Kiah

@UtdKiah • 11,467 subscribers

Satirical football takes • United ⼬ • 🔴⚪⚫ • Sponsored by @rainbetcom

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Kiah

Shorts

Diogo Dalot on Casemiro: “Case is very quiet, but when he speaks EVERYBODY listens.” Moment when unc figured there was no point talking to Dalot. 😭

Both Matheus Cunha and Šeško had a game to forget, but Cunha’s reaction… Not sure what that does to a lad still trying to find his rhythm

Van Dijk: “If you [Rooney] watched games then I would definitely take responsibility. Your comment about me signing my deal [and then not performing ] it was a bit much.” Football Gods: “Thou darest cast shade upon Rooney? Thou shalt pay in full.”

Guendouzi on Fellaini: “I think there is a bit of jealousy there. Maybe he can’t accept the fact that he chose to go back to short hair”

Rashford heard “can’t stop scoring” and said bet

Blud himself is guilty of spreading lies to cover up his heinous acts...

That Bruno dummy had Calvin Bassey running for his life. Plus to feed Sesko under all that pressure? 😭

Licha giving us glimpse of what we should expect when he's fully fit

Weird how United’s first header between the two came from 5'7 Mbeumo and not 6'5 Air Šeško...

If this is what “playing for money” looks like, then may God bless us with more players who sign only for money. Because Casemiro’s passion just never dipped! Thanks for everything, Unc. 屮

Nah, hitting the target should be basic for a pro… but we all know a certain ex-United, now-Chelsea man would’ve found the side netting. 😭

W take. Licha has DM experience from Ajax, he’s obviously strong defensively, and his left foot could easily link up with our attackers, especially Šeško

Still confused why Mason Mount started instead of Cunha?

Only Bruno Fernandes could pull off an assist like that so casually. And Matheus Cunha knew exactly who to thank!

How are some fans supporting Tyrone Mings’ violence? Beats me. Thanks for the reminder, Alfonso.

You have to feel for Harry Maguire here. Bro ran the full length of the pitch, only for Bruno to pull off his third ( if not fourth) chop-back of the game, and it didn’t even make Iroegbunam flinch. 💀

This Garnacho interview gets funnier with every Chelsea game 💀

Antony's aura will remain unmatched... Wishing him luck at Real Betis.

Y’all acting like Tyrell Malacia’s return means prime Evra is back... Man's entire United scoring record is one dodgy goal

“Excellence is contagious.” So is whatever Dalot brings because how did Amad go from AFCON bangers to hitting the crowd. 😭

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Van Persie's 90th-minute winner in his derby debut remains one of the coldest introductions ever😂

Did you see Andre Onana at Trabzonspor? They'd be crazy not to keep him for another year.

Gary Neville on Casemiro: "Man United offered £60 million for Casemiro. Real Madrid couldn't believe their luck. Casemiro couldn't believe he got offered the £400k-a-week for five years!" Just saying, we’ll gladly do it again if we could.

This counter attack is incomplete without Sesko's speed. Look at Tarkowski, man. 😂

Cavani had absolutely no reason to put that in the top bins 😭

Fred pulled off something so crazy they had to show it from every angle 😭

Remember when Hannibal Mejbri tried taking a piss at Ugarte, and Shaw told him to shut up because Burnley were anyway heading for relegation?

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer: “Trophies can be an ego thing for managers. It's not like a trophy will say we're back.” Let's hope the second sacking would get the point across to Ange Postecoglou.

Ole to Pogba: “Forget tactics, just find Rashford” And he found him thrice...

Michael Owen: “In our opening 7 seasons, Wazza didn’t outscore me once. In which time I became the 2nd youngest Ballon d’Or winner ever. Injuries hindered me from then on. Therefore, he’ll go down as a better player than me. But, at 17, please...”

Peter Schmeichel on Šeško: “The signing of him was a little bit WEIRD to me because we had Rasmus Højlund who has been starved from service for two years.” Loving his form lately but let’s be honest... PL defenders won't allow this

What a bad decision looks like

When Garnacho concussed Akanji before setting up Rashford for the winner

Gotta agree with FPL Frasier. Moments like this make me question whether Kobbie Mainoo truly deserves the hype. Not trying to bash him, but it does highlight a possible lack of physicality we need in our midfield.

Roy Keane: “I think Luke Shaw has been getting away with murder at United for years, always injured, always excuses.” Jose Mourinho:

‘Listen, So you wanna tell me in 6 months the best goalkeeper in the Champions League last season, he becomes the worst in the world? NAH’

🗣 Peter Schmeichel: “It's nothing personal against Šeško but we didn't need a third striker. We needed a midfielder and a goalkeeper.” Šeško’s being Højlund-ed, isn't he?

No offense to Baleba or Wharton, but this guy is way levels above.

Yeah, and he single handedly served us our arse...