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FFINALLLLYYYYYYYYYYY

255,686 görüntüleme • 2 ay önce •via X (Twitter)

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IS IT ADVISABLE TO MARRY A WOMAN WHO IS MORE CAREER-DRIVEN THAN YOU? Hello, friends. Welcome to another episode of Mr & Mrs Better Half. It is designed to strengthen marriages and relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word. Sometimes ago, I asked some friends, ‘what do you think causes major friction in a marriage?’ One of the answers was money. On further probing, we got into one of the big money issues: “Finances are often problematic when the wife earns more.” A follow-up question: Since few earn millions on their 1st job, how did these women build their finances to surpass their husbands’? Again, we hit another interesting note- ‘some women are too ambitious! If they would just ‘chill’ things would be okay.’ This statement threw up so many questions. Should a wife deliberately go for a low-paying job to avoid earning more than her husband? Should she also perform poorly to ensure she doesn’t get promoted? If she’s offered a raise, should she refuse? Of course, these things sound silly but these are actual options some couples have considered in their homes to preserve the peace. Sometimes, the man actually starts out earning more but calamity strikes and his business/career goes downhill. So the once ‘balanced’ household turns upside down because the woman now pulls most of the financial weight. The big question you should ask is this. ‘Why should money (something so many seem to be chasing) which should make life easier become the very thing that can cause unhappiness? There are 4 things I would like you to consider today- Changing times, Culture, Acceptance and Attitude. A) Changing Times: Men, the days when women in the workplace were oddities have since gone. With advancements in technology, many of the more physical jobs have been taken over by machines. This means that there’s no reason women should be sidelined on the grounds of being physically weaker than men. This coupled with the realization of a woman’s right to express her intelligence means the world has made much progress where women in the workplace are concerned. Today there is hardly any industry where you will not find women doing remarkable things. As a result, it is not uncommon for husbands & wives to earn similar salaries or have the wives even bringing more. The truth is that most men like the added household income- who wouldn’t? The only thing is that they just want to earn more than their wives. This clearly becomes an issue of self-esteem and ego. Please understand that you can’t derive your sense of self from money. Many men think being a man is all about bringing in money. It takes a lot more than that to be a real man. Different things make a man. They include the ability to provide, lead, protect, nurture and love. Men you have to bring more to the table than just money to be an exemplary head of your household. So stop being hung up on money alone. (B) Let’s go to Culture. In the past women were touted as the homemakers while men barely lifted a finger in their homes. What men didn’t understand is that being a homemaker is a very marketable skill! A good homemaker is likely to be very skilled in people and money management, multi-tasking, negotiation skills, etc. You’d think that keeping a woman in the house would incapacitate her in the business terrain but you’d be wrong! Women develop the soft skills required for top-tier management quite early in life! Coupled with formal education, a woman who truly wants to succeed in business is a force to reckon with. Perhaps we should take a look at how we raise our sons these days. We might just be doing them a disservice! (C) Let’s discuss Acceptance. As a man, I understand one’s ego can take a pounding if your wife earns more. Single men dating ladies that earn more often vow to themselves that they'll turn the financial tables around before they get married or shortly after. Like it or not, this doesn’t always happen. Sometimes a woman’s gift will shoot her to the peak of her profession. What will you do? Will you kill yourself trying to earn more? Will you resent her success or do the mature and supportive thing and accept it? I have come to know a certain truth. As much as it might be your preference, who earns more in your relationship is not your call. I will repeat this. It is not your call to determine who earns more in this life. Everyone has a race to run. God has blessed everyone with a unique gift. You cannot determine the extent of another person’s potential. If you can't cope with a successful lady you actually have a problem with self-esteem which is not her problem; it’s yours. Single guys, when you court a lady, look beyond her hips, lips and fingertips and determine her inner ‘horsepower’. Can you envision whom she is likely to be if all things work out for her good? Will you be intimidated by her success? There are ladies who are incredibly brilliant, driven and ambitious. You can tell they are loaded from the onset. Such people tend to have a light shine on them and often end up in the public eye doing great things. You shouldn’t marry someone like that and try to cap her … you will kill her spirit, kill the marriage or kill yourself. Remember that your wife also wants to die empty. Your responsibility as a husband is to give her wings to fly. Be a real man, a secure man. Manage your ego and support her. Now if this is difficult for you to stomach, please don’t marry her. In your house, everyone should be a cheerleader urging each one to victory. If you know you've the tendency to be jealous of people’s progress or be competitive, marry wisely. More importantly, deal with this weakness. It’s a bad one & reeks of emotional immaturity. (D) Finally- Attitude. Sometimes the husbands try to be supportive but the attitudes of the wives make it very hard. I have already addressed the men on attitude and the need to build their self-confidence and be supportive of their wives, but now I’ll speak to the wives. To the women: Do you lord the fact that you earn more over your husband? Do you seize the reins and make the big decisions? If you keep cutting down your husband because you earn more money, you pull down your home with your hands. Please don’t get it twisted. The man remains the head of the home. Don’t let money or your position at work get to your head. Pride is unattractive in anyone and that includes you. Cultivate a gentle, quiet and humble spirit. It’s important to note that money or wealth will always amplify who you really are. If you are compassionate and respectful you will continue to be so regardless of the money you make. If you are crass, rude and disloyal, money will make that more apparent and cause problems in the home. Remember that marriage is a partnership. Your success is really “our success”. His support helped you become successful. Even if he has not been supportive still carry your blessing with decorum and don’t disrespect him. Remember the blessing comes from God. A woman that sees God’s perspective when it comes to the marriage institution will not misbehave when blessed. God has chosen to bless your family through you. Be humbled by the blessing and obedient to God’s order. To both man and wife: keep praying for each other’s success. Both of you should do your best, no one taking advantage of the other. Keep aspiring to get better and more productive. Keep pushing the limits and be the best you can be. God will cause joy to fill your home. I hope this has been helpful to you. I will be back next week with another topic. Until then, thanks for following and retweeting. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf

Godman Akinlabi

141,480 görüntüleme • 3 yıl önce