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🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Labor’s Import the Third World, Become the Third World – Latest Update MELBOURNE — Victorian Labor has once again delivered textbook results. A group of carefully selected recent arrivals borrowed a Porsche at machete-point, spent five hours testing EastLink’s wrong-way infrastructure, and only stopped when physics...

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🚨 BREAKING NEWS: “Lift Up People” Slogan Now Official Soundtrack to Street Stabbing MELBOURNE — In a masterclass of timing, Premier Carroll’s inspiring “we will lift up people… fulfill their dreams” rhetoric played over the latest Malvern Road enrichment event: a 50-year-old man left critical with serious head wounds after a midnight beating and stabbing. A known woman is in custody. Victorian Labor’s Marxist soft-on-crime laboratory has once again delivered textbook results… maximum empathy, minimum deterrence, and another quiet street turned into a live demonstration zone. Same same dreams. 🫶💀 9News Melbourne Ben Carroll
1:52

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: “Lift Up People” Slogan Now Official Soundtrack to Street Stabbing MELBOURNE — In a masterclass of timing, Premier Carroll’s inspiring “we will lift up people… fulfill their dreams” rhetoric played over the latest Malvern Road enrichment event: a 50-year-old man left critical with serious head wounds after a midnight beating and stabbing. A known woman is in custody. Victorian Labor’s Marxist soft-on-crime laboratory has once again delivered textbook results… maximum empathy, minimum deterrence, and another quiet street turned into a live demonstration zone. Same same dreams. 🫶💀 9News Melbourne Ben Carroll

mdtlion

34,479 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Allan Government Runs Out of Money for Police While Funding Transgender Care for Minors MELBOURNE — Following extensive consultation with the Progressive Stack™, Comrade Allan’s administration has correctly identified that processing DNA from stolen cars represents a colonial waste of resources. In a state where every available dollar must fund gender-affirming care for minors, indigenous treaties and the ongoing project of importing enough diversity to fundamentally transform the population, something had to give. That something was basic policing. Car theft is now understood as a vibrant cultural expression rather than a crime requiring forensic investigation. The decision to stop testing for fingerprints and DNA on routine thefts frees up detectives to focus on more pressing matters, such as monitoring wrongthink on social media and ensuring land acknowledgements are sufficiently solemn. The new policy takes effect Monday. Criminals are advised to wear gloves anyway, just in case. 7NEWS Melbourne 9News Melbourne Dave Hughes 10 News Melbourne Victorian Labor
1:26

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Allan Government Runs Out of Money for Police While Funding Transgender Care for Minors MELBOURNE — Following extensive consultation with the Progressive Stack™, Comrade Allan’s administration has correctly identified that processing DNA from stolen cars represents a colonial waste of resources. In a state where every available dollar must fund gender-affirming care for minors, indigenous treaties and the ongoing project of importing enough diversity to fundamentally transform the population, something had to give. That something was basic policing. Car theft is now understood as a vibrant cultural expression rather than a crime requiring forensic investigation. The decision to stop testing for fingerprints and DNA on routine thefts frees up detectives to focus on more pressing matters, such as monitoring wrongthink on social media and ensuring land acknowledgements are sufficiently solemn. The new policy takes effect Monday. Criminals are advised to wear gloves anyway, just in case. 7NEWS Melbourne 9News Melbourne Dave Hughes 10 News Melbourne Victorian Labor

mdtlion

15,710 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten

🚨BREAKING NEWS: African Youth Stabbed to Death by Middle Eastern Pack in Comrade Allan’s Victoria MELBOURNE — In a powerful demonstration of decolonised justice practices, a 15-year-old African youth participated in a vibrant multicultural encounter with a Middle Eastern youth gang in Craigieburn last night. The boy unfortunately did not survive the deeply enriching experience outside the medical centre. Comrade Jacinta’s transformative bail and sentencing reforms continue to create space for these important expressions of lived experience. Labor’s inclusive migration framework ensures that diverse communities can bring their authentic conflict resolution traditions into Australian suburbs, challenging the colonial carceral state while the judiciary prioritises healing over outdated notions of accountability. Another triumph for equity and inclusion. Jacinta thanks all participants for their service to equity. Diversity is our strength™. 9News Melbourne Victorian Labor Victoria Police
2:56

🚨BREAKING NEWS: African Youth Stabbed to Death by Middle Eastern Pack in Comrade Allan’s Victoria MELBOURNE — In a powerful demonstration of decolonised justice practices, a 15-year-old African youth participated in a vibrant multicultural encounter with a Middle Eastern youth gang in Craigieburn last night. The boy unfortunately did not survive the deeply enriching experience outside the medical centre. Comrade Jacinta’s transformative bail and sentencing reforms continue to create space for these important expressions of lived experience. Labor’s inclusive migration framework ensures that diverse communities can bring their authentic conflict resolution traditions into Australian suburbs, challenging the colonial carceral state while the judiciary prioritises healing over outdated notions of accountability. Another triumph for equity and inclusion. Jacinta thanks all participants for their service to equity. Diversity is our strength™. 9News Melbourne Victorian Labor Victoria Police

mdtlion

82,478 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Jacinta’s Bold Vision Finally Paying Off In Melton MELBOURNE — In the latest success story from Victoria’s world-leading soft-on-crime regime, two young men were helpfully relocated to hospital after a spirited cultural exchange in a Melton West car park. A machete sleeve was thoughtfully left behind as evidence of Victoria’s rich and diverse nightlife. This is exactly the kind of orderly, low-drama outcome you get when you combine mass migration, weak bail laws, and a judicial system that treats violent crime as a social work opportunity. Some people will never understand true progress. The Great Victorian Safety Experiment™ continues uninterrupted. 7NEWS Australia 9News Australia Victoria Police Victorian Labor
1:14

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Jacinta’s Bold Vision Finally Paying Off In Melton MELBOURNE — In the latest success story from Victoria’s world-leading soft-on-crime regime, two young men were helpfully relocated to hospital after a spirited cultural exchange in a Melton West car park. A machete sleeve was thoughtfully left behind as evidence of Victoria’s rich and diverse nightlife. This is exactly the kind of orderly, low-drama outcome you get when you combine mass migration, weak bail laws, and a judicial system that treats violent crime as a social work opportunity. Some people will never understand true progress. The Great Victorian Safety Experiment™ continues uninterrupted. 7NEWS Australia 9News Australia Victoria Police Victorian Labor

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11,775 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: He Said “Shall We Kill These C*nts?” Then He Did. MELBOURNE — In a stunning win for progressive justice, Jordan Kenyon… a brave young man living with complex trauma and substance-use challenges… was forced by systemic oppression into a fatal collision after the state cruelly fitted him with an ankle bracelet. His cocktail of GHB and alcohol was a cry for help. Mia Rossiter’s family must now do the hard work of unpacking their privilege and recognising that Kenyon is the true survivor of a carceral system that never understood him. Comrade Jacinta’s “tough new bail laws”™ remain the gold standard in evidence-based public safety. 7NEWS Melbourne Victoria Police Victorian Labor
2:26

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: He Said “Shall We Kill These C*nts?” Then He Did. MELBOURNE — In a stunning win for progressive justice, Jordan Kenyon… a brave young man living with complex trauma and substance-use challenges… was forced by systemic oppression into a fatal collision after the state cruelly fitted him with an ankle bracelet. His cocktail of GHB and alcohol was a cry for help. Mia Rossiter’s family must now do the hard work of unpacking their privilege and recognising that Kenyon is the true survivor of a carceral system that never understood him. Comrade Jacinta’s “tough new bail laws”™ remain the gold standard in evidence-based public safety. 7NEWS Melbourne Victoria Police Victorian Labor

mdtlion

81,951 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Albo & Burke Prepare to Import 21 More ISIS Brides While One Walks Free with Taxpayer Cash CANBERRA — In a move that will have every sane Australian choking on their morning coffee, the useless Australian Labor Marxist regime… Comrades Albo and Burke… are already lining up the next wave of terrorists to import. 21 more Australian (terrorists) are still stranded in that Syrian camp, and reports say they could be on the next flights. Meanwhile the 32-year-old who flew into Sydney is rotting in Silverwater Women’s Prison (bail denied, court in July), but the Melbourne one is already on the streets… no forced deradicalisation, eligible for thousands in government support. A man who helped bring them back was arrested on an “unrelated” assault charge the second he landed. Diversity is our strength™. Especially when it comes with returning caliphate members and taxpayer-funded welcome packs. 🫶💀 Anthony Albanese Tony Burke Australian Labor ABC News 7NEWS Melbourne 9News Melbourne
2:26

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Albo & Burke Prepare to Import 21 More ISIS Brides While One Walks Free with Taxpayer Cash CANBERRA — In a move that will have every sane Australian choking on their morning coffee, the useless Australian Labor Marxist regime… Comrades Albo and Burke… are already lining up the next wave of terrorists to import. 21 more Australian (terrorists) are still stranded in that Syrian camp, and reports say they could be on the next flights. Meanwhile the 32-year-old who flew into Sydney is rotting in Silverwater Women’s Prison (bail denied, court in July), but the Melbourne one is already on the streets… no forced deradicalisation, eligible for thousands in government support. A man who helped bring them back was arrested on an “unrelated” assault charge the second he landed. Diversity is our strength™. Especially when it comes with returning caliphate members and taxpayer-funded welcome packs. 🫶💀 Anthony Albanese Tony Burke Australian Labor ABC News 7NEWS Melbourne 9News Melbourne

mdtlion

19,022 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: “Death to Australia”… GetUp! Wrote the Theory. Someone Else Lit the Match. MELBOURNE — A progressive masked educator has kindly informed the settler-colonial project known as Australia that it must die. GetUp! called it “necessary pressure.” Jordan van den Lamb called it “praxis.” The neurodivergent Discord provided the moral permission. Reddit’s residual Marxists called it “based.” Our ABC will no doubt explain it as a complex response to structural injustice. Apparently the correct response to “no non-lethal F-35 parts” is arson and a death sentence for the entire country. Labor’s import-the-third-world-become-the-third-world™ policy is really paying dividends. Full circle achieved: import the ideology, import the violence, then act surprised when they start saying Death to Australia. Who could have possibly seen this coming? Progress. 🫶💀 ABC News 9News Australia GetUp! Josh Roose
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🚨 BREAKING NEWS: “Death to Australia”… GetUp! Wrote the Theory. Someone Else Lit the Match. MELBOURNE — A progressive masked educator has kindly informed the settler-colonial project known as Australia that it must die. GetUp! called it “necessary pressure.” Jordan van den Lamb called it “praxis.” The neurodivergent Discord provided the moral permission. Reddit’s residual Marxists called it “based.” Our ABC will no doubt explain it as a complex response to structural injustice. Apparently the correct response to “no non-lethal F-35 parts” is arson and a death sentence for the entire country. Labor’s import-the-third-world-become-the-third-world™ policy is really paying dividends. Full circle achieved: import the ideology, import the violence, then act surprised when they start saying Death to Australia. Who could have possibly seen this coming? Progress. 🫶💀 ABC News 9News Australia GetUp! Josh Roose

mdtlion

12,121 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Donald’s Tragic Event Beautifully Demonstrates the Success of Restorative Decarceration™ DONALD — In yet another powerful demonstration of Comrade Jacinta’s world-leading youth bail laws, a quiet 13-year-old girl is dead in the wheatbelt, allegedly at the hands of a 16-year-old already familiar to police. The system correctly refused to over-incarcerate on the basis of prior behaviour. Rather than rushing to judgement, we should recognise this as a powerful moment of community learning made possible by Comrade Jacinta’s courageous dismantling of punitive, carceral structures. Some may see a murdered child. The rest of us see the beautiful, necessary friction of progress. Weak judicial responses are not failures… they are deliberate features of a system designed to break cycles of colonial punishment. Regional towns like Donald are now absorbing these necessary social experiments, proving that the Premier’s commitment to keeping Victorians safe has never been stronger. Progress always has a body count. In this case, it belongs to a child in the wheatbelt. 7NEWS Australia Victorian Labor Victoria Police
2:57

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Donald’s Tragic Event Beautifully Demonstrates the Success of Restorative Decarceration™ DONALD — In yet another powerful demonstration of Comrade Jacinta’s world-leading youth bail laws, a quiet 13-year-old girl is dead in the wheatbelt, allegedly at the hands of a 16-year-old already familiar to police. The system correctly refused to over-incarcerate on the basis of prior behaviour. Rather than rushing to judgement, we should recognise this as a powerful moment of community learning made possible by Comrade Jacinta’s courageous dismantling of punitive, carceral structures. Some may see a murdered child. The rest of us see the beautiful, necessary friction of progress. Weak judicial responses are not failures… they are deliberate features of a system designed to break cycles of colonial punishment. Regional towns like Donald are now absorbing these necessary social experiments, proving that the Premier’s commitment to keeping Victorians safe has never been stronger. Progress always has a body count. In this case, it belongs to a child in the wheatbelt. 7NEWS Australia Victorian Labor Victoria Police

mdtlion

18,456 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Local Man Expresses Gratitude After Watching Children Ramming Police Cars in His Neighbourhood MELBOURNE — A concerned resident has come forward to praise Comrade Jacinta’s enlightened approach to youth crime. “We come to this country for a wery beautiful life,” he said, “but everything is changing radically and now I worry for my safety and for the kids.” Experts™ say this perfectly normal reaction proves the Premier’s weak judicial system™ and soft bail laws™ are successfully redistributing fear more equitably across all communities. The fact that 14 and 15-year-olds are now participating in police ramming incidents shows the progressive model is finally achieving genuine inclusion. Some critics claim this looks like societal collapse. Those people simply lack the vision to see how importing incompatible cultures™ while dismantling consequences™ creates a richer, more diverse kind of safety. 10 News Victorian Labor
2:23

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Local Man Expresses Gratitude After Watching Children Ramming Police Cars in His Neighbourhood MELBOURNE — A concerned resident has come forward to praise Comrade Jacinta’s enlightened approach to youth crime. “We come to this country for a wery beautiful life,” he said, “but everything is changing radically and now I worry for my safety and for the kids.” Experts™ say this perfectly normal reaction proves the Premier’s weak judicial system™ and soft bail laws™ are successfully redistributing fear more equitably across all communities. The fact that 14 and 15-year-olds are now participating in police ramming incidents shows the progressive model is finally achieving genuine inclusion. Some critics claim this looks like societal collapse. Those people simply lack the vision to see how importing incompatible cultures™ while dismantling consequences™ creates a richer, more diverse kind of safety. 10 News Victorian Labor

mdtlion

17,666 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Ferguson Delivers Masterclass in Journalistic Integrity CANBERRA — In a powerful display of balance™, Comrade Ferguson held Angus Taylor to account for daring to suggest that welfare should be a privilege of citizenship rather than an immediate right for new arrivals. She rightly highlighted concerns from Indian and Chinese diaspora communities while gently shielding Labor’s record of importing hundreds of thousands of new residents under Diversity is our Strength™. The Activist Broadcasting Corporation™ once again proved why it deserves every cent of taxpayer funding. Truly fearless journalism. 💀 ABC News Sarah Ferguson Angus Taylor MP
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🚨BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Ferguson Delivers Masterclass in Journalistic Integrity CANBERRA — In a powerful display of balance™, Comrade Ferguson held Angus Taylor to account for daring to suggest that welfare should be a privilege of citizenship rather than an immediate right for new arrivals. She rightly highlighted concerns from Indian and Chinese diaspora communities while gently shielding Labor’s record of importing hundreds of thousands of new residents under Diversity is our Strength™. The Activist Broadcasting Corporation™ once again proved why it deserves every cent of taxpayer funding. Truly fearless journalism. 💀 ABC News Sarah Ferguson Angus Taylor MP

mdtlion

12,800 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

"Melbourne's back, Victoria's back." Melbourne has once again been named the nation's most liveable city by the Economist’s annual liveability index, jumping up seven places to rank third in the world. Premier Dan Andrews took the opportunity to call our city "the real capital of our nation" in a not-so-subtle dig at our northern neighbours. "Melbourne is the centre of so many things that are important," he said. Watch the full story on 10 News First live at 5pm and on 10 Play |
0:46

"Melbourne's back, Victoria's back." Melbourne has once again been named the nation's most liveable city by the Economist’s annual liveability index, jumping up seven places to rank third in the world. Premier Dan Andrews took the opportunity to call our city "the real capital of our nation" in a not-so-subtle dig at our northern neighbours. "Melbourne is the centre of so many things that are important," he said. Watch the full story on 10 News First live at 5pm and on 10 Play |

10 News Melbourne

143,426 Aufrufe • vor 3 Jahren

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Released on Bail. Raped Two Women. Blamed Anxiety. MELBOURNE — Comrade Jacinta Allan’s progressive justice system continues to prioritise the lived experience of offenders over outdated concepts like “safety.” Timothy Richards, a 39-year-old with a 22-page criminal history and a passionate commitment to ice, was thoughtfully granted bail on the morning of the first alleged rape… free to pursue his passions. Within hours he allegedly forced his way into a woman’s home with a kitchen knife, told her to shut up, and raped her twice. The next morning he allegedly put a primary school staff member in a headlock and raped her too. But don’t worry. He suffers from anxiety and depression. Awww bless. 🫶 Jacinta’s government continues refusing to let outdated notions of “consequences” interfere with equity. After all, why lock up ice users when you can simply release them and let the public absorb the trauma instead? The tough new bail laws are clearly working exactly as designed. 🫶💀 9News Melbourne Victoria Police Victorian Labor
3:09

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Released on Bail. Raped Two Women. Blamed Anxiety. MELBOURNE — Comrade Jacinta Allan’s progressive justice system continues to prioritise the lived experience of offenders over outdated concepts like “safety.” Timothy Richards, a 39-year-old with a 22-page criminal history and a passionate commitment to ice, was thoughtfully granted bail on the morning of the first alleged rape… free to pursue his passions. Within hours he allegedly forced his way into a woman’s home with a kitchen knife, told her to shut up, and raped her twice. The next morning he allegedly put a primary school staff member in a headlock and raped her too. But don’t worry. He suffers from anxiety and depression. Awww bless. 🫶 Jacinta’s government continues refusing to let outdated notions of “consequences” interfere with equity. After all, why lock up ice users when you can simply release them and let the public absorb the trauma instead? The tough new bail laws are clearly working exactly as designed. 🫶💀 9News Melbourne Victoria Police Victorian Labor

mdtlion

19,774 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Jacinta’s Tough Bail Laws™ Just Chopped Another Arm Off MELBOURNE — In a stunning victory for equity, young people with extensive lived experience and currently on bail have begun actively redistributing limbs and phones across Elizabeth and Flinders Streets. This is what real systemic change looks like. Police know their names. Courts know their records. Yet the progressive regime correctly refuses to let outdated concepts like “accountability” interrupt their important community work under Restorative Justice™ and “second chances.” Local traders report the area is now a vibrant open-air marketplace for stolen goods, underage prostitution and casual limb removal. Traders calling it a “wretched hive” simply fail to understand trauma-informed urban renewal. Dear Leader Allan remains “encouraged” by the data. 🫶💀 9News Melbourne 10 News Melbourne Victoria Police Victorian Labor
2:06

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Jacinta’s Tough Bail Laws™ Just Chopped Another Arm Off MELBOURNE — In a stunning victory for equity, young people with extensive lived experience and currently on bail have begun actively redistributing limbs and phones across Elizabeth and Flinders Streets. This is what real systemic change looks like. Police know their names. Courts know their records. Yet the progressive regime correctly refuses to let outdated concepts like “accountability” interrupt their important community work under Restorative Justice™ and “second chances.” Local traders report the area is now a vibrant open-air marketplace for stolen goods, underage prostitution and casual limb removal. Traders calling it a “wretched hive” simply fail to understand trauma-informed urban renewal. Dear Leader Allan remains “encouraged” by the data. 🫶💀 9News Melbourne 10 News Melbourne Victoria Police Victorian Labor

mdtlion

38,078 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Clare O’Neill Perfects New Strategy: Tell Young People To Buy Houses, Change The Tax Rules, Then Blame Falling Prices On Everyone Except The Government CANBERRA — Comrade Clare went on Sunrise to explain that the biggest fall in home values since 2022 was actually evidence that Labor’s tax reforms were working as intended. With the Politics of Envy™ running at maximum efficiency, she assured viewers that the government was simply fixing a broken system. Young Australians now facing negative equity after following Labor’s advice were encouraged to see it as character-building rather than a direct result of broken promises on negative gearing and CGT. 7NEWS Australia Clare O'Neil MP Senator the Hon. Michaelia Cash Anthony Albanese Australian Labor nat barr
3:51

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Clare O’Neill Perfects New Strategy: Tell Young People To Buy Houses, Change The Tax Rules, Then Blame Falling Prices On Everyone Except The Government CANBERRA — Comrade Clare went on Sunrise to explain that the biggest fall in home values since 2022 was actually evidence that Labor’s tax reforms were working as intended. With the Politics of Envy™ running at maximum efficiency, she assured viewers that the government was simply fixing a broken system. Young Australians now facing negative equity after following Labor’s advice were encouraged to see it as character-building rather than a direct result of broken promises on negative gearing and CGT. 7NEWS Australia Clare O'Neil MP Senator the Hon. Michaelia Cash Anthony Albanese Australian Labor nat barr

mdtlion

16,242 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: He Paid $50 a Slap… She Asked for $200,000. MELBOURNE — In a heartwarming display of mutual respect, Sydney Swans star Isaac Heeney allegedly negotiated a transparent cash-for-contact arrangement with professional content creator Ellie Naughty at 4am in a Melbourne hotel room. Sources confirm the transaction was allegedly conducted with full enthusiastic consent and excellent customer service until the money ran out. The players have since been stood down for the season, proving once again that the real victim here is the Swans’ premiership window. Sydney Swans Fox Footy AFL
0:42

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: He Paid $50 a Slap… She Asked for $200,000. MELBOURNE — In a heartwarming display of mutual respect, Sydney Swans star Isaac Heeney allegedly negotiated a transparent cash-for-contact arrangement with professional content creator Ellie Naughty at 4am in a Melbourne hotel room. Sources confirm the transaction was allegedly conducted with full enthusiastic consent and excellent customer service until the money ran out. The players have since been stood down for the season, proving once again that the real victim here is the Swans’ premiership window. Sydney Swans Fox Footy AFL

mdtlion

361,150 Aufrufe • vor 24 Tagen

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Victoria Celebrates Machete Equity Milestone as Bail Laws Finally Set Criminals Free to Reoffend Properly SOUTH MELBOURNE — In a heartwarming display of progressive justice, a 39-year-old man caught wielding a machete and linked to a chain of violence that ended with a woman dead and a police officer’s leg shattered was heroically granted bail this weekend… proving once again that Victoria’s legal system puts feelings before fractures and ideology before innocence. The incident unfolded Saturday afternoon near Dow Street, South Melbourne. Witnesses watched in horror as the man… captured earlier that day on CCTV riding a scooter through Park Towers with a machete like it was Mad Max meets Myki… was approached by police. As an officer attempted the arrest, a woman in a stolen SUV with fake plates drove directly into him, pinning him against a wall. The officer screamed in agony. Four shots were fired. The woman died at the scene. Her passenger was hospitalised. And the machete man? Released. Charged with a prohibited weapon and bike theft. Court date: August 12. Don’t worry, though. Jacinta Allan’s regime has promised to think about banning machetes… but not until September, because clearly, nothing says “urgent” like a five-month review process for bladed weapons in the middle of a crime crisis. Minister for the Environment Steve Dimopoulos emerged briefly to offer deep reflections on biodiversity, tree canopies, and his unwavering support for the real victims in all this… the Labor Party polling team. When not dodging questions about machete-wielding thugs on bail, he’s been bravely tweeting about the real threat to society: evil billionaires… because nothing says public safety like blaming Elon Musk while your own suburbs resemble a GTA side mission. Meanwhile, Police Minister Anthony Carbines has been reportedly “monitoring the situation” from deep inside a PowerPoint deck about community engagement. As for Jacinta Allan herself, she was unavailable for comment. Possibly in a DEI workshop, or testing which pronouns sound best with “Premier.” This is the logical endgame of the Dan Andrews blueprint… a legal and cultural architecture built on two pillars: criminal leniency and identity theatre. A machete-wielding man isn’t a threat… he’s a misunderstood member of an overlooked community. The officer who risked his life? A footnote. The Allan government’s obsession with equity has gone full circle: violent offenders are now more protected than our kids. Bail reform? Not a chance. Knife laws? September. Public safety? Get in line behind carbon targets and Pride flags. This isn’t law and order. It’s state-sponsored anarchy, dressed in progressive hashtags and held together by bureaucrats who couldn’t run a tuckshop, let alone a justice system. And when the next officer is pinned, when the next child watches someone bleed out on their doorstep, they’ll still call it community-based policing… because in Victoria, the only crime is expecting accountability. Jacinta Allan Dan Andrews Steve Dimopoulos MP Anthony Carbines MP Victorian Labor Victoria Police City of Port Phillip Brad Battin MP
3:24

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Victoria Celebrates Machete Equity Milestone as Bail Laws Finally Set Criminals Free to Reoffend Properly SOUTH MELBOURNE — In a heartwarming display of progressive justice, a 39-year-old man caught wielding a machete and linked to a chain of violence that ended with a woman dead and a police officer’s leg shattered was heroically granted bail this weekend… proving once again that Victoria’s legal system puts feelings before fractures and ideology before innocence. The incident unfolded Saturday afternoon near Dow Street, South Melbourne. Witnesses watched in horror as the man… captured earlier that day on CCTV riding a scooter through Park Towers with a machete like it was Mad Max meets Myki… was approached by police. As an officer attempted the arrest, a woman in a stolen SUV with fake plates drove directly into him, pinning him against a wall. The officer screamed in agony. Four shots were fired. The woman died at the scene. Her passenger was hospitalised. And the machete man? Released. Charged with a prohibited weapon and bike theft. Court date: August 12. Don’t worry, though. Jacinta Allan’s regime has promised to think about banning machetes… but not until September, because clearly, nothing says “urgent” like a five-month review process for bladed weapons in the middle of a crime crisis. Minister for the Environment Steve Dimopoulos emerged briefly to offer deep reflections on biodiversity, tree canopies, and his unwavering support for the real victims in all this… the Labor Party polling team. When not dodging questions about machete-wielding thugs on bail, he’s been bravely tweeting about the real threat to society: evil billionaires… because nothing says public safety like blaming Elon Musk while your own suburbs resemble a GTA side mission. Meanwhile, Police Minister Anthony Carbines has been reportedly “monitoring the situation” from deep inside a PowerPoint deck about community engagement. As for Jacinta Allan herself, she was unavailable for comment. Possibly in a DEI workshop, or testing which pronouns sound best with “Premier.” This is the logical endgame of the Dan Andrews blueprint… a legal and cultural architecture built on two pillars: criminal leniency and identity theatre. A machete-wielding man isn’t a threat… he’s a misunderstood member of an overlooked community. The officer who risked his life? A footnote. The Allan government’s obsession with equity has gone full circle: violent offenders are now more protected than our kids. Bail reform? Not a chance. Knife laws? September. Public safety? Get in line behind carbon targets and Pride flags. This isn’t law and order. It’s state-sponsored anarchy, dressed in progressive hashtags and held together by bureaucrats who couldn’t run a tuckshop, let alone a justice system. And when the next officer is pinned, when the next child watches someone bleed out on their doorstep, they’ll still call it community-based policing… because in Victoria, the only crime is expecting accountability. Jacinta Allan Dan Andrews Steve Dimopoulos MP Anthony Carbines MP Victorian Labor Victoria Police City of Port Phillip Brad Battin MP

mdtlion

63,632 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Anzac Service Saved by Fines as Welcome to Country™ Declared Mandatory State Religion MELBOURNE — In groundbreaking news, Victoria’s courts have ruled booing during a Welcome to Country at the Shrine equals national threat level. Our totally unbiased politically neutral ABC beamed with pride reporting the victory over wrongthink. Meanwhile, the stunning and brave activist Jasmine Duff’s courageous post-court verbal assault perfectly embodied the inclusive spirit these rituals foster. Forget free speech… that outdated colonial relic… now every gathering requires ancestral performance art or face fines. Next up: mandatory daily Acknowledgements or re-education camps? Kristian Silva ABC News 7NEWS Melbourne The Noticer
1:59

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Anzac Service Saved by Fines as Welcome to Country™ Declared Mandatory State Religion MELBOURNE — In groundbreaking news, Victoria’s courts have ruled booing during a Welcome to Country at the Shrine equals national threat level. Our totally unbiased politically neutral ABC beamed with pride reporting the victory over wrongthink. Meanwhile, the stunning and brave activist Jasmine Duff’s courageous post-court verbal assault perfectly embodied the inclusive spirit these rituals foster. Forget free speech… that outdated colonial relic… now every gathering requires ancestral performance art or face fines. Next up: mandatory daily Acknowledgements or re-education camps? Kristian Silva ABC News 7NEWS Melbourne The Noticer

mdtlion

11,655 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Energy Minister Books $4m Fiji Luxury While Australians Can’t Afford Power SYDNEY — It is almost heartbreaking to watch Globalist Comrade Chris Bowen endure the brutal hardship of five-star Fiji resorts while carrying the weight of the entire Climate Crisis™ on his shoulders. The $4.2 million price tag for the Sheraton, Sofitel and Radisson is clearly the minimum required to maintain Australia’s moral authority at the pre-COP31 talks. If Bowen did not secure world-class accommodation, the planet itself might collapse. Australians struggling with power bills should be grateful someone is willing to make these sacrifices on their behalf. The $150 million cost of maintaining his vital Co-President role is clearly money well spent when the alternative is allowing climate work to occur in anything less than world-class conditions. Australians should feel reassured that their priorities are being protected at the highest level. 🌎🫶 7NEWS Australia UN Climate Change Australian Labor
2:13

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Energy Minister Books $4m Fiji Luxury While Australians Can’t Afford Power SYDNEY — It is almost heartbreaking to watch Globalist Comrade Chris Bowen endure the brutal hardship of five-star Fiji resorts while carrying the weight of the entire Climate Crisis™ on his shoulders. The $4.2 million price tag for the Sheraton, Sofitel and Radisson is clearly the minimum required to maintain Australia’s moral authority at the pre-COP31 talks. If Bowen did not secure world-class accommodation, the planet itself might collapse. Australians struggling with power bills should be grateful someone is willing to make these sacrifices on their behalf. The $150 million cost of maintaining his vital Co-President role is clearly money well spent when the alternative is allowing climate work to occur in anything less than world-class conditions. Australians should feel reassured that their priorities are being protected at the highest level. 🌎🫶 7NEWS Australia UN Climate Change Australian Labor

mdtlion

13,950 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Stunning And Brave™ Jason Tickle Declared Official Woman After Court Rules Biology Is Hate Speech SYDNEY — In a landmark victory for the mentally ill dude in a dress community, the Full Federal Court has ruled that Jason Tickle… a biological male who spent a decade in men’s hockey before discovering his inner woman… was the victim of direct discrimination when excluded from a women-only app. The judges, channelling the spirit of Julia Gillard’s 2013 Sex Discrimination Act amendment, declared that “sex is changeable” and that any woman who objects is guilty of gratuitous, disrespectful conduct. Tickle, who now boasts one-third the testosterone of an actual female and claims women’s hockey “saved my life,” celebrated by telling the radical leftist ABC and SBS that he brought the case to show other confused men they can be brave™. The progressive Marxist Australian government and the Australian Human Rights Commission have hailed the decision as a triumph of Diversity Is Our Strength™. Biological women? Irrelevant. Their spaces, their safety, their sports… all now open to any man who says the magic words. The court was clear: men are women now. Women are optional. And anyone who notices the difference is guilty of a hate crime against progress itself. Sall Grover Julia Gillard ABC News SBS Australia Australian Human Rights Commission Australian Labor
1:36

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Stunning And Brave™ Jason Tickle Declared Official Woman After Court Rules Biology Is Hate Speech SYDNEY — In a landmark victory for the mentally ill dude in a dress community, the Full Federal Court has ruled that Jason Tickle… a biological male who spent a decade in men’s hockey before discovering his inner woman… was the victim of direct discrimination when excluded from a women-only app. The judges, channelling the spirit of Julia Gillard’s 2013 Sex Discrimination Act amendment, declared that “sex is changeable” and that any woman who objects is guilty of gratuitous, disrespectful conduct. Tickle, who now boasts one-third the testosterone of an actual female and claims women’s hockey “saved my life,” celebrated by telling the radical leftist ABC and SBS that he brought the case to show other confused men they can be brave™. The progressive Marxist Australian government and the Australian Human Rights Commission have hailed the decision as a triumph of Diversity Is Our Strength™. Biological women? Irrelevant. Their spaces, their safety, their sports… all now open to any man who says the magic words. The court was clear: men are women now. Women are optional. And anyone who notices the difference is guilty of a hate crime against progress itself. Sall Grover Julia Gillard ABC News SBS Australia Australian Human Rights Commission Australian Labor

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34,930 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Heroic Australian Tourist Challenges Oppressive Cafe Culture in Vietnam DA NANG — In a stunning act of resistance against rigid ordering protocols, one Aussie bravely removed his shirt and took direct action with available furniture. His powerful demonstration of neurodivergent™ self-advocacy and lived experience™ has sparked vital conversations about allyship™ and decolonising tourist spaces™. The gentle, trauma-informed™ police response only added to the immersive experience™. We need more men willing to risk everything for radical authenticity™ abroad. 10 News I, Malcontent
0:58

🚨BREAKING NEWS: Heroic Australian Tourist Challenges Oppressive Cafe Culture in Vietnam DA NANG — In a stunning act of resistance against rigid ordering protocols, one Aussie bravely removed his shirt and took direct action with available furniture. His powerful demonstration of neurodivergent™ self-advocacy and lived experience™ has sparked vital conversations about allyship™ and decolonising tourist spaces™. The gentle, trauma-informed™ police response only added to the immersive experience™. We need more men willing to risk everything for radical authenticity™ abroad. 10 News I, Malcontent

mdtlion

15,287 Aufrufe • vor 3 Monaten