Big Data engineers 2026.

"Big Data is anything that crashes Excel" 😂

but only Office 365 Excel because cloud space is limited

"eventual consistency was way too hard so we went for immediately inaccurate" lol

It's like all the data people, I've ever worked with (no offense, fellas)!

could you share names? - for academic purposes of course.

I don't know how you can keep up at such high level 😄

AGI

"data is the new asbestos" lol

1+1 = 1.9 LOOOOOOL

95% confidence interval

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😍🫡

This ain't comedy it's the truth

Tribute @DEVOPS_BORAT Also full version on Yt.

“We are still confused.. but confused strongly typed..” killed me

This hits too close to home 🤣

We anonymized the data by removing the column 'name' 🤣🤣🤣

the best comedy is actual reality...

"Data is the new asbestos" killed me...

"... data is the new asbestos." LOL

🤣😂😂

Maintain system availability by shedding Jira tickets

@ScyllaDB I think we should hire this guy...

Lol

:D

"We migrated Cron to Airflow for reliability, then we wrote a Cron job to check if Airflow silently died"😂😂😂😂😂

Slide says we handle billions of events. It doesn’t say we handle them well. Dead.

“dashboard green because the job the checks the dashboard is red” - makes me think of a grafana dashboard I promised someone I’d get fixed by tomorrow, that’s stuck frozen showing a (then) much healthier CI snapshot from over a week ago

Two corrections; There is definitely more than %10 COBOL involved and when you remove a unused column it is usually breaks California before Portugal.

You're so underated man Why...

Top 10/10

use Jev for data

This might seem like skit 😭but it does happen

@gnuowned CAP mentioned!

Your videos are pure gold my dude.

You are genius 🤣🤣🤣