Macken

@MackenMurphy • 24,190 subscribers

Oxford grad studying mating. "Macken Murphy is able to condense vast chunks of information into engaging and digestible episodes." — The New York Times

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Some folks on here appear to take it for granted that most men, ideally, would like to marry a virgin. However, the extant data suggest that both men and women prefer someone with a modest—but *not* chaste—past. Virginity *reduces* attractiveness, somewhat.

I suspect a lot of modern mating anxiety is downstream of this fact: generally, men lower their standards for casual mating, but women do not. This leads to men worrying about their partner’s past hookups (“was he hotter?”) and women wondering why men have “commitment issues.”

Why Women Love Tall Men - How much does height matter? (0:00 and 2:52) - Why, exactly, do women love tall men? (0:10) - Are there cultures where women don't care about height? Why don't they? (1:27) - Are any men "too tall" for women? What's ideal? (1:52)

On TikTok you see a lot of women talking about how they want to date "medium ugly" or "ugly-hot" guys; basically, guys who look good, but not *too* good. Initially, I thought this was sour grapes. But maybe it's strategic; really hot guys come with real costs. Thoughts?

Some men on here warn attractive women that they shouldn't sleep around because "no guy will marry them" afterwards. Now, I think "don't sleep around" is good advice, but this is likely an empty threat. Attractive women are inundated with suitors regardless of such factors.

A lot of women ask me some variant of: "Why do so many men have commitment issues?" When you understand evolutionary psychology, though, these "commitment issues" begin to look more like a strategy.

Never Get Cheated On --- 0:00 Introduction 0:20 Part I: Mate Selection 10:14 Part II: Mate Retention 14:36 Part III: Infidelity Detection 16:59 Conclusion

There's widespread concern that gender equality will leave successful women struggling to find partners. It makes sense: Women mostly want to "mate up" financially, and as women get richer, there are fewer men who are "up." But our experiment suggests we may not need to worry.

Big myth on here that men of all ages want to date women in their 20s. Sure, from a physical attractiveness perspective, men find women in their 20s most attractive. But overall, most men aren't so shallow as to care only about physical traits. They want compatibility, too.

Ambivalent, curvilinear sexism.

Study of 93,158 people from 93 countries finds right-wing people spend more time on their looks than left-wing people. Unsurprising to find this about right-wing women (i.e., conforming to gender norms). But it's fascinating that right-wing men spend more time in the mirror.

If "successful men would date an Applebee's waitress" is true, how come the extant data on successful men show they almost never do that? 🤔

While men’s attractiveness does decline less early—and less precipitously—than women’s, it does not increase with age. “Men age like wine” is mostly a self-soothing sentiment for men who struggled with women in their youth.

Widely-known fact: Men typically exhibit a mate preference for sexual modesty. (This finding from evolutionary psychology is well-disseminated, at this point.) Lesser-known fact: Women exhibit a similar preference! And it makes sense... More past partners = more risks.

Most "male vs female gaze" disputes on here (where men and women disagree about whether a guy is attractive) are solveable by remembering that men tend to overestimate how much women like masculinity.

Bald men are perceived as more dominant, more masculine, more competent, more intimidating, they’re even perceived as taller (!?) and yet… Women find them *less* attractive. Any theoretical explanations?? Help me think.

People who are more oriented towards casual relationships have a harder time with committed relationships. More divorce, more infidelity, less satisfaction, etc. The only surprising part of this suite of findings, for me, is how much pushback they get.

Your odds of divorce in a first marriage decline the older you marry until about 30, but then they start to increase again as you enter your late 30s. Any ideas why?

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Prause et al. (2015) found that on average, women prefer penises about 6.3 inches long. Sounds like a preference for "average," but people overestimate penis size by ~1 inch. 6.3 is about 95th percentile for men and larger than most women in this sample had seen in the wild.

Some folks on here appear to take it for granted that most men, ideally, would like to marry a virgin. However, the extant data suggest that both men and women prefer someone with a modest—but not chaste—past. Virginity reduces attractiveness, somewhat.

On TikTok you see a lot of women talking about how they want to date "medium ugly" or "ugly-hot" guys; basically, guys who look good, but not too good. Initially, I thought this was sour grapes. But maybe it's strategic; really hot guys come with real costs. Thoughts?

Bald men are perceived as more dominant, more masculine, more competent, more intimidating, they’re even perceived as taller (!?) and yet… Women find them less attractive. Any theoretical explanations?? Help me think.