This is so powerful. If you are going through this please know I will pray for you🙏25% of all adult children are estranged from their families so please know you are not alone (((Hugs)))❤️

This. We said a temporary "ok, we'll see you after covid. It'll be gone soon, honey." My husband (69) said that to his "Daddy's girl", in 2019. After that day, no phone calls, no messages, no indirect or direct anything. Nothing. One thing she does is keep contact with extended family, who now treat us coldly. No one will us what we did. Our only clues/ideas are: 1) we rejected covid vaccines 2) didn't plan to vote Democrat 3) Daddy wouldn't defend her FB rant, on how we all needed to embrace Islamics. (in late 2019) That's it. I'll be brutally honest, as her stepmother. I consider her, now, dead. Why? She was a demanding, narcissistic child. She thought she was more important than all of the other children. She thought she could rule over our lives & our thoughts. Not me! I am no loner grieving but Daddy's grieved, now, for 5 yrs. At least 3 yrs of "Happy Birthdays, mother's days, Christmases & random, simple "I love you" & "please call Daddy, sweetheart" messages - I can't think of anything more cruel, to such a wonderful, hardworking & loving Daddy😪 We don't have years left to do this, anymore. Please do pray for my sweet husband🙏🏼 It's been a nightmare for him (& me, watching him suffer). 😪

🙏(((❤️)))🙏definitely praying for him. I am going through this with my oldest daughter who up until a few years ago we were best friends. But between her significant other and therapy she was turned against me. It hurts so bad but I know I didn’t do anything that should have caused this estrangement. She does keep in touch with my Dad as I am sure she is hoping to get an inheritance one day. Little does she know she will have to go through me to get it. Please give your hubby a hug from me. I am so sorry for his pain. If my Mom was still alive she would have never tolerated this and my daughter wouldn’t have pulled this.

@CheRRy_Bloss_m7 Same here. My daughter stopped communicating during early 2020 Covid as our last conversation was disagreement about lockdowns, etc. it’s so hard and I feel for others going through this. I never would have dreamed to treat either of my parents this way.

@MichelleMaxwell I'm sorry for you, too😪 Maybe there's going to be some kind of "silver lining", in this, for all of us, in the future🫶🏼🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s a hard thing to go through and a grieving heart is the worst. I am going through it as well and am trying to transition into living my life stage. Only God can heal. 😔🙏🏻

🙏❤️🙏

Society is promoting this estrangement! They want teens and young adults to blame their parents for everything!

Exactly

Thank you for having the courage to mention "therapists". In many cases they make things worse. They're the same as some medical doctors. Their monetary interests depend on prolonging the "condition". A look around our present society should bear that out.

Exactly

OR consider that maybe you indeed were a toxic parent, or an enabler, or a denier, and your child has a very good and healthy reason to distance herself from you. Boundaries are healthy, but not easy. Your child is likely having a much harder time with it than you are.

I am actually living this right now. And the one thing I will never do is feel guilty for being me and raising my kids the way we chose to raise them. And I will also never feel guilty for for my belief system. Just yesterday, my husband reached out to our daughter to let her know he was disappointed that she didn't have the decency to even say Happy Mothers Day and her response is, "don't think you trying to guilt me is going to work." In my view, at this point, it's her loss.

🙏❤️🙏

One more thing.....that whole "therapist" thing.....I shudder to imagine what she has told the therapist she has been seeing. A friend of hers told my oldest son that this "therapist" is absolutely an awful person. And finally, she tells my husband in this text exchange that she has made it perfectly clear what we need to do in order to "fix this". And I'm sitting here....I have no clue what that may be. She walked out almost 4 years ago and we really have not had any conversation with her since then. I haven't a clue what we need to do to "fix this". Part of me wants to ask, but I know better.

Going through this right now. It’s the worst

🙏

There are situations where kids just don’t want to be abused anymore. (Real abuse, not political arguments or hurt feelings.) Even in those situations (like mine) — her advice is still correct. Don’t contact me, don’t chase me— I have already decided the person offers me zero benefit and only negatives to maintain any level of contact. I don’t wish them evil, I want him to go on and learn how to lead a healthy and productive life without me in it. So that piece of advice applies too. In fact, this is the first piece of “estrangement advice for parents” I have seen on line where I actually agree with the speaker.

Save your sanity and stay away. Love them from a safe distance. Don’t take ownership of things you’ve never done just to get along. The best thing you can do is protect yourself from a toxic child. Miss and love them terribly but another hospital visit isn’t worth it!

This wisdom is the same as what I learned decades ago when attending support groups for people dealing with loved ones with addictions. Powerful.

Parents can save themselves years of grief by listening to this advice. I’ve been there!!

I am estranged from my daughters. I couldn’t take the disrespect any longer.

❤️‍🔥Excellent advice. My only daughter (40) threatened to SHUT ME OUT FORVER b/c I’m do NOT ACCEPT the trans 💩 & I HAD TO THINK ABOUT THIS hard THROUGH TEARS! Decided FINE, I did the BEST I COULD so MEH! 🤨 Now SHE’S coming to ME & SAYING sorry. HOLD THE LINE! 🙏TY God & Jesus. 🙏

SHE'S RIGHT.

My brother and my sister are estranged from my mother and me. Their choice. They both have these grievances against my mother that I don't understand, and we grew up together. Worst part is both have fucked up their lives so badly yet they still judge my mom for choices she made.

I am so sorry. It is such an awful thing.

This is all good advice!! I went through this with my oldest son and the best advice I got was to text him a message when I was thinking about him, on his birthday, that I loved him in a way to not ask for a response - so instead of “Are you OK?” I would write. “I’m thinking about you today and I love you very much.” There was no pressure for him to respond, but I got to say what I was feeling. When we got back into communication, he said those text messages were very important to him even though it took him forever to respond… Finally… I went through this for about two years! It was the most painful thing. I’m so grateful we are close now! We both went to the same therapist and she was amazing!

Going on year 11 with a son, and year 5 with a daughter. This video is amazing.

My Husband and I are going through this with our oldest Son and his Wife. They cut off us, their siblings and Aunt and Uncles. It’s been a trial for sure but we with survive this no matter what happens.

Strong family and community ties have historically been a stabilizing force in society. When those ties weaken, people often look for new forms of support and belonging.

Needed this. Thank you for sharing and all prayers accepted graciously!

Defence looks like Guilt. Silence looks like Confidence.

Let them go.

I research familial relationships and these estrangements are at all-time highs. In the majority of cases, it's selfish, narcissistic adult kids who turn their backs. This woman is absolutely right. Parents need to stop begging and taking the blame. Cut the ties. Live your life.

Yes. To all of these. Acknowledgment and acceptance of that fact is necessary. The grief is real...grieve. Then wash your face, take a deeeep breath, and step into living life accepting the new normal you never asked for. It's been since before covid for us. It's about God and about politics...and stunned us.

Funny… I’m a child of a malignant narcissist who beat me and broke my bones. You sound like a Karen you even look like her… everything you said was the exact opposite for me. So clearly you haven’t grown up as a child with a highly abusive parent. Quite clearly you were not a child like me. 🙄 people like you make me wanna vomit.

Wow

These are thoughtful words to help establish boundaries, but estrangement is tied to abandonment, either real or imagined. It’s also an ancestral curse. Read The Self Deliverance Guide by Mike Brewer, as Spiritual curses can be broken through Jesus.

parents also get to choose if said kid comes around. Some may see what a prize their adult kid has become and not want that garbage. Why would I?

Estranged from daughter and her 5 children (our grandchildren) for 8 years.

@monicaonairtalk 🫶✌️🥰

Exactly what I'm going through all the sudden my son married in 32. Doesn't want to celebrate anything. Doesn't want to do anything with us. Decided he doesn't like my attitude and quit speaking to me 3 months ago. We were always best friends. It's been the toughest 3 months

I went through this with my oldest and my youngest and this woman is SPOT ON! I had allowed our dynamic to completely shift out of my desire to have a close relationship with my children. They had every right to their feelings for the life I had led when they were younger. However it’s been nearly two decades and I was still being treated the same. I begged for their acceptance and attention. It wasn’t until I stopped that, stopped reaching out and asking if I had upset them. I began living in the NOW and not yesterday. I stopped reaching out to them and allowed them to reach out when they wanted to talk. I stopped participating in the lash outs regarding my past when there were disagreements. When I started doing this things began to change. I now have a closer and more genuine relationship with both of them than I have had in YEARS! It does get better! Sometimes they need a little taste of adult life before they realize that life isn’t always black and white. In fact it rarely is. Great post!

I follow Tania Khazaal on IG. She has really helped me. Eatrangement and no desire to reconcile is the hardest thing I've ever had to face.

My confusion is, I had a physically abusive diagnosed bi-polar mother. I thought I hated her. But then I got married then had my first child and I forgave my mom who never apologized. I wanted my kids to have grandparents! The one thing I never got to was to say:🧵

Forgiveness is your route to freedom. Clear heart. No bitterness or resentment. Stay clean!