Kiah

@UtdKiah • 11,567 subscribers

Satirical football takes • United ⼬ • 🔴⚪⚫ • Sponsored by @rainbetcom

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Kiah

Shorts

Both Matheus Cunha and Šeško had a game to forget, but Cunha’s reaction… Not sure what that does to a lad still trying to find his rhythm

Diogo Dalot on Casemiro: “Case is very quiet, but when he speaks EVERYBODY listens.” Moment when unc figured there was no point talking to Dalot. 😭

Guendouzi on Fellaini: “I think there is a bit of jealousy there. Maybe he can’t accept the fact that he chose to go back to short hair”

Van Dijk: “If you [Rooney] watched games then I would definitely take responsibility. Your comment about me signing my deal [and then not performing ] it was a bit much.” Football Gods: “Thou darest cast shade upon Rooney? Thou shalt pay in full.”

Rashford heard “can’t stop scoring” and said bet

Cucurella started it. Mazraoui finished it. 😭

Remember when Sancho told Bruno to stop moaning? His career hasn’t recovered since 😭

Blud himself is guilty of spreading lies to cover up his heinous acts...

That Bruno dummy had Calvin Bassey running for his life. Plus to feed Sesko under all that pressure? 😭

Weird how United’s first header between the two came from 5'7 Mbeumo and not 6'5 Air Šeško...

Licha giving us glimpse of what we should expect when he's fully fit

How are some fans supporting Tyrone Mings’ violence? Beats me. Thanks for the reminder, Alfonso.

W take. Licha has DM experience from Ajax, he’s obviously strong defensively, and his left foot could easily link up with our attackers, especially Šeško

If this is what “playing for money” looks like, then may God bless us with more players who sign only for money. Because Casemiro’s passion just never dipped! Thanks for everything, Unc. 屮

Still confused why Mason Mount started instead of Cunha?

Nah, hitting the target should be basic for a pro… but we all know a certain ex-United, now-Chelsea man would’ve found the side netting. 😭

Only Bruno Fernandes could pull off an assist like that so casually. And Matheus Cunha knew exactly who to thank!

You have to feel for Harry Maguire here. Bro ran the full length of the pitch, only for Bruno to pull off his third ( if not fourth) chop-back of the game, and it didn’t even make Iroegbunam flinch. 💀

This Garnacho interview gets funnier with every Chelsea game 💀

Y’all acting like Tyrell Malacia’s return means prime Evra is back... Man's entire United scoring record is one dodgy goal

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If bro had remembered the PS5 controller that night, things would’ve been different 😭

Van Persie's 90th-minute winner in his derby debut remains one of the coldest introductions ever😂

Fred pulled off something so crazy they had to show it from every angle 😭

Ole to Pogba: “Forget tactics, just find Rashford” And he found him thrice...

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer: “Trophies can be an ego thing for managers. It's not like a trophy will say we're back.” Let's hope the second sacking would get the point across to Ange Postecoglou.

Gary Neville on Casemiro: "Man United offered £60 million for Casemiro. Real Madrid couldn't believe their luck. Casemiro couldn't believe he got offered the £400k-a-week for five years!" Just saying, we’ll gladly do it again if we could.

Did you see Andre Onana at Trabzonspor? They'd be crazy not to keep him for another year.

When Garnacho concussed Akanji before setting up Rashford for the winner

Michael Owen: “In our opening 7 seasons, Wazza didn’t outscore me once. In which time I became the 2nd youngest Ballon d’Or winner ever. Injuries hindered me from then on. Therefore, he’ll go down as a better player than me. But, at 17, please...”

Peter Schmeichel on Šeško: “The signing of him was a little bit WEIRD to me because we had Rasmus Højlund who has been starved from service for two years.” Loving his form lately but let’s be honest... PL defenders won't allow this

Gotta agree with FPL Frasier. Moments like this make me question whether Kobbie Mainoo truly deserves the hype. Not trying to bash him, but it does highlight a possible lack of physicality we need in our midfield.

What a bad decision looks like

Roy Keane: “I think Luke Shaw has been getting away with murder at United for years, always injured, always excuses.” Jose Mourinho:

This counter attack is incomplete without Sesko's speed. Look at Tarkowski, man. 😂

This humiliation from Matheus Cunha was tolerable at Molineux. But if it repeats at the Emirates, we’ll have only ourselves to blame. Now is the time to act, Manchester United! 🙏🏻

No offense to Baleba or Wharton, but this guy is way levels above.

❓Players who exposed Van Dijk's aura defending... I'll start: Daniel James in 2019 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Licha did this (wait for it) after bullying Traoré all game and dunking on Fulham🫳🏻🫴🏻

Yeah, and he single handedly served us our arse...