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Jordan Peterson on why social anxiety is really a self-focus problem: Dr Jordan B Peterson explains that social anxiety is fundamentally driven by excessive self-referential thinking. "If you're feeling social anxiety in a situation, part of the reason for that is because you're thinking about how you're feeling." He... points to fascinating research on language patterns and mental health. When you analyze the words people use in speech and writing, a striking pattern emerges: the more someone refers to themselves, the more likely they are to be depressed or psychotic. "You can actually distinguish with 75% accuracy between people who are clinically depressed or clinically psychotic and people who aren't by the number of times they refer to themselves." The core insight is simple but powerful: "The more you think about yourself, the more miserable you are." But Peterson warns against the obvious trap in trying to fix this. You can't just tell yourself to stop thinking about yourself. That's still thinking about yourself, and you'll fall into the same pit. Instead, he offers a practical redirect: "If what you decide to do is to pay way more attention to the other person and try to make them comfortable, then that social anxiety will disappear." The solution is a redirection. Rather than fighting your own self-consciousness, you shift your entire attention outward. Make the people around you more comfortable. Focus on them, not on how you're coming across. It's a counterintuitive reframe: the cure for feeling awkward is caring less about your own performance and more about the person in front of you.show more

Kevin Tanaka

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108,673 просмотров • 4 месяцев назад •via X (Twitter)

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Jordan Peterson on how to easily overcome social anxiety: 1. Social anxiety is not shyness. When you walk into a social situation, your brain registers it as a dominance hierarchy that is judging you. A negative judgment means low status. Low status interferes with everything your biology cares about. You are not being irrational. You are being evaluated by something that feels like nature itself, and your nervous system knows it. 2. Telling an anxious person to stop thinking about themselves does not work. You cannot tell someone to stop thinking about something. They get caught in the loop. Stop thinking about a white elephant. white elephant. white elephant. The instruction makes it worse. The only way out is to give the brain something else to do. 3. The actual solution is to look at other people. not glance. Genuinely look. Watch their face. Track what they are thinking. The moment you focus outward, your automatic social mechanisms engage, and the awkwardness dissolves on its own. You cannot be socially calibrated and self-focused at the same time. Attention can only go in one direction. 4. When speaking to a group, never try to address the group. It does not exist as a thing you can talk to. Find one person, look at them directly, and talk to that person. They will reflect the entire room back to you because everyone is entrained to the same social signal. If you can talk to one person, you can talk to anyone. 5. The eye at the top of the pyramid, the thing the Egyptians worshipped as Horus, is attention itself. What you pay attention to determines everything. The most important thing to look at is whatever your instincts flag as slightly wrong or off. That is where the real information is. Your enemies are useful for the same reason. They will tell you things about yourself that nobody else will, and occasionally one of those things will be accurate.

Jordan Peterson on how to easily overcome social anxiety: 1. Social anxiety is not shyness. When you walk into a social situation, your brain registers it as a dominance hierarchy that is judging you. A negative judgment means low status. Low status interferes with everything your biology cares about. You are not being irrational. You are being evaluated by something that feels like nature itself, and your nervous system knows it. 2. Telling an anxious person to stop thinking about themselves does not work. You cannot tell someone to stop thinking about something. They get caught in the loop. Stop thinking about a white elephant. white elephant. white elephant. The instruction makes it worse. The only way out is to give the brain something else to do. 3. The actual solution is to look at other people. not glance. Genuinely look. Watch their face. Track what they are thinking. The moment you focus outward, your automatic social mechanisms engage, and the awkwardness dissolves on its own. You cannot be socially calibrated and self-focused at the same time. Attention can only go in one direction. 4. When speaking to a group, never try to address the group. It does not exist as a thing you can talk to. Find one person, look at them directly, and talk to that person. They will reflect the entire room back to you because everyone is entrained to the same social signal. If you can talk to one person, you can talk to anyone. 5. The eye at the top of the pyramid, the thing the Egyptians worshipped as Horus, is attention itself. What you pay attention to determines everything. The most important thing to look at is whatever your instincts flag as slightly wrong or off. That is where the real information is. Your enemies are useful for the same reason. They will tell you things about yourself that nobody else will, and occasionally one of those things will be accurate.

Jaynit

668,674 просмотров • 1 месяц назад

Jordan Peterson breaks down how to shut off social anxiety the moment you walk in: "You go to a party, your heart's beating. Why? The party is a monster. Why? Because it's judging you. It's putting you low down the dominance hierarchy, because that's what a negative judgment is" "That interferes with your sexual success, and that means you're being harshly evaluated by nature itself. So you're confronting the dragon of chaos when you go into the social situation" "And what do you do? You hunch over, and that's low dominance. I'm no threat. Well, that's not going to get you very far. But it's a logical thing to do in the face of a tyrant. You look at the king and you're dead. I'm no threat, I'm hunched over" "And then what's happening internally? What are people thinking about me? Am I looking stupid? Am I looking foolish? I'm awkward. I hate being here. I'm sweating too much. It's all internalized, it's all self-focused" "You can't tell someone to stop thinking about something, because they get caught in the loop. It's like don't think of a white elephant. White elephant, white elephant, white elephant" "What you do with socially anxious people is you say, look at other people. Look at them. Because if you look at them, you can tell what they're thinking" "If you're ever speaking to a group of people, never speak to the group of people. That doesn't exist. You talk to individuals, and then they reflect for you the entire group, because they're all entrained. You look at one person and they broadcast you everyone's thinking" "As soon as you focus on the person, not you, you push your attention outward and you start watching. Well then all your automatic mechanisms kick in and you stop being awkward" "If we're talking and I'm looking over here, I don't know what you're going to do next, and I'm going to put disjunctions in, like bad chords in the melody of our conversation. And the reason is I'm not paying attention" "That's why the eye is the thing at the top of the pyramid. It's the thing that enables you to win the set of all possible dominance hierarchies"

Jordan Peterson breaks down how to shut off social anxiety the moment you walk in: "You go to a party, your heart's beating. Why? The party is a monster. Why? Because it's judging you. It's putting you low down the dominance hierarchy, because that's what a negative judgment is" "That interferes with your sexual success, and that means you're being harshly evaluated by nature itself. So you're confronting the dragon of chaos when you go into the social situation" "And what do you do? You hunch over, and that's low dominance. I'm no threat. Well, that's not going to get you very far. But it's a logical thing to do in the face of a tyrant. You look at the king and you're dead. I'm no threat, I'm hunched over" "And then what's happening internally? What are people thinking about me? Am I looking stupid? Am I looking foolish? I'm awkward. I hate being here. I'm sweating too much. It's all internalized, it's all self-focused" "You can't tell someone to stop thinking about something, because they get caught in the loop. It's like don't think of a white elephant. White elephant, white elephant, white elephant" "What you do with socially anxious people is you say, look at other people. Look at them. Because if you look at them, you can tell what they're thinking" "If you're ever speaking to a group of people, never speak to the group of people. That doesn't exist. You talk to individuals, and then they reflect for you the entire group, because they're all entrained. You look at one person and they broadcast you everyone's thinking" "As soon as you focus on the person, not you, you push your attention outward and you start watching. Well then all your automatic mechanisms kick in and you stop being awkward" "If we're talking and I'm looking over here, I don't know what you're going to do next, and I'm going to put disjunctions in, like bad chords in the melody of our conversation. And the reason is I'm not paying attention" "That's why the eye is the thing at the top of the pyramid. It's the thing that enables you to win the set of all possible dominance hierarchies"

Johan

247,498 просмотров • 21 дней назад

Mark Zuckerberg on why the people you surround yourself with matter more than you think "The most important decision you're probably going to make if you're in college is who you surround yourself with, because you become like the people you surround yourself with" "When you're in college trying to figure out what your circle is going to be, or evaluating different job opportunities... who are the people, even if they're peers, who in an alternate universe you would want to work for?" "Because you think you're going to learn a lot from them, because they're values-aligned on the things you care about, and they're going to push you. They know different things and have different experiences that are more of what you want to become like over time" "I think in general people are too obsessed and maybe not focused enough on the connections and the people who they're building relationships with"

Mark Zuckerberg on why the people you surround yourself with matter more than you think "The most important decision you're probably going to make if you're in college is who you surround yourself with, because you become like the people you surround yourself with" "When you're in college trying to figure out what your circle is going to be, or evaluating different job opportunities... who are the people, even if they're peers, who in an alternate universe you would want to work for?" "Because you think you're going to learn a lot from them, because they're values-aligned on the things you care about, and they're going to push you. They know different things and have different experiences that are more of what you want to become like over time" "I think in general people are too obsessed and maybe not focused enough on the connections and the people who they're building relationships with"

Jaynit

26,918 просмотров • 9 дней назад

The best piece of advice I ever got came from my grandmother. What other people think about you is none of your business. It sounds simple, but it is genuinely hard to live by because we're social creatures and we want to be liked. The moment you start caring about that less, you become your actual self. And those other people you're so worried about are mostly thinking about themselves anyway. So relax. Be yourself.

The best piece of advice I ever got came from my grandmother. What other people think about you is none of your business. It sounds simple, but it is genuinely hard to live by because we're social creatures and we want to be liked. The moment you start caring about that less, you become your actual self. And those other people you're so worried about are mostly thinking about themselves anyway. So relax. Be yourself.

Anthony Scaramucci

34,805 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

Jordan Peterson had a client who couldn’t have coffee with him. Very introverted. Very badly served by her parents. Not well socialized. Extremely socially anxious. Awkward in her interactions. Now she does public appearances on stage. He spent 2 minutes explaining what changed: "Get the hell out there and practice, man." "Go to Toastmasters. Do some public speaking. Join meetup(.com)." Here's the counterintuitive part: "Don't try to stop being nervous. Because that isn't gonna work." "What you have to do is start paying more attention to the other person." "Force your attention outward." When you're nervous, your instinct is to think about yourself. "You get self-conscious. You start thinking about yourself and how stupid you are." "That's a really bad idea." "You should be paying attention to the other person." Here's what to do instead: "Ask people questions. Listen to them. When they say something interesting or something you don't understand, ask them a question." "People love that, man. Because they know you're listening to them." "And people love being listened to." "So if you're nervous, learn to listen better. Learn to ask questions." On asking "stupid" questions: "There's no stupid questions if you're paying attention." "If you don't know something and you ask an honest question and someone treats you badly because of it, you should just go away from that person." "Because they don't have a clue." Here's the summary: "Get out there. Forget about trying to not be nervous. Because you're gonna be nervous." "But when you're nervous, pay more attention to other people. Listen to them carefully. Watch them." "Your natural social abilities will kick in." "Ask them questions." On timeline: "Assume it'll take you three or four years to get decently good at it." "And that you really have to work at it." "But it's worth it, man." "Just go out there and do it. You'll figure it out."

Jordan Peterson had a client who couldn’t have coffee with him. Very introverted. Very badly served by her parents. Not well socialized. Extremely socially anxious. Awkward in her interactions. Now she does public appearances on stage. He spent 2 minutes explaining what changed: "Get the hell out there and practice, man." "Go to Toastmasters. Do some public speaking. Join meetup(.com)." Here's the counterintuitive part: "Don't try to stop being nervous. Because that isn't gonna work." "What you have to do is start paying more attention to the other person." "Force your attention outward." When you're nervous, your instinct is to think about yourself. "You get self-conscious. You start thinking about yourself and how stupid you are." "That's a really bad idea." "You should be paying attention to the other person." Here's what to do instead: "Ask people questions. Listen to them. When they say something interesting or something you don't understand, ask them a question." "People love that, man. Because they know you're listening to them." "And people love being listened to." "So if you're nervous, learn to listen better. Learn to ask questions." On asking "stupid" questions: "There's no stupid questions if you're paying attention." "If you don't know something and you ask an honest question and someone treats you badly because of it, you should just go away from that person." "Because they don't have a clue." Here's the summary: "Get out there. Forget about trying to not be nervous. Because you're gonna be nervous." "But when you're nervous, pay more attention to other people. Listen to them carefully. Watch them." "Your natural social abilities will kick in." "Ask them questions." On timeline: "Assume it'll take you three or four years to get decently good at it." "And that you really have to work at it." "But it's worth it, man." "Just go out there and do it. You'll figure it out."

Jaynit

323,221 просмотров • 3 месяцев назад

Tony Robbins on the three questions that reveal why you're unhappy: "People don't experience life, they experience the life they focus on. If you're happy, you are deleting all the things you could be pissed off about. If you're unhappy, you're deleting all the things that are great in your life. Our brains delete and distort and generalize, so if you don't direct it, you get whatever shows up" "What's wrong is always available. What's right is also available. It's just which one you pick. And it isn't about positive thinking. I've never been into positive thinking. I believe in intelligence, because when you're in a lousy state of mind, you treat people poorly, you don't perform, you're not happy" "There are three decisions you're making every moment of your life. The first one is what are you going to focus on. If you're supposed to meet someone at 7 o'clock and it's 7:30 and they haven't called, some people are pissed off, some people are worried. It's the same event. Whether you're angry or worried had nothing to do with the event, it's the habits of your mind" "Do you tend to focus more on what you have or what's missing? Do you focus more on what you can control or what you can't? Do you focus more on the past, the present, or the future?" "If you constantly look at what's missing, it's hard to ever stay fulfilled. If you focus on what you can't control, you're overwhelmed and stressed. And if you focus on the past, which you can't change, that makes you angry or sad or frustrated. If you focus on what you have, you're going to be more fulfilled" "Instead of saying I want a New Year's resolution, another rule for myself, I need to change the ruler. A lot of times we don't even see that we're the ruler"

Tony Robbins on the three questions that reveal why you're unhappy: "People don't experience life, they experience the life they focus on. If you're happy, you are deleting all the things you could be pissed off about. If you're unhappy, you're deleting all the things that are great in your life. Our brains delete and distort and generalize, so if you don't direct it, you get whatever shows up" "What's wrong is always available. What's right is also available. It's just which one you pick. And it isn't about positive thinking. I've never been into positive thinking. I believe in intelligence, because when you're in a lousy state of mind, you treat people poorly, you don't perform, you're not happy" "There are three decisions you're making every moment of your life. The first one is what are you going to focus on. If you're supposed to meet someone at 7 o'clock and it's 7:30 and they haven't called, some people are pissed off, some people are worried. It's the same event. Whether you're angry or worried had nothing to do with the event, it's the habits of your mind" "Do you tend to focus more on what you have or what's missing? Do you focus more on what you can control or what you can't? Do you focus more on the past, the present, or the future?" "If you constantly look at what's missing, it's hard to ever stay fulfilled. If you focus on what you can't control, you're overwhelmed and stressed. And if you focus on the past, which you can't change, that makes you angry or sad or frustrated. If you focus on what you have, you're going to be more fulfilled" "Instead of saying I want a New Year's resolution, another rule for myself, I need to change the ruler. A lot of times we don't even see that we're the ruler"

Jaynit

274,889 просмотров • 15 дней назад

3. "Me is a disease" The more self-obsessed you are, the less happy you're going to be. How to fix it? The happiest people are those who love something more than themselves. • God • Sports • Family So, do the same. Find something you love more than just yourself.

3. "Me is a disease" The more self-obsessed you are, the less happy you're going to be. How to fix it? The happiest people are those who love something more than themselves. • God • Sports • Family So, do the same. Find something you love more than just yourself.

Mathew Bowyer

145,817 просмотров • 1 год назад

Jordan Peterson: "If you're competent and silent you will be ignored." "You might think well people should reward you because you're competent. And yes of course they should. But if you're competent and silent then you're just part of the background that's keeping everything functioning" On why you cannot negotiate from a position of weakness: "If you want to push your career forward you have to push it forward. You have to be competent and you have to be strategic" "To be strategic when you negotiate for a new position or a new salary you have to be able to say if you don't give me what I want then something you don't like will happen to you" "It's not a physical threat. It's that you have an option" "You have your CV in order. You're educated and competent and desirable to people outside of your immediate job. You're willing to instantly put yourself on the job market" "So that when you go talk to the person you're negotiating with you're credible" On the one thing most people completely miss about negotiation: "It's very seldom that you're talking to the person who's at the top of the pecking order. What you need to do is tell them a story that they can tell to their boss to make you not a problem" "A good story is look we really need this person because they're hyper competent and they have a better offer" "If you go in there with no power you're going to lose. Obviously" He concludes with the one thing every competent person needs to hear: "The first thing you need to know if you're going to negotiate is that you have to be able to say no. And what no means is that you're not going to do it"

Jordan Peterson: "If you're competent and silent you will be ignored." "You might think well people should reward you because you're competent. And yes of course they should. But if you're competent and silent then you're just part of the background that's keeping everything functioning" On why you cannot negotiate from a position of weakness: "If you want to push your career forward you have to push it forward. You have to be competent and you have to be strategic" "To be strategic when you negotiate for a new position or a new salary you have to be able to say if you don't give me what I want then something you don't like will happen to you" "It's not a physical threat. It's that you have an option" "You have your CV in order. You're educated and competent and desirable to people outside of your immediate job. You're willing to instantly put yourself on the job market" "So that when you go talk to the person you're negotiating with you're credible" On the one thing most people completely miss about negotiation: "It's very seldom that you're talking to the person who's at the top of the pecking order. What you need to do is tell them a story that they can tell to their boss to make you not a problem" "A good story is look we really need this person because they're hyper competent and they have a better offer" "If you go in there with no power you're going to lose. Obviously" He concludes with the one thing every competent person needs to hear: "The first thing you need to know if you're going to negotiate is that you have to be able to say no. And what no means is that you're not going to do it"

Brad

34,669 просмотров • 9 дней назад

Jordan Peterson on why self-esteem is a myth and what actually builds real confidence. Most people spend years trying to feel better about themselves. They repeat affirmations. They journal their wins. They work on their "self-esteem." Peterson says that's the wrong target entirely. "Self-esteem… doesn't even exist by the way. It's just a pathological concept altogether." What you actually want is confidence. And not just any confidence, confidence grounded in competence. Otherwise, he says, it's just narcissism. So how do you build it? Not by changing what you say about yourself. Not by adjusting your self-talk or telling yourself you're capable. Those are surface-level fixes. The real mechanism is simpler and more demanding. "You watch yourself exceed your limits and then you think, 'Oh, look at that. There's something in me that can exceed my limits. That's your true self.'" Confidence is earned from the inside out through repeated experience of actually doing hard things. Dr Jordan B Peterson draws an interesting parallel. If you watch a friend making small, consistent improvements over time, you don't feel contempt, you feel admiration. Even if part of you is jealous, the healthy response is recognition: that's admirable.

Jordan Peterson on why self-esteem is a myth and what actually builds real confidence. Most people spend years trying to feel better about themselves. They repeat affirmations. They journal their wins. They work on their "self-esteem." Peterson says that's the wrong target entirely. "Self-esteem… doesn't even exist by the way. It's just a pathological concept altogether." What you actually want is confidence. And not just any confidence, confidence grounded in competence. Otherwise, he says, it's just narcissism. So how do you build it? Not by changing what you say about yourself. Not by adjusting your self-talk or telling yourself you're capable. Those are surface-level fixes. The real mechanism is simpler and more demanding. "You watch yourself exceed your limits and then you think, 'Oh, look at that. There's something in me that can exceed my limits. That's your true self.'" Confidence is earned from the inside out through repeated experience of actually doing hard things. Dr Jordan B Peterson draws an interesting parallel. If you watch a friend making small, consistent improvements over time, you don't feel contempt, you feel admiration. Even if part of you is jealous, the healthy response is recognition: that's admirable.

Kevin Tanaka

60,235 просмотров • 3 месяцев назад

[Talking about self-worth and insecurities] 👨🏻‍🚀: I want everyone who has ever felt like they weren't pretty, they weren't attractive, they weren't good looking, they weren't strong enough, they had insecurities, or that they might feel like they're exploding from overthinking. And I'm not talking about one of these six, i'm talking about all of them. If you have ever had a situation where felt all six of these, I want you guys to type 1 into the chat. 👨🏻‍🚀: So, the point of that experiment wasn't to invalidate what you're feeling, because you're valid for feeling that. I think that is a common human emotion that we all have a problem we're dealing with. Our insecurities are the things that make us lash out, make us feel like we're not enough. And the thing about it, is no matter how rich you are, no matter how handsome you are, no matter how pretty you are, no matter how strong you are, no matter how great you are, no matter how intelligent you are, no matter how competent you are, there's always gonna be moments where this comes to you and I think the best thing to think in this situation is that yes i'm feeling this things, to validate yourself. You're not wrong for feeling this way. There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone feels this. 👨🏻‍🚀: But, during those times, i think it is very important to remember the moments in your life where you did feel worthy. Where you felt like you were just enough for that one person that you're talking to. Or you felt like you aced in a certain exam or you did really well in one thing. I think you remember those moments and then you push on for more of those moments so that eventually, in your life, you stop thinking about things that- or situation that made you think you're not worthy and start pondering more , recycling more of things that made you feel worthy. yunamseng?

[Talking about self-worth and insecurities] 👨🏻‍🚀: I want everyone who has ever felt like they weren't pretty, they weren't attractive, they weren't good looking, they weren't strong enough, they had insecurities, or that they might feel like they're exploding from overthinking. And I'm not talking about one of these six, i'm talking about all of them. If you have ever had a situation where felt all six of these, I want you guys to type 1 into the chat. 👨🏻‍🚀: So, the point of that experiment wasn't to invalidate what you're feeling, because you're valid for feeling that. I think that is a common human emotion that we all have a problem we're dealing with. Our insecurities are the things that make us lash out, make us feel like we're not enough. And the thing about it, is no matter how rich you are, no matter how handsome you are, no matter how pretty you are, no matter how strong you are, no matter how great you are, no matter how intelligent you are, no matter how competent you are, there's always gonna be moments where this comes to you and I think the best thing to think in this situation is that yes i'm feeling this things, to validate yourself. You're not wrong for feeling this way. There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone feels this. 👨🏻‍🚀: But, during those times, i think it is very important to remember the moments in your life where you did feel worthy. Where you felt like you were just enough for that one person that you're talking to. Or you felt like you aced in a certain exam or you did really well in one thing. I think you remember those moments and then you push on for more of those moments so that eventually, in your life, you stop thinking about things that- or situation that made you think you're not worthy and start pondering more , recycling more of things that made you feel worthy. yunamseng?

nad

32,990 просмотров • 10 месяцев назад

Watch this game-changing dissertation on "expert writing." Expert writers write to "think" about the world. 99% of experts write and think at the same time. They use the writing process to help themselves think. This is how they do their best thinking. Write to think about the world. Do this because you care, because you want to be part of progress, because you want to make a dent in the universe. Write to inspire and influence. And when you are finished writing, and you click publish, think about your work this way... the intent of your text is to cause readers to change the way they think about the world. Engagement metrics don't really matter in comparison. Whether or not your text is valuable, depends on whether or not your readers perceive that you have valuably changed what they think, or what they do, or how they decide. One of the reasons it's so hard for smart people to write well is because they don't write to change the way people think about the world. They write to complete a project, to earn a grade, to be assessed. Or they write to publish *their* thoughts without going through a mental and soulful exercise of writing to think about the world, without writing to change how people think about the world. Write to think about the world. Change how people think about the world. In an era of #GenerativeAI, content isn't the end game. Your goal isn't just to get someone's attention, generate reactions, or show up in search. Your mission is to change how people think about the world. Change How People Think About the World. Thank you, Larry McEnerney (now-retired former Director of the University of Chicago's Writing Program).

Watch this game-changing dissertation on "expert writing." Expert writers write to "think" about the world. 99% of experts write and think at the same time. They use the writing process to help themselves think. This is how they do their best thinking. Write to think about the world. Do this because you care, because you want to be part of progress, because you want to make a dent in the universe. Write to inspire and influence. And when you are finished writing, and you click publish, think about your work this way... the intent of your text is to cause readers to change the way they think about the world. Engagement metrics don't really matter in comparison. Whether or not your text is valuable, depends on whether or not your readers perceive that you have valuably changed what they think, or what they do, or how they decide. One of the reasons it's so hard for smart people to write well is because they don't write to change the way people think about the world. They write to complete a project, to earn a grade, to be assessed. Or they write to publish their thoughts without going through a mental and soulful exercise of writing to think about the world, without writing to change how people think about the world. Write to think about the world. Change how people think about the world. In an era of #GenerativeAI, content isn't the end game. Your goal isn't just to get someone's attention, generate reactions, or show up in search. Your mission is to change how people think about the world. Change How People Think About the World. Thank you, Larry McEnerney (now-retired former Director of the University of Chicago's Writing Program).

Brian Solis

113,710 просмотров • 3 лет назад

"Allowing People to Diminish You is a Violent Act Against Yourself" Keke Palmer: Oprah, what is the single biggest mistake people make in their relationships with others? Oprah Winfrey: You are abusing yourself if you allow other people to be in your life to diminish you. You are punishing yourself it is a violent act against yourself to allow other people in your life to diminish you and not lift you and exalt you. Keke Palmer: Wow... that hits so deep. Oprah Winfrey: If you don't have people who see you for the light that you are, for the joy that you are, for the goodness that you bring... you are with the wrong people! I don't care how that shows up in your life. The reason that person keeps showing up in your life is for you to make the change. You can't change them. Keke Palmer: Absolutely. It’s like guiding yourself back to your own power rather than waiting for someone else to change. Oprah Winfrey: Exactly. You have had the power all along—you just have to remember it.

"Allowing People to Diminish You is a Violent Act Against Yourself" Keke Palmer: Oprah, what is the single biggest mistake people make in their relationships with others? Oprah Winfrey: You are abusing yourself if you allow other people to be in your life to diminish you. You are punishing yourself it is a violent act against yourself to allow other people in your life to diminish you and not lift you and exalt you. Keke Palmer: Wow... that hits so deep. Oprah Winfrey: If you don't have people who see you for the light that you are, for the joy that you are, for the goodness that you bring... you are with the wrong people! I don't care how that shows up in your life. The reason that person keeps showing up in your life is for you to make the change. You can't change them. Keke Palmer: Absolutely. It’s like guiding yourself back to your own power rather than waiting for someone else to change. Oprah Winfrey: Exactly. You have had the power all along—you just have to remember it.

FlickHub

26,297 просмотров • 22 дней назад

Andrew Huberman on why you can't think your way out of stress: Huberman is asked what he means when he says you cannot control the mind with the mind. His answer reframes how we should approach stress, anxiety, and emotional regulation entirely. "If you're very upset, it's hard to talk yourself out of it. If you're stressed, it's hard to think yourself out of it." He explains that when we're in heightened emotional states, we tend to default to mental strategies, rationalizing, "third personing" ourselves, texting a friend, trying to reason our way back to calm. But according to Andrew D. Huberman, Ph.D., this rarely works: "It's very hard to get yourself out of those states with thinking alone." The solution, he argues, lies not in the mind but in the body. "The beauty of the autonomic nervous system is that it traverses the brain and the body and it connects to essentially all the organs of the body. And it's a two-way street such that certain behaviors, even certain patterns of breathing etc. allow us to shift between very very alert and stressed and very calm." This two-way street is the key insight. The body doesn't just receive signals from the brain, it also sends them back. Shifting your physiology shifts your mental state, which in turn shifts the kinds of thoughts and actions available to you. "If you're very very stressed, you're very very upset, two things happen. One, it's very hard to take your focus off whatever it is that's upsetting you. And if you don't know what's upsetting you, you know, pure anxiety, but you don't know why, it's very hard to take your mind off of the feelings of anxiety." In other words, anxiety hijacks your attention and then traps you there. Trying to think your way out only tightens the grip. The way out is to move through the body first: "If we turn to the body and certain behaviors, we are able to move ourselves along the autonomic continuum. And at that point, when we've done that successfully, we are able to think about things differently." "If you can't control the mind with the mind, look to the body to control the mind."

Andrew Huberman on why you can't think your way out of stress: Huberman is asked what he means when he says you cannot control the mind with the mind. His answer reframes how we should approach stress, anxiety, and emotional regulation entirely. "If you're very upset, it's hard to talk yourself out of it. If you're stressed, it's hard to think yourself out of it." He explains that when we're in heightened emotional states, we tend to default to mental strategies, rationalizing, "third personing" ourselves, texting a friend, trying to reason our way back to calm. But according to Andrew D. Huberman, Ph.D., this rarely works: "It's very hard to get yourself out of those states with thinking alone." The solution, he argues, lies not in the mind but in the body. "The beauty of the autonomic nervous system is that it traverses the brain and the body and it connects to essentially all the organs of the body. And it's a two-way street such that certain behaviors, even certain patterns of breathing etc. allow us to shift between very very alert and stressed and very calm." This two-way street is the key insight. The body doesn't just receive signals from the brain, it also sends them back. Shifting your physiology shifts your mental state, which in turn shifts the kinds of thoughts and actions available to you. "If you're very very stressed, you're very very upset, two things happen. One, it's very hard to take your focus off whatever it is that's upsetting you. And if you don't know what's upsetting you, you know, pure anxiety, but you don't know why, it's very hard to take your mind off of the feelings of anxiety." In other words, anxiety hijacks your attention and then traps you there. Trying to think your way out only tightens the grip. The way out is to move through the body first: "If we turn to the body and certain behaviors, we are able to move ourselves along the autonomic continuum. And at that point, when we've done that successfully, we are able to think about things differently." "If you can't control the mind with the mind, look to the body to control the mind."

Kevin Tanaka

27,792 просмотров • 3 месяцев назад

Obedience is a sacred pledge. An offering of self. Not an abandoning of self. Nor a selfish act. A submissive who obeys without discernment is not powerful. They are pliable. A submissive who obeys with reverence, discernment and clarity iis conscious of the value he brings and chooses who to offer this value to. And you make that choice, because you trust in the leadership and influence and benevolence of the person you choose to obey. The more obedient and devoted a submissive is, the more they allow their Mistress to fully embody her Dominance, the more they amplify her Divine Feminine Power. Because by obeying her, you showcase that her words and commands matter, that you trust them. Which in turn makes her feel safe and encouraged to assert herself and command with confidence. But there is a difference between seeking to find a Mıstress from a place of need and desperation.. And from a desire. Which is rooted in the energy of giving, not taking. Here are two questions to ask yourself as a sub, seeking this type of dynamic: Are your fantasies more about what she can do TO you (for you) or about what you can do for her? Are you fantasizing about being used, or about being of use? Real obedience is an act of devotional selflessness. It is obsequious. Performative obedience is where you become a slv to your own desires... a sycophant who selects someone to play out what you want, for your own personal benefit alone. [Exerpt from Sacred submission]

Sensitive content

Obedience is a sacred pledge. An offering of self. Not an abandoning of self. Nor a selfish act. A submissive who obeys without discernment is not powerful. They are pliable. A submissive who obeys with reverence, discernment and clarity iis conscious of the value he brings and chooses who to offer this value to. And you make that choice, because you trust in the leadership and influence and benevolence of the person you choose to obey. The more obedient and devoted a submissive is, the more they allow their Mistress to fully embody her Dominance, the more they amplify her Divine Feminine Power. Because by obeying her, you showcase that her words and commands matter, that you trust them. Which in turn makes her feel safe and encouraged to assert herself and command with confidence. But there is a difference between seeking to find a Mıstress from a place of need and desperation.. And from a desire. Which is rooted in the energy of giving, not taking. Here are two questions to ask yourself as a sub, seeking this type of dynamic: Are your fantasies more about what she can do TO you (for you) or about what you can do for her? Are you fantasizing about being used, or about being of use? Real obedience is an act of devotional selflessness. It is obsequious. Performative obedience is where you become a slv to your own desires... a sycophant who selects someone to play out what you want, for your own personal benefit alone. [Exerpt from Sacred submission]

Ms. Malissia

39,563 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

.Second Lady Usha Vance responds to a student's question about how to be the best Second Lady: "I think they key thing, for anyone who is in this kind of role, is to try to just continue to be yourself. You have to do the best job that you can. And there are some responsibilities that come with it...you don't always choose what you are doing...But the most important thing is to remember the kind of person that you were before it, and the kind of person you want to be. If you can do that all the way through, then you can have a lot of fun — and maybe be helpful. You don't want to just start thinking of yourself as the Second Lady, because then you're probably not that fun a person anymore."

.Second Lady Usha Vance responds to a student's question about how to be the best Second Lady: "I think they key thing, for anyone who is in this kind of role, is to try to just continue to be yourself. You have to do the best job that you can. And there are some responsibilities that come with it...you don't always choose what you are doing...But the most important thing is to remember the kind of person that you were before it, and the kind of person you want to be. If you can do that all the way through, then you can have a lot of fun — and maybe be helpful. You don't want to just start thinking of yourself as the Second Lady, because then you're probably not that fun a person anymore."

Mary Margaret Olohan

1,111,670 просмотров • 11 месяцев назад

Jordan Peterson on why writing is the most powerful skill you can learn: 1. writing and thinking are the same thing. there is no difference between them. when you learn to write clearly you are not learning to express thoughts you already have. you are learning to have the thoughts in the first place. 2. universities never tell students why they are writing. the answer they get is you need the grade. the real answer is you need to learn to think. because thinking is what makes you act effectively in the world and win the battles you choose to fight. 3. if you can think, speak, and write you are absolutely dangerous. people give you money. they give you opportunities. you have influence. peterson says nothing can get in your way. that is what you are at university for. 4. the most articulate person in the room always wins the argument. peterson has watched staggeringly successful people his whole life. the common thread: you do not want to argue with them. not because they are aggressive. because their points are organized and yours probably aren't. 5. someone who cannot write has done almost everything wrong before they start. wrong words, wrong sentences, wrong paragraph order, wrong structure, wrong conclusion. peterson says marking a bad essay is agony because the answer to what did i do wrong is essentially everything.

Jordan Peterson on why writing is the most powerful skill you can learn: 1. writing and thinking are the same thing. there is no difference between them. when you learn to write clearly you are not learning to express thoughts you already have. you are learning to have the thoughts in the first place. 2. universities never tell students why they are writing. the answer they get is you need the grade. the real answer is you need to learn to think. because thinking is what makes you act effectively in the world and win the battles you choose to fight. 3. if you can think, speak, and write you are absolutely dangerous. people give you money. they give you opportunities. you have influence. peterson says nothing can get in your way. that is what you are at university for. 4. the most articulate person in the room always wins the argument. peterson has watched staggeringly successful people his whole life. the common thread: you do not want to argue with them. not because they are aggressive. because their points are organized and yours probably aren't. 5. someone who cannot write has done almost everything wrong before they start. wrong words, wrong sentences, wrong paragraph order, wrong structure, wrong conclusion. peterson says marking a bad essay is agony because the answer to what did i do wrong is essentially everything.

Jaynit

105,119 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

It can be difficult to practice when we are in such a habit of people pleasing but trust me, the more you stop caring about what other people think about you and your life, the sooner you will set yourself free. ✨ Watch "How To Be Confident" on YouTube- LINK IN BIO🔗

It can be difficult to practice when we are in such a habit of people pleasing but trust me, the more you stop caring about what other people think about you and your life, the sooner you will set yourself free. ✨ Watch "How To Be Confident" on YouTube- LINK IN BIO🔗

Saterra St Jean

24,713 просмотров • 1 год назад

Jimmy Carr on managing anxiety: “Give yourself more to do. Anxiety is trying to solve a problem in the future now, and you can’t.” When you’re in the gym or focused on an immediate task, anxiety fades because you have something to deal with right now. A simple, practical tip from someone who’s been there. What do you think, does staying busy help you manage anxiety?

Jimmy Carr on managing anxiety: “Give yourself more to do. Anxiety is trying to solve a problem in the future now, and you can’t.” When you’re in the gym or focused on an immediate task, anxiety fades because you have something to deal with right now. A simple, practical tip from someone who’s been there. What do you think, does staying busy help you manage anxiety?

Camus

50,775 просмотров • 28 дней назад

Naval Ravikant: "You're going to die. It's all going to zero. What's there to stress about?" "Stress is when your mind has two conflicting desires at once. You want to be liked, but you want to do something selfish. You don't want to go to work, but you want to make money. You have two conflicting desires, and that's stress." Naval explains the difference between stress and anxiety: "Anxiety is this pervasive, unidentifiable stress where you're stressed out all the time and you're not even sure why. The reason is you have so many unresolved problems that have piled up in your life, you can no longer identify what the problems are. There's this mountain of garbage in your mind. A little bit is poking out the top like an iceberg; that's anxiety. But underneath, there's a lot of unresolved things." He shares his personal anxiety resolver: "One big anxiety resolver for me is just ruminating on death. You're going to die. It's all going to zero. You cannot take anything with you. If you can keep that idea in front of you at all times, what's there to stress about?" Naval reframes what "wasted time" really means: "What is wasted time? Everything is wasted time in a sense because nothing matters in the ultimate. But in each moment, it's the only thing that matters. So if you're doing something you want to do and you're fully there for it it's not wasted time. If your mind is running away, wishing you were somewhere else, anticipating the future, regretting the past, that's wasted time. That's time you're not present for." He concludes: "People get worried about dying and no longer being here. But they don't realize that so much of their life is spent not being here in any case."

Naval Ravikant: "You're going to die. It's all going to zero. What's there to stress about?" "Stress is when your mind has two conflicting desires at once. You want to be liked, but you want to do something selfish. You don't want to go to work, but you want to make money. You have two conflicting desires, and that's stress." Naval explains the difference between stress and anxiety: "Anxiety is this pervasive, unidentifiable stress where you're stressed out all the time and you're not even sure why. The reason is you have so many unresolved problems that have piled up in your life, you can no longer identify what the problems are. There's this mountain of garbage in your mind. A little bit is poking out the top like an iceberg; that's anxiety. But underneath, there's a lot of unresolved things." He shares his personal anxiety resolver: "One big anxiety resolver for me is just ruminating on death. You're going to die. It's all going to zero. You cannot take anything with you. If you can keep that idea in front of you at all times, what's there to stress about?" Naval reframes what "wasted time" really means: "What is wasted time? Everything is wasted time in a sense because nothing matters in the ultimate. But in each moment, it's the only thing that matters. So if you're doing something you want to do and you're fully there for it it's not wasted time. If your mind is running away, wishing you were somewhere else, anticipating the future, regretting the past, that's wasted time. That's time you're not present for." He concludes: "People get worried about dying and no longer being here. But they don't realize that so much of their life is spent not being here in any case."

Jaynit

671,748 просмотров • 5 месяцев назад

Warm wishes to all of you on the English New Year. Today is not just about changing a date on the calendar; it is a day to ask yourself an honest question. What has passed will not return, but the lessons you gained from it will always stay with you. The mistakes of the past year were not signs of weakness; they were part of the process that made you stronger. In this new year, try not to run away from yourself. Instead, understand yourself and work on improving. Complain less and make more effort. Show less and practice more self-discipline. Because the day you truly decide to change yourself is the day that becomes your real New Year. May this English New Year be meaningful and auspicious for you.

Warm wishes to all of you on the English New Year. Today is not just about changing a date on the calendar; it is a day to ask yourself an honest question. What has passed will not return, but the lessons you gained from it will always stay with you. The mistakes of the past year were not signs of weakness; they were part of the process that made you stronger. In this new year, try not to run away from yourself. Instead, understand yourself and work on improving. Complain less and make more effort. Show less and practice more self-discipline. Because the day you truly decide to change yourself is the day that becomes your real New Year. May this English New Year be meaningful and auspicious for you.

Bhagavad Gita 🪷

40,755 просмотров • 7 месяцев назад