Me: "I'm not drinking tonight" 8 tequilas later:

“I’m not drinking tonight” Me 2 hours later:

Me 8 shots in after I said I'm not... drinking any alcohol at the party.show more

Her: "OK I'll go out but I'm not drinking"... Also her, two hours later:show more

“I’m not drinking tonight” Me at 2:30 AM:

I'm not drinking anything that looks back at me

Dried Chicken: My turn later Pardon me, I'm not... playing anymoreshow more

I'm not going to sleep tonight 😳

"I'm not surprised by anything... I'll see you later "

Alright, I'm going to leave this up for today.... I might work on it later tonight.show more

“I'm looking forward to tomorrow and watching a bunch... of football... and tonight I'm looking forward to drinking a bottle of wine." Most relatable thing Lebron has ever saidshow more

ABC & NBC will NOT STREAM Trump's Primetime ELECTION... SPEECH later tonightshow more

By the way, I'm going out tonight! See you... later, Taylor Swift Taylor Nation 🫶🏻💖 #SingaporeTSTheErasTourshow more

Guess how many tequilas i’ve had

Me: "I'm fine. I'll stop talking about it." Also... me 5 minutes later:show more

me because my only relief is to sleep. when... I'm sleeping, I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not lonely. I'm nothingshow more

Later tonight

Trump: And they tell me I'm not allowed to... run. I'm not sure. Is that true? I'm not sureshow more