Serious answers only

It's a comfort mechanism, he's having separation anxiety, prolly.

Might want to check the sheets with a blacklight.

My cat sucks on a blanky and kneads all the time. He was abandoned or separated from his mom extremely young and I think that’s why he does it. He is 5 years old. I’m laughing because he is doing it as I’m typing this.

Because “cat”.

Cat kneading is a behavior kittens use to get milk from their mother. Cats make biscuits when you are petting them. Kneading is their way of telling you they feel good. Cats may knead when they are preparing their nest and trying to get comfortable.☺️

Separation anxiety, it usually happens when baby animals are removed from their mother too young

My cat does the same but his victims are usually socks,towels or stuffed animals. He's a male. As soon as he's alone,it's casterbation time.

she misses you

um that’s his job?? he has hundreds of orders of biscuits to make??

'cause you left without making the bed, and she is trying to help you out.