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🫪 Putin threw himself a Navy Day parade without a fleet. Instead, he settled for a giant printed picture of a submarine.

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Now constantly fearing assassination and palace coup at the hands of his own people, the Russian dictator is now forced to celebrate "Navy Day" on a backlot with a giant photo of a submarine.
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Well, there you have it: Putin has crawled out of his bunker and is reviewing a parade in honour of “Russian Navy Day” -- on foot, alongside a handful of sailors in costume, somewhere in a backyard in St Petersburg, with a printed photo of a submarine stuck on the wall behind them, because apparently it’s too scary to do anything more. You could hardly find a better illustration of the “naval greatness” of modern Russia. Strangely left out of frame are the burning oil refineries and ports, the Black Sea Fleet that has barely dared to stick its nose out to sea for the fourth year running, its flagship lying on the seabed since 2022, and even the fact that internet service was shut down across St Petersburg today just in case Ukrainian drones might frighten the tsar.
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