BREAKING: A Dragon has attacked Helgan interrupting a live NBC broadcast covering the execution of Ulfric Stormcloak.
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“Would you be interested in getting into Magic the gather-
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Me: hey bartender I’m feeling rather thirsty you got anything to drink? The bartender who is actually an evil witch in disguise and trying trick me into drinking their sinister potion: *ohhoho* let me pour you something sinist- I mean “refreshing”
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Druids taking their pet tree out for a walk
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The tiny man inside my Steam Controller when I get pissed off while playing a game and shatter my controller against the wall in a fit of rage
Hey has anyone seen the gelatinous cube I wasn’t able to find it in the dungeon? My fat chud of an apprentice in the other room:
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Happy Valentine’s Day!
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Riddle goblin: Not so fast adventurers if you wish to pass by me you must solve my riddles three Wizard: I wasn’t expecting to encounter any riddles during our journey we might be in for quite th- The barbarian who just downed an entire elixir of bloodlust:
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Where is my crystal ball I can’t find it anywhere? My gluttonous familiar:
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POV: you are a dwarf and a fearsome dragon is attempting to enter your mine and steal your riches
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Egads it appears I’ve been abducted by a mindflayer ship I need to find a way off this vessel immediately i just hope I don’t run into any resistance during my harrowing escape! The insidious intellect devourer:
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Necromancers just be resurrecting anything now
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Warlock: I made a deal with a devil and in exchange for my soul I can invoke other worldly powers to destroy my enemies with Sorcerer: I am able to naturally channel the magic that surrounds us to cast spells that would otherwise take years of study to master Artificer:
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Oh dear it appears I’m all alone in this empty and decrepit castle! I sure hope nothing horrifying is plotting to jump out from the shadows and frighten me.. The Terrifying Count Dracula:
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When you fuck up the two guard’s riddle and choose the wrong door
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BY THE NINE IM TWEAKING
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The farmer that hired some adventurers to deal with a goblin problem watching the wizard whiff their spell and send a fireball straight into his house with his wife and children still inside
