Public support for non-monogamy and polyamory has risen considerably in recent years. Many advocates argue that normalizing non-monogamy is a progressive reform in line with women's equality and same-sex marriage. But this view is seriously misguided, as I argue in this new talk. Normative monogamy played a critical and... underappreciated role in enabling the rise of democracy, women's rights, and gay rights—and eroding that norm will undermine rather than advance those values. That is true whether the norm of monogamy is challenged from the right (i.e., patriarchal polygamy) or from the left (i.e., polyamory and consensual non-monogamy). From the teaching of Jesus himself onwards, Christianity has always upheld monogamy as an important moral standard. That norm has had a far greater and more beneficial impact on our society than many realize, and it cannot be altered without producing significant unintended negative consequences. In short: Monogamy matters, and it is very much worth defending. Why Monogamy Matters, from the 2025 Reformation Project conference: (0:00) Introduction (0:36) Same-sex marriage and slippery slope predictions (7:46) Non-monogamy statistics (11:42) Understanding consensual non-monogamy (16:29) A Christian case for non-monogamy? (20:43) Polygamy in the Old Testament (28:15) Emerging Jewish opposition to polygamy (31:58) Jesus's teaching on marriage and monogamy (34:16) The New Testament and monogamy (39:28) Polygamy vs. monogamy historically (45:13) Polygamy's math problem (47:06) How monogamy benefits societies (49:22) How polygamy harms women and children (51:37) How polygamy harms men and boys (53:15) How polygamy harms societies (55:58) What about modern polyamory? (57:03) Polyamory's math problem (58:46) Polyamory's community problem (1:07:16) Polyamory's gender problem (1:12:48) Gay men and monogamy (1:19:06) Why monogamy mattersshow more

Matthew Vines

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