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Christmas Vacation

@VacationQuotes • 50,181 subscribers

Can’t see the line, can you Russ?

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Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? Nah I'm doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? Nah I'm doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.

775,867 görüntüleme

You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced because every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so.

You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced because every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so.

522,717 görüntüleme

Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn into the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now.

Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn into the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now.

223,687 görüntüleme

You serious, Clark?

You serious, Clark?

217,674 görüntüleme

And if it wouldn’t be too much, I’d like to get something for you, Clark. Something 👌🏼really nice.

And if it wouldn’t be too much, I’d like to get something for you, Clark. Something 👌🏼really nice.

218,732 görüntüleme

Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, he'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak woman.

Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, he'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak woman.

187,838 görüntüleme

That's something ain't it, huh? She falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don't know!

That's something ain't it, huh? She falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don't know!

178,246 görüntüleme

Worse! How could they get any worse?! Take a look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!

Worse! How could they get any worse?! Take a look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!

166,589 görüntüleme

Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they–hotter than they are!

Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they–hotter than they are!

125,634 görüntüleme

My counsin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain. I appreciate that, Clark.

My counsin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain. I appreciate that, Clark.

125,325 görüntüleme

Yes, yes, it is. It's a bit nipply out – I mean nippy out!

Yes, yes, it is. It's a bit nipply out – I mean nippy out!

108,348 görüntüleme

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? Naw I'm doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? Naw I'm doing just fine, Clark. Just glad to be here.

117,726 görüntüleme

SQUIRREL!!!

SQUIRREL!!!

84,397 görüntüleme

He's got another car, he can drive! I have to eat so I can take my back pill!

He's got another car, he can drive! I have to eat so I can take my back pill!

75,256 görüntüleme

And when Santa squeezes his fat, white ass down that chimney tonight, he's going to find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

And when Santa squeezes his fat, white ass down that chimney tonight, he's going to find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

69,179 görüntüleme

Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

66,918 görüntüleme

That thing had nine lives, she just spent 'em all...WOO!

That thing had nine lives, she just spent 'em all...WOO!

60,617 görüntüleme

You smell something? Fried pussy cat!

You smell something? Fried pussy cat!

38,148 görüntüleme

Corporate cards...

Corporate cards...

36,643 görüntüleme

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Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career. College? Carnival.
0:25
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Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career. College? Carnival.

Christmas Vacation

1,083,961 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

And why is the carpet all wet, TODD? I don't KNOW, Margo!
0:21
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And why is the carpet all wet, TODD? I don't KNOW, Margo!

Christmas Vacation

710,071 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!
0:39
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Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!

Christmas Vacation

656,102 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Can't see the line. Can you, Russ?
0:25
VacationQuotes's profile picture

Can't see the line. Can you, Russ?

Christmas Vacation

358,793 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn...the clean, cool chill of the holiday air...and an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.
0:20
VacationQuotes's profile picture

Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn...the clean, cool chill of the holiday air...and an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.

Christmas Vacation

191,206 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Grace! She passed away thirty years ago!
0:21
VacationQuotes's profile picture

Grace! She passed away thirty years ago!

Christmas Vacation

130,366 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

So what's the matter with you?
0:27
VacationQuotes's profile picture

So what's the matter with you?

Christmas Vacation

121,488 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Only problem is he's got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town.
0:22
VacationQuotes's profile picture

Only problem is he's got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town.

Christmas Vacation

84,280 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la – take it, Russ! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
0:24
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Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la – take it, Russ! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Christmas Vacation

84,785 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the Untied States of America, and to the republic, for which it stands; one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Amen
0:33
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I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the Untied States of America, and to the republic, for which it stands; one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Amen

Christmas Vacation

77,774 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

He worked really hard, grandma. So do washing machines.
0:31
VacationQuotes's profile picture

He worked really hard, grandma. So do washing machines.

Christmas Vacation

77,315 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

She wrapped up her damn cat!
0:28
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She wrapped up her damn cat!

Christmas Vacation

55,767 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!🎵
0:43
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Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!🎵

Christmas Vacation

53,710 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Save the neck for me, Clark!
0:23
VacationQuotes's profile picture

Save the neck for me, Clark!

Christmas Vacation

50,881 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. And I want him brought from his happy, holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, 🧵
1:02
VacationQuotes's profile picture

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. And I want him brought from his happy, holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, 🧵

Christmas Vacation

50,270 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Oh he's just yackin' on a bone. He got it up! He's alright now!
0:42
VacationQuotes's profile picture

Oh he's just yackin' on a bone. He got it up! He's alright now!

Christmas Vacation

49,934 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

Oh boy, this is a surprise, Clark. This is just a real nice surprise! Just a real nice surprise!
0:22
VacationQuotes's profile picture

Oh boy, this is a surprise, Clark. This is just a real nice surprise! Just a real nice surprise!

Christmas Vacation

46,030 görüntüleme • 2 yıl önce

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