I did not write this old Scottish joke and take no responsibility for it. But here it is anyway.

On a weekly basis, I go back and watch reruns of your shows. With all of the craziness in the world right now, we need more and more laughs. Thank you for bringing me to tears while laughing each time. Keep doing what you are doing!

Hey Craig. What's the difference between wearing a kilt and sporting a mini skirt? Well Craig when you wear a kilt it's considered manly and sexy by some. But when you wear a miniskirt, you'd be seen as a cross dresser or even a trans-sexual. Manly or trans-sexual? #Sexynotsexy

I should know, my husband is a piper.

Reporter: Who does the history books credit for this Mr. President, you or Trump? Biden: Is that a joke? ... ... ... Thank you.

What are they wearing under there? Nothing! Nothing’s moving! As told to me by a group of inebriated Scotsmen. They thought it was hilarious.

@Baddiel My wife's favourite joke? Me.

Late Night TV DIED when you left! YouTube clips STILL make me laugh! YOU would make a GREAT Doctor! Doctor? Doctor Who? Peter Capaldi will ALWAYS be my FAVE! RIP Grant Imahara. BALLS! ✌️🤘