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George T. Diano

@georgediano197,846 subscribers

Twitter for Satire & Peasants|| Story teller|| MBA- Operations Management|| Inspired by Wahome Mutahi.

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In Emurua Dikirr, the DCP candidate is moving around with a caravan full of Rigathi Gachagua’s pictures. In Ol Kalou, the UDA candidates were avoiding to include William Ruto’s picture on their posters. Kipsigis people are not cowards, we grab the bull by its balls. Chesaa!!

In Emurua Dikirr, the DCP candidate is moving around with a caravan full of Rigathi Gachagua’s pictures. In Ol Kalou, the UDA candidates were avoiding to include William Ruto’s picture on their posters. Kipsigis people are not cowards, we grab the bull by its balls. Chesaa!!

120,609 görüntüleme

Her name is Ann Kioko, and as you can see, daughter of Agrippina is breathing fire like a dragon. So Ann travels to the U.S with the dream of pursuing nursing. Gibson Nyakundi, a single man with a good heart & a very healthy makagare decides to host her. As expected “we are just roommates” slowly upgraded to horizontal engineering manenos. Nyakundi began supplying high-voltage electricity without an iota of blackouts. But remember, according to them, it was still just friendship with no strings attached. A Purely academic collaboration. Months later, Nyakundi meets Abebo Nyama mbichi, a yellow yellow damsel from Pennsylvania. Our boy decides it’s time to settle down with one of our colonizers. So he calls Ann for a serious meeting & politely informs her that the management has decided to transition into a family setup. She should Kindly make arrangements to relocate. That’s when everything went sege mnege for our boy. Ann basically said utajua hujui. After months of uninterrupted electricity supply, she felt like Nyakundi was being unfair to her. Before Nyakundi could even finish his sentence, the house turned into Gaza. Plates started flying like they had wings, glasses began early retirement, and electronics started seeing their ancestors. It was no longer a home, it was a battlefield. And just when you think it couldn’t get worse, madam escalated things with threats. She took a knife & charged towards Nyakundi, hapo ndio our boy aliona hapa, nikuhoru muno muno muno. Nyakundi, now fighting for both his life and whatever furniture was still breathing, alitoka Kihuti Moja kwa Moja hadi stesheen to report the matter to authorities. But Ann is a sharp girl, She activated escape mode immediately. Before the authorities caught up with her, she was already on a flight back to Kenya like a VIP evacuation mission. Now she’s back home, living her best life like nothing happened. While somewhere in the U.S., Nyakundi is probably sitting on a plastic chair, staring at empty walls, wondering how no strings attached turned into Sayuni's trials. Fear woman oooh!!

Her name is Ann Kioko, and as you can see, daughter of Agrippina is breathing fire like a dragon. So Ann travels to the U.S with the dream of pursuing nursing. Gibson Nyakundi, a single man with a good heart & a very healthy makagare decides to host her. As expected “we are just roommates” slowly upgraded to horizontal engineering manenos. Nyakundi began supplying high-voltage electricity without an iota of blackouts. But remember, according to them, it was still just friendship with no strings attached. A Purely academic collaboration. Months later, Nyakundi meets Abebo Nyama mbichi, a yellow yellow damsel from Pennsylvania. Our boy decides it’s time to settle down with one of our colonizers. So he calls Ann for a serious meeting & politely informs her that the management has decided to transition into a family setup. She should Kindly make arrangements to relocate. That’s when everything went sege mnege for our boy. Ann basically said utajua hujui. After months of uninterrupted electricity supply, she felt like Nyakundi was being unfair to her. Before Nyakundi could even finish his sentence, the house turned into Gaza. Plates started flying like they had wings, glasses began early retirement, and electronics started seeing their ancestors. It was no longer a home, it was a battlefield. And just when you think it couldn’t get worse, madam escalated things with threats. She took a knife & charged towards Nyakundi, hapo ndio our boy aliona hapa, nikuhoru muno muno muno. Nyakundi, now fighting for both his life and whatever furniture was still breathing, alitoka Kihuti Moja kwa Moja hadi stesheen to report the matter to authorities. But Ann is a sharp girl, She activated escape mode immediately. Before the authorities caught up with her, she was already on a flight back to Kenya like a VIP evacuation mission. Now she’s back home, living her best life like nothing happened. While somewhere in the U.S., Nyakundi is probably sitting on a plastic chair, staring at empty walls, wondering how no strings attached turned into Sayuni's trials. Fear woman oooh!!

194,713 görüntüleme

Our fellow men are hearing good out there. I don't know why such Sundus carrier are always not facially convincing. Anyway, No weapon formed against my wallet shall prosper, hii mwaka Lazima ni chimbe choo Sikhendu.🌚

Our fellow men are hearing good out there. I don't know why such Sundus carrier are always not facially convincing. Anyway, No weapon formed against my wallet shall prosper, hii mwaka Lazima ni chimbe choo Sikhendu.🌚

145,717 görüntüleme

Citizen is saving a brother from Yamune killer squad. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Citizen is saving a brother from Yamune killer squad. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

94,523 görüntüleme

Displaying luck of civility in front of a young sensible child. Firstborn son eating depression raw, we need to sit back & reflect as men. This is not it man.💔💔💔

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Displaying luck of civility in front of a young sensible child. Firstborn son eating depression raw, we need to sit back & reflect as men. This is not it man.💔💔💔

800,396 görüntüleme

Ruto has launched a project in foreign land where the president of that country has no idea. Mama Samia Suluhu amewaka moto hapana machesoo!!🥲😂😂😂😂😂

Ruto has launched a project in foreign land where the president of that country has no idea. Mama Samia Suluhu amewaka moto hapana machesoo!!🥲😂😂😂😂😂

82,403 görüntüleme

I'm told the lady was caught collecting firewood in someone's land. The incident happened in Bomachoge. This is someone's mother ffs!!

I'm told the lady was caught collecting firewood in someone's land. The incident happened in Bomachoge. This is someone's mother ffs!!

82,545 görüntüleme

Kenyan athlete Nickson Rotich collapsed and died during a morning training run in Iten. Rest in peace champ 🕊️

Kenyan athlete Nickson Rotich collapsed and died during a morning training run in Iten. Rest in peace champ 🕊️

177,021 görüntüleme

Watch the video keenly, Oburu Odinga didn't eat the cake Ruto gave him? Watch clearly and see that he later took the cake from his mouth and threw. Winnie Odinga whisper to his uncle before he received the cake from kasongo. There's something this family knows that we don't?

Watch the video keenly, Oburu Odinga didn't eat the cake Ruto gave him? Watch clearly and see that he later took the cake from his mouth and threw. Winnie Odinga whisper to his uncle before he received the cake from kasongo. There's something this family knows that we don't?

326,779 görüntüleme

Clock app will show us things. As a Mortician was creating content while preparing a body for embalming, the corpse suddenly released gas, which doctors say is part of post-mortem changes called rigor mortis a.k.a the last fart. Mkufi ameachilia freno namna hatari.🥲😂😂😂😂

Clock app will show us things. As a Mortician was creating content while preparing a body for embalming, the corpse suddenly released gas, which doctors say is part of post-mortem changes called rigor mortis a.k.a the last fart. Mkufi ameachilia freno namna hatari.🥲😂😂😂😂

83,254 görüntüleme

This family dey Dangerous Ooooh!!🥲🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This family dey Dangerous Ooooh!!🥲🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

58,066 görüntüleme

Kimani Ichungwah must be puking blood.🥲

Kimani Ichungwah must be puking blood.🥲

277,491 görüntüleme

Mailood, he is almost crying. 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Mailood, he is almost crying. 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

330,083 görüntüleme

Ni kubad everywhere ayaaam telling you!!!😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Ni kubad everywhere ayaaam telling you!!!😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

66,239 görüntüleme

Hapa hakuna mtu.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Hapa hakuna mtu.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

105,317 görüntüleme

Nairobi is not for the weak!! Pale Cbd imebidi Mama Mbithe ainuiwe matawi na apigie firimbi to cooperate and blend in, matunda zisiende na waombolezaji. Awuoro!😭😭😂😂😂😂

Nairobi is not for the weak!! Pale Cbd imebidi Mama Mbithe ainuiwe matawi na apigie firimbi to cooperate and blend in, matunda zisiende na waombolezaji. Awuoro!😭😭😂😂😂😂

206,893 görüntüleme

Irony of life running for longevity only to miss death by a whisker. At this point, the odds of dying by a rhino are higher than for cholesterol. Chesaa!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Irony of life running for longevity only to miss death by a whisker. At this point, the odds of dying by a rhino are higher than for cholesterol. Chesaa!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

50,539 görüntüleme

Maina Njenga's tax collectors are back on the streets after being wiped out by the late Michuki 18 years ago. This comes exactly one month after the Mungiki sect leader assured his militia that the government, through Kithure Kindiki, is fully behind their operations.

Maina Njenga's tax collectors are back on the streets after being wiped out by the late Michuki 18 years ago. This comes exactly one month after the Mungiki sect leader assured his militia that the government, through Kithure Kindiki, is fully behind their operations.

357,145 görüntüleme

Kasongo amefanyia Waria nini tena.🥲😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Kasongo amefanyia Waria nini tena.🥲😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

34,487 görüntüleme

Mungai Eve is a woman standing at the edge of reality, holding on to broken dreams, wondering where life did her dirty. After she showed our boy Trevor premium DUST, the young man had no choice but to enroll himself at the prestigious Kalahari Desert University of Science & Technology (K-DUST) where Dust reign supreme. Madam Eve, formerly known as the Princess of Content, Empress of Vlogs, and CEO of “Hi guys welcome back to my YouTube channel,” is now posting thirst traps that are fighting the laws of physics. Her boobies are in a cold war with gravity & her Bermuda Triangle is doing more PR than Kenya Tourism Board. If attention was a talent, she would already have a Grammy, a BET award & a Head of State Commendation from Kasongo. But you see, women with no morals always have it easy out here. The moment you start sinking, heading to the rock bottom, just expose your tools of trade & suddenly sons of Adam will appear to rescue you as they harvest the sacred fruits of fulumbanya. One will send airtime, another will send rent & the legendary ones will ask “how much do you need to bend again my queen?” But for the boychild? Wooooi Nyasaye,,, Before you even approach rock bottom, daughters of Agrippina are already tightening your seatbelt, adjusting your headrest, and pressing the DESCEND FASTER button like they’re pressing the power button on their vibrators helping you to reach rock bottom faster. By the time you call for help, even Safaricom will stop calling you dear & pretend it doesn’t know you. This earth is hard for the boychild. In fact, if difficulty was a national exam, boychild is already repeating the class. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember us all the time. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu. 👀

Mungai Eve is a woman standing at the edge of reality, holding on to broken dreams, wondering where life did her dirty. After she showed our boy Trevor premium DUST, the young man had no choice but to enroll himself at the prestigious Kalahari Desert University of Science & Technology (K-DUST) where Dust reign supreme. Madam Eve, formerly known as the Princess of Content, Empress of Vlogs, and CEO of “Hi guys welcome back to my YouTube channel,” is now posting thirst traps that are fighting the laws of physics. Her boobies are in a cold war with gravity & her Bermuda Triangle is doing more PR than Kenya Tourism Board. If attention was a talent, she would already have a Grammy, a BET award & a Head of State Commendation from Kasongo. But you see, women with no morals always have it easy out here. The moment you start sinking, heading to the rock bottom, just expose your tools of trade & suddenly sons of Adam will appear to rescue you as they harvest the sacred fruits of fulumbanya. One will send airtime, another will send rent & the legendary ones will ask “how much do you need to bend again my queen?” But for the boychild? Wooooi Nyasaye,,, Before you even approach rock bottom, daughters of Agrippina are already tightening your seatbelt, adjusting your headrest, and pressing the DESCEND FASTER button like they’re pressing the power button on their vibrators helping you to reach rock bottom faster. By the time you call for help, even Safaricom will stop calling you dear & pretend it doesn’t know you. This earth is hard for the boychild. In fact, if difficulty was a national exam, boychild is already repeating the class. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember us all the time. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu. 👀

141,371 görüntüleme

Videos

What kind of inhumanity is this honestly.🤦🏽‍♂️
1:00

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It was a very bad day in the office for the Mikoras after their “assets recovery mission” was terminated indefinitely before it even began. The hard-eyed fellows had already coordinated a surprise ambush against the son of Adonija, who was walking helter skelter toward his hacienda like a man carrying government secrets in a polythene bag. But little did they know, the Ninja had already sensed danger & armed himself with Kogalo’s RPG. Before the Mikoras could even smell his wealth, son of Adonija launched a stone missile with the accuracy of a military drone,, Chesaa! That stone flew through the air like it had been sponsored by NASA itself. The brick landed directly on one Mikora head who was majestically seated on a motorbike like a komba mwiko. The impact was so serious the man disconnected from the bike spiritually, emotionally and physically at the same time. For a moment the Mikoras forgot about asset recovery mission and immediately switched to survival mode. The matofali was moving like a bullet from a sophisticated rifle imported straight from Ukraine. One of the Mikora ran so fast his slippers remained behind to continue the mission alone. Luckily for them, their fortieth day had not yet arrived. They escaped the scene nursing serious injuries, confusion and unnecessary embarrassment. Reports indicate one of them is still explaining to his family how a mere pedestrian turned into a one man anti-riot police unit within seconds. Ni Mbaya,, Put STONE!!🥲

George T. Diano

86,811 görüntüleme • 7 gün önce

It was a baad bad day in office for the Mikora Taskforce, an elite squad that had apparently mistaken crime for a side hustle. Daughters of Agrippina were apprehended mid-operation while conducting illegal asset recovery and wealth multiplication inside a boutique that doubles as an M-Pesa shop. These three musketeers had perfected a routine. They walk in like innocent customers, request a withdrawal, then deploy mysterious confusion technology a.k.a kifunga macho on the poor M-Pesa agent and vanish with float yioote. Unfortunately today marked their 40th day and as fate would have it, the prophecy was fulfilled instantly and violently. Before they could toka syakaa, caring walimwengu descended with a comprehensive open air massage package with not so happy endings. And as y'all can see, they were disciplined like burukenge. Nyahunyo zilitembea kwa sunduus namna hatari. As we speak, the trio has checked into the govt owned Airbnb where there's complimentary meals, tight security & zero freedom of movement. Sitting down is now a luxury activity reserved for law abiding citizens, Sundus zinawaka moto hapana machesoo. For the next two weeks, they’ll be conducting all meetings while standing, leaning, or negotiating with gravity. The way Kasongo's economy is taking a toll on walimwengu, Mikoras should know that saizi ukishikwa in the line of duty, Kenyans now has a lethal customer feedback system, you will not survive. Chesaa!!
0:30

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It was a baad bad day in office for the Mikora Taskforce, an elite squad that had apparently mistaken crime for a side hustle. Daughters of Agrippina were apprehended mid-operation while conducting illegal asset recovery and wealth multiplication inside a boutique that doubles as an M-Pesa shop. These three musketeers had perfected a routine. They walk in like innocent customers, request a withdrawal, then deploy mysterious confusion technology a.k.a kifunga macho on the poor M-Pesa agent and vanish with float yioote. Unfortunately today marked their 40th day and as fate would have it, the prophecy was fulfilled instantly and violently. Before they could toka syakaa, caring walimwengu descended with a comprehensive open air massage package with not so happy endings. And as y'all can see, they were disciplined like burukenge. Nyahunyo zilitembea kwa sunduus namna hatari. As we speak, the trio has checked into the govt owned Airbnb where there's complimentary meals, tight security & zero freedom of movement. Sitting down is now a luxury activity reserved for law abiding citizens, Sundus zinawaka moto hapana machesoo. For the next two weeks, they’ll be conducting all meetings while standing, leaning, or negotiating with gravity. The way Kasongo's economy is taking a toll on walimwengu, Mikoras should know that saizi ukishikwa in the line of duty, Kenyans now has a lethal customer feedback system, you will not survive. Chesaa!!

George T. Diano

466,273 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce