Cook the turkey, not your home.

Every 6pm news broadcast in America should open with this video.

"Our top story this evening [insert any number of horrors], but first a message from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission..."

Europeans have found this video so like last year in the spirit of good will, after you've made fun of Americans, you must share the most dangerous cooking method in your country.

Folks requesting specific instructions on how to avoid this scenario - what you have in this here government safety video is an example of everything being done wrong. Bird is huge and frozen. Oil is too high and too hot. Fryer is indoors or too close to the home...

So don't do any of that. Read the instructions that come with your fryer. Follow them closely. If you want to skip oil all together, there are infrared turkey fryers. Whatever you use, never leave your food cooking unattended. Unattended cooking is the #1 cause of home fires.

Also download our new album and stay alive, America!

Many people are discovering the social media presence of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission for the first time. Welcome.

Can I ask if that is fun? Like doing the disasters just to show us as an example, is the disaster making part fun

You know when we do space stuff in America and the rocket takes off, or the satellite deploys, or the helicopter flies on Mars and everyone cheers because it all worked the way it's supposed to, and no one got hurt. It's a lot like that.

Where can one acquire a hovering turkey

These are government-issue hovering turkeys.