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ADHD isn't defiance or a "broken" brain—it's often a sensitive child's quiet survival strategy. Gabor Maté: In stressed families, a highly attuned kid absorbs the tension and protects themselves by tuning out—going absent-minded. It's coping, not defect. These children tend to be deeply empathetic, warm-hearted, talented in unique ways......

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Camus

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67,735 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад •via X (Twitter)

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Gabor Maté flipped the entire ADHD conversation on Joe Rogan: He says ADHD is real, but it’s not a genetic disease like we’ve been told. It’s a coping mechanism. When a young child experiences stress (especially from parents) and can’t fight or escape, their developing brain learns to tune out. That pattern gets wired in. Years later we call it a “disorder” and reach for pills. Maté’s take: The brain develops in relationship. Stressed, unavailable parents → stressed, distracted kids. Fix the environment and family dynamics, and the symptoms often improve dramatically. We’ve spent decades treating ADHD as purely biological when the environment and early relationships might be playing a much bigger role than most doctors admit. This one really made me think. I’ve seen kids (and adults) labeled with ADHD whose home life was chaotic. The idea that it could be a survival adaptation rather than just “broken wiring” feels like it explains a lot. Do you see ADHD more as a genetic brain disease, a coping mechanism from early stress, or somewhere in between?
3:52

Gabor Maté flipped the entire ADHD conversation on Joe Rogan: He says ADHD is real, but it’s not a genetic disease like we’ve been told. It’s a coping mechanism. When a young child experiences stress (especially from parents) and can’t fight or escape, their developing brain learns to tune out. That pattern gets wired in. Years later we call it a “disorder” and reach for pills. Maté’s take: The brain develops in relationship. Stressed, unavailable parents → stressed, distracted kids. Fix the environment and family dynamics, and the symptoms often improve dramatically. We’ve spent decades treating ADHD as purely biological when the environment and early relationships might be playing a much bigger role than most doctors admit. This one really made me think. I’ve seen kids (and adults) labeled with ADHD whose home life was chaotic. The idea that it could be a survival adaptation rather than just “broken wiring” feels like it explains a lot. Do you see ADHD more as a genetic brain disease, a coping mechanism from early stress, or somewhere in between?

Camus

230,775 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

I just listened to Gabor Maté on Steven Bartlett’s podcast and it genuinely made me rethink everything I thought I knew about ADHD. He said it plainly: No gene for ADHD has ever been found. Not one. What gets passed down isn’t the disorder itself — it’s sensitivity. Sensitive kids feel the environment more deeply. In a stressed home (and our society is making parents more stressed than ever), that sensitivity often turns into tuning out as a survival mechanism. That’s what gets labeled as ADHD. Recent stats for context: - In the US, ADHD diagnoses in children nearly doubled over the past 20 years — from ~6.1% in the late 1990s to 11.4% today (about 7 million kids aged 3–17). - Worldwide, prevalence in children is estimated at 5–7%. - In Europe, rates are generally lower but still significant, around 5–7% in many countries. The same child, raised in a calm, supportive environment, might become highly creative, empathetic, or a natural leader instead. We’ve been telling millions of kids (and adults) they have a “brain disease” when many are simply reacting to the stressed world we’ve built around them. This shifts the conversation from “what’s wrong with you” to “what happened to you?” It feels like a much more compassionate — and honest — way to look at it. Do you think many ADHD diagnoses today are more about environment and sensitivity than an innate “disorder”? Have you seen this play out in your own life or with people close to you?
3:01

I just listened to Gabor Maté on Steven Bartlett’s podcast and it genuinely made me rethink everything I thought I knew about ADHD. He said it plainly: No gene for ADHD has ever been found. Not one. What gets passed down isn’t the disorder itself — it’s sensitivity. Sensitive kids feel the environment more deeply. In a stressed home (and our society is making parents more stressed than ever), that sensitivity often turns into tuning out as a survival mechanism. That’s what gets labeled as ADHD. Recent stats for context: - In the US, ADHD diagnoses in children nearly doubled over the past 20 years — from ~6.1% in the late 1990s to 11.4% today (about 7 million kids aged 3–17). - Worldwide, prevalence in children is estimated at 5–7%. - In Europe, rates are generally lower but still significant, around 5–7% in many countries. The same child, raised in a calm, supportive environment, might become highly creative, empathetic, or a natural leader instead. We’ve been telling millions of kids (and adults) they have a “brain disease” when many are simply reacting to the stressed world we’ve built around them. This shifts the conversation from “what’s wrong with you” to “what happened to you?” It feels like a much more compassionate — and honest — way to look at it. Do you think many ADHD diagnoses today are more about environment and sensitivity than an innate “disorder”? Have you seen this play out in your own life or with people close to you?

Camus

84,913 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

Hasan Minhaj asks Gabor Maté: "Why am I always late?" Maté diagnoses on the spot: ADHD—specifically a lack of time maturity. At 5 minutes to 8, your brain still feels like you have "eternity." Time sense didn't fully develop early because, for highly sensitive kids, parental stress (even prenatal) interferes with brain circuits. It's not inherited disease—it's a protective "tune out" response to overwhelm that wired in young. 96-sec clip from Hasan's podcast. Mind-blowing reframing of chronic lateness + disorganization as survival adaptation. ADHD folks (or those who relate): Does the "time blindness from early stress" explanation hit home? Ever noticed how sensitivity + childhood environment shaped your focus/time sense? Share below—no judgment, just real talk.
1:36

Hasan Minhaj asks Gabor Maté: "Why am I always late?" Maté diagnoses on the spot: ADHD—specifically a lack of time maturity. At 5 minutes to 8, your brain still feels like you have "eternity." Time sense didn't fully develop early because, for highly sensitive kids, parental stress (even prenatal) interferes with brain circuits. It's not inherited disease—it's a protective "tune out" response to overwhelm that wired in young. 96-sec clip from Hasan's podcast. Mind-blowing reframing of chronic lateness + disorganization as survival adaptation. ADHD folks (or those who relate): Does the "time blindness from early stress" explanation hit home? Ever noticed how sensitivity + childhood environment shaped your focus/time sense? Share below—no judgment, just real talk.

Camus

621,410 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

Dr. Russell Barkley revealed the terrifying truth about ADHD that changes everything parents think they know: By age 5, most kids develop an internal voice — the “mind’s voice” — that lets them talk to themselves, follow rules, and control impulses. In ADHD, that voice is weak or missing entirely. Young children with ADHD literally don’t have the same private self-talk neurotypical kids use by first or second grade. They can’t “tell themselves” what to do. They can’t internalize instructions, rules, or consequences the way other children can. Watch any typical classroom: kids quietly mutter to themselves, guiding their own behavior. That’s the mind’s voice developing — and it’s what allows them to stop, think, and regulate. In ADHD, it never fully arrives — or it’s too faint to work. That’s why “just listen” or “just stop” feels impossible: there’s no reliable internal voice to enforce it. Barkley: “They can’t internalize the rules… because everything I just said requires a voice in your head, and they don’t have that.” This isn’t laziness, defiance, or poor parenting. It’s a profound developmental delay in the brain’s self-regulation system — as serious as many other neurodevelopmental disorders. If you have (or work with) a child with ADHD, does this suddenly make their “impossible” behavior click into place?
1:19

Dr. Russell Barkley revealed the terrifying truth about ADHD that changes everything parents think they know: By age 5, most kids develop an internal voice — the “mind’s voice” — that lets them talk to themselves, follow rules, and control impulses. In ADHD, that voice is weak or missing entirely. Young children with ADHD literally don’t have the same private self-talk neurotypical kids use by first or second grade. They can’t “tell themselves” what to do. They can’t internalize instructions, rules, or consequences the way other children can. Watch any typical classroom: kids quietly mutter to themselves, guiding their own behavior. That’s the mind’s voice developing — and it’s what allows them to stop, think, and regulate. In ADHD, it never fully arrives — or it’s too faint to work. That’s why “just listen” or “just stop” feels impossible: there’s no reliable internal voice to enforce it. Barkley: “They can’t internalize the rules… because everything I just said requires a voice in your head, and they don’t have that.” This isn’t laziness, defiance, or poor parenting. It’s a profound developmental delay in the brain’s self-regulation system — as serious as many other neurodevelopmental disorders. If you have (or work with) a child with ADHD, does this suddenly make their “impossible” behavior click into place?

Camus

63,323 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

Dr. Russell Barkley reframes ADHD in a powerful way: It's not just "attention deficit" — it's a failure of persistence toward goals. He explains: ADHD disrupts specific executive functions in the frontal lobe — not perception or filtering, but sustaining action toward delayed outcomes, resisting distractions (via inhibition failure), and re-engaging after interruptions (due to working memory deficits). Key insights from the clip: - Inattentiveness in ADHD = poor goal-directed persistence (behavior, motivation, future-oriented). - Distractions aren't perceived more — people with ADHD respond to them more because they can't inhibit reactions. - Working memory loss means the goal "disappears" → easy to skip from unfinished task to unfinished task. - ADHD may be better called Executive Function Deficit Disorder (EFDD), with persistence as the core attention issue. This shifts the view from "can't pay attention" to "can't direct behavior forward in time" — a profound difference for understanding, diagnosis, and support. Ever felt this "future blindness" in daily life? How does it show up for you or someone you know? Share respectfully — open to hearing experiences!
4:55

Dr. Russell Barkley reframes ADHD in a powerful way: It's not just "attention deficit" — it's a failure of persistence toward goals. He explains: ADHD disrupts specific executive functions in the frontal lobe — not perception or filtering, but sustaining action toward delayed outcomes, resisting distractions (via inhibition failure), and re-engaging after interruptions (due to working memory deficits). Key insights from the clip: - Inattentiveness in ADHD = poor goal-directed persistence (behavior, motivation, future-oriented). - Distractions aren't perceived more — people with ADHD respond to them more because they can't inhibit reactions. - Working memory loss means the goal "disappears" → easy to skip from unfinished task to unfinished task. - ADHD may be better called Executive Function Deficit Disorder (EFDD), with persistence as the core attention issue. This shifts the view from "can't pay attention" to "can't direct behavior forward in time" — a profound difference for understanding, diagnosis, and support. Ever felt this "future blindness" in daily life? How does it show up for you or someone you know? Share respectfully — open to hearing experiences!

Camus

92,092 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

Dr. Gabor Maté shares a heartbreaking yet hopeful truth with Joe Rogan: ADHD often isn’t a broken brain or genetic curse—it’s the tender survival strategy of a tiny infant who absorbed too much parental pain and stress, with nowhere to run or fight back. All a baby can do is tune out. That disconnection gets etched into developing circuits... and echoes through a lifetime of feeling scattered, overwhelmed, or “not enough.” But here’s the healing part: because it’s rooted in early emotional wounds, it can soften and shift through genuine connection, compassion, and attunement—even years later. In a world where childhood stress feels more common than ever, this perspective touches something deep. It reminds us how profoundly we affect the little ones around us—and how much grace we all deserve.
1:12

Dr. Gabor Maté shares a heartbreaking yet hopeful truth with Joe Rogan: ADHD often isn’t a broken brain or genetic curse—it’s the tender survival strategy of a tiny infant who absorbed too much parental pain and stress, with nowhere to run or fight back. All a baby can do is tune out. That disconnection gets etched into developing circuits... and echoes through a lifetime of feeling scattered, overwhelmed, or “not enough.” But here’s the healing part: because it’s rooted in early emotional wounds, it can soften and shift through genuine connection, compassion, and attunement—even years later. In a world where childhood stress feels more common than ever, this perspective touches something deep. It reminds us how profoundly we affect the little ones around us—and how much grace we all deserve.

Camus

462,562 просмотров • 7 месяцев назад

Dr. Russell Barkley drops the ADHD reality check most parents miss: On average, kids with ADHD are 30% behind in executive functioning (self-control, persistence, organization, emotional regulation). A 10-year-old? Treat them like a 7-year-old for responsibility, homework, chores, independence. A 16-year-old? Driving = handing keys to an 11-year-old. An 18-year-old in college? Design the campus like it's for 12-year-olds: more accountability, group study with mentors, frequent check-ins, substance-free dorms. It's not "immaturity" or "laziness"—it's a developmental lag in the brain's CEO system. Expecting chronological-age performance without accommodations creates conflict, failure, shame. Barkley blunt: If you're demanding more without adjusting the environment, you're the problem—like pushing a dyslexic kid to read normally. Real examples hit hard: No unsupervised babysitting for a 14-year-old (exec age ~9–10). Legal tragedies show why. Raw 3:50 clip below. Game-changer for parents, teachers, anyone supporting ADHD. The 30% rule reframes everything: Lower expectations to executive age, scaffold the environment, watch competence emerge. Parents of ADHD kids: What's one area (driving, chores, college, babysitting) where applying this 30% shift changed your approach—or could? Drop your story below.
3:50

Dr. Russell Barkley drops the ADHD reality check most parents miss: On average, kids with ADHD are 30% behind in executive functioning (self-control, persistence, organization, emotional regulation). A 10-year-old? Treat them like a 7-year-old for responsibility, homework, chores, independence. A 16-year-old? Driving = handing keys to an 11-year-old. An 18-year-old in college? Design the campus like it's for 12-year-olds: more accountability, group study with mentors, frequent check-ins, substance-free dorms. It's not "immaturity" or "laziness"—it's a developmental lag in the brain's CEO system. Expecting chronological-age performance without accommodations creates conflict, failure, shame. Barkley blunt: If you're demanding more without adjusting the environment, you're the problem—like pushing a dyslexic kid to read normally. Real examples hit hard: No unsupervised babysitting for a 14-year-old (exec age ~9–10). Legal tragedies show why. Raw 3:50 clip below. Game-changer for parents, teachers, anyone supporting ADHD. The 30% rule reframes everything: Lower expectations to executive age, scaffold the environment, watch competence emerge. Parents of ADHD kids: What's one area (driving, chores, college, babysitting) where applying this 30% shift changed your approach—or could? Drop your story below.

Camus

255,575 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

Dr. Russell Barkley, leading ADHD expert, explains the heartbreaking reality many parents face: A child with ADHD can play video games for hours without issue... but struggle to do homework for even a few minutes. Why? Video games deliver constant, immediate, 100% external consequences and feedback—every action gets instant reward or response. Homework? Nothing happens when a problem is solved. Consequences are delayed (or invisible), so the brain's motivation system flatlines. This isn't laziness, willpower failure, or "they could if they wanted." It's a neurogenetic executive function deficit: ADHD impairs self-motivation. Without external structure, immediate cues, and consequences, the work simply won't get done—no matter the goals or good intentions. Put an ADHD brain in a low-consequence environment, and failure follows. It's not a choice; it's how the wiring works. The takeaway? Stop blaming the person. Build environments with external motivators: timers, immediate rewards, gamified tasks, accountability. Parents/teachers: What's one external structure (timer, reward chart, body doubling) that's helped an ADHD kid bridge that motivation gap?
0:59

Dr. Russell Barkley, leading ADHD expert, explains the heartbreaking reality many parents face: A child with ADHD can play video games for hours without issue... but struggle to do homework for even a few minutes. Why? Video games deliver constant, immediate, 100% external consequences and feedback—every action gets instant reward or response. Homework? Nothing happens when a problem is solved. Consequences are delayed (or invisible), so the brain's motivation system flatlines. This isn't laziness, willpower failure, or "they could if they wanted." It's a neurogenetic executive function deficit: ADHD impairs self-motivation. Without external structure, immediate cues, and consequences, the work simply won't get done—no matter the goals or good intentions. Put an ADHD brain in a low-consequence environment, and failure follows. It's not a choice; it's how the wiring works. The takeaway? Stop blaming the person. Build environments with external motivators: timers, immediate rewards, gamified tasks, accountability. Parents/teachers: What's one external structure (timer, reward chart, body doubling) that's helped an ADHD kid bridge that motivation gap?

Camus

574,506 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

Dr. Russell Barkley shatters ADHD myths in one clear, no-nonsense explanation: ADHD is not a different species of human. It’s not a gift, a hunter brain, or a superpower. It is a developmental delay in two critical traits: self-inhibition (stopping yourself before acting) and emotional regulation. The child follows the exact same developmental path as everyone else—just much slower and never fully catches up. By early 30s the gap is permanent but stable. The difference is quantitative (like height, athleticism, or writing ability), not qualitative. Calling it “from another planet” or “alien wiring” stigmatizes and confuses people. Hyperactivity fades sharply with age (nearly gone in adulthood); what endures is weak inhibition across behavior, speech, thoughts—and especially emotions (the part most diagnostic criteria and popular books ignored). This isn’t opinion. It’s decades of research. If you live with or love someone with ADHD, which part of this explanation finally clicked for you—and which myth did it finally put to rest? Disclaimer: This summarizes Barkley’s clinical perspective from the clip—not diagnostic advice. ADHD assessment and treatment should always involve qualified professionals.
6:02

Dr. Russell Barkley shatters ADHD myths in one clear, no-nonsense explanation: ADHD is not a different species of human. It’s not a gift, a hunter brain, or a superpower. It is a developmental delay in two critical traits: self-inhibition (stopping yourself before acting) and emotional regulation. The child follows the exact same developmental path as everyone else—just much slower and never fully catches up. By early 30s the gap is permanent but stable. The difference is quantitative (like height, athleticism, or writing ability), not qualitative. Calling it “from another planet” or “alien wiring” stigmatizes and confuses people. Hyperactivity fades sharply with age (nearly gone in adulthood); what endures is weak inhibition across behavior, speech, thoughts—and especially emotions (the part most diagnostic criteria and popular books ignored). This isn’t opinion. It’s decades of research. If you live with or love someone with ADHD, which part of this explanation finally clicked for you—and which myth did it finally put to rest? Disclaimer: This summarizes Barkley’s clinical perspective from the clip—not diagnostic advice. ADHD assessment and treatment should always involve qualified professionals.

Camus

89,106 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

ADHD isn’t a character flaw or bad parenting—it’s a delay in the brain’s most basic wiring for self-control. Dr. Russell Barkley lays it out raw: Self-control isn’t something kids “learn” from good upbringing. It’s a neurogenetic trait that unfolds on its own timeline—like language or walking. Most variation in how well people regulate themselves comes from biology, not how Mom or Dad raised them. In ADHD, two core abilities are delayed: inhibition (the ability to stop before acting) and emotional self-regulation. The child experiences the same developmental stages as everyone else—just much later, and never fully catches up. By early 30s, the gap is permanent but stable. Hyperactivity fades with age. What remains is weak ability to pause, visualize consequences, use hindsight, or plan ahead. No internal “pause button” between impulse and action. That’s why “try harder” or “just focus” feels impossible—it’s like asking someone without depth perception to judge distance perfectly. If you’ve ever felt like your brain is missing a “stop” button… or watched a child who can’t seem to find theirs… does Barkley’s explanation finally make the struggle click into place for you?
4:49

ADHD isn’t a character flaw or bad parenting—it’s a delay in the brain’s most basic wiring for self-control. Dr. Russell Barkley lays it out raw: Self-control isn’t something kids “learn” from good upbringing. It’s a neurogenetic trait that unfolds on its own timeline—like language or walking. Most variation in how well people regulate themselves comes from biology, not how Mom or Dad raised them. In ADHD, two core abilities are delayed: inhibition (the ability to stop before acting) and emotional self-regulation. The child experiences the same developmental stages as everyone else—just much later, and never fully catches up. By early 30s, the gap is permanent but stable. Hyperactivity fades with age. What remains is weak ability to pause, visualize consequences, use hindsight, or plan ahead. No internal “pause button” between impulse and action. That’s why “try harder” or “just focus” feels impossible—it’s like asking someone without depth perception to judge distance perfectly. If you’ve ever felt like your brain is missing a “stop” button… or watched a child who can’t seem to find theirs… does Barkley’s explanation finally make the struggle click into place for you?

Camus

33,122 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

“No medication actually heals ADHD — they only suppress symptoms.” Gabor Maté said this on Steven Bartlett’s podcast and it really made me stop and think. He explained that the real solution isn’t pills. It’s creating a calm, accepting, low-stress home where parents work on their own stresses so they don’t unconsciously pass them on. When that happens, many kids improve dramatically without medication. Meds, at best, are a temporary stopgap — never the final answer, and no child should be forced into them. We’ve been quick to label kids with a “brain disorder” and reach for pills, but a lot of it seems to be kids reacting to the stressed environments we’ve created. Shifting focus from “fix the child” to “fix the conditions” feels like a much more honest and compassionate approach. Do you think we’re over-relying on medication for ADHD, or is environment and parenting the bigger missing piece? What’s your experience or take?
0:49

“No medication actually heals ADHD — they only suppress symptoms.” Gabor Maté said this on Steven Bartlett’s podcast and it really made me stop and think. He explained that the real solution isn’t pills. It’s creating a calm, accepting, low-stress home where parents work on their own stresses so they don’t unconsciously pass them on. When that happens, many kids improve dramatically without medication. Meds, at best, are a temporary stopgap — never the final answer, and no child should be forced into them. We’ve been quick to label kids with a “brain disorder” and reach for pills, but a lot of it seems to be kids reacting to the stressed environments we’ve created. Shifting focus from “fix the child” to “fix the conditions” feels like a much more honest and compassionate approach. Do you think we’re over-relying on medication for ADHD, or is environment and parenting the bigger missing piece? What’s your experience or take?

Camus

73,508 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

ADHD isn't an attention disorder—it's blindness to the future. Dr. Russell Barkley: "You are nearsighted in time." The future feels distant and unreal until it's imminent → 11th-hour panic, hap-dash fixes, crises that were avoidable. People see it as laziness, moral failing, or carelessness—but it's neurological: the brain can't organize to delayed consequences, only what's right in front of it. Barkley calls this temporal myopia—executive function deficit where time perception warps, making long-term planning feel abstract while immediate threats hijack focus. Hits hard when you realize it's not "just trying harder"—it's a different way the brain experiences time. If this resonates (for you or someone close), what's one moment the "future blindness" showed up—and how did you handle it? Real stories below 👇
1:00

ADHD isn't an attention disorder—it's blindness to the future. Dr. Russell Barkley: "You are nearsighted in time." The future feels distant and unreal until it's imminent → 11th-hour panic, hap-dash fixes, crises that were avoidable. People see it as laziness, moral failing, or carelessness—but it's neurological: the brain can't organize to delayed consequences, only what's right in front of it. Barkley calls this temporal myopia—executive function deficit where time perception warps, making long-term planning feel abstract while immediate threats hijack focus. Hits hard when you realize it's not "just trying harder"—it's a different way the brain experiences time. If this resonates (for you or someone close), what's one moment the "future blindness" showed up—and how did you handle it? Real stories below 👇

Camus

74,246 просмотров • 3 месяцев назад

Elon Musk was asked: “What’s one invention that’s made us worse, not better?” His answer: short-form video. He called it straight-up “brain rot.” And he’s not wrong. A local news report highlighted how kids are getting flooded with dopamine hits every 15–30 seconds from YouTube Shorts and TikTok-style content. Brain scans show overactivation in the reward centers, which over time trains the brain to crave instant gratification, shortens attention spans, and contributes to attention problems, behavioral issues, and even emotional dysregulation. Doctors are now seeing cases where it’s hard to tell the difference between true ADHD and what they’re calling “environmental ADHD” caused by excessive screen use. 78–84% of kids aged 2–12 are on YouTube, often for 2+ hours a day. This one feels especially urgent for parents. How much short-form video are your kids (or you) consuming daily — and have you noticed any real impact on attention span or mood?
1:57

Elon Musk was asked: “What’s one invention that’s made us worse, not better?” His answer: short-form video. He called it straight-up “brain rot.” And he’s not wrong. A local news report highlighted how kids are getting flooded with dopamine hits every 15–30 seconds from YouTube Shorts and TikTok-style content. Brain scans show overactivation in the reward centers, which over time trains the brain to crave instant gratification, shortens attention spans, and contributes to attention problems, behavioral issues, and even emotional dysregulation. Doctors are now seeing cases where it’s hard to tell the difference between true ADHD and what they’re calling “environmental ADHD” caused by excessive screen use. 78–84% of kids aged 2–12 are on YouTube, often for 2+ hours a day. This one feels especially urgent for parents. How much short-form video are your kids (or you) consuming daily — and have you noticed any real impact on attention span or mood?

Camus

578,304 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

Dr. Gabor Maté's direct message to parents (36-second clip): No matter your lifestyle, stay the primary attachment figure for your children. - Delay playdates until attachment is rock-solid. - Daycare or school? Don't assume they "still belong to you" when they come home—attachment can shift when kids spend most of their day away. - Socialization isn't something we force early; it happens naturally and healthily only when kids feel securely attached, safe in themselves, and individuated. Well-attached children socialize freely and spontaneously—no need to rush "exposure." This short clip challenges the modern "socialize early" push and reminds us attachment comes first. Parents: Have you noticed your child's behavior or sense of "belonging" change after long daycare/school days? Did delaying playdates or prioritizing one-on-one time make a difference for you? Or do you see early socialization as essential—why?
0:36

Dr. Gabor Maté's direct message to parents (36-second clip): No matter your lifestyle, stay the primary attachment figure for your children. - Delay playdates until attachment is rock-solid. - Daycare or school? Don't assume they "still belong to you" when they come home—attachment can shift when kids spend most of their day away. - Socialization isn't something we force early; it happens naturally and healthily only when kids feel securely attached, safe in themselves, and individuated. Well-attached children socialize freely and spontaneously—no need to rush "exposure." This short clip challenges the modern "socialize early" push and reminds us attachment comes first. Parents: Have you noticed your child's behavior or sense of "belonging" change after long daycare/school days? Did delaying playdates or prioritizing one-on-one time make a difference for you? Or do you see early socialization as essential—why?

Camus

110,628 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

Mel Robbins discovered she had ADHD at 47 — and she’s part of a whole “lost generation” of women. On Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom podcast, she explained how girls with ADHD show up completely differently than boys. While boys tend to be fidgety, disruptive, and get labeled as “behavior problems,” girls often become quiet, self-critical, anxious, and withdrawn. Because of that, an entire generation was misdiagnosed with anxiety instead of ADHD or dyslexia. Research in the 1970s focused almost entirely on boys, so millions of women spent decades treating the wrong thing. This one really clicked for me. So many smart, capable women carry around this quiet exhaustion and self-doubt for years, thinking it’s just “anxiety” or a personal flaw, when their brains were actually wired differently the whole time. The right diagnosis can be life-changing — it shifts you from years of fighting yourself to finally understanding and working with how your mind actually operates. Women (or anyone who knows one): were you ever diagnosed with anxiety as a teen or young adult, only to later find out it was ADHD or dyslexia? What changed once you knew?
2:16

Mel Robbins discovered she had ADHD at 47 — and she’s part of a whole “lost generation” of women. On Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom podcast, she explained how girls with ADHD show up completely differently than boys. While boys tend to be fidgety, disruptive, and get labeled as “behavior problems,” girls often become quiet, self-critical, anxious, and withdrawn. Because of that, an entire generation was misdiagnosed with anxiety instead of ADHD or dyslexia. Research in the 1970s focused almost entirely on boys, so millions of women spent decades treating the wrong thing. This one really clicked for me. So many smart, capable women carry around this quiet exhaustion and self-doubt for years, thinking it’s just “anxiety” or a personal flaw, when their brains were actually wired differently the whole time. The right diagnosis can be life-changing — it shifts you from years of fighting yourself to finally understanding and working with how your mind actually operates. Women (or anyone who knows one): were you ever diagnosed with anxiety as a teen or young adult, only to later find out it was ADHD or dyslexia? What changed once you knew?

Camus

68,307 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

Some people have asked me why foster kids are moved so often. Why not just keep them with one foster parent for the long term, or put them up for adoption right away? One reason is that, for many foster kids—probably most—the reason they end up in the system in the first place is because one of their parents was dealing with problems like drug addiction, mental illness, or getting arrested. And often, after the child is placed in care, a parent will sober up for a while, get a job, or otherwise start to pull things together. Or a relative, like a grandmother, will step in and say, “I’ll take care of the kid.” From the system’s point of view, this means they might have to move the child back. But if the kid stays with the same foster family for too long, they can form strong attachments. Then, if their biological parent reappears and says, “You can come live with me now,” the child might resist, saying, “I’ve been living here for a year or two, I don’t want to go.” So the system’s way of “solving” this is to move the child every few months so they never form an attachment with any of their foster families.
1:06

Some people have asked me why foster kids are moved so often. Why not just keep them with one foster parent for the long term, or put them up for adoption right away? One reason is that, for many foster kids—probably most—the reason they end up in the system in the first place is because one of their parents was dealing with problems like drug addiction, mental illness, or getting arrested. And often, after the child is placed in care, a parent will sober up for a while, get a job, or otherwise start to pull things together. Or a relative, like a grandmother, will step in and say, “I’ll take care of the kid.” From the system’s point of view, this means they might have to move the child back. But if the kid stays with the same foster family for too long, they can form strong attachments. Then, if their biological parent reappears and says, “You can come live with me now,” the child might resist, saying, “I’ve been living here for a year or two, I don’t want to go.” So the system’s way of “solving” this is to move the child every few months so they never form an attachment with any of their foster families.

Rob Henderson

105,131 просмотров • 11 месяцев назад

Gabor Maté laid out the four non-negotiable needs every child has — and modern life is failing most of them. In this 38-second clip he says children require: - Strong, constant attachment to adults who are truly present - To never have to “work” or perform to keep their parents’ love and approval - Full permission to feel and express every emotion without shame or rejection - Free, unstructured play in nature — no gadgets, no screens, no internet games These aren’t nice-to-haves. They’re essential for healthy human development. When any of these is missing, the damage shows up later — anxiety, disconnection, emotional shutdown, addiction to screens as a substitute for real connection. In 2026, with kids spending more time on devices than in free play, and parents often distracted or conditional in their presence, how many of these four needs are actually being met? Which one do you think is being violated most in today’s world — and what are you doing (or planning) to protect it for the kids in your life?
0:38

Gabor Maté laid out the four non-negotiable needs every child has — and modern life is failing most of them. In this 38-second clip he says children require: - Strong, constant attachment to adults who are truly present - To never have to “work” or perform to keep their parents’ love and approval - Full permission to feel and express every emotion without shame or rejection - Free, unstructured play in nature — no gadgets, no screens, no internet games These aren’t nice-to-haves. They’re essential for healthy human development. When any of these is missing, the damage shows up later — anxiety, disconnection, emotional shutdown, addiction to screens as a substitute for real connection. In 2026, with kids spending more time on devices than in free play, and parents often distracted or conditional in their presence, how many of these four needs are actually being met? Which one do you think is being violated most in today’s world — and what are you doing (or planning) to protect it for the kids in your life?

Camus

40,020 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

Gabor Maté delivered this raw, urgent wake-up call to parents: “When your kids spend the whole day at school and with peers, you have to win them back every single evening.” He doesn’t sugarcoat it: Quality time isn’t homework nagging or phone scrolling. It’s real presence — full attention, eye contact, genuine connection — to rebuild the bond that gets eroded by hours apart. “You can’t assume they’re your kids just because they’re your kids. You have to bring them under your wing.” In a world that constantly pulls kids in every direction, Maté reminds us: The most powerful thing you can give them isn’t money, gadgets, or lectures — it’s you, undivided. Parents: How do you “win back” your kids at the end of the day — and does this message still hit home for you?
0:45

Gabor Maté delivered this raw, urgent wake-up call to parents: “When your kids spend the whole day at school and with peers, you have to win them back every single evening.” He doesn’t sugarcoat it: Quality time isn’t homework nagging or phone scrolling. It’s real presence — full attention, eye contact, genuine connection — to rebuild the bond that gets eroded by hours apart. “You can’t assume they’re your kids just because they’re your kids. You have to bring them under your wing.” In a world that constantly pulls kids in every direction, Maté reminds us: The most powerful thing you can give them isn’t money, gadgets, or lectures — it’s you, undivided. Parents: How do you “win back” your kids at the end of the day — and does this message still hit home for you?

Camus

118,410 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад

Andrew Huberman dropped a quietly uncomfortable truth on his podcast: Some parents are secretly afraid of their own kids. Not just nervous — but walking on eggshells, avoiding “laying down the law” because they fear emotional outbursts, tantrums, or worse. Huberman points out that kids sense this fear and unconsciously learn to use it as leverage. The result? Children who feel powerful but not safe, and parents who’ve quietly surrendered control. He’s not talking about physical fights — he’s talking about the subtle psychological dynamic that’s become increasingly common. When parents are afraid to set clear boundaries, kids lose the sense of security that comes from knowing adults are in charge. That shift affects everything from behavior to long-term emotional development. This one made me pause. I’ve seen it in families around me — well-meaning parents tiptoeing around their children’s emotions, only for things to get harder down the line. Huberman’s observation feels like something a lot of us have noticed but rarely say out loud. Parents (and former kids): Have you ever seen this dynamic play out — either as a parent or when you were growing up?
2:03

Andrew Huberman dropped a quietly uncomfortable truth on his podcast: Some parents are secretly afraid of their own kids. Not just nervous — but walking on eggshells, avoiding “laying down the law” because they fear emotional outbursts, tantrums, or worse. Huberman points out that kids sense this fear and unconsciously learn to use it as leverage. The result? Children who feel powerful but not safe, and parents who’ve quietly surrendered control. He’s not talking about physical fights — he’s talking about the subtle psychological dynamic that’s become increasingly common. When parents are afraid to set clear boundaries, kids lose the sense of security that comes from knowing adults are in charge. That shift affects everything from behavior to long-term emotional development. This one made me pause. I’ve seen it in families around me — well-meaning parents tiptoeing around their children’s emotions, only for things to get harder down the line. Huberman’s observation feels like something a lot of us have noticed but rarely say out loud. Parents (and former kids): Have you ever seen this dynamic play out — either as a parent or when you were growing up?

Camus

141,362 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

The most powerful advice Dr. Russell Barkley ever gave parents of ADHD kids? Practice forgiveness—four kinds of it—every single day. In this 5:41 clip he shares Leo Buscaglia’s wisdom (from 30+ years ago) and turns it into a survival guide for exhausted families: Forgive yourself for the inevitable mistakes (ADHD kids are masters at pushing buttons). Forgive your child for the nonstop misbehavior (they’re not choosing to be hard—they’re wired differently). Forgive your partner for not parenting exactly your way. Forgive the public for their ignorant stares, judgments, and Walmart lectures. He gives two rituals that actually help parents let go: At the end of the day: 1. Write down every frustration, every regret, every blow-up—then literally burn the paper in the sink. Demons gone. Day over. 2. After your child falls asleep: Sit quietly on the floor, watch them breathe, and just witness the innocence. Nothing resets resentment faster than seeing your child at peace. He reminds us: The goal isn’t perfection. It’s trying to get it right tomorrow. What’s one small forgiveness ritual (or mindset shift) that’s helped you as a parent, partner, or person dealing with ADHD chaos? Share it below—this thread could use your real-world wisdom.
5:41

The most powerful advice Dr. Russell Barkley ever gave parents of ADHD kids? Practice forgiveness—four kinds of it—every single day. In this 5:41 clip he shares Leo Buscaglia’s wisdom (from 30+ years ago) and turns it into a survival guide for exhausted families: Forgive yourself for the inevitable mistakes (ADHD kids are masters at pushing buttons). Forgive your child for the nonstop misbehavior (they’re not choosing to be hard—they’re wired differently). Forgive your partner for not parenting exactly your way. Forgive the public for their ignorant stares, judgments, and Walmart lectures. He gives two rituals that actually help parents let go: At the end of the day: 1. Write down every frustration, every regret, every blow-up—then literally burn the paper in the sink. Demons gone. Day over. 2. After your child falls asleep: Sit quietly on the floor, watch them breathe, and just witness the innocence. Nothing resets resentment faster than seeing your child at peace. He reminds us: The goal isn’t perfection. It’s trying to get it right tomorrow. What’s one small forgiveness ritual (or mindset shift) that’s helped you as a parent, partner, or person dealing with ADHD chaos? Share it below—this thread could use your real-world wisdom.

Camus

25,854 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад