Communication expert explains how to get people to like you more:

Middle aged dude here, conversations in the hundreds of thousands across decades and countries, races and sexes, good times and bad....no one and I mean no one wants their name said repeatedly in any conversation. Super weird.

Wrong. This makes people sound incredibly superficial. The radar starts blaring and I'm instantly suspicious of this person.

Instantly took a dislike to him

The best way to get people to like you is to never think about ways you can get people to like you. (This clip is so cringe.)

When someone uses my name too much it creeps me out and comes across as extremely inauthentic, performative.

The first five seconds of this dude's face screams greaseball salesman, and I would want to end the conversation with him almost immediately.

If someone used my name 5 times in a conversation when they barely knew me I’d think they were manipulative or trying to murder me. Please do not do this. Forcing it and being fake is exactly the opposite of how to create a genuine connection. Once or twice is enough. Acknowledging a person genuinely, and once when you say goodbye. Anything more is suggesting serial killer.

now CODIE, this is really somethin special. This is an opportunity Codie, and it's not gonna last!

Repeating someone’s name in a conversation is 100% a rapidly diminishing marginal return technique. Sure, once or twice every 20 minutes of the convo works but people think it’s every 10 seconds.

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” - Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

I have actively asked people to stop doing this and it’s usually clear they’ve just read one book

Type of dude that got really into 48 laws of power and now likes thinking of themselves as Machiavellian

Nonsense. It’s inauthentic.

No, this is actually very weird. Don't do this.

A Carnegie thing that has not aged well and should be banished. Professional training should teach people to NOT do this.

Using name repeatedly Sounds phony to me. . Good questions where the other side shows they understand say a point I made is good. Superficial questions sound phony. Maybe I’m an outlier. I was surprise Codie said she liked him already. To me that conversation was superficial.

People who do this are weird 😅 Better version, just remember their name when they introduce themselves, never mention it again, when you part ways say "bye Codie". Usually uncommon and it's always a nice surprise. Say it 5 times in a convo and they might be a murderer.

Saying names like this too much though can also have the opposite effect. Comes off insincere, and I instantly know when someone is forcing it.

Maybe cultural differences play a role, because if you call my name more than once you start to sound like my parent, and our parents call us by our government name when we have done something wrong.

Trending podcast topic: is someone who repeats your name annoying, or makes you pay attention?

Yeah, and make sure you touch them on the shoulder repeatedly while saying their name. 🤦‍♂️

Why do I perceive people using my name in conversation as a lecture? Maybe because my father would use my full name when he was commanding authority.

When people use my name too often it gives me the ick. I don’t use my friend’s names when I talk to them. Why would a rando using my name make me feel more comfortable?

I am 100% the opposite way! When people say my name multiple times when they’re talking to me, it sounds condescending, and it pisses me off. I know what my name is, stop saying it.

Consultants did this and it was blatantly obvious and cringe. Had the opposite effect.

Soooo, he read a Dale Carnegie book and rebrands the information as his own. Got it. For Christ’s sake don’t people read books anymore 🤦🏼‍♂️

Nothing screams salesman to me more than them frequently repeating my name .

Is there anything, A single thing, Genuine About these people.

This name trick is so uncommon that if anyone ever started saying my name multiple times during a conversation, I would immediately clock that they are trying to use this tactic, and it would make me trust them less.

Okay, I generally like this guy, but “there’s nothing more sweeter” is not something that should ever come out of the mouth of a person being positioned as a “communication expert”.

if it's a one-on-one conversation and you use my name outside the first or last sentences you say to me, my interest in continuing to have a conversation with you or be in proximity to you drops negative

If you say my name repeatedly in a short window I’m going to immediately decide to never trust you and avoid communicating with you again

Dawg, you have to avert your gaze even a little, you’re giving door to door fringe Christian sect salesman. And don’t say someone’s name more than a couple of times, it reads as a crude attempt at NLP / brainwashing. Just be normal. Listening to ppl & basic curiosity aren’t hacks

The only truly genuine time to say someone's name like this is when you are leaving. "Hey John, it was nice to meet you." All the rest of the times makes you sound like a sleaze. Just true.

This guy looks and talks like a psychopath and his advice is horseshit.