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ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

@ElijahSchaffer • 843,430 subscribers

Everything you read about me online is true | Host @slightlyoffens on @therifttv | “Subpar Comedian” -Trump | Aeries♈ against Lindsay Clancy | SATIRE | links👇

Shorts

Imagine you’re the husband working 12 hour days to afford the privilege for your wife to stay home in an upper middle class home like this She has every modern luxury, doesn’t worry about food, car paid for, hair done, nice clothes & only one child & you find this on TikTok?

Imagine you’re the husband working 12 hour days to afford the privilege for your wife to stay home in an upper middle class home like this She has every modern luxury, doesn’t worry about food, car paid for, hair done, nice clothes & only one child & you find this on TikTok?

2,288,104 views

FRISCO: Karmelo Anthony BLM protest is heating up outside the Frisco court house Random supporters are approaching white people like myself and screaming at us Lots of anti-white racial slurs being thrown around. I’ve already been threatened and assaulted along with my crew

FRISCO: Karmelo Anthony BLM protest is heating up outside the Frisco court house Random supporters are approaching white people like myself and screaming at us Lots of anti-white racial slurs being thrown around. I’ve already been threatened and assaulted along with my crew

5,210,255 views

Producing children this genetically dissimilar than you isn’t a flex

Producing children this genetically dissimilar than you isn’t a flex

29,764,505 views

Dallas, Texas is quickly becoming unlivable with the Indian invasion

Dallas, Texas is quickly becoming unlivable with the Indian invasion

5,237,652 views

FRISCO: “F*ck India! F*ck India!” A Texas resident Clayton Walker rips an Indian flag in front of city hall Voicing anger against the Indian immigration invasion in north Dallas

FRISCO: “Fck India! Fck India!” A Texas resident Clayton Walker rips an Indian flag in front of city hall Voicing anger against the Indian immigration invasion in north Dallas

3,714,673 views

Los Angeles is like Gotham city right now

Los Angeles is like Gotham city right now

22,754,934 views

Why do girls that look like this always have the highest standards?

Why do girls that look like this always have the highest standards?

31,522,958 views

All this work to remain modest & not draw attention to their physical beauty in public And they still can’t stay away from social media while trying to get the attention of 40.1 million strangers who viewed this video about their appearance Ironic. Females are fascinating

All this work to remain modest & not draw attention to their physical beauty in public And they still can’t stay away from social media while trying to get the attention of 40.1 million strangers who viewed this video about their appearance Ironic. Females are fascinating

16,051,511 views

Never forget what they took form us

Never forget what they took form us

14,663,896 views

Holy shit, what a f*cking waste

Holy shit, what a f*cking waste

16,487,468 views

Boomers will kick you out of the house at 18 so they can live like this on a Tuesday at 11am

Boomers will kick you out of the house at 18 so they can live like this on a Tuesday at 11am

11,074,375 views

Women literally abandon their children to make spreadsheets. Pathetic losers

Women literally abandon their children to make spreadsheets. Pathetic losers

10,237,472 views

WTF: Lindsay Clancy supporters are now analyzing court audio recordings for signs of “divine feminine energy” in wave forms to confirm her innocence I think we can finally all agree now The Salem Witch Trials were totally justified

WTF: Lindsay Clancy supporters are now analyzing court audio recordings for signs of “divine feminine energy” in wave forms to confirm her innocence I think we can finally all agree now The Salem Witch Trials were totally justified

128,189 views

Usual suspect

Usual suspect

9,511,783 views

Probably all divorced

Probably all divorced

10,014,367 views

Why do masculine lesbians always adopt the style of a 13 year old upper middle class Hispanic boy with divorced parents?

Why do masculine lesbians always adopt the style of a 13 year old upper middle class Hispanic boy with divorced parents?

6,444,691 views

Fighting antisemitism in video games is so 2025

Fighting antisemitism in video games is so 2025

6,025,086 views

They ruin everything

Sensitive content

They ruin everything

6,089,288 views

When girls are 30+ and finally ready to settle down

Sensitive content

When girls are 30+ and finally ready to settle down

2,362,247 views

Videos

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An Aries ♈️ always protects his cubs 🦁

An Aries ♈️ always protects his cubs 🦁

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,511,877 views • 13 days ago

Unpopular opinion: we should let these people die when they overdose Would fix a lot of cities quickly

Unpopular opinion: we should let these people die when they overdose Would fix a lot of cities quickly

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

10,842,814 views • 4 months ago

If being a Stay-at-home-mom is so difficult Why do women consider Stay-at-home-dads lazy? If watching children is the hardest job in the world Why do they call it the “bare minimum” for dads to spend their time off work raising the kids with them?

If being a Stay-at-home-mom is so difficult Why do women consider Stay-at-home-dads lazy? If watching children is the hardest job in the world Why do they call it the “bare minimum” for dads to spend their time off work raising the kids with them?

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

147,685 views • 3 days ago

Being poor doesn’t mean you have to feed your kids low quality meals

Being poor doesn’t mean you have to feed your kids low quality meals

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

36,732,000 views • 1 year ago

A modern tragedy

A modern tragedy

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

26,333,487 views • 1 year ago

FRISCO: “I’m from Africa. I’m blacker than all of you” Black man who came with a “White Lives Matter” sign at the Karmelo Anthony sentencing was told he wasn’t black for supporting Austin Metcalf He quickly put all the crazy blacks in their place so they threatened to kill him

FRISCO: “I’m from Africa. I’m blacker than all of you” Black man who came with a “White Lives Matter” sign at the Karmelo Anthony sentencing was told he wasn’t black for supporting Austin Metcalf He quickly put all the crazy blacks in their place so they threatened to kill him

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,252,204 views • 2 months ago

I was just SUED for $5,000,000 over my X posts criticizing Israel by FBI director Kash Patel's inner circle. I've never engaged in defamation or illegal activity. Gross LAW FARE This is an ATTACK on free speech & an EMBARRASSMENT to the FBI & Trump Admin Here is my RESPONSE:

I was just SUED for $5,000,000 over my X posts criticizing Israel by FBI director Kash Patel's inner circle. I've never engaged in defamation or illegal activity. Gross LAW FARE This is an ATTACK on free speech & an EMBARRASSMENT to the FBI & Trump Admin Here is my RESPONSE:

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

11,583,237 views • 9 months ago

Modest clothing yet every guy looks. Is there something attractive to being classy that society has lost?

Modest clothing yet every guy looks. Is there something attractive to being classy that society has lost?

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

61,813,620 views • 3 years ago

Trying to shop at a grocery store in Texas in 2026 be like

Trying to shop at a grocery store in Texas in 2026 be like

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

3,008,519 views • 3 months ago

Feminism and its consequences

Feminism and its consequences

44,936,478 views • 3 years ago

FRISCO: Family members of Karmelo Anthony assaulted me and my crew Threw water bottles at us Threatened us with violence & started trying to put hands on us for simply asking them about their shirts See how we left their tent when asked without stabbing them? It can be done

FRISCO: Family members of Karmelo Anthony assaulted me and my crew Threw water bottles at us Threatened us with violence & started trying to put hands on us for simply asking them about their shirts See how we left their tent when asked without stabbing them? It can be done

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

2,224,921 views • 2 months ago

At least they don’t wash their meat with soap like their contemporaries overseas

At least they don’t wash their meat with soap like their contemporaries overseas

23,610,813 views • 1 year ago

*Pakistani / Indian moves to North Dallas *first thing they do is litter all over the neighbor’s yard *welcome to my daily hell

Pakistani / Indian moves to North Dallas first thing they do is litter all over the neighbor’s yard *welcome to my daily hell

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

1,677,503 views • 2 months ago

“Stop thinking about these kids as people” Lindsay Clancy investigators have hit rock bottom

“Stop thinking about these kids as people” Lindsay Clancy investigators have hit rock bottom

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

193,395 views • 10 days ago

I’m 32 years old too and all the therapy in the world wouldn’t keep me alive if I was this much of a deadbeat at this age

I’m 32 years old too and all the therapy in the world wouldn’t keep me alive if I was this much of a deadbeat at this age

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

11,464,830 views • 1 year ago

“You really need millions of skilled immigrants for your country to continue being great” *the skilled labor in question 👇🏼

“You really need millions of skilled immigrants for your country to continue being great” *the skilled labor in question 👇🏼

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

16,704,164 views • 1 year ago

Mr. Yiannoppoulos, I warned you & everyone else who fucked w/ my life & divorce that very bad things would start happening to you all soon & I’d ensure none of you have enough warning to stop the simulation from collapsing We’re all going to have a very fun future together

Sensitive content

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Mr. Yiannoppoulos, I warned you & everyone else who fucked w/ my life & divorce that very bad things would start happening to you all soon & I’d ensure none of you have enough warning to stop the simulation from collapsing We’re all going to have a very fun future together

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

70,938 views • 4 days ago

This is how to deal with shoplifters

This is how to deal with shoplifters

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

37,064,671 views • 3 years ago

The outfits girls wear at gyms is getting out of control

The outfits girls wear at gyms is getting out of control

23,145,632 views • 2 years ago

Bullet proof safe rooms in schools. WTF

Bullet proof safe rooms in schools. WTF

ELIJAH SCHÄFFER

34,612,296 views • 3 years ago