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Wife whose husband refuses to work and lives off his parents’ money asks Dave Ramsey for advice. Caller: “We’ve been married for two and a half years. I pay the mortgage and almost all of our bills. My husband only works odd jobs, gets money from his parents, and...

22,838 次观看 • 1 个月前 •via X (Twitter)

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Her husband said, “It’s the kids or the marriage.” Caller: I was a single mom with two boys before I married, I made them a promise that if they went to college full-time, as long as God blessed me with health and employment, I would financially take care of them while they completed school. They kept their end of the deal, they got accepted into two really great schools, and I wanted to keep my end of the deal. The problem is, I got remarried, and my husband is completely against me helping them financially. Dave Ramsey: So you’ve supported them all this time? Caller: I have. Dave Ramsey: And they’re almost done, and he’s objecting to you finishing the support? Caller: One hundred percent, I pay for everything for my children. He’s never had to contribute anything towards their school or any of their expenses. He says, “You need to cut the string, and they need to fly on their own.” But I told him I made this promise, he was like, “It’s the kids or the marriage.” He just moved out a few months ago, I want to continue helping my children. Dave Ramsey: I’m sorry. Caller: Am I wrong? Dave Ramsey: No, you’re not wrong. Caller: He tells me all the time, “You’re Christian, and you need to submit to your husband.” Dave Ramsey: That’s not what the Bible’s talking about, submit does not mean endorsing misbehavior. Your marriage is not ending because you supported your children, your marriage is ending because it was not built on mutual respect and agreement. You had made a deal prior to getting married, he knew about that deal, and then after getting married was not okay with it and tried to change it and punish you for it. He’s framing the narrative that you’re choosing between him and your kids. But that’s not what’s happening at all, this has to do with him not getting his little way.

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48,474 次观看 • 1 个月前

Parents Promised to Pay for College… Until Their Daughter Broke One Rule Caller: My husband and I have been on your plan off and on. We’ve paid off all our debt at one point, and then I was stupid, got back into it. One of the driving forces is we want to cash flow our kids’ college. I’ve told my kids since they were in middle school, “We will pay for college, but you have to live at home, you have to go to a school that we approve of, and you have to have good grades.” Dave Ramsey: Yeah, that’s fine. I did the same thing except the live-at-home part. John Delony: Why do you add that you have to live at home? Caller: Because where I live there are so many colleges within 20 minutes of our home that there is no reason for you to not live at home. Dave Ramsey: Okay. It’s your money, and those are your rules. What’s your question? Caller: My daughter refuses to stay home and go to school. She wants to go to WSU, which is six hours away, and they require you to live on campus and have the food program. John Delony: This is very simple. She’s opting out of your rules. Caller: Yes. And it’s just… it’s very difficult for me. John Delony: You drew a very hard line, a very clear line. This is the way this is going to be, and she said, “Cool. I’m going that way.” Dave Ramsey: But that doesn’t obligate you to pay. Caller: I said I would help with some groceries. Dave Ramsey: No, no, no. She gets none of your money. That’s the rule you set up. Caller: It kills me when you see your kid running into… Dave Ramsey: It’s really heartbreaking to watch people you love do stupid butt things. But you don’t get to vote anymore once they’re adults.

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72,295 次观看 • 1 个月前

Caller: I’m 43, I’ve been with my boyfriend 20 years, living together for 18. We have completely separate finances, but he’s financially irresponsible and now he wants me to help bail out his mother. John: What’s his financial situation? Caller: Minimal retirement savings, not much planning. His mom took out a reverse mortgage and it’s underwater. George: And he wants you to fix it? Caller: Yes. But I’ve been carrying this relationship emotionally and financially for years. We haven’t been intimate in almost a decade and he’s never been ambitious. John: Sarah, you’re essentially acting as a sugar mama in a relationship that’s profoundly unhealthy. And I think you know that. Caller: I do know it. But we’ve been together so long. George: Time invested isn’t a reason to stay. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for both of you, is leave. John: Stop looking for permission. You don’t need our permission to leave. This is your life and your future. Caller: But I feel guilty. John: Choose guilt over resentment. Because if you stay, resentment will poison you from the inside out. George: His mother’s reverse mortgage isn’t your responsibility. His lack of retirement savings isn’t your responsibility. His choices are his to make. John: You’re a grown woman. Start leaning on friends, get into counseling, and make a plan to build a life that serves you, not one where you’re carrying everyone else’s burdens. Caller: What if I regret leaving? John: Then you deal with that. But Sarah, regret is better than decades of resentment and emptiness.

Lin

11,934 次观看 • 1 个月前

Caller: “I think i’m my 41 year old boyfriend’s retirement, should i run?” Caller: I’m 32, an attorney, and I’ve been dating a 41 year old for three years. We’re talking marriage, but I just discovered he has no retirement or investment accounts. Nothing. George: At 41? Caller: Zero. And it’s making me nervous about our future together. Dave: You’re right to be nervous. This isn’t about being superficial or greedy. How someone handles money tells you a lot about their character and maturity. Caller: That’s what I’m worried about. I’ve been responsible with my finances and I don’t want to subsidize someone who lacks ambition. Dave: That’s a legitimate concern. You two need to understand each other’s financial values before marriage. George: Here’s the key question, does he have legitimate reasons for not saving, like caring for sick family members? Or is it just a lack of planning and discipline? Caller: I don’t think he has legitimate excuses. Dave: Then you have a bigger problem. This isn’t just about money, it’s about whether you two are aligned on life goals and whether you’ll respect each other long term. George: If he’s not planning for retirement at 41, that tells you something about how he approaches adulthood and responsibility. That doesn’t disappear after marriage. Caller: Can people change? Dave: They can, but they have to want to. Before you marry him, have a direct conversation. Find out if he’s willing to get serious about retirement and financial planning. If not, you need to ask yourself if you can be happy with someone who isn’t taking care of his future. Caller: That’s hard to hear. George: It is. But being miserable in a marriage because you’re subsidizing someone’s lack of planning is worse. Dave: Don’t marry someone hoping they’ll change. Marry someone who’s already aligned with you.

Lin

147,000 次观看 • 1 个月前

Some millennials have been working for 20 years and are still confused by corporate 😂 For those who are still in the dark let me fill you in. Your performance doesn't matter. Your performance review doesn't matter. Your compensation has been set by a budget committee a year ago. You are not "overachieving" anything. Management has a fixed pool of money to pay the people they manage so they can give them raises less than inflation. If they give you more money, they have to give someone else less money. It's a zero-sum game. Managers actually have a larger pool of money to hire new employees because corporations recognize that new hires need to be incentivized to come over. They won't just leave their company for the same money. If you've been at the same company for 5 years you are underpaid. If you've been at the same company for 10 years you are paid less than a new hire at a competitor. Loyalty doesn't matter because there is no reason for a company to voluntarily pay you more money. Corporations already know that over 95% of employees will not go anywhere and will take whatever they get. Even if that's nothing. There's no reason to pay everybody more money when only a tiny percentage of workers will leave. Even if you leave... (remember over 95% of employees will not) ... the corporation will distribute the work you were doing among all your coworkers. And they will take on the extra work. And they will stay. For nothing. Because in addition to a salary, what an employee wants is to not have to look for a new job. That's all the want. They don't want to move anywhere. And companies know it, and they will take advantage of that. Now you know! You're welcome.

Lazy Canadian Investor

66,816 次观看 • 2 年前