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THIS IS FINANCIAL ADVICE

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Time Traveler

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41,757 views • 1 year ago •via X (Twitter)

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Dave, I think I’ve cracked the code on how you can stop running 50% off sales next year, and it has nothing to do with tightening the prose or shortening the newsletter. The future is a Wrestling Observer meme coin ecosystem. Not one coin → a whole universe. You don’t need to discount subscriptions anymore, you tokenize them. $STARS alone prints money, but now imagine branching out: $MOTY, $BOOKER, $PROMO, $WORST, $FEUD, $HOF. Every Observer Award becomes its own speculative asset. Fans don’t just argue about the results anymore, they invest emotionally and financially. Award season turns into earnings season. Tokyo Dome weekends look like IPOs. By the time people realize what’s happening, they’re too busy defending the market cap to ask why the price ever needed to be 50% off in the first place. Step 1: Announce “this is NOT financial advice.” Repeat it 14 times. Immediately follow with numbers. Step 2: Launch the coins. Ticker ideas: $STARS, $PLANS, $FLIPZ, $MATH, $OBSVR, $PLANSCHG. Tagline: “value is subjective.” Subscribtion holders get an airdrop, but only if they’ve been subscribed “for a long time” (defined later). Step 3: Explain the tokenomics, vaguely. Supply is capped, but fluid. Burn mechanism exists, but contextually. Volatility is expected, historically speaking. Any confusion is the listener’s fault for misquoting. Step 4: Replace 50% off sales with “market events.” Instead of 50% off for Black Friday, it’s now “a temporary value correction tied to outside factors.” Price dips? That’s not a crash. That’s a buying opportunity for long-term observers. Step 5: Use ratings language to justify price. “The demo is up even if the total market cap is down.” “If you isolate Japan, it’s actually doing great.” “Quarter-hour holders stayed strong.” Someone points out the chart looks bad? Reply: “You’re focusing on the wrong metric.” Step 6: Critics = bad faith actors. Anyone skeptical is arguing in bad faith, cherry-picking timestamps, ignoring context, probably an agenda account. Fans defend the coin for free, because they already paid emotionally. Step 7: Plans change. Roadmap quietly updates. Phase 2 delayed. Phase 3 recontextualized. Phase 4 never existed. This was always explained if you “read carefully.” Step 8: Victory. Subscription price stays full. No more 50% sales. Fans now argue about charts instead of discounts. And if it all goes to zero? “I’m not saying it failed. I’m just saying expectations were unrealistic.” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️¾ Six stars in the Tokyo Dome. Happy holidays 🎅🎄 This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice.
0:11

Dave, I think I’ve cracked the code on how you can stop running 50% off sales next year, and it has nothing to do with tightening the prose or shortening the newsletter. The future is a Wrestling Observer meme coin ecosystem. Not one coin → a whole universe. You don’t need to discount subscriptions anymore, you tokenize them. $STARS alone prints money, but now imagine branching out: $MOTY, $BOOKER, $PROMO, $WORST, $FEUD, $HOF. Every Observer Award becomes its own speculative asset. Fans don’t just argue about the results anymore, they invest emotionally and financially. Award season turns into earnings season. Tokyo Dome weekends look like IPOs. By the time people realize what’s happening, they’re too busy defending the market cap to ask why the price ever needed to be 50% off in the first place. Step 1: Announce “this is NOT financial advice.” Repeat it 14 times. Immediately follow with numbers. Step 2: Launch the coins. Ticker ideas: $STARS, $PLANS, $FLIPZ, $MATH, $OBSVR, $PLANSCHG. Tagline: “value is subjective.” Subscribtion holders get an airdrop, but only if they’ve been subscribed “for a long time” (defined later). Step 3: Explain the tokenomics, vaguely. Supply is capped, but fluid. Burn mechanism exists, but contextually. Volatility is expected, historically speaking. Any confusion is the listener’s fault for misquoting. Step 4: Replace 50% off sales with “market events.” Instead of 50% off for Black Friday, it’s now “a temporary value correction tied to outside factors.” Price dips? That’s not a crash. That’s a buying opportunity for long-term observers. Step 5: Use ratings language to justify price. “The demo is up even if the total market cap is down.” “If you isolate Japan, it’s actually doing great.” “Quarter-hour holders stayed strong.” Someone points out the chart looks bad? Reply: “You’re focusing on the wrong metric.” Step 6: Critics = bad faith actors. Anyone skeptical is arguing in bad faith, cherry-picking timestamps, ignoring context, probably an agenda account. Fans defend the coin for free, because they already paid emotionally. Step 7: Plans change. Roadmap quietly updates. Phase 2 delayed. Phase 3 recontextualized. Phase 4 never existed. This was always explained if you “read carefully.” Step 8: Victory. Subscription price stays full. No more 50% sales. Fans now argue about charts instead of discounts. And if it all goes to zero? “I’m not saying it failed. I’m just saying expectations were unrealistic.” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️¾ Six stars in the Tokyo Dome. Happy holidays 🎅🎄 This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice. This is NOT financial advice.

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Last but not least, this genius meme that is (not financial advice 😉) a great reminder to not overreact, but instead do your own research 🔎 #kraken12
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This is AWFUL advice…
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IS THIS SOLID ADVICE? 😎
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Wow… The Long Investor is now hiding replies from anyone who challenges his claims, while charging $42/month for financial advice off-platform. This is narrative control, and directly impacts trust and consumer protection X XCreators
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