NO MORE ARTISANAL KETCHUPS! Paul Scheer

@paulscheer Heinz Ketchup French’s Mustard Hellman’s Mayo (or Duke’s in the South; Blue Plate in Louisiana)

@paulscheer No one has said it better sir! 🫡

@paulscheer feel like the artisanal ketchup must be a regional thing or specific to a certain kind of restaurant, never in my life have I seen that.

@paulscheer Miracle whip is an absolute abomination

@kissingncrying @paulscheer Hellmann’s??? DUKE’S ALL THE WAY!

@paulscheer Artisanal is bad but so is the opposite extreme of stocking non-Heinz ketchup. What? Do the Cheney Brothers have compromat on the restauranteur??

I have an incredible take concerning milk and cereal pouring order. I am convinced I can single handledly change public opinion on which goes first in a logical manner. Let’s make it happen 👀

@paulscheer @paulscheer with the boomerest of genX takes

@paulscheer Oinkster in LA has fantastic ketchup (2 kinds; plus other condiments) they make in-house. Their aioli is unrivaled. Also loved the ketchup at Umami Burger before SBE bought them and homogenized their whole approach (haven't been in years). Besides them, I don't see this too much.

@paulscheer Shoutout to @Whataburger spicy ketchup