Loading video...

Video Failed to Load

Go Home

Finally stepping out for some sun ☀️ after three days cooped up inside. It's still chilly, but the fresh air feels good right now. We've got one more night of hard freeze ahead, then we're in the clear. I have to admit, I deal with S.A.D.—Seasonal Affective Disorder. I've...

CyllaKavanaugh's profile picture

Cylla Kavanaugh

181,786 subscribers

34,484 views • 5 months ago •via X (Twitter)

Health & WellnessEducation
LIVE

Anya Rossi• Live Now

Private livecam show

0 Comments

No comments available

Comments from the original post will appear here

Related Videos

Lando: “In a way I wanted to keep number 4 because I'm just happy with that and it goes well with my logo. So that's how straightforward I am. But I will go with number 1. Because I have to. I have to. It could be my only opportunity in my life that I get to do such a thing. Not many people in the world get to do that kind of thing. And it's not for me. It's just for my mechanics. This is for my engineers. It's the fact that they get to run with the number 1 on the car. And I think it'll mean a lot more to them than it does to me as a number. And for me, that's a lot more important.”
0:40

Lando: “In a way I wanted to keep number 4 because I'm just happy with that and it goes well with my logo. So that's how straightforward I am. But I will go with number 1. Because I have to. I have to. It could be my only opportunity in my life that I get to do such a thing. Not many people in the world get to do that kind of thing. And it's not for me. It's just for my mechanics. This is for my engineers. It's the fact that they get to run with the number 1 on the car. And I think it'll mean a lot more to them than it does to me as a number. And for me, that's a lot more important.”

naenia ¹ ⁶³

1,647,585 views • 7 months ago

Mental Health Motivation today courtesy of me and Rondé Barber. So here’s the deal gang, 5 years ago, I was stuck in one of the darkest, most painful periods of my life. The dark gray got so bad I wasn’t thinking sensibly to the point where I would go to sleep at night hoping tomorrow wouldn’t come. This was well before I ever talked publicly about my depression, anxiety and mental health issues or wrote my book Unbreakable about it. So for the first time I did something I now implore alllll of us to do when we are hurting. For the first time… I FINALLY called my boys (my teammates in life) and told them how much pain I was in and that I needed help. I was heading to Tampa for the Super Bowl and the day before I left I called this man, Ronde Barber and two of our other friends Ben Heldfund and Brian Rhattigan and told them I needed to meet up down there because I was going through something. At first they couldn’t because they already had plans but then I communicated much more directly and said, “No, guys I NEED to meet, I AM STRUGGLING… BADLY!!!” All three immediately dropped their other plans and said, “What time and where? I got you!” I GOT YOU Their reaction changed everything for me that day. I think it was the first time I ever really truly told friends about my mental health battles in detail. I didn’t hold back. Didn’t try to wear a mask anymore and hide my pain behind the mask of a huge personality. I was real with them. Their reaction changed my life. Showed me the power of “I got you!” And showed me the power of opening up and leaning into my teammates. Folks, since I’ve opened up it’s turned friends into brothers and sisters. And those bonds will be the same bonds there for us now, in 5 years, 15 years, 50 years. Safety in Vulnerability was the greatest gift they could have given me. So I want to implore ALL of you… LEAN INTO YOUR TEAMMATES!!! I will do ANYTHING for my teammates. Ronde, Ben, Brian… thank you! I got you too!
1:42

Mental Health Motivation today courtesy of me and Rondé Barber. So here’s the deal gang, 5 years ago, I was stuck in one of the darkest, most painful periods of my life. The dark gray got so bad I wasn’t thinking sensibly to the point where I would go to sleep at night hoping tomorrow wouldn’t come. This was well before I ever talked publicly about my depression, anxiety and mental health issues or wrote my book Unbreakable about it. So for the first time I did something I now implore alllll of us to do when we are hurting. For the first time… I FINALLY called my boys (my teammates in life) and told them how much pain I was in and that I needed help. I was heading to Tampa for the Super Bowl and the day before I left I called this man, Ronde Barber and two of our other friends Ben Heldfund and Brian Rhattigan and told them I needed to meet up down there because I was going through something. At first they couldn’t because they already had plans but then I communicated much more directly and said, “No, guys I NEED to meet, I AM STRUGGLING… BADLY!!!” All three immediately dropped their other plans and said, “What time and where? I got you!” I GOT YOU Their reaction changed everything for me that day. I think it was the first time I ever really truly told friends about my mental health battles in detail. I didn’t hold back. Didn’t try to wear a mask anymore and hide my pain behind the mask of a huge personality. I was real with them. Their reaction changed my life. Showed me the power of “I got you!” And showed me the power of opening up and leaning into my teammates. Folks, since I’ve opened up it’s turned friends into brothers and sisters. And those bonds will be the same bonds there for us now, in 5 years, 15 years, 50 years. Safety in Vulnerability was the greatest gift they could have given me. So I want to implore ALL of you… LEAN INTO YOUR TEAMMATES!!! I will do ANYTHING for my teammates. Ronde, Ben, Brian… thank you! I got you too!

Jay Glazer

120,552 views • 8 months ago

For more than a year, I've poured my heart into creating my Alice in Wonderland Themed Airbnb. It's taken countless hours, plenty of setbacks, and more hard work than I ever imagined. There are still days when it feels like the finish line is a long way off, but when I look back at where it started, I can't help but feel proud. This place has become so much more than a project, it's a dream I've held onto and slowly brought to life, one piece at a time. Every detail reflects a little bit of my imagination and a lot of my heart. I know it's not finished yet, but seeing it come together reminds me that the best things are worth the time, patience, and love they require. I can't wait for the day I finally open the door and share this little Wonderland with the world. ❤️
0:47

For more than a year, I've poured my heart into creating my Alice in Wonderland Themed Airbnb. It's taken countless hours, plenty of setbacks, and more hard work than I ever imagined. There are still days when it feels like the finish line is a long way off, but when I look back at where it started, I can't help but feel proud. This place has become so much more than a project, it's a dream I've held onto and slowly brought to life, one piece at a time. Every detail reflects a little bit of my imagination and a lot of my heart. I know it's not finished yet, but seeing it come together reminds me that the best things are worth the time, patience, and love they require. I can't wait for the day I finally open the door and share this little Wonderland with the world. ❤️

Kat Stryker

17,038 views • 3 days ago

This part breaks and heals my heart at the same time 💔Mingi’s words are full of wisdom, as always🥺 🐥 I was full of arrogance in the beginning, but after I made my debut, I felt so small. From then on, I lost a lot of my mental strength. As soon as I made my debut, I thought I was the best and I thought I was in first place. That’s why those aspirations, that tenacity, and that something about me - my self-worth - was so high. But after that, it was destroyed in an instant. 🐥 I lost a lot of my self-worth, and I started to feel like I was worth nothing. I started to doubt if there was any reason for me to be in this group. When I feel that kind of self-disgust, I think it’s important how I overcome those thoughts. In my early days of my debut, I think I only had a pretty packaging on me. I used to think, ‘I’m doing well, what more can I do?’ But after that pretty packaging came off, I had nothing inside. So I think it took me a long time to fill myself up. Now, even if I break down once in a while, I just go back to the human Song Mingi, and I look for the things I like one by one, and then I think, ‘People will like me a bit now, right?’ Since we’re celebrities, we need to satisfy the people to a certain degree. But I think we still have to satisfy ourselves in the process as well. I think I try to find a harmony between the two in my head. 🐥 It took me a long time to build this up, but I think the process of building myself up, unlike building a sand castle, you build it up little by little. So I feel like, internally, I have become more resilient, compare to before.
1:52

This part breaks and heals my heart at the same time 💔Mingi’s words are full of wisdom, as always🥺 🐥 I was full of arrogance in the beginning, but after I made my debut, I felt so small. From then on, I lost a lot of my mental strength. As soon as I made my debut, I thought I was the best and I thought I was in first place. That’s why those aspirations, that tenacity, and that something about me - my self-worth - was so high. But after that, it was destroyed in an instant. 🐥 I lost a lot of my self-worth, and I started to feel like I was worth nothing. I started to doubt if there was any reason for me to be in this group. When I feel that kind of self-disgust, I think it’s important how I overcome those thoughts. In my early days of my debut, I think I only had a pretty packaging on me. I used to think, ‘I’m doing well, what more can I do?’ But after that pretty packaging came off, I had nothing inside. So I think it took me a long time to fill myself up. Now, even if I break down once in a while, I just go back to the human Song Mingi, and I look for the things I like one by one, and then I think, ‘People will like me a bit now, right?’ Since we’re celebrities, we need to satisfy the people to a certain degree. But I think we still have to satisfy ourselves in the process as well. I think I try to find a harmony between the two in my head. 🐥 It took me a long time to build this up, but I think the process of building myself up, unlike building a sand castle, you build it up little by little. So I feel like, internally, I have become more resilient, compare to before.

Irene | AhgaTiny

35,998 views • 10 months ago

“This year you won Monaco, you won Silverstone, and you won the World Championship. What else is there left to do?” Lando: “I mean, they're really the best ones. Just downhill from here. I would have loved to make my life a bit easier and winning just earlier next time. But it's always more exciting when it kind of goes down to the final race, final few laps. It's more exciting for everyone, for you guys most of all. But I won ones that, again, people have dreamt of winning. There are some of the most incredible ones. The lap I did in Monaco in quali was the only other time, probably in the last 10 years, that I cried a little bit over something. Because there I proved myself wrong. It was one other moment this season that I proved myself wrong. Because I had that bad run of results. I just couldn't perform in qualifying. Qualifying has always been my strong suit, my best. Yeah, it's been my strength since I was in karting. All my qualifying results are my thing and they weren’t at the beginning of the season. So, when I went to the hardest track to do a qualifying lap in, I turned off my delta for the first time that weekend. So, I couldn't see if I was on a better lap, worse lap, whatever it was. It's not been my best track in the past. For me to then to go there and put that lap I put in at the end of qualifying was one of the best moments of my career in a way because it was the time I almost doubted myself the most ever. In the most important season that it turned out to be. So, but that one lap, 1 minute 9 seconds was all it needed for me to flip everything and turn that thought of ‘I just don't know if I got this’ to ‘oh, I can definitely do this.’ And that was a pivotal moment for me up here.”
2:03

“This year you won Monaco, you won Silverstone, and you won the World Championship. What else is there left to do?” Lando: “I mean, they're really the best ones. Just downhill from here. I would have loved to make my life a bit easier and winning just earlier next time. But it's always more exciting when it kind of goes down to the final race, final few laps. It's more exciting for everyone, for you guys most of all. But I won ones that, again, people have dreamt of winning. There are some of the most incredible ones. The lap I did in Monaco in quali was the only other time, probably in the last 10 years, that I cried a little bit over something. Because there I proved myself wrong. It was one other moment this season that I proved myself wrong. Because I had that bad run of results. I just couldn't perform in qualifying. Qualifying has always been my strong suit, my best. Yeah, it's been my strength since I was in karting. All my qualifying results are my thing and they weren’t at the beginning of the season. So, when I went to the hardest track to do a qualifying lap in, I turned off my delta for the first time that weekend. So, I couldn't see if I was on a better lap, worse lap, whatever it was. It's not been my best track in the past. For me to then to go there and put that lap I put in at the end of qualifying was one of the best moments of my career in a way because it was the time I almost doubted myself the most ever. In the most important season that it turned out to be. So, but that one lap, 1 minute 9 seconds was all it needed for me to flip everything and turn that thought of ‘I just don't know if I got this’ to ‘oh, I can definitely do this.’ And that was a pivotal moment for me up here.”

naenia ¹ ⁶³

48,545 views • 7 months ago

JD Vance: "My life is dude Totally transformed. I don't go to the grocery store anymore People go to the grocery store for me most of my meals like when I cook a meal It's like I love to cook actually a big baker I like to cook for my kids as a special occasion But I don't have to cook anymore because I've got an army of people who are willing to like cook me my food My life is so weird. I fly around on a 757 no more TSA lines for me and the kids It's so weird, but it can become the sort of thing that if you internalize it you start to be an entitled asshole."
0:36

JD Vance: "My life is dude Totally transformed. I don't go to the grocery store anymore People go to the grocery store for me most of my meals like when I cook a meal It's like I love to cook actually a big baker I like to cook for my kids as a special occasion But I don't have to cook anymore because I've got an army of people who are willing to like cook me my food My life is so weird. I fly around on a 757 no more TSA lines for me and the kids It's so weird, but it can become the sort of thing that if you internalize it you start to be an entitled asshole."

Simon Ateba

463,195 views • 6 days ago

𝙷𝙰𝙿𝙿𝚈 𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝚈𝙴𝙰𝚁!!! 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯 thank you for all the crazy amounts of support in the last year. I officially started streaming as Sym in feb 2025, but those who don't know, I used to be another streamer known as shiohh. And although I left on a good note with shio, I had been struggling a LOT behind the scenes with my mental health for a long time. Sym was my escape from reality by allowing myself to freely express how I was actually feeling at the time. Sad, lonely, out of touch, distant from the world etc. And although on shio, I looked like I was having a good time, I felt out of touch with myself and community. You may go and look up my previous self and think I had a lot of followers, however I struggled to make a connection with them, and it was obvious in my actual viewership. But with Sym, I feel a deep sense of connection and community, I feel seen, I feel heard, and I feel like MYSELF! 2025 was a year of self discovery, and you all really helped me with this, without you, there would be no me. the REAL me. So thank you so much for allowing me to be my true authentic self, and for enjoying who I really am. I love you all for sticking with me, and liking me Happy New Year I hope 2026 brings us so much luck, happiness and joy in the backrooms (..◜ᴗ◝..)♡♡♡
1:17

𝙷𝙰𝙿𝙿𝚈 𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝚈𝙴𝙰𝚁!!! 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯 thank you for all the crazy amounts of support in the last year. I officially started streaming as Sym in feb 2025, but those who don't know, I used to be another streamer known as shiohh. And although I left on a good note with shio, I had been struggling a LOT behind the scenes with my mental health for a long time. Sym was my escape from reality by allowing myself to freely express how I was actually feeling at the time. Sad, lonely, out of touch, distant from the world etc. And although on shio, I looked like I was having a good time, I felt out of touch with myself and community. You may go and look up my previous self and think I had a lot of followers, however I struggled to make a connection with them, and it was obvious in my actual viewership. But with Sym, I feel a deep sense of connection and community, I feel seen, I feel heard, and I feel like MYSELF! 2025 was a year of self discovery, and you all really helped me with this, without you, there would be no me. the REAL me. So thank you so much for allowing me to be my true authentic self, and for enjoying who I really am. I love you all for sticking with me, and liking me Happy New Year I hope 2026 brings us so much luck, happiness and joy in the backrooms (..◜ᴗ◝..)♡♡♡

𝒔𝒚𝒎𝒃𝒙𝒍 ₊˚⊹ ᰔ【 𝗩𝗩𝗲𝗯𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗲 】

12,295 views • 6 months ago

lando's sweet message to all his fans ❤️ "just thanks for taking your time to come support me, to cheer me on. genuinely, like my motivation in my racing career was once i want what's best for me and i want to win. and over the years, it really turned a lot more into i want to win for you, for my team, my supporters, my friends. it's a much, much better motivation when externally people are there to support you and cheer you on. and it makes me much happier, the fact that i get to make other people have a good time and hopefully party on sunday nights and those kind of things. like the fact you can bring happiness and joy to others is way better than just trying to bring it to yourself. so the last few years i learned that a lot more and therefore i get to enjoy all of my experiences with you guys that are in papaya and in my yellow as well. it's so much more fun for me to get to share those experiences. and as much as i'm world champion, we're all world champions together because you supported me in that journey."
1:13

lando's sweet message to all his fans ❤️ "just thanks for taking your time to come support me, to cheer me on. genuinely, like my motivation in my racing career was once i want what's best for me and i want to win. and over the years, it really turned a lot more into i want to win for you, for my team, my supporters, my friends. it's a much, much better motivation when externally people are there to support you and cheer you on. and it makes me much happier, the fact that i get to make other people have a good time and hopefully party on sunday nights and those kind of things. like the fact you can bring happiness and joy to others is way better than just trying to bring it to yourself. so the last few years i learned that a lot more and therefore i get to enjoy all of my experiences with you guys that are in papaya and in my yellow as well. it's so much more fun for me to get to share those experiences. and as much as i'm world champion, we're all world champions together because you supported me in that journey."

ray

16,076 views • 5 days ago

Guys, I really need to get a few words off my chest: The last year has left a noticeable mark on me. I had to fight my way back from severe depression and a severe anxiety disorder into a regular everyday routine. It was the worst and the lowest phase of my life and to this date I still haven't reached my point of recovery. BUT, if you had asked me a year ago where I would see myself today, I would never, under any circumstances have dreamed that I would be on stage at Furovision, hosted by NordicFuzzCon , singing in front of a gigantic audience and getting in second place. This result shows me once again that it is right not to give up hope and to enjoy life to the full, even if you are at a low point from which it seems hopeless to get out. Better times will come and that's what happened to me. And that's why my special thanks go to my husband who never gave up believing in me, to my friends and all the people who congratulated me on my performance, to all my content enjoyers and supporters on all platforms, and above all to the Furry Fandom in general. Without this fandom, I would just be a simple clerk with chronic back pain. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for enriching my life so much. I hope for many more great and exciting years in this fandom with you and with lots of fluff. 💙🦊
0:28

Guys, I really need to get a few words off my chest: The last year has left a noticeable mark on me. I had to fight my way back from severe depression and a severe anxiety disorder into a regular everyday routine. It was the worst and the lowest phase of my life and to this date I still haven't reached my point of recovery. BUT, if you had asked me a year ago where I would see myself today, I would never, under any circumstances have dreamed that I would be on stage at Furovision, hosted by NordicFuzzCon , singing in front of a gigantic audience and getting in second place. This result shows me once again that it is right not to give up hope and to enjoy life to the full, even if you are at a low point from which it seems hopeless to get out. Better times will come and that's what happened to me. And that's why my special thanks go to my husband who never gave up believing in me, to my friends and all the people who congratulated me on my performance, to all my content enjoyers and supporters on all platforms, and above all to the Furry Fandom in general. Without this fandom, I would just be a simple clerk with chronic back pain. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for enriching my life so much. I hope for many more great and exciting years in this fandom with you and with lots of fluff. 💙🦊

❄️ ꜱɪʟᴏ ᴛʜe ꜰᴏx 🔜 RFD, JP🎌

29,205 views • 1 year ago

Lady Gaga’s full speech at MAYHEM Ball LA night 1, where she talks about the city having her back and dedicates “Vanish Into You” to her two nieces at the show 🖤 “Before the show tonight, I had a chat with everybody backstage. I was like, it's Monday, I don't know what's gonna happen. You all fucking showed me! You came out here blazing, ready to go. L.A. has been a real interesting place in my life. Because I grew up in New York City. I grew up in New York and I moved out here when I was like 19 years old, and it was not always easy. I just want to say thank you for everybody in this room tonight. People didn't always believe in me out here. You believe in me so much tonight, thank you. You were always there for me. And so, like, I come out here every night and I always promise myself I'm gonna be really strong during this part. And I always lose it because I don't know how to say thank you in enough ways. I think it always just felt easier for me to put it in a song. But, community. My community, this community, our community. They're there for you even when it's tough or when you're at your lowest. That's why it's so special. Because you don't have to be on top for your community to love you, they will always love you. I hope you know everywhere around the world that I go, I will try to give every drop of my passion to the audience, inspired by all of you. That when I come out here and I see all that passion and all that love you have for me and for each other, it really makes me feel something so special. I hope that all year and all summer, that you feel my love. And just, I'll see you in 20 more years. I'll just keep coming back, is that ok? I would like to dedicate this next one, "Vanish To You", to my two nieces who are here tonight. They said this is their favourite song. So, I always dedicate this to the fans. But will you share it with them tonight? Can't do it without my family. One day I'll just vanish into each and every one of you, if that's ok”
3:25

Lady Gaga’s full speech at MAYHEM Ball LA night 1, where she talks about the city having her back and dedicates “Vanish Into You” to her two nieces at the show 🖤 “Before the show tonight, I had a chat with everybody backstage. I was like, it's Monday, I don't know what's gonna happen. You all fucking showed me! You came out here blazing, ready to go. L.A. has been a real interesting place in my life. Because I grew up in New York City. I grew up in New York and I moved out here when I was like 19 years old, and it was not always easy. I just want to say thank you for everybody in this room tonight. People didn't always believe in me out here. You believe in me so much tonight, thank you. You were always there for me. And so, like, I come out here every night and I always promise myself I'm gonna be really strong during this part. And I always lose it because I don't know how to say thank you in enough ways. I think it always just felt easier for me to put it in a song. But, community. My community, this community, our community. They're there for you even when it's tough or when you're at your lowest. That's why it's so special. Because you don't have to be on top for your community to love you, they will always love you. I hope you know everywhere around the world that I go, I will try to give every drop of my passion to the audience, inspired by all of you. That when I come out here and I see all that passion and all that love you have for me and for each other, it really makes me feel something so special. I hope that all year and all summer, that you feel my love. And just, I'll see you in 20 more years. I'll just keep coming back, is that ok? I would like to dedicate this next one, "Vanish To You", to my two nieces who are here tonight. They said this is their favourite song. So, I always dedicate this to the fans. But will you share it with them tonight? Can't do it without my family. One day I'll just vanish into each and every one of you, if that's ok”

Anthony 👹 Lady Gaga News

33,978 views • 11 months ago

"honestly, i don't think i'm very good at letting (my characters) go. once i take on a project, i end up doing it for about 8 to 10 months, and i feel like my way of speaking and habits from that time remain a bit. so even after a project wraps up, that character actually stays with me for a while. but when that happens, i try as much as possible not to do the things that the character used to do for 8 months. for example like a certain posture or things like that. and then i cut my hair from when i played that character to try and see a different image of myself too. but honestly, even if i cut my hair, that character doesn't really go away. so for me, honestly, rather than saying 'i'm letting them go', i just always cherish them and no matter what project i do in the future, i feel like there will still be moments where i think of that character. since i consider (those) moments to be a part of who i am too, i actually really like seeing those moments keep piling up within me."
1:07

"honestly, i don't think i'm very good at letting (my characters) go. once i take on a project, i end up doing it for about 8 to 10 months, and i feel like my way of speaking and habits from that time remain a bit. so even after a project wraps up, that character actually stays with me for a while. but when that happens, i try as much as possible not to do the things that the character used to do for 8 months. for example like a certain posture or things like that. and then i cut my hair from when i played that character to try and see a different image of myself too. but honestly, even if i cut my hair, that character doesn't really go away. so for me, honestly, rather than saying 'i'm letting them go', i just always cherish them and no matter what project i do in the future, i feel like there will still be moments where i think of that character. since i consider (those) moments to be a part of who i am too, i actually really like seeing those moments keep piling up within me."

j.

61,437 views • 1 month ago

it's my birthday. sometimes I feel like I'm 10 years behind in life. deep down I know that that this year will be the best and hardest year of my life but I gotta be honest the five folks who care for a minute. spent the past decade depressed, embarrassed that I wasn't more talented or more successful, guilt ridden for not being mature enough to handle life the way I would've liked when I was younger, keeping my head down trying to work on myself and trying to hone my skills to be a better storyteller. just years of telling myself I'm not good enough, telling myself I'm not old enough or lucky enough. telling myself who the fuck cares about what I do or create. like how the fuck can I do what so many others do. fuck off for even thinking you can do it stephen. I'm not a special person, I'm just a dude. some idiot. who has been in the film industry since I was a kid. an industry I left for a while because I needed to disconnect, I needed time to figure out my life after working since the second grade. needed to find my love and passion. and I did. which is making things for people to enjoy. but it hasn't been that simple. that pivot was like a hard reset. suddenly everything I'd ever achieved meant nothing. it's been a constant grind every day while trying to keep a roof over my head taking on retail jobs, service jobs, handyman gigs after leading shows and movies. and that's okay. like I've gotten clowned on it but you gotta make it work. in between all of that I've been lucky to work with huge brands, do stellar uncredited work on amazing flicks and slowly chip away on my own goals. for the past decade I haven't been able to sleep easily. can't turn off my brain. thinking about how I'm never doing enough for hours just in bed. telling myself maybe it'll be different tomorrow while hiding from the world making unhealthy decisions, not taking care of myself. a lot of times I do feel like I've missed out on my life, especially the past ten years. I've just been working. when I'm not working I'm working on the side with nothing to show for it. just endless chasing rent while being delusional about creating a better life. if you're not careful this kinda dream can suck the life out of you. you lose your passion for it. but I haven't. so much of me has just been waiting in the background of my own life, thinking there would be some moment of realization when I've worked on myself enough and I suddenly I feel like "oh I've got this." waited for that moment but it never came. don't think it ever will. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of thinking I'm not ready, I'm tired of telling myself I'm not good enough. it's not true. I won't give up. I won't give up on trying to entertain people. I won't give up on my dream of helping my friends fulfill their own. I never will. love and appreciate all of you for sticking with me and watching what I do and being here for me. 90% of my body is made of movies, games and soundtracks; so because I'm a cringe dork, I have meme'd for years that I feel like reclusive bruce wayne in the dark knight rises (but broke and less handsome) afflicted by failures unable to accept that my life can go on. but that's bullshit. maybe I needed an era to change and hurt and struggle and learn and become who I wanted to be. life comes and goes in eras. and I'm in my begins era now baby.
0:37

it's my birthday. sometimes I feel like I'm 10 years behind in life. deep down I know that that this year will be the best and hardest year of my life but I gotta be honest the five folks who care for a minute. spent the past decade depressed, embarrassed that I wasn't more talented or more successful, guilt ridden for not being mature enough to handle life the way I would've liked when I was younger, keeping my head down trying to work on myself and trying to hone my skills to be a better storyteller. just years of telling myself I'm not good enough, telling myself I'm not old enough or lucky enough. telling myself who the fuck cares about what I do or create. like how the fuck can I do what so many others do. fuck off for even thinking you can do it stephen. I'm not a special person, I'm just a dude. some idiot. who has been in the film industry since I was a kid. an industry I left for a while because I needed to disconnect, I needed time to figure out my life after working since the second grade. needed to find my love and passion. and I did. which is making things for people to enjoy. but it hasn't been that simple. that pivot was like a hard reset. suddenly everything I'd ever achieved meant nothing. it's been a constant grind every day while trying to keep a roof over my head taking on retail jobs, service jobs, handyman gigs after leading shows and movies. and that's okay. like I've gotten clowned on it but you gotta make it work. in between all of that I've been lucky to work with huge brands, do stellar uncredited work on amazing flicks and slowly chip away on my own goals. for the past decade I haven't been able to sleep easily. can't turn off my brain. thinking about how I'm never doing enough for hours just in bed. telling myself maybe it'll be different tomorrow while hiding from the world making unhealthy decisions, not taking care of myself. a lot of times I do feel like I've missed out on my life, especially the past ten years. I've just been working. when I'm not working I'm working on the side with nothing to show for it. just endless chasing rent while being delusional about creating a better life. if you're not careful this kinda dream can suck the life out of you. you lose your passion for it. but I haven't. so much of me has just been waiting in the background of my own life, thinking there would be some moment of realization when I've worked on myself enough and I suddenly I feel like "oh I've got this." waited for that moment but it never came. don't think it ever will. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of thinking I'm not ready, I'm tired of telling myself I'm not good enough. it's not true. I won't give up. I won't give up on trying to entertain people. I won't give up on my dream of helping my friends fulfill their own. I never will. love and appreciate all of you for sticking with me and watching what I do and being here for me. 90% of my body is made of movies, games and soundtracks; so because I'm a cringe dork, I have meme'd for years that I feel like reclusive bruce wayne in the dark knight rises (but broke and less handsome) afflicted by failures unable to accept that my life can go on. but that's bullshit. maybe I needed an era to change and hurt and struggle and learn and become who I wanted to be. life comes and goes in eras. and I'm in my begins era now baby.

Stephen Ford

30,074 views • 1 year ago

Retirement. 🥲 I wanted to get very VULNERABLE with my followers and friends on twitter. This was a VERY hard decision for me. I want to thank everyone that I've met in Valorant. It has come time for me to move on and pursue a different career path in the eSports realm of Valorant. To everyone that I've met, you guys have all helped me grow as an Individual and a player, whether you liked me or not, it built my thick skin. I am going to be moving on with my career, and stepping into the coaching side of things, while also finishing my AA in Kinesiology, and trying to get my degree in Sports Psychology. I really took the time to think, and had a great conversation with a close friend. And it's just TIME! I appreciate every SINGLE one of you! Love yall, Bryan "Shadyy" DeRouen.
7:50

Retirement. 🥲 I wanted to get very VULNERABLE with my followers and friends on twitter. This was a VERY hard decision for me. I want to thank everyone that I've met in Valorant. It has come time for me to move on and pursue a different career path in the eSports realm of Valorant. To everyone that I've met, you guys have all helped me grow as an Individual and a player, whether you liked me or not, it built my thick skin. I am going to be moving on with my career, and stepping into the coaching side of things, while also finishing my AA in Kinesiology, and trying to get my degree in Sports Psychology. I really took the time to think, and had a great conversation with a close friend. And it's just TIME! I appreciate every SINGLE one of you! Love yall, Bryan "Shadyy" DeRouen.

Bryan DeRouen

20,325 views • 2 years ago

🦊 Hi everyone it’s Yeonjun! Today is finally the day I, having gone through the period as a trainee, officially become an artist as Yeonjun from TXT~ 🦊 It’s such a happy and meaningful day for me, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a really long time I started training and dancing when I was in my third year of middle school and since then I’ve been growing my dream of becoming a singer. I’ve just been running towards it and before I knew it, 5 years had passed ! And today, that dream finally came true. It’s a moment I’ve longed for so desperately, one I’ve really been waiting for 🦊 Earlier, while filming, I kept thinking back as I watched myself on camera, it made me remember all the times I trained, pushed myself, went through evaluations with the members, worked hard and the effort I put into improving.. all of it just flashed through my mind at once The memories all passed through my mind like frames in a film and in the middle of it, I felt a strong swell of emotions in my heart and in the end, I couldn’t hold it in and it just burst out It was such an emotional and happy day for me 🦊 The tears I’ve shed up until now were a mix of desperation and the desire to achieve my dream but today after such a long time, I finally shed tears of joy. It feels like such a memorable day for me, one I’ll remember for the rest of my life It’s been such a meaningful day and I hope I can keep seeing our fans for a long time I’ve really missed everyone so much, but now, thinking that we’ll be able to see each other often for a long time makes me so excited and happy 🦊 And I’m also really grateful, you’ve waited for us for so long and I hope we can repay you with good songs and performances Thank you, thank you so much!
3:16

🦊 Hi everyone it’s Yeonjun! Today is finally the day I, having gone through the period as a trainee, officially become an artist as Yeonjun from TXT~ 🦊 It’s such a happy and meaningful day for me, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a really long time I started training and dancing when I was in my third year of middle school and since then I’ve been growing my dream of becoming a singer. I’ve just been running towards it and before I knew it, 5 years had passed ! And today, that dream finally came true. It’s a moment I’ve longed for so desperately, one I’ve really been waiting for 🦊 Earlier, while filming, I kept thinking back as I watched myself on camera, it made me remember all the times I trained, pushed myself, went through evaluations with the members, worked hard and the effort I put into improving.. all of it just flashed through my mind at once The memories all passed through my mind like frames in a film and in the middle of it, I felt a strong swell of emotions in my heart and in the end, I couldn’t hold it in and it just burst out It was such an emotional and happy day for me 🦊 The tears I’ve shed up until now were a mix of desperation and the desire to achieve my dream but today after such a long time, I finally shed tears of joy. It feels like such a memorable day for me, one I’ll remember for the rest of my life It’s been such a meaningful day and I hope I can keep seeing our fans for a long time I’ve really missed everyone so much, but now, thinking that we’ll be able to see each other often for a long time makes me so excited and happy 🦊 And I’m also really grateful, you’ve waited for us for so long and I hope we can repay you with good songs and performances Thank you, thank you so much!

Sara

59,854 views • 6 months ago

Its not often Im lost for words, but last night this stopped me in my tracks. Just over 3 years ago my content changed alot when I went sober and I got a lot of stick for my shift in direction. After spending years trying to get back to doing comedy, to suddenly change was terrifying. But, my social media, my characters, my jokes and my content has always been in some way a reflection of my life and my life became a battle for change, I embarked on the most difficult journey of my life, its still a constant struggle, but talking about what drink & drugs were doing to my mental health and my family helped me understand and share what I was going through. Through that process Ive lost friends and family, followers, brand deals, business and I get constant criticism and negative comments when I discuss certain things, it can be triggering and to be honest a bit annoying im sure. But, there is a core group of you that have stuck with me for the comedy and let me talk about mental health, sobriety and the darkness some of us face, and a few of you that are here for the sobriety stuff but put up with my jokes along the way, to all of you thank you…. But.. Every now and then I see a comment, or a message, or at one of my live show’s someone says something like “You saved my life” and it hits me, its worth sharing, its worth the shame, embarrassment and comments, its all been worth it, because every now and then it really helps someone feel like they aren’t alone. And can change. Thank you mate, thank you for telling me that. I needed to hear it. x
0:59

Its not often Im lost for words, but last night this stopped me in my tracks. Just over 3 years ago my content changed alot when I went sober and I got a lot of stick for my shift in direction. After spending years trying to get back to doing comedy, to suddenly change was terrifying. But, my social media, my characters, my jokes and my content has always been in some way a reflection of my life and my life became a battle for change, I embarked on the most difficult journey of my life, its still a constant struggle, but talking about what drink & drugs were doing to my mental health and my family helped me understand and share what I was going through. Through that process Ive lost friends and family, followers, brand deals, business and I get constant criticism and negative comments when I discuss certain things, it can be triggering and to be honest a bit annoying im sure. But, there is a core group of you that have stuck with me for the comedy and let me talk about mental health, sobriety and the darkness some of us face, and a few of you that are here for the sobriety stuff but put up with my jokes along the way, to all of you thank you…. But.. Every now and then I see a comment, or a message, or at one of my live show’s someone says something like “You saved my life” and it hits me, its worth sharing, its worth the shame, embarrassment and comments, its all been worth it, because every now and then it really helps someone feel like they aren’t alone. And can change. Thank you mate, thank you for telling me that. I needed to hear it. x

Daniel O’Reilly

155,189 views • 5 months ago

NS Rb: Thank you for remembering that it's been six years. Right now, this feels like the best day of my life. Starting all the way back from the VALORANT beta in 2020, I think I always viewed myself more as someone who was still learning. Honestly, I never really thought of myself as someone who could just guarantee that I was a great player. So from the members I played with starting in Vision Strikers through DRX up until 2023, I think I spent those three years learning. Then through that learning, when I went to TEC in VCT CN, I thought a lot about how to use what I had learned, not just in-game but also more broadly in life. And that eventually brought me here to Nongshim and to this moment. In the end, though, the result came down to learning, studying, teammates covering for one another, and most importantly, as obvious as it sounds, hard work. (via EndPoem)
4:26

NS Rb: Thank you for remembering that it's been six years. Right now, this feels like the best day of my life. Starting all the way back from the VALORANT beta in 2020, I think I always viewed myself more as someone who was still learning. Honestly, I never really thought of myself as someone who could just guarantee that I was a great player. So from the members I played with starting in Vision Strikers through DRX up until 2023, I think I spent those three years learning. Then through that learning, when I went to TEC in VCT CN, I thought a lot about how to use what I had learned, not just in-game but also more broadly in life. And that eventually brought me here to Nongshim and to this moment. In the end, though, the result came down to learning, studying, teammates covering for one another, and most importantly, as obvious as it sounds, hard work. (via EndPoem)

VALO2ASIA

58,285 views • 4 months ago

🦊 Hi, everyone. It’s Yeonjun! Today is finally the day I’ve officially become an idol as a member of TXT after my trainee days!! 🦊 It’s such a happy and meaningful day for me. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a really long time 🦊 I started training and dancing when I was in my third year of middle school and since then, I’ve been growing my dream of becoming a singer. I’ve just been running towards it and before I knew it, five years had passed! 🦊 And today, I finally made that dream come true! It’s a moment I’ve wanted so badly, one I’ve really been waiting for 🦊 Earlier while filming, I was watching the broadcast and memories of practicing, working hard with the members, and going through evaluations all just started flooding back 🦊 They all passed through my mind like frames in a film and I kept getting choked up here and there 🦊 In the end, I couldn’t hold it in and ended up crying. Today was such an emotional and joyful day for me. The tears I’ve shed up until now were mixed with desperation and the desire to achieve my dream 🦊 But today, after such a long time, I finally shed tears of joy. Today feels like such a historic day for me, one I’ll remember for the rest of my life 🦊 It’s been such a meaningful day and I hope I can keep seeing our fans for a long time 🦊 I’ve missed you all so much. And now that I can see you more often and for a long time, I feel so excited and happy. Thank you so much. You waited so long for us 🦊 I hope we can repay you with great songs and performances. Thank you Thank you so much!
3:16

🦊 Hi, everyone. It’s Yeonjun! Today is finally the day I’ve officially become an idol as a member of TXT after my trainee days!! 🦊 It’s such a happy and meaningful day for me. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a really long time 🦊 I started training and dancing when I was in my third year of middle school and since then, I’ve been growing my dream of becoming a singer. I’ve just been running towards it and before I knew it, five years had passed! 🦊 And today, I finally made that dream come true! It’s a moment I’ve wanted so badly, one I’ve really been waiting for 🦊 Earlier while filming, I was watching the broadcast and memories of practicing, working hard with the members, and going through evaluations all just started flooding back 🦊 They all passed through my mind like frames in a film and I kept getting choked up here and there 🦊 In the end, I couldn’t hold it in and ended up crying. Today was such an emotional and joyful day for me. The tears I’ve shed up until now were mixed with desperation and the desire to achieve my dream 🦊 But today, after such a long time, I finally shed tears of joy. Today feels like such a historic day for me, one I’ll remember for the rest of my life 🦊 It’s been such a meaningful day and I hope I can keep seeing our fans for a long time 🦊 I’ve missed you all so much. And now that I can see you more often and for a long time, I feel so excited and happy. Thank you so much. You waited so long for us 🦊 I hope we can repay you with great songs and performances. Thank you Thank you so much!

Sara

76,616 views • 1 year ago

•042226• new interview of #zhanglinghe with Movie News💬 "in my daily life, I don't wear makeup unless I'm on screen or there's a need for it. not wearing makeup is the most comfortable thing for me. the most special thing about this documentary for me is that everyone can see a completely different side of me than what you usually see on screen. it's also me just being myself, the most real version of me, my real face, and my most natural behavior. a lot of the time, people get to know me through the characters I play, but at the same time, I am also confined by those roles. so in this process, I also need to show some of my true self, so that people can see what I'm actually like behind those roles, what kind of person I am in real life, and that there are qualities in me that audiences can relate to, admire, and appreciate. that is the most authentic version of me."
0:52

•042226• new interview of #zhanglinghe with Movie News💬 "in my daily life, I don't wear makeup unless I'm on screen or there's a need for it. not wearing makeup is the most comfortable thing for me. the most special thing about this documentary for me is that everyone can see a completely different side of me than what you usually see on screen. it's also me just being myself, the most real version of me, my real face, and my most natural behavior. a lot of the time, people get to know me through the characters I play, but at the same time, I am also confined by those roles. so in this process, I also need to show some of my true self, so that people can see what I'm actually like behind those roles, what kind of person I am in real life, and that there are qualities in me that audiences can relate to, admire, and appreciate. that is the most authentic version of me."

张凌赫的小核桃𖹭

24,860 views • 2 months ago