
Jordan Schmaltz
@J_Swish24 • 41,710 subscribers
Cuppa cups of Joe @nhl, 1x @TheAhl AllStar. Not saying I was good. Talkin shit 🎙️@HomeBy3Official @liveinfivepod @missincurfew The Peoples Insider📞 @bookitHQ
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F*ck it. One liner mixtape from yours truly. And yes I did say wrench on national television -93.1
Jordan Schmaltz443,883 просмотров • 1 месяц назад

Who is running the Swedish bench? Not playing a guy that’s tucked 48 one year in the national. What a dipshit #FREEFIL -93.1
Jordan Schmaltz515,119 просмотров • 3 месяцев назад

The biggest cardinal sin in hockey. Never EVER go chin over shin..
Jordan Schmaltz2,073,933 просмотров • 1 год назад

The Morgan Wallen walk out is the best thing in showbiz. Camp Randall. Madison WI feat Perc Favre 🐐🐐
Jordan Schmaltz643,670 просмотров • 11 месяцев назад

🚨Official Press Release on Açaí #BowlGate: For those who don’t follow me on X, basically what happened was a certain group of Utah Mammoth fans accused me of “standing up” one of their members after making an effort to make things right (offering to buy an açaí bowl) despite the posse telling me I’m not welcome in Utah several times. I just want to get out in front of this and address the miscommunication on several levels. #1 This was never a date. Even though the “victim” went from being “scared” of me to wanting to take the next step in a relationship. This was a fan / to fan meet up. #2 if you win the lottery, you have to claim your prize. No hard feelings on my end towards the certain individual involved directly in the situation - let’s chalk that up to a miscommunication. Not once did this individual let me know they/ them were at the game. However, what do I have a problem with is the random asshole bystanders who know nothing about #BowlGate throwing gasoline on the fire and threatening my life over an açaí bowl. Imagine telling someone to kill themselves over an açaí bowl? You are the people I’m telling to go fk yourself. Let me make that clear. Still lots of love for the good people of Utah. No further comment at this time. -Swish
Jordan Schmaltz397,332 просмотров • 7 месяцев назад

Can somebody show this to Kelly McCrimmon? I could text it to him but I need an agent to forward this to his chin and let my piss missile clinic do the talking. Kelly, if you’re reading this, which I know you aren’t, I’m looking for a PTO come September at camp. Vegas is the only place I’d like to play. I’m good in the locker room and you can leave me there most of the time if needed. I’m mature enough these days to handle being a 7th D-Man. I’ll hang up now. #VegasBorn -Swish
Jordan Schmaltz90,856 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

🚨EMERGENCY PRESS CONFERENCE: Gavin McKenna Chin Hunting -93.1
Jordan Schmaltz142,178 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

Watch Trouba lock and load his chicken wing like it’s a desert eagle pistol at your local gun range. Bring the clip back empty type shit. He waited for Slaggert to watch and admire his shot while his chin rose to the sky leaving him in a vulnerable position. As an old Chinese proverb states, Chin to the sky you might die. Trouba is so so good and finding the chin without making it look obvious. Poetry in motion 📞📞
Jordan Schmaltz291,382 просмотров • 1 год назад
