"Men would rather (insert activity) than go to therapy", is a meme that pokes fun at the unique hobbies men love. Many laugh at these men. Asking why they meticulously restore trains, go fishing, enact historic battles, sing sea shanties, trudge up mountains, or dive into frozen lakes... But... have these cynics not stopped to ask if, to these men, that is therapy? Is hiking a mountain therapy? Is building a trebuchet therapy? Is going to the gym therapy? Is enacting the Battle of Agincourt therapy? I think it is. Considering our #malesuicide epidemic, it's sad to see so many of the idiosyncratic outlets many men use, mocked, derided, or seen as an 'excuse' for the very thing these activities already are. So why are we holding onto antiquated, clinical and largely female-centric models of 'therapy', and mocking men who choose a different route, for their own needs? And who gets to gatekeep what qualifies as 'therapy'? If anything, these men dressed in suits of armour swinging swords in the rain, climbing Kilimanjaro with their mates, singing Wellerman, or plunging into ice cold lakes, are the innovators of novel therapeutic models, who we should not smugly insult, but learn from, and admire. So to these men – who bravely pursue such hobbies, and who gain tremendous mental health benefits as a result – I salute you as pioneers, ahead of your time, and I will happily join your next great battle. Thank you for showing us the way.show more

We need to stop trying to get men (on average) to engage in therapy like women (on average) do. There are methods to use that are more attractive men. I use these & I find they work, & get many men to seek out & engage with therapy 👇

The thing is these activists are therapeutic, even more so than actual therapy. Just because men handle their problems differently doesn’t mean it’s inferior.

Exactly. Also you get a cool trebuchet out of it.

I’m a trained psychotherapist and honestly most talk therapy is just crap. There’s some good techniques you can learn by reading cognitive behavioral therapy but seeing a stranger and talking things out generally doesn’t help even women.

There are absolutely women being failed here as well, and you are welcome to help build trains, climb mountains, or re-enact medieval battles too. ❤️

Men use the Default Mode Network (DMN) far more during recovery, in other words, while doing solo or other group tasks. This activates the Medial Prefrontal Cortex (M-PFC), Posterior Cingulate Cortex (PCC), and Angular Gyrus (AG), aka background thinking. In my experience, the conditions have to be right for men to talk and open up. Mostly, it's an anonymous person with strict privacy who is not involved or related to his friends and family network. I wonder if this is related to emotional intelligence as the DMN is related to metacognition as it is correlated to childhood trauma🤔

And ask any non-feminist therapist (I managed to find a good one) and they will celebrate men having hobbies because it is active, it is good, it is enjoyable, it puts them in a good headspace. Yes, it can be cognitive disassociation which isn't good, but they don't shame hobbies

Because of the difference in styles of communication between men and women, women benefit more from talking while men benefit more from physical activities. One is not better than the other, it's just different and equally valid.

My therapy at the moment, constructing a new table top. I'll spend hours upon hours over the weekend bringing out that beautiful woodgrain until it's perfect and be able to look at it for years knowing I did that

Be an interesting experiment if the NHS prescribed hobby groups for those who it would consider for talking therapies. It would fit with the evidence of effectiveness of CBT, but I hazard that it might be more effective as it address issues like loneliness and self worth too.