikiwa zimekauka namna hatari. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember our little pikiins studying in poling stations.

George T. Diano

97,747 views • 8 days ago

Sharp boy kwa ubora wake. Pulpit bandit ako mboka namna hatari. Mikora everywhere.😁
0:39
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Sharp boy kwa ubora wake. Pulpit bandit ako mboka namna hatari. Mikora everywhere.😁

George T. Diano

57,558 views • 6 days ago

See Mumu!!😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
5:10
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See Mumu!!😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

George T. Diano

245,988 views • 29 days ago

That Russian guy really did our women dirty. Daughter of Agrippina was dancing like poverty had personally texted her, “Last warning”. She was spinning, twisting & even doing somersaults,, neck on the line, visa in the heart! Msichana wa reggae amebadilisha miondoko, chesaa! The funniest part is that She’s vibing hard, smiling from ear to ear, not even knowing what the song means. Maybe the song was about hunger or monkeys. But daughter of Agrippina was there dancing like she understands every syllable in Cyrillic. Knowing how Kenyan women are delulu, In her mind, she had already found her God-given rib. Wedding already planned in her head, probably thinking of Honeymoon in Moscow. She was dancing with determination. The way she was entertaining the mikoras, You’d think there was a visa application form hidden under the dance floor. One more mkurundu backflip and the embassy would stamp it automatically. She was moving like a possessed cult member at prophet Owuor’s circus. You remember Samson after his eyes were plucked out by the Philistines? They guy was forced to entertain them like an idiot. Now this is the modern version. Except this time it’s self-sponsored entertainment. No chains, no mijeledis, just vibes & false hope. Modern day colonization is real my pipoos. After disease, fear hunger. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀
0:49
georgediano's profile picture

That Russian guy really did our women dirty. Daughter of Agrippina was dancing like poverty had personally texted her, “Last warning”. She was spinning, twisting & even doing somersaults,, neck on the line, visa in the heart! Msichana wa reggae amebadilisha miondoko, chesaa! The funniest part is that She’s vibing hard, smiling from ear to ear, not even knowing what the song means. Maybe the song was about hunger or monkeys. But daughter of Agrippina was there dancing like she understands every syllable in Cyrillic. Knowing how Kenyan women are delulu, In her mind, she had already found her God-given rib. Wedding already planned in her head, probably thinking of Honeymoon in Moscow. She was dancing with determination. The way she was entertaining the mikoras, You’d think there was a visa application form hidden under the dance floor. One more mkurundu backflip and the embassy would stamp it automatically. She was moving like a possessed cult member at prophet Owuor’s circus. You remember Samson after his eyes were plucked out by the Philistines? They guy was forced to entertain them like an idiot. Now this is the modern version. Except this time it’s self-sponsored entertainment. No chains, no mijeledis, just vibes & false hope. Modern day colonization is real my pipoos. After disease, fear hunger. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

George T. Diano

1,876,917 views • 6 months ago

Na bado kinuthia Anataka ku-bite. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
2:40
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Na bado kinuthia Anataka ku-bite. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

George T. Diano

171,013 views • 22 days ago

You see that thing called poverty, it's bad bad. If you mix it with illiteracy, it's worse!!
0:57
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You see that thing called poverty, it's bad bad. If you mix it with illiteracy, it's worse!!

George T. Diano

334,699 views • 1 month ago

It seems our boy Asamoh is the chief defence minister in the ministry of Sundus, Kisumu county. He must escort it to its safety,, buana Broadbased minions are hearing good.
1:00
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It seems our boy Asamoh is the chief defence minister in the ministry of Sundus, Kisumu county. He must escort it to its safety,, buana Broadbased minions are hearing good.

George T. Diano

203,227 views • 1 month ago

Mikoras who had been terrorizing Kisumu residents escaped Sayuni's WiFi signal by a whisker after DCI sleuths missed the target as the duo fled the scene following a successful clearing and forwarding mission. Today, someone's mother would have been crying kwikwi while erecting a tent to receive mourners ready to feast that rice that cooks one one. Unfortunately for the undertakers, business was postponed after the two Mikoras were arrested when their getaway motorbike suddenly developed stage fright and refused to accelerate. Chesaa!!
0:51
georgediano's profile picture

Mikoras who had been terrorizing Kisumu residents escaped Sayuni's WiFi signal by a whisker after DCI sleuths missed the target as the duo fled the scene following a successful clearing and forwarding mission. Today, someone's mother would have been crying kwikwi while erecting a tent to receive mourners ready to feast that rice that cooks one one. Unfortunately for the undertakers, business was postponed after the two Mikoras were arrested when their getaway motorbike suddenly developed stage fright and refused to accelerate. Chesaa!!

George T. Diano

188,248 views • 1 month ago

English is Englishing. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos of Nyandarua.
0:45
georgediano's profile picture

English is Englishing. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos of Nyandarua.

George T. Diano

23,086 views • 3 days ago

May Yehova Wanyonyi protect his poor pipoos.👀
0:50
georgediano's profile picture

May Yehova Wanyonyi protect his poor pipoos.👀

George T. Diano

54,886 views • 9 days ago

At 23, daughter of Agrippina is already crashing out in that thing called Mareej. Son of Adonija ameuma uma Sundus then decided to murife to Sinaloa. Neighbors then decided to beat the mouth about the predicaments facing the newly crowned singo mother, and daughter of Agrippina got the Intel. She has now decided to raise an alarm warning kameme Marchants to stitch their Kanua otherwise watajua kilicho mtoa kanga manyoya. Ni mbaya ayaaam telling you. Chesaa!!
1:51
georgediano's profile picture

At 23, daughter of Agrippina is already crashing out in that thing called Mareej. Son of Adonija ameuma uma Sundus then decided to murife to Sinaloa. Neighbors then decided to beat the mouth about the predicaments facing the newly crowned singo mother, and daughter of Agrippina got the Intel. She has now decided to raise an alarm warning kameme Marchants to stitch their Kanua otherwise watajua kilicho mtoa kanga manyoya. Ni mbaya ayaaam telling you. Chesaa!!

George T. Diano

95,473 views • 16 days ago

Parts of Nairobi West and Thika Road residents have been receiving dirty, contaminated water that smells like sewage since afternoon. Nairobi Water Company insists that this mostly happens after maintenance, saying it is normal. This is a health hazard.
0:55
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Parts of Nairobi West and Thika Road residents have been receiving dirty, contaminated water that smells like sewage since afternoon. Nairobi Water Company insists that this mostly happens after maintenance, saying it is normal. This is a health hazard.

George T. Diano

149,150 views • 26 days ago