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Andy Burnham has reportedly begun choosing his Cabinet, with Heather from EastEnders tipped to replace Rachel Reeves. Talks were going well until Barry stormed in, caused a scene, and demanded the keys to the Home Office. {satire}

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Crewkerne Gazette

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The madness of King Andy is already setting in. Wes Streeting was reportedly left in tears after being denied a place in Burnham’s “progressive” cabinet, while Rachel Reeves may also be cast aside Ahead of Monday’s coronation, Mad King Burnham appears to favour chaos. {satire}
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The madness of King Andy is already setting in. Wes Streeting was reportedly left in tears after being denied a place in Burnham’s “progressive” cabinet, while Rachel Reeves may also be cast aside Ahead of Monday’s coronation, Mad King Burnham appears to favour chaos. {satire}

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'I'm supporting Andy to be Prime Minister' Chancellor Rachel Reeves has told #BBCBreakfast she backs Andy Burnham, despite reports he could demote her to a junior cabinet position if he becomes the Labour Party leader.
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'I'm supporting Andy to be Prime Minister' Chancellor Rachel Reeves has told #BBCBreakfast she backs Andy Burnham, despite reports he could demote her to a junior cabinet position if he becomes the Labour Party leader.

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Sir Keir Starmer has announced he will step down as Prime Minister and Labour leader. The PM said he will remain in office until a successor is chosen, with a leadership contest expected in the coming weeks. Andy Burnham is among the names being tipped to replace him. #politics #starmer #labour
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Sir Keir Starmer has announced he will step down as Prime Minister and Labour leader. The PM said he will remain in office until a successor is chosen, with a leadership contest expected in the coming weeks. Andy Burnham is among the names being tipped to replace him. #politics #starmer #labour

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After Andy Burnham, the Northern Caesar of no mandate, informed Rachel Reeves her budget days were over, she fled to McDonald’s for honest work. In true Crewkernian style, her first shift went magnificently wrong. {satire}
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After Andy Burnham, the Northern Caesar of no mandate, informed Rachel Reeves her budget days were over, she fled to McDonald’s for honest work. In true Crewkernian style, her first shift went magnificently wrong. {satire}

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Forget Andy Burnham, the true King of the North has risen in the unlikely form of a van driver, whose blend of heckling, rap and poetry left Rachel Reeves rattled and the internet in stitches. Naturally, he has become an instant sensation. {satire}
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Forget Andy Burnham, the true King of the North has risen in the unlikely form of a van driver, whose blend of heckling, rap and poetry left Rachel Reeves rattled and the internet in stitches. Naturally, he has become an instant sensation. {satire}

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“We are well past the point where Keir Starmer could be a senior minister.” Rachel Reeves might survive in government in a less forward-facing role, but there’s no chance the PM gets a cabinet role from Andy Burnham, says @PatrickkMaguire. @HugoRifkind
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“We are well past the point where Keir Starmer could be a senior minister.” Rachel Reeves might survive in government in a less forward-facing role, but there’s no chance the PM gets a cabinet role from Andy Burnham, says @PatrickkMaguire. @HugoRifkind

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Rachel Reeves, "I'm backing Andy Burnham to be our next Prime Minister" "I've known Andy for 16-17 years now, and he's a good friend of mine" "But any choices for the new prime minister will be their choice, including who's in the Cabinet"
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Rachel Reeves, "I'm backing Andy Burnham to be our next Prime Minister" "I've known Andy for 16-17 years now, and he's a good friend of mine" "But any choices for the new prime minister will be their choice, including who's in the Cabinet"

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🚨"He's going to have to give Rachel SOMETHING" The Mail's Dan Hodges says Burnham might swap Yvette Cooper and Rachel Reeves' jobs round so Reeves becomes Foreign Secretary and that Burnham will bring back convicted fraudster Louise Haigh into the cabinet. "He wants to fill as many senior positions as he can with women" (((Dan Hodges))) | Jeremy Kyle

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BREAKING: Andy Burnham has confirmed he will request to stand in the Makerfield by-election Beth Rigby and @MarkAustinTV push Pat McFadden MP on whether the PM and his cabinet would try to block Andy Burnham running.

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🚨BREAKING: Andy Burnham has started reshuffling the Cabinet - with Housing Secretary Steve Reed the first to announce he has been let go from his position. Samara Gill Paul Shamplina
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“Andy has never shied away from the fact that he wanted at some point to lead the Labour Party” Rachel Reeves tells #bbclaurak that Andy Burnham needs “a worked-through plan” when he becomes PM and says it is "perfectly reasonable for people to have ambition".
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“Andy has never shied away from the fact that he wanted at some point to lead the Labour Party” Rachel Reeves tells #bbclaurak that Andy Burnham needs “a worked-through plan” when he becomes PM and says it is "perfectly reasonable for people to have ambition".

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"I felt sorry for Keir Starmer, to be honest." Kemi Badenoch thinks it's a 'disgrace' that Rachel Reeves snubbed the PM's resignation speech to go and take selfies with Andy Burnham.
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Good to be on Sky News talking about how Andy Burnham can take the fight to Reform UK in Makerfield and send them packing, alongside the welcome news from Rachel Reeves this week on the Government’s growth figures. 🌹
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Good to be on Sky News talking about how Andy Burnham can take the fight to Reform UK in Makerfield and send them packing, alongside the welcome news from Rachel Reeves this week on the Government’s growth figures. 🌹

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Andy Burnham clarified the T-shirt was “bright pink, actually”, before hitting the town and unveiling his secret alter ego, Andrea Burnham. A glam night out with Lily Savage somehow ended in lifelong marriage to homeless Ian Beale. {satire}
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Rachel Reeves has crashed our economy. I agree with the former Chief Economist Andy Haldane who said the Labour government has been "sucking all life" from the economy. We are all going to pay the price for their failure.
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Rachel Reeves has crashed our economy. I agree with the former Chief Economist Andy Haldane who said the Labour government has been "sucking all life" from the economy. We are all going to pay the price for their failure.

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🚨 ✅ Bridget Phillipson make a good point on Andy Burnham (responding to McSweeney’s claim Labour wasn’t ready to govern after 4 years): “Andy Burnham has been in Cabinet previously. He’s held a number of roles. He’s been an MP before. He actually has more experience of governing than many of us did when we entered government for the very first time as ministers in 2024.” Unlike Andy Burnham, who has real Cabinet and parliamentary experience, neither Starmer nor McSweeney had ever held office while Labour were in power. Starmer then sacked Sue Gray, the one senior figure who actually knew how government worked and their attempt to rule with iron fist failed spectacularly. The inexperience at the top has been glaring.
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🚨 ✅ Bridget Phillipson make a good point on Andy Burnham (responding to McSweeney’s claim Labour wasn’t ready to govern after 4 years): “Andy Burnham has been in Cabinet previously. He’s held a number of roles. He’s been an MP before. He actually has more experience of governing than many of us did when we entered government for the very first time as ministers in 2024.” Unlike Andy Burnham, who has real Cabinet and parliamentary experience, neither Starmer nor McSweeney had ever held office while Labour were in power. Starmer then sacked Sue Gray, the one senior figure who actually knew how government worked and their attempt to rule with iron fist failed spectacularly. The inexperience at the top has been glaring.

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Confronted with the reality that Britain has no serious deterrent against Iranian missile strikes, Rachel Reeves and Keir Starmer are forced to fall back on a contingency plan. {satire}
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Confronted with the reality that Britain has no serious deterrent against Iranian missile strikes, Rachel Reeves and Keir Starmer are forced to fall back on a contingency plan. {satire}

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