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ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

@ElijahSchaffer • 839,743 subscribers

Host @slightlyoffens on @therifttv | Reporter | “Subpar Comedian” - Trump | Believe everything you read online, even if it's contradictory | Show links below

Shorts

Producing children this genetically dissimilar than you isn’t a flex

Producing children this genetically dissimilar than you isn’t a flex

29,767,442 Aufrufe

Imagine you’re the husband working 12 hour days to afford the privilege for your wife to stay home in an upper middle class home like this She has every modern luxury, doesn’t worry about food, car paid for, hair done, nice clothes & only one child & you find this on TikTok?

Imagine you’re the husband working 12 hour days to afford the privilege for your wife to stay home in an upper middle class home like this She has every modern luxury, doesn’t worry about food, car paid for, hair done, nice clothes & only one child & you find this on TikTok?

2,295,572 Aufrufe

FRISCO: Karmelo Anthony BLM protest is heating up outside the Frisco court house Random supporters are approaching white people like myself and screaming at us Lots of anti-white racial slurs being thrown around. I’ve already been threatened and assaulted along with my crew

FRISCO: Karmelo Anthony BLM protest is heating up outside the Frisco court house Random supporters are approaching white people like myself and screaming at us Lots of anti-white racial slurs being thrown around. I’ve already been threatened and assaulted along with my crew

5,278,331 Aufrufe

Los Angeles is like Gotham city right now

Los Angeles is like Gotham city right now

22,756,390 Aufrufe

Dallas, Texas is quickly becoming unlivable with the Indian invasion

Dallas, Texas is quickly becoming unlivable with the Indian invasion

5,239,630 Aufrufe

FRISCO: “F*ck India! F*ck India!” A Texas resident Clayton Walker rips an Indian flag in front of city hall Voicing anger against the Indian immigration invasion in north Dallas

FRISCO: “Fck India! Fck India!” A Texas resident Clayton Walker rips an Indian flag in front of city hall Voicing anger against the Indian immigration invasion in north Dallas

3,737,607 Aufrufe

Why do girls that look like this always have the highest standards?

Why do girls that look like this always have the highest standards?

31,525,261 Aufrufe

All this work to remain modest & not draw attention to their physical beauty in public And they still can’t stay away from social media while trying to get the attention of 40.1 million strangers who viewed this video about their appearance Ironic. Females are fascinating

All this work to remain modest & not draw attention to their physical beauty in public And they still can’t stay away from social media while trying to get the attention of 40.1 million strangers who viewed this video about their appearance Ironic. Females are fascinating

16,058,382 Aufrufe

Never forget what they took form us

Never forget what they took form us

14,668,656 Aufrufe

Boomers will kick you out of the house at 18 so they can live like this on a Tuesday at 11am

Boomers will kick you out of the house at 18 so they can live like this on a Tuesday at 11am

12,487,384 Aufrufe

Holy shit, what a f*cking waste

Holy shit, what a f*cking waste

16,489,286 Aufrufe

Women literally abandon their children to make spreadsheets. Pathetic losers

Women literally abandon their children to make spreadsheets. Pathetic losers

10,239,400 Aufrufe

Usual suspect

Usual suspect

9,511,894 Aufrufe

Probably all divorced

Probably all divorced

10,014,575 Aufrufe

Why do masculine lesbians always adopt the style of a 13 year old upper middle class Hispanic boy with divorced parents?

Why do masculine lesbians always adopt the style of a 13 year old upper middle class Hispanic boy with divorced parents?

6,447,054 Aufrufe

Fighting antisemitism in video games is so 2025

Fighting antisemitism in video games is so 2025

6,025,661 Aufrufe

They ruin everything

Sensitive content

They ruin everything

6,089,878 Aufrufe

Here’s the deal on women’s hair Men prefer the before But they aren’t kicking either out of bed Women compliment the after Because they hate competition & love using fake compliments to gas ugly chicks - and to look good publicly But women look better w/ longer hair

Here’s the deal on women’s hair Men prefer the before But they aren’t kicking either out of bed Women compliment the after Because they hate competition & love using fake compliments to gas ugly chicks - and to look good publicly But women look better w/ longer hair

10,043,387 Aufrufe

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An Aries ♈️ always protects his cubs 🦁

An Aries ♈️ always protects his cubs 🦁

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,523,205 Aufrufe • vor 2 Monaten

Unpopular opinion: we should let these people die when they overdose Would fix a lot of cities quickly

Unpopular opinion: we should let these people die when they overdose Would fix a lot of cities quickly

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

10,844,298 Aufrufe • vor 6 Monaten

Being poor doesn’t mean you have to feed your kids low quality meals

Being poor doesn’t mean you have to feed your kids low quality meals

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

36,733,269 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

A modern tragedy

A modern tragedy

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

26,344,366 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Modest clothing yet every guy looks. Is there something attractive to being classy that society has lost?

Modest clothing yet every guy looks. Is there something attractive to being classy that society has lost?

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

61,816,849 Aufrufe • vor 3 Jahren

I was just SUED for $5,000,000 over my X posts criticizing Israel by FBI director Kash Patel's inner circle. I've never engaged in defamation or illegal activity. Gross LAW FARE This is an ATTACK on free speech & an EMBARRASSMENT to the FBI & Trump Admin Here is my RESPONSE:

I was just SUED for $5,000,000 over my X posts criticizing Israel by FBI director Kash Patel's inner circle. I've never engaged in defamation or illegal activity. Gross LAW FARE This is an ATTACK on free speech & an EMBARRASSMENT to the FBI & Trump Admin Here is my RESPONSE:

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

11,584,657 Aufrufe • vor 11 Monaten

Feminism and its consequences

Feminism and its consequences

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

44,948,711 Aufrufe • vor 3 Jahren

At least they don’t wash their meat with soap like their contemporaries overseas

At least they don’t wash their meat with soap like their contemporaries overseas

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

23,613,151 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

FRISCO: “I’m from Africa. I’m blacker than all of you” Black man who came with a “White Lives Matter” sign at the Karmelo Anthony sentencing was told he wasn’t black for supporting Austin Metcalf He quickly put all the crazy blacks in their place so they threatened to kill him

FRISCO: “I’m from Africa. I’m blacker than all of you” Black man who came with a “White Lives Matter” sign at the Karmelo Anthony sentencing was told he wasn’t black for supporting Austin Metcalf He quickly put all the crazy blacks in their place so they threatened to kill him

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,254,134 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

I’m 32 years old too and all the therapy in the world wouldn’t keep me alive if I was this much of a deadbeat at this age

I’m 32 years old too and all the therapy in the world wouldn’t keep me alive if I was this much of a deadbeat at this age

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

11,465,417 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

This is how to deal with shoplifters

This is how to deal with shoplifters

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

37,066,297 Aufrufe • vor 3 Jahren

“You really need millions of skilled immigrants for your country to continue being great” *the skilled labor in question 👇🏼

“You really need millions of skilled immigrants for your country to continue being great” *the skilled labor in question 👇🏼

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

16,705,191 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr

Trying to shop at a grocery store in Texas in 2026 be like

Trying to shop at a grocery store in Texas in 2026 be like

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,010,555 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

Divorced at 37 to be happy & find herself • no sex 2 years • husband provided well • couldn’t believe marriage broke down during sex strike • claims she’s the victim tho she initiated The “typical female social media divorce story” was put into Ai. This is the result:

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Divorced at 37 to be happy & find herself • no sex 2 years • husband provided well • couldn’t believe marriage broke down during sex strike • claims she’s the victim tho she initiated The “typical female social media divorce story” was put into Ai. This is the result:

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

518,909 Aufrufe • vor 1 Monat

The outfits girls wear at gyms is getting out of control

The outfits girls wear at gyms is getting out of control

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

23,154,344 Aufrufe • vor 2 Jahren

Bullet proof safe rooms in schools. WTF

Bullet proof safe rooms in schools. WTF

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

34,614,533 Aufrufe • vor 3 Jahren

The power washer hero we didn’t know we needed

The power washer hero we didn’t know we needed

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

29,503,625 Aufrufe • vor 3 Jahren

FRISCO: Family members of Karmelo Anthony assaulted me and my crew Threw water bottles at us Threatened us with violence & started trying to put hands on us for simply asking them about their shirts See how we left their tent when asked without stabbing them? It can be done

FRISCO: Family members of Karmelo Anthony assaulted me and my crew Threw water bottles at us Threatened us with violence & started trying to put hands on us for simply asking them about their shirts See how we left their tent when asked without stabbing them? It can be done

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

2,228,184 Aufrufe • vor 4 Monaten

Not a kid in sight Theme park adults should be deported

Not a kid in sight Theme park adults should be deported

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

9,913,678 Aufrufe • vor 1 Jahr