𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖_𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝

@SundaeDivine • 131,602 subscribers

Life is weird, let’s laugh at it before it eats us. Not waving but drowning.

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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖_𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝

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I don’t even know what ketamine does but I’m guessing it looks a lot likes this.

Here’s what 6 weeks of training and a bunch of camo bullshit gets you.

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“Let’s see what happens if I grab his horn.”

Aaron Rupar Trump really has a way with the ladies.

When the president is so dumb the infectious disease doctor touches his face.

Her face says, “We are absolutely not doing whatever you think this is.”

The real reason MTG is leaving Congress is for experimental toe augmentation surgery in Switzerland.

When you lied on your resume but get the job anyway.

Karoline Leavitt and Pam Bondi protecting the Epstein files.

The face of someone who just discovered the air has…flavor.

It sure sounds like he’s saying 65 year old men should be impregnating the girls who hit puberty earlier, and all of the parents I know have children. These idiots run our country.

First day of Spring at the lake.

Name removal, but make it cinematic.

North Korea calling balls and strikes.

That's the smile of a man who just killed the Democrats' bill to outlaw orphan-crushing machines.

Tricia McLaughlin of DHS says 75% of the 260,000 people Trump has arrested are convicted violent criminals. Does that strike anyone else as ludicrous?

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Friend who works at the CIA tells me they’re replacing waterboarding with playing Kash Patel’s fiancé on a loop.

Jon Ossoff found the one button in Washington labeled DO NOT PRESS and immediately leaned on it with both elbows.

And you wonder why the election is so tight.

Okay, this got me.

I guess we all knew someone would bennyhill it.

She wants a civil war because Thanksgiving arguments aren’t producing enough casualties.

Psst…wanna see a murder?

Before anyone drafts a sympathy card, roll the tape. There's McConnell on Hannity, beaming like a man showing off vacation photos and taking a victory lap for the judicial vacancies he created by blockading a sitting president's nominees.

Easily my favorite part of January 6.

I tune into foreign media for unbiased reporting.

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Mike Johnson: “If you lend your 16 year old child the family car and they bring it home dented, is it okay to abort them, just answer the question.”

He fucked it up so badly they had to explain it with crayons.

“Fuck Trump” is less a slogan than a national customer review.

Reporting live from the Canadian Department of “What the Fuck Are You People Doing?”

Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 Here’s Marge telling people to kill our duly elected political leaders.

The real Hallmark miracle is the way a man with no social media and perfect forearms can make me forget my 6-figure job and 401(k) in under 60 seconds.

Easily my favorite part of January 6. Volume.

She was right about everything.