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Shorts
Her: "OK I'll go out but I'm not drinking" Also her, two hours later:
726,154 次观看
When I'm in a performance review at work and they ask me where I see myself in ten years.
146,956 次观看
O Lord please grant me, for just one day, the zero fuck level of a capybara intended as a pelican's dinner.
2,666,548 次观看
When I meet someone new and my social anxiety kicks in.
524,076 次观看
When someone explains something to you for the fifth time and you still don't get it.
4,129,043 次观看
My wife watching me turn the house upside down looking for something when she knows exactly where it is but didn't care for my tone when I asked her.
602,686 次观看
My wife: We don't have to stay at the party all night. Just give me a sign when you've had enough and want to leave. Me after five minutes:
1,455,364 次观看
Yes you can come, just don't be weird. Me:
1,663,286 次观看
When you take a nap so good that you wake up thinking you're late for school but it's Sunday and you're 59.
823,784 次观看
When someone explains something to you for the fifth time and you still don't get it.
5,549,505 次观看
Me avoiding social interactions.
922,872 次观看
"You clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks"
903,397 次观看
"PIVOT DAMMIT, PIVOT"
108,133 次观看
"LOOK AT ME I'M A PENGUIN, I'VE GOT A SILLY WALK AND I'M A BIRD BUT I CAN'T EVEN FLY" "Just ignore him Tony"
650,723 次观看
"Sorry I'm late for work. You wouldn't believe me if I told you"
111,914 次观看
When you're one slight inconvenience away from completely losing your shit at work.
297,711 次观看
If you're having one of those days when only baby goats in pyjamas can help, here's some baby goats in pyjamas.
1,864,393 次观看
"Wait, this isn't what it looks like"
32,014 次观看
When they call your name in a work meeting and you weren't listening.
542,721 次观看
When someone explains something to you for the seventh time and you still don't understand.