nessa
@writtenbysaints • 4,256 subscribers
maybe nothing ever meant that much. but i needed it to, so i turned it into something holy | #lawandtech
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watching #aloveotherthanyours and thinking, what’s the point of spending years with someone while burying your insecurities and depressive moments so you’ll be easier to be around? they both erased parts of themselves. he stays in a life that is smaller than his wants bc mi-do is the reason, the compass, the future he has already chosen. that sounds romantic until you are the one drowning. he still wants marriage bc the years themselves feel like proof, and mi-do starts experiencing his devotion as weight. she’s the reason he stays in a job he does not love. that turns love into debt. support can feel like love when you are okay. the same support can feel like surveillance or obligation when you are depressed, ashamed, or stalled. he brings her a future. she feels like she is paying for it with the last pieces of herself. there is something lonely about being loved by someone who no longer sees the person you are becoming. they still know your coffee order. they still know the old wounds. they just don’t know the current rot. so you sit across from the person who has loved you longest and feel unpublished. known, and somehow still invisible. it’s true that every close relationship involves some editing. the question is whether the editing is mutual care or self-erasure. hiding a bad day can be kindness but hiding your depression for years so you remain convenient is different. either you confess and risk being too much, or you keep performing and start resenting the person you were performing for (and that’s precisely what’s happening to them). idk what they’re gonna do but i hope they won’t force things between them bc it seems like they both already packed themselves away from the past. and maybe the point of this all is that it was never to keep the years alive at any cost. maybe the point is that it was real while it was real. love can be true and still end. a chapter can be beautiful and still close. (edit made by @ joownzs on insta)
nessa192,752 views • 27 days ago
everyone skipping #loveislanduk has no idea what they’re missing with kavan and jasmine #loveisland
nessa455,582 views • 4 months ago
hands down the hottest thing a man has ever done bc wdym he moved their hands BEHIND her back so jooyoung wouldn’t have to watch him hold another girl’s hand in her own lap?? he realized she might feel uncomfortable and IMMEDIATELY adjusted. that’s a MAN #singlesinferno5
nessa860,425 views • 8 months ago
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my liberation notes shifted something in my soul and never put it back.
nessa704,980 views • 9 months ago
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she couldn’t even shed two tears during her whole victim act, at least fake it properly #loveislanduk
nessa183,508 views • 3 months ago
“she had loved him so deeply. even if he was slightly secondary compared to the empire, he still occupied eighty or ninety percent of her affection. sadly, she couldn’t keep him. perhaps they were the same kind of person: i love you, but i love the empire more” #seaofnoreturn
nessa53,099 views • 1 month ago
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