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Crewkerne Gazette

@CrewkerneGaz • 35,608 subscribers

The Official Crewkerne Gazette | by @crewkerneman

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After a long day in police custody, Prince Andrew was released on bail earlier this evening. Naturally, his thoughts turned straight to pizza. {satire}

After a long day in police custody, Prince Andrew was released on bail earlier this evening. Naturally, his thoughts turned straight to pizza. {satire}

756,932 просмотров

David Lammy at PMQs: “My father was ran out of business under the thatcher government” So we brought Mrs Thatcher back to run him out of business as well ⬇️

David Lammy at PMQs: “My father was ran out of business under the thatcher government” So we brought Mrs Thatcher back to run him out of business as well ⬇️

374,612 просмотров

Ed Davey used his New Year’s speech to go after Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Nigel Farage. He wasn’t ready for what came next..

Ed Davey used his New Year’s speech to go after Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Nigel Farage. He wasn’t ready for what came next..

73,593 просмотров

Keir Starmer has literally just turned up at the G20, tripped, and fallen head-first into Rachel Reeves’ infinite Black Hole.

Keir Starmer has literally just turned up at the G20, tripped, and fallen head-first into Rachel Reeves’ infinite Black Hole.

62,110 просмотров

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The Green Gucci Girls bump into each other in the park and, naturally, decide it’s time for Gucci. Hannah Spencer summons the Rolls-Royce and off they glide, giddy with joy. But who’s behind the counter? None other than Zack Polanski. {satire}

The Green Gucci Girls bump into each other in the park and, naturally, decide it’s time for Gucci. Hannah Spencer summons the Rolls-Royce and off they glide, giddy with joy. But who’s behind the counter? None other than Zack Polanski. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

94,031 просмотров • 1 день назад

Doctor Who: Jacob Rees-Mogg travels to 2040, finding England desolate after a decade of socialist rule. Searching for his assistant Liz Truss, he soon faces a far slimier threat: the dreaded Thornberrians. {satire}

Doctor Who: Jacob Rees-Mogg travels to 2040, finding England desolate after a decade of socialist rule. Searching for his assistant Liz Truss, he soon faces a far slimier threat: the dreaded Thornberrians. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

252,314 просмотров • 6 дней назад

Nicola Sturgeon faced heavy scrutiny over the weekend over her apparent blindness to that motorhome. Matters worsened when she and her husband somehow ended up trapped in Gordon Brown’s cave of eternal despair. Spare a thought for the Scots. It can’t be easy. {satire}

Nicola Sturgeon faced heavy scrutiny over the weekend over her apparent blindness to that motorhome. Matters worsened when she and her husband somehow ended up trapped in Gordon Brown’s cave of eternal despair. Spare a thought for the Scots. It can’t be easy. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

661,983 просмотров • 16 дней назад

Keeping Up with the Sturgeons continues After escaping Gordon Brown’s Cave of Despair, Nicola and Peter cross the Scottish border and flee to the familiar comfort of London’s Savoy Hotel. But they weren’t counting on The Proclaimers. {satire}

Keeping Up with the Sturgeons continues After escaping Gordon Brown’s Cave of Despair, Nicola and Peter cross the Scottish border and flee to the familiar comfort of London’s Savoy Hotel. But they weren’t counting on The Proclaimers. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

523,908 просмотров • 15 дней назад

Andy Burnham was caught having a full-blown meltdown while campaigning in Makerfield ahead of the by-election. He only calmed down when Gemma Collins arrived, having apparently been summoned to save the campaign, but sadly, tragedy soon ensued. {satire}

Andy Burnham was caught having a full-blown meltdown while campaigning in Makerfield ahead of the by-election. He only calmed down when Gemma Collins arrived, having apparently been summoned to save the campaign, but sadly, tragedy soon ensued. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

834,728 просмотров • 27 дней назад

Keir Starmer faced mockery in the Gulf yesterday, after our brave troops were forced to endure one of his speeches and then heard talk of banning Gentleman’s Relish. Quite rightly, the lads were having none of it. {Satire}

Keir Starmer faced mockery in the Gulf yesterday, after our brave troops were forced to endure one of his speeches and then heard talk of banning Gentleman’s Relish. Quite rightly, the lads were having none of it. {Satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

1,354,837 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

Carol Vorderman has a blocked toilet and calls for a plumber to come and unblock it. The plumber is Reform UK’s Robert Kenyon who quickly identifies the cause of the issue, but it’s no easy task. {satire}

Carol Vorderman has a blocked toilet and calls for a plumber to come and unblock it. The plumber is Reform UK’s Robert Kenyon who quickly identifies the cause of the issue, but it’s no easy task. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

418,388 просмотров • 24 дней назад

Keir Starmer and David Lammy hit the beach yesterday, both looking rather red after Lammy forgot Keir’s suncream. They weren’t expecting to bump into GB News’ Keith Bays (in the bay) whose booming voice sent them both skyward. {satire}

Keir Starmer and David Lammy hit the beach yesterday, both looking rather red after Lammy forgot Keir’s suncream. They weren’t expecting to bump into GB News’ Keith Bays (in the bay) whose booming voice sent them both skyward. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

344,995 просмотров • 22 дней назад

Ed Miliband has outlawed tumble dryers and led the first dawn raid on a suspected offender today. Charged with Net Zero crimes, the rogue appliance tried to make a break for it, but luckily Ed intervened and stopped it right in its tracks. {satire}

Ed Miliband has outlawed tumble dryers and led the first dawn raid on a suspected offender today. Charged with Net Zero crimes, the rogue appliance tried to make a break for it, but luckily Ed intervened and stopped it right in its tracks. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

76,695 просмотров • 7 дней назад

Disgraceful banned video depicting Jeremy Clarkson and Keir Starmer fighting has caused mass outrage and offence. So we made a politically correct and woke version that everyone can enjoy… {satire}

Disgraceful banned video depicting Jeremy Clarkson and Keir Starmer fighting has caused mass outrage and offence. So we made a politically correct and woke version that everyone can enjoy… {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

1,065,483 просмотров • 3 месяцев назад

Today on Keeping Up with the Sturgeons, Nicola asks Miss Hoolie what to take Peter in the slammer. Haggis seems obvious, but prison changes a man. Thankfully, Officer Boyle of HMP Glasgow arrives to raise morale with his suspicious sausage. {satire}

Today on Keeping Up with the Sturgeons, Nicola asks Miss Hoolie what to take Peter in the slammer. Haggis seems obvious, but prison changes a man. Thankfully, Officer Boyle of HMP Glasgow arrives to raise morale with his suspicious sausage. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

143,570 просмотров • 14 дней назад

As our odyssey into Scottish politics continues, Nicola Sturgeon joins forces with the Big Yin in a last-ditch attempt to save the man in her life, Peter Murrell. But their search leads them to John Swinney, Scotland’s very own answer to Nosferatu. {satire}

As our odyssey into Scottish politics continues, Nicola Sturgeon joins forces with the Big Yin in a last-ditch attempt to save the man in her life, Peter Murrell. But their search leads them to John Swinney, Scotland’s very own answer to Nosferatu. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

78,738 просмотров • 8 дней назад

David Lammy and Sir Trevor Phillips shared a McDonald’s, but tensions rose when Lammy insisted only he had the right to remove the pickle. When the bill arrived, things escalated, a young man was arrested, and Trevor calmly stepped in to de-escalate and save the day. {satire}

David Lammy and Sir Trevor Phillips shared a McDonald’s, but tensions rose when Lammy insisted only he had the right to remove the pickle. When the bill arrived, things escalated, a young man was arrested, and Trevor calmly stepped in to de-escalate and save the day. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

86,028 просмотров • 10 дней назад

Al Carns tried to show Keir Starmer the scale of Britain’s defence funding crisis, but Keir wasn’t listening. Too busy protecting the welfare state, he danced around the problem until Carns finally resigned. {satire}

Al Carns tried to show Keir Starmer the scale of Britain’s defence funding crisis, but Keir wasn’t listening. Too busy protecting the welfare state, he danced around the problem until Carns finally resigned. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

46,360 просмотров • 5 дней назад

The Top Gear lads decide to pinch Jeremy Clarkson’s Hawkstone from Waitrose after learning staff are no longer allowed to stop shoplifters. Keir Starmer’s socialist utopia is in full effect. {satire}

The Top Gear lads decide to pinch Jeremy Clarkson’s Hawkstone from Waitrose after learning staff are no longer allowed to stop shoplifters. Keir Starmer’s socialist utopia is in full effect. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

574,998 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад

Reform UK’s Rob Kenyon has released a rap music video, and Lee Anderson is not best pleased. But things take an unexpected turn when Cilla Black takes exception too, with more than a hint of Ali G about the whole affair. {satire}

Reform UK’s Rob Kenyon has released a rap music video, and Lee Anderson is not best pleased. But things take an unexpected turn when Cilla Black takes exception too, with more than a hint of Ali G about the whole affair. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

85,017 просмотров • 11 дней назад

Nicola Sturgeon takes a wee trip to the Palace for a little chicken dinner with Andrew, but royal hospitality soon turns into utter chaos, leaving Andrew with a rather unfortunate bruise upon the once-princely noggin. {satire}

Nicola Sturgeon takes a wee trip to the Palace for a little chicken dinner with Andrew, but royal hospitality soon turns into utter chaos, leaving Andrew with a rather unfortunate bruise upon the once-princely noggin. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

87,839 просмотров • 12 дней назад

On Laura Kuenssberg this morning, Zack Polanski found himself seated beside Kemi Badenoch and looked about as comfortable as a man awaiting a tax audit. Visibly rattled, thoroughly uneasy, and then things took a turn nobody saw coming. {satire}

On Laura Kuenssberg this morning, Zack Polanski found himself seated beside Kemi Badenoch and looked about as comfortable as a man awaiting a tax audit. Visibly rattled, thoroughly uneasy, and then things took a turn nobody saw coming. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

310,923 просмотров • 1 месяц назад

Emily Thornberry erupts at the Foreign Affairs Select Committee, grilling Morgan McSweeney over a missing McDonald’s milkshake. A damning McVerdict for Keir Starmer, as Thornberry manhandles McSweeney. {satire}

Emily Thornberry erupts at the Foreign Affairs Select Committee, grilling Morgan McSweeney over a missing McDonald’s milkshake. A damning McVerdict for Keir Starmer, as Thornberry manhandles McSweeney. {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

323,235 просмотров • 1 месяц назад

PMQs today: Keir Starmer looked as though he’d glued his fingers to his forehead with a Pritt Stick, but just wait for Kemi Badenoch’s one-liner at the end… {satire}

PMQs today: Keir Starmer looked as though he’d glued his fingers to his forehead with a Pritt Stick, but just wait for Kemi Badenoch’s one-liner at the end… {satire}

Crewkerne Gazette

526,754 просмотров • 2 месяцев назад