The cure for addiction, explained by Terry Real

Understanding addiction requires addressing emotional wounds and fostering genuine connection, not just surface-level solutions.

Human connection, with all its messiness, is the magic bullet. Isolation feeds addiction and addiction squanders potential. The relentless push of easy porn and fake food/drugs is designed to make us believe our desire to connect is too difficult and must be avoided.

If anyone’s struggling with alcohol try AA, it provides that connection.

AA is great. We discussed it at the end of the episode. And explain what open meetings are for those that might be curious.

@kole_world_1 Did you also explain that the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking

@kole_world_1 Yes, and that people who aren’t alcoholics can also go to an open meeting to see what it’s about if they know someone who has an issue.

He totally forgot God but great start

This is true because as soon as I see a group of heavy smoker and drinker friends get together they immediately forget about smoking and drinking and talk to each other sober.

Hahaha

20+ minutes in, another great interview. Skateboarding and punk rock are two things that brought guys together back in the day. Breaking the rules together built lasting bonds.

The king of recovery is learning that you are already and have always been connected. Fixed that for you.

It is not 'the' cure at all.. misinformation that is also dangerous. As an INFJ introvert, I got nowhere by attending meetings. Building a structured life that involves exercise and nature did more for me than any person did or could. Like the rest of life it isn't one size 4all

I been free of Alcohol for 6 months and one of the best advice tips I got from a coach was not to avoid social situations but embrace them and be open as to why I was stopping/giving up. So far so good and some great points by Terry that I will use going fwd!

Crazy talk. I know some incredibly sober avoidants. This may be an explanation for *some* people but it is not a global cure for addiction.

The root of addiction and alcoholism is a fear of emotional intimacy - or a fear of Being Known. They knew this 100 years ago and wrote about it in the AA book

If you have always wanted to quit drinking (quit abusing a substance) and nothing else has worked, take 30 seconds to see if this makes a difference this time. Make 2026 your best year.

The quiet, transformative intimacy of surrendering to a higher power, the shared vulnerability of a twelve-step meeting, the tender trust rebuilt with someone, and even the simple, steady presence of community that says, “You are not alone.”

What if we like being alone?

Close. Pain: disconnection FROM that/those parts experiencing it. Addiction is a chosen approach to temporize that pain. Cure: bridge that reconnects to those parts.

In case of social media addiction this solution doesn't apply. Since all intimate friends or partners are socializing through the same medium. Like you see in a lot of gatherings or people living together under same roof sitting next to each other often use social media together

The cure for addiction is memory and truth recovery and transcendence of such which is when where and how the demons climbed in.

Modern people don't want to admit they have too much freedom. The other side of intimacy is less freedom which gives u less room to mess with addictive substances/behaviors.

Many addicted people have incredible support and love surrounding them, but persist in their addiction because substances act on the brain in ways that promote and sustain use or cause disease. And only brain level interventions may correct some of the disease or disorder.

Reminded me of the final scene from the series Dopesick. With the doctor talking to a group of recovering addicts saying that the opposite of addiction is connection 🙏

Touching on something that is very powerful but very dangerous as well. Disconnection is painful, and intimacy genuinely reduces that pain that’s why it helps people stabilise. But addiction isn’t only about pain. It’s about losing choice to deal with that pain. When one thing becomes the only reliable way to feel okay, it stops being a coping tool and becomes a trap. Intimacy helps when it’s part of a wider system of regulation. On its own, it can turn into another dependency. So intimacy doesn’t cure addiction it helps restore the ground where choice becomes possible again. What he is saying is powerful but not the whole picture! Recovery doesn’t begin with connection alone. It begins when a person regains the ability to choose how they respond to pain, rather than being driven toward the only option that works. That’s where recovery actually begins.

So true and well-explained.

Beautiful message. Connection heals every time!

The cure for addiction is called the deep understanding of God.

@KettlebellDan

This is not only relevant for substances, but there are many young men addicted to video games and, to me, it seems like a very similar addiction to any substance.

I found cognitive behavioral therapy to be helpful.

2026 is the year I break this addiction I've had since puberty some 20 years ago. That's my biggest intention for the year and I expect it'll be among the most difficult things I've ever done but it's past time. The rest of my life is worth a little pain now.

I never thought of this, or encounter it in any other way. It immediately made sense in the deepest part of me.

IBOGAINE ....wham, bam, thank you mam

Love it. Just bought all 4 of his books. Looking forward to hearing the episode.

@Bhaiya_Dotcom Thank you!

Love addiction, my greatest peril